S O U L × E A T E R

Reminder that my new blog is @aurea-oculos and this blog is an archive, if you want to follow me and interact with Claude then do it. 

Just in case any of you were wondering about my whereabouts I have been working way too much, two whores conspired and called licensing on the school so now we are under investigation for the next three months and the complains happened 4 months ago which means they are no longer irrelevant, I cut my long hair and got my nose pierced, I might have to go back to school to keep my job, I am not ready to go back to school, I will delete this blog soon and if you want to follow me then here is my new blog @aurea-oculos and Rasputin has been stuck in my head for days and I can’t stop thinking how this song makes Judas smirk. Follow my new blog if you want to interact or just vibe, I don’t mind it. 

It’s my birthday! Please send me cute messages, I want to read them and treasure them forever!!! 🥰💙💛💚💜

Should I move Claude to a new blog to maybe get some inspiration or just let this one rot and I'll rot with it as well.

I am going to make Claude my own OC, it doesn’t belong to Yana anymore. He belongs to me and only me, thank you for coming to my TED talk. 💜

Hewwoo sorry for not being active like I used to but I am not doing okay mentally. The whole ordeal with my mum going to the hospital and being in charge of everything took a toll on my body and brain to the point my sleep schedule is all over the place. I have been dealing with other life problems and I have no idea how to cope with anything at the moment. The only thing that’s keeping me “sane” in a way is my job but I finally decided to get some help to help me cope and manage my life in a healthy way. Recently, the relationship with the man that is supposed to be my father has gotten bad to the point I don’t talk to him and his presence bothers me. I came to the sad realization that he will never love me or support me in anything I do and that is heartbreaking because I am a good daughter and a good person who will end up taking care of him before he perishes. I have suppressed anger and sadness towards him and I have to let of those feelings go because they are consuming my soul and my brain. My inspiration to do the things I enjoyed has been gone for months now and I don’t have the energy to regain it again, it’s actually quite exhausting because I want to sit down and paint or write but I get this negative feeling and stop doing them. It’s been a roller coaster these past few weeks and I really want a break from everything I am dealing with, do you know what I have been doing to distract my stupid mind? Watching anime and reading manga because I don’t have the energy to do anything else, I am hyper fixated on things so I don’t deal with the real world like a “productive adult.” I am looking forward to get the help and I hope my sessions start next week but I have to wait when I get my new schedule. If I have a little bit of energy today, I’ll get on today just to interact and just have fun. 🌝