Always An Angel, Never A God

⋆* part one, read here

⋆* part two, read here

⋆* part three, read here

⋆* part four, read here

⋆* part five, read here

⋆* part six, read here

⋆* part seven, read here

⋆* part eight, read here

⋆* part nine, read here

⋆* part ten, read here

⋆* part eleven, read here

☾ ⋆*·:⋆*·:⠀ *⋆.*:·ﾟ .: ⋆*·ﾟ: .⋆

© 𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗲𝘀𝘀

𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆, 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗵, 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲, 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗽𝗮𝗱 𝗼𝗿 𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝘀. 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿’𝘀 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 <3

𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞... and fell around her like a curtain, tickling your bare chest as the mage above you admired the view. The corner of her mouth twirled upwards into a challenging grin as the rapid beating of your heart fell in rhythm with hers. But where she welcomed the feeling and longed for more, you froze underneath her in return as you felt her touch against the scarred burn marks, which you had refused to get rid of during your ascension. Without your scars, there would no longer be a reminder of who you were before and the life you had led. Yennefer felt the rough and tattered skin underneath her fingertips and was reminded of the few threads you had let loose about your past through the years. Even if you had never told her what had happened, at least not in detail, she counted it as a victory that you let her see the remains of your past, of everything you had buried deep within yourself. Aretuza had approved of your request to keep some of your scars, only if you would get rid of those that would be in view of the lords and ladies you were going to advise. In their eyes, it wasn’t proper for a mage to look battered and bruised, like the brutes of the Continent. Your scars would only distract and take away the illusion of your elegance and graceful knowledge. You had agreed to the compromise, knowing that no one would ever see the scars from that day forward, except for yourself. And Yennefer, as it seemed.

It was as if the sudden cold breeze that travelled into the room and made you shiver had pulled you back to her. Her warm breath tickled against your neck as she slowly placed a chaste kiss right where she could feel your heartbeat pick up even more. She smirked and nibbled at the flesh against your collarbone when she felt your breathing fasten by your rising chest flushed against her own bare skin. Feeling her breasts against your own, however, did nothing to ease your mind. You wanted this. You had so for years. In all truth, there would never be a living day where you wouldn't want to be Yennefer's whole world, as she had been yours for as long as you could remember. But it gnawed on you that perhaps Yennefer didn't want you as badly as you had yearned and longed for her. She was the most enchantingly beautiful woman you had ever known, although you had thought so even before the change during the ascension, and knew that she could have a different man, or woman, in her bed each day if she wanted. If the renowned and skilled Witcher Geralt of Rivia wasn't able to keep her around, then how could you be more interesting to her? Besides, Yennefer of Vengerberg had never been shy about her body and led her life with a certain sensuality of which she knew the effect it had on the people that met her. What if you were just another night of fun for her, nothing more, nothing less? Then again, if that was all this would ever be, couldn't you just be greedy and take the offer currently presented to you on a golden platter?

"You think too much," She mumbled into your hair as her lips planted a kiss behind your ear, "You'll find you'll enjoy yourself much more if you just give in." She chuckled lazily, and you wondered if she was too drunk for you to let this go on.

But what did she mean? Give in to what? To Yennefer's fingertips softly grazing over your nipples and making their way further down? Or to the magnetic pull you had felt around her for years? One thing was certain; there was no going back, and things would change drastically whether this moment would be regretted or not. You cursed the bottles of brandy and apple cider you had torn through together when you tasted the sweet liquor on Yennefer's tongue as it slipped between your lips, softly massaging with your own.

"I'll take good care of you." She mumbled against your lips, her voice dripping with arousal and lust, but was alarmed when her wrist was clenched tightly by you. She retreated and those big, violet eyes looked down at you in worry. It should have been clear to you then and there, that you too were well past tipsy when you didn't look away under her stare like you normally would. Instead, you looked back into her softened eyes, those eyes that felt like a breeze travelling through a field of lavender on a Spring morning, but the blazing storm clashing against Aretuza's walls as well.

"Do you want me?"

There it was; the quiver in her voice that signalled she felt as small as she had on those first few nights at Aretuza. With a touch as soft as honey, the hand that wasn't locked by your grip found its way to yours, where her thumb grazed a lazy pattern on the back of your hand. Her touch was feathery and it amazed you how gentle your normally so outspoken, headstrong and temperamental friend was. That surprise wasn't fair of you, for you had seen past the layers years ago. You knew it was there, that soft side, but you were too intoxicated by the alcohol in your system and too addicted to her touch and attention to realise she needed your reassurance more than anything in this moment. And perhaps even too distracted to realise that for Yennefer, this was different. This wasn't a passionate night to let loose with someone she had no emotional attachment to. This was you, and she would take her time showing you how much you truly meant to her. But right now, she wanted and needed you to say it out loud. To grant her proof that she hadn't been delusional each time you two had left. Did you feel the same ache in your heart every time she left you? But, admitting it out loud was a leap far too big for you, at least for right now, seeing as you were afraid you'd spill all of your heart's secrets if you started.

Yennefer's lips parted slightly in worry as her eyes quickly wandered around the room to the table of empty cups and glasses. She wasn't too far gone, she knew how to handle her liquor, and perhaps you weren't either, but maybe she could play it off as if she were, as if this was but a mere drunken mistake, just to protect her heart in case she had misread things and you would reject her or look at her differently come morning. There was no one Yennefer would rather have in her arms than you, but she would never open her heart to even entertaining herself with the idea of it, seeing as she was fairly certain that there was no epic love waiting for her in this life or any of the next. Not even a Djin's wish had been able to grant her the dream to finally be of importance to someone. To love and to care and to protect, and to get all of it in return in thousandfold. But if she could just only show you how much you meant to her during this supposed drunken night, then shouldn't she just take the chance?

Her words had already vanished in the air and you felt as if too much time had passed to answer her now. Surely the way you looked at her was an answer of its own, right? 

Your hands travelled up her thighs that had you trapped in your place beneath her and rested comfortably on the curve of her hips. With a slight squeeze on her skin and a pull of your hands, Yennefer realised what you wanted her to do. Her hips rolled and at even the smallest touch of friction, a gasp escaped her mouth followed by a low moan. When her lips parted and her raven locks fell in front of her face once more, you didn't close your eyes but looked up at her and felt your heart want to break through your ribcage, needing to remember this forever. You fell into a blissful haze, no longer being led by your inhibitions.

Yennefer sighed and melted into your touch, letting herself be guided into a sensual rhythm on your thigh, but pushed against your chest at the slightest hint of you wanting to sit up. She got off you, lips grazing your skin back up to your mouth in a feverish kiss as she lay beside you. She gently turned you to lay on your side, one of her legs sprawled atop yours. Your eyes roved over her when you parted, the desire between you two blatant and growing. 

"Yes," You breathed out, finally answering her, "Yes, I want you."

Violet eyes darkened when she looked at you through her hooded gaze. She chuckled, low, then nipped at your jaw, "Actions speak louder than words," She taunted, steadily watching your reaction to her clear request. 

The split-second of sobering hesitance that bubbled up and awakened something in your conscience had apparently flashed across your eyes, no matter how short, and Yennefer's expression softened.

"I want you, too." She murmured against your cheek, nose nuzzling against it, hoping her sincere words could wash away any and all doubt you still had in your mind. She tasted of apple cider and smelled like lilacs and gooseberries, and the heady scent of her arousal. 

With her forehead pressed against your temple, and her mouth close to your ear, you could feel and hear every gasp, tremble and cry that your fingers between her legs drew out of her. It was like magic, having her in your arms like that. It left you in a daze far more hypnotizing and potent than any spell, potion, or herb ever could. And when Yennefer had put her mouth where you'd been aching to have her for years, you swore that it was both the best and, probably, the last night of your existence, knowing your poor heart would never be able to survive any of it. 

That night, during the hours you'd had Yennefer's body glued to yours, it had been the only thing on your mind, not the inevitable aftermath or the thought that the same night that was making both your hearts explode, would also be the reason why they would shatter into a million pieces years later.

The nasty smells of animal carcasses had now been replaced by flesh cooking above an open fire. Night had fallen and after a long day of preparations, everyone could do with a filled stomach and a pint of ale. Yennefer had shut herself out from everything today and had not spoken a word ever since you had grabbed her heart and squeezed long enough until it had splashed and splattered. She had done her best to evade each conversation and shut down small talk with anyone around her, but it seemed that there was no avoiding people anymore if she wanted a plate of food.

She had grabbed the plate that was offered to her by one of the men standing above the pot of boiling beans with potatoes. She withheld a scowl when it made a distasteful sound as it fell against her plate. It had been ages since she'd had a poor man's meal like this, but she couldn't care less now that she felt the way she did. She wasn't even that hungry anyway. She sat to the side on one of the logs where she could silently absorb what was going on around her, but she wasn't granted her peaceful meal when Triss landed on a seat next to her. The redhead's slender fingers pried her piece of meat apart and gave Yennefer the other. Yennefer dipped her head in a silent thank you, but didn't want to give the woman next to her a reason to start a conversation.

However, it seemed that Triss didn't need one, for she opened her mouth before she had even tasted anything off her plate, "Last time I ate this robust was when I was helping a Witcher. We had set up camp somewhere in a valley for the night and when we couldn't-"

Yennefer let out a big sigh and didn't hide how annoyed she was by the intrusion of her peace. Triss stopped, smiled bashfully and somewhat regretfully, and turned to focus on the plate on her lap. They ate in silence without another word being exchanged. Yennefer tried her best to gracefully pry some meat off the bone without making it too messy and quickly found out it would be better to just leave the questionable mixture of beans and potatoes alone.

When they were both as good as finished, Triss nibbled on her lower lip. Was she going to put herself between both her friends? One thing was certain, she would forever regret it if she could have been the one to mend things between you. It was childish and unnecessary to be on such terms before a big battle, but perhaps the same stress and pressure everyone was feeling, had been too much for you both and had caused you to fight and handle things irrationally.

What it had been about, she wasn't too sure, though she could take a wild guess, she could only sense that it involved a lot of emotion and held heavy importance to both of you, going by the atmosphere she had walked in on.

"Y/N, is she-"

"I don't want to talk about her." Yennefer shut her down immediately.

Triss opened her mouth in protest and furrowed her eyebrows. Sure, everyone knew of Yennefer's temper, but she had never lashed out on her like this over something she wasn't even involved in. Though, perhaps that was exactly why she had lashed out.

"Listen, I don't want to come between you two but I really-"

"Then don't." Yennefer's head shot sideways and her lilac eyes sent daggers at Triss, who in return pursed her lips.

"Why would you part ways the way you did? We could be dead tomorrow, Gods, even before the sun rises again!" Triss' empathetic doe-eyes softened and begged Yennefer to listen to her. Yennefer didn't have it in her to crush her friend's kind spirit once more and kept her thoughts to herself, and instead pushed herself up. "Go find Y/N, and this time, listen to what she has to say instead of shutting her out again. Be reasonable for once, Yen. You'll be left all alone if you continue to treat people the way you do. Y/N won't stick around forever."

Yennefer turned around with a sneer on her lip. Triss had hit her right where it hurt the most. Alone... wasn't she already? Hadn't you already distanced yourself from her?

"Having someone around has only ever resulted in disappointment."

"Yennefer!" Triss spluttered but watched the raven-haired mage walk off nonetheless.

Yennefer's quick steps were adamant to get her out of there immediately, but a voice made her stop in her tracks.

"The ale won't disappoint you, that much I can promise." Tissaia held a tankard outreached in front of her to take, an invitation to sit with her as a soft smile tried to coax her to accept the offer.

Not wanting her rectoress to sense the weakness that had occurred mere seconds before, Yennefer straightened her posture and accepted the drink. She sighed defeatedly, "Ah, why not? We should enjoy it while we can. It's the first thing Nilfgaard will destroy." 

"Must you always be so fatalistic?" 

"You'll find that it's my most admired quality," Yennefer all but huffed, earning a snort and a shake of the head from the woman next to her. The two turned to each other with amusement glinting evidently in their eyes.

The moment faded and Tissaia cleared her throat, "We both know there's more to you than meets the eye. You just have a habit of not letting anyone see what truly lies beneath."

It was true, Yennefer hadn't only been bottling her chaos for years, but had managed to master bottling her feelings, emotions and all of her inner turmoil as well.

Yennefer ignored her and took a sip of the ale. She felt the warmth of the alcohol slide down her throat, wrapping around her like a welcoming but prickly woollen blanket in the cold of the night. It burned, but more satisfying than the lump she had tried to swallow down a while back. 

"What's the matter?" Tissaia turned to her, worry and intrigue etched into her features. Not shooting back a witty reply was foreign for Yennefer. Tissaia tried to get through Yennefer's blockade, to hear her thoughts, to see her worries, but the mage had sealed them off expertly.

"Besides possibly coming to our ends soon?" Yennefer turned to the woman beside her with an amused grin on her face, but Tissaia could see the turmoil swarming through her violet pools.

"Are you ready then? To die?"

The question didn't catch Yennefer off guard at all, for she knew her former rectoress always liked a direct approach. She had been on the receiving end of that bluntness for years, after all. And although it had crushed her at first, for all she wanted as an unwanted and unloved child was just some love and recognition, she was happy it had made her tough enough to overcome each obstacle she'd had to face so far.

Without hesitation, Yennefer spoke, "Yes. I've lived two or three lifetimes already."

Tissaia gave her a knowing look, "But you haven't been satisfied in any of them." 

Yennefer felt her throat tighten and her chest ache as she thought of all that had happened in those lifetimes. Of the dreadful years at Court, of the ache of not having the person she longed for most around. She took another sip of the ale and felt some of the weight lift off her shoulders, "I've tried. But I've got no legacy to leave behind. No family, no...Nothing worth staying alive for." Yennefer looked off into the distance and watched the shadows of the people around the fire dance against the walls of the Keep. She hated herself for needing to cast the memory of you aside like that, as if you had no value to her. She knew better though, and she knew she couldn't dwell on the empty feeling she felt, not tonight. "It's time to accept that life has no more to give." 

Tissaia looked down and softly shook her head, swirling the ale in her tankard absentmindedly as her thoughts wandered off. It pained her to hear one of her dearest students seem so unhappy. In fact, it pained her to see both of you this way. Tissaia wasn't stupid. She knew about everything.

She grabbed Yennefer's underarm softly, but tugged at the fabric of her dress to give her words more impact, "You have so much left to give... and there is so much you have yet to receive. If you can just open your eyes."

With those words, she left Yennefer to ponder as she disappeared into the crowd of drunk people trying to drink their worries away and celebrate what could be their last night.

"What are you sulking about?"

You heard her before you noticed her, but she appeared not long after out of the shadows, a tankard of ale in her hands and the smell of the liquid on her breath as well.

Tissaia's voice held a hint of amusement as she softly bumped your arm and brought the cup of ale to her lips. You were leaning against the cold brick wall, looking out over the people drinking and having fun on what could be one of their last nights- one of your last nights.

You grunted and shrugged, "Life." 

Tissaia let out a dry chuckle, for she could not imagine a better fit than two of her favourite students. You usually weren't as pessimistic as Yennefer was, but it humoured her how you perfectly complimented the other mage and her mood this night. 

"What about it?" She leaned against the wall beside you and followed your line of sight.

"How it's not as I had imagined it to be." 

Tissaia's amusement disappeared when she noticed you weren't being sarcastic or overly dramatic; you were speaking from the heart, from a heart that was shattered. Seeing you were going to vent, she kept her mouth shut.

"-I've had no freedom, no perfect family...not even one grande lover."

"But you had a chance at life. Multiple, to be exact. That's more than the young girl I found between the ashes that morning could have ever imagined."

Silence washed over you and your old mentor. Tissaia made a move to bring the cup back to her lips when she realised you probably needed to loosen up and let go of your turmoil more than she did.

You kindly pushed her hand away, "I shouldn’t. I tend to ruin things when I drink."

"You don't want to drink away your nerves and worries on what could well be our last night? You must really be ready to die then." Tissaia seemed amused by it, but deep down she was anything but. This wasn't you. The usual light in your eyes was nowhere to be found. Instead, your eyes looked around the encampment as if you had already lost. And you had lost, in your eyes at least. You had lost Yennefer.

"I just realise I ran out of time and that it has caught up to me, and I might never be able to right my wrongs. I have a hard time coming to terms with the knowledge that that is how I'll die."

Tissaia inspected your features, picked apart all your little tells that she had picked up on over the years at Aretuza, and therefore knew you weren't done speaking,

"Then again- I've lived many lives, for which I should be grateful... but if they're all going to be the same... and if the alternative is another few decades serving daft and criminal lords at court, living an awfully boring life and not receiving the happiness I so long for, then... if I die... it is what it is. Though I hope it will be worth it, I’d hate to die in vain and have Nilfgaard march over my corpse."

"Being a mage is an awfully lonely life. It is a life of solitude." Tissaia spoke softly, "But that's the price we all paid when we made the promise and decided to serve the Continent."

"I don't think I had any other choice." You noted, thinking of the theoretical dungeon you had been locked away in ever since you had first stepped foot in Aretuza. In more ways than one, your chaos and aptitude for magic had both been your greatest gift and your worst nightmare.

Tissaia fell quiet beside you and she pondered over her words for a while, "Did I make you feel like you hadn't?"

A sigh escaped you, for Tissaia had promised you a safe sanctuary after what had happened in your village. You knew very well that if your ripple in chaos hadn't happened on that damned night, you would have been among the dead by sunrise. Shaking, burned, feverish and full of terror, you felt like the only thing you could do was accept the hand the well-dressed and poised woman in front of you had offered. The rest had been history.

"Within one night, I had lost it all and gained so much back in return."

"But at what cost?" Tissaia finished for you.

You could only repeat her words as you looked out to the group of people, which included some of the friends you had made at Aretuza.

"At what cost."

She felt your restless mind as you could sense hers, and it didn't take long before the prospect of what was to happen caused you to let more bittersweet words flow out of your mouth.

"If I didn't take my chances during all these years, then nothing will change if I live to see another day. It just hurts that I only now start to realise and regret it all..." Your voice died down and Tissaia pushed herself off the wall to take a better look at you.

When you looked back into her eyes, you realised you had never seen them with this much empathy. Although still, you could also see the disappointment in them. Knowing the woman you had looked up to most in your life felt that way towards you at this moment right now, made your stomach fall as it had done so over and over whenever she was giving you a hard time at Aretuza. The sudden feeling that washed over you made you shy away into that corner she had pushed you towards for years, and so you decided to elaborate, hoping she would see reason,

"Everyone I've once cared for died years ago. They died with the old me that night in the village. I'm not leaving anyone behind. So even if I do regret not taking certain chances, there's nothing I can do about it now."

Tissaia tilted her head, seeing right through the lie you were trying to convince yourself of, "Everyone?"

You couldn't help yourself when your eyes wandered over the people sprawled about the ruins, but they never found the woman you were looking for. Without asking, you took the cup out of Tissaia's hand and took a big gulp.

"Everyone."

Yennefer watched you with all the focus she could muster, her eyes flicking between your concentrated expression and the space in front of your hands, but no matter how hard you tried, no portal appeared.

"Sabrina- show her how it's done, or else we'll be here all week." Tissaia dismissed you without giving you so much as another look and was already making her way to the other side of the room.

"No! She almost got it!" Yennefer protested, having seen a sliver of a glowing and reflecting thin sheet floating between your hands, and hating how Tissaia's dismissal had made you frown in embarrassment and lose all momentum.

"Do you want to be next, piglet? You couldn't even lift a pebble with your mind if your life depended on it."

The girls fell quiet, their eyes nervously flitting across each other's faces. But not you, who took Tissaia's words to Yennefer to heart as well, "I don't think that was very-"

Tissaia finally turned around and stared you down for speaking out of turn, "You only speak when spoken to, pup. Or are you so desperate for me to forbid you from following classes all of next week? A shame. You could do with extra classes or you'd be one of Aretuza's greatest disappointments. Both of you." She said with a tone of finality.

You cowered slightly and dropped your head in shame, making Yennefer's face harden and her fists ball in rage.

"Good. You're more tolerable when you're quiet." Tissaia walked towards Sabrina and continued the lesson.

But from right beside you, Yennefer's little finger slowly hooked around your own, a silent reassurance that you two would always have each other's back. Even if you would forever be known as Aretuza's greatest failure.

The multiple firepits that were lit all around the courtyard of the Keep flickered, warming everyone who rested around, fast asleep. A few people stood guard on the castle walls. Their shadows danced around the ruins each time they switched places. Tissaia had ordered every mage to try and get some rest, to preserve their energy, to fuel their chaos. It made her feel like a hypocrite, seeing as she was wide awake. She looked across the grounds, her eyes falling on the many sleeping people and among them, her group of mages. Who was to say how many of the women she had raised throughout all her lifetimes would survive this battle? She would be the woman who had built them and who would be the reason for their destruction as well. It pained her, but to serve the Continent and keep its inhabitants safe, this was what needed to be done. Although they were all there, Yennefer was nowhere in sight. But she knew you were around by the thoughts keeping you up. Your bottle must have been empty, seeing as you paid little mind to shield her away from your thoughts. She could hear your insecurities, your worries, felt the new pain of your heartache and the old of all the lives before, heard Yennefer's name echo, saw the woman's face and smelt the familiar scent of lilac and gooseberries. Your mind was a mess. No wonder it kept you up.

Her eyes tried to search the people, to see if she could figure out where you were exactly. The light of the fires blinded her view, but she finally saw your figure when a harsh wind blew the fire to just a small flame for a split second. She watched as you sat cross-legged and your eyes stared deadly into the fire. A warm blanket was wrapped around your shoulders as a dazed look coated your face. You seemed as calm as ever, others would even pass it off as you just being tired, but Tissaia'd had you under her wing for years. She knew better.

Movement caught your eye and you watched your old rectoress approach, careful not to wake anybody. She sat down on the blanket next to you, her eyes following the flickering of the flames. She didn't say anything, and neither did you, not for a while at least.

Your voice was hoarse as you opened your mouth to talk, 

"I lied." 

The sound got faded away by the wind and the ambience of the night, but Tissaia had heard you nonetheless.

"I know," She spoke in return.

The fire crackled and along with some people snoring and the wind softly travelling through the ruins, it was suddenly eerily quiet. Nilfgaard was out there, somewhere, preparing. People would lose their freedom, their homes, their loved ones, their lives and your biggest selfish concern was if you had already lost Yennefer before the big battle could even begin. 

"You haven't." 

Tissaia's spoke up, letting you know she had read your thoughts. It should have made your cheeks rise in heat that you had failed to close off your thoughts, worried about what else she might have seen or heard, but instead, you accepted the reassurance.

"Yennefer is as stubborn as she is powerful, but what she couldn't do then, she has mastered now; bottling her power, her chaos... bottling her feelings." She emphasised.

You turned to look at her, but she kept her gaze focused on the fire.

"As have you." She then looked up to watch your reaction, "You have bottled your feelings for decades, and now that same bottle has exploded right into your face." Her words were stern, as were her hard eyes, but you knew her words came from a place of love, for she would otherwise never have bothered to talk to you to ease your mind. 

Her answer came before you could even ask her, 

"It is not too late. But first, we defend Sodden, you have spent multiple lifetimes wondering about the what-ifs, prolonging that unknown territory for a few days longer shouldn’t hurt." She softly grabbed your chin, her expression softening, "I need you focused and ready, so you can make me proud again, my dearest girl." 

The tired smile on your face made her retract her hand, knowing you had understood her request of putting the battle of Sodden before your own gains first. You were a mage, after all, and you had to serve the Continent before serving yourself. It gave you a new sense of hope that after all of this, you would finally grant yourself the freedom you wanted. Even if that meant putting your heart on the line.

It had been a nice sentiment, to want to wait for the inevitable until after Nilfgaard was dealt with, but Triss' words had released something in Yennefer and had made her see reason. She was not going to die before she knew the truth.

You had barely slipped into a troublesome sleep until someone shook you awake. Confused and alerted, your eyes shot open, only to see Yennefer hover above you, nothing similar to the last time she had hovered above you. Her face was stern and you searched her eyes for any sign of the softness you always so loved to see in them, but no matter how long you looked, they were void of it.

"We need to talk."

As if she could read your thoughts, she huffed and stood back up, offering you a hand, "Forgive me for seeing reason and not wanting to die still hating you." She softly rolled her eyes, but you could hear she spoke her harsh words halfheartedly. Still, it hurt to hear her speak of hate when talking of you.

With her help, you stood up and quietly tiptoed behind her as she led you down the hill to a more secluded place, where you could talk without your voice barely reaching above a whisper to not wake anyone up.

Suddenly she stopped, and you had to be careful to not bump into her back. It seemed as if she could no longer stop her thoughts from raising. Whatever was on her mind, she needed to get it off right now. Before you could react or express your surprise, her words surprised you even more,

"You hate me." She stated more than asked as she turned around to look at you with that hard glare in her eyes. It scared you how quickly she had built her walls back up and shut you out.

"No, Yen, not at all! I could never." You grasped forward in an attempt to hold her hand, but she took a step back, distancing herself from you.

"Somehow, somewhere along the line, I have done something incredibly stupid to upset you. I don't know what's more pathetic; me not knowing what it is, or you not telling me."

This time, it was you who took a step back, but Yennefer didn't want to let you walk away from this again and closed the distance. Now it was she who reached out for you, and you let her as your fingers grazed together as they had done days earlier in Aretuza's council room.

With a trembling voice, she spoke, "Y/N please, don't make me beg you." She searched your eyes for the words your voice couldn't utter. She exhaled shakingly, granting you the last chance to speak up before she knew she would be done, "What do I mean to you?" She clenched her jaw shut as soon as the words had left her mouth, ready for impact. But no matter how heartbroken she would be, she needed to know the answer before she could get her peace.

Tissaia's words still rang through her mind;

"Even if you were a beauty, no one would love you."

"No matter how hard you'll try, there's no one who will ever love a piglet like you."

"Do you think anyone would care if you died?"

She heard them even now, years later, and they had fed her insecurity ever since they had left Tissaia's mouth. Her former rectoress had planted the seed of doubt in Yennefer's mind that she wasn't meant to be loved and cared for. Tissaia had shown that much herself during her time at Aretuza. Yennefer didn't want to admit it, didn't want those words to be given so much power, but she had let them take over, even going as far as restricting herself from ever fully opening up to the woman she adored most, for Tissaia's words must be true; no pup would ever love a piglet. She had rather lived in bliss and in her own crafted fairytale than face the harsh truth, but if she were to die soon, then she needed to know.

Yennefer searched your face as much as she could in the dark, but your mouth stayed agape and words didn't follow. Growing frustrated, she raised her voice,

"Do I mean nothing to you?!"

You wanted to scream, to shout all that you had bottled up ever since first meeting this wonderful mage standing in front of you, whose chest rumbled with thunder and whose heart was bigger than she knew herself, but it was as if you had clawed out your own vocal cords. Sure, you had known what Yennefer wanted to talk about, but you had never imagined her to surprise you with it the way she had. You should've known better though, seeing as Yennefer was an unpredictable bomb whenever she felt like was out of control.

"You mean- I... you-"

Yennefer moved her head at your stuttering in a way that would have otherwise been seen as comical, but you were on the brink of tears. This was it. Not even hours ago you had acted all melancholic and tough when speaking to Tissaia, yet now, it seemed as if you couldn't even muster up the courage to just spill the truth.

However, your torturous dilemma was cut short when a searing ball of fire soared through the air and lit your surroundings.

Its final destination? The ruins of Sodden.

☾ ⋆*·ﾟ:⋆*·ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:·ﾟ .: ⋆*·ﾟ: .⋆

i kindly ask you to not copy, republish, translate or reproduce this imagine on wattpad or on other platforms. respect the author’s work

𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐢 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐲 𝐀𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐳𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐭... in the orange hues of the torch flames and cast shadows on the brick walls. Yennefer could hear the voices echo through her head before she remembered how the sound of laughter and giggles had echoed off these very walls ages ago. She locked her jaw and stared down the hallway, remembering every bad memory created here, and the hatred she still held for this place. But the feeling didn't last long when a burst of laughter played on a loop in her head, the laughter she loved the most, part of a forgotten memory wanting to make itself known again. It made her see that damned smile, those sparkling doe eyes looking at her, and she felt engulfed with a welcoming sense of peace... and with it came a gnawing feeling of unworthiness.

Yennefer walked up to the door of her old chamber, but hesitated. It was as if time hadn't passed at all when she heard a cacophony of giggles on the other side of the door, but they weren't yours, and that aggravated her immensely. She let out a quick and frustrated breath through her nose and glared at the wooden door. It was foolish and childish, to say the least— to be angry at time, to be angry that it had passed... and clearly not in her favour. And, she was angry at Aretuza. Not only because of the obvious reasons but also because it had forced her to part ways from you, with your damned smile.

She turned away and picked up her pace, not stopping until she reached the door she had knocked on so many times before. However, when she opened the door, she didn't meet with that smile, or those eyes, or the smell of the perfume she so adored because it reminded her of you. Instead, the nasty smell of a fire that had just gone out started to itch at her throat and watered her eyes. A grey cloud of smoke filled the barely candlelit room. It was now cold in there, void of any of the warmth you had filled it with all those years ago. Yennefer blinked... once, twice, and if she squinted, she could see the ghost of a younger you sitting cross-legged on the bed tucked away in the corner, a book in your hands. Your head shot up as something had caught your eye and when the eyes of a past you locked with Yennefer's, she realised this was the memory she had cherished the most. She had forgotten the details, like the book you had been reading or how the crashing of waves was heard in the background thanks to the opened window, but now that she stood in the same exact spot, the memory came to life again.....

....."Yen!"

Your voice was soft, tired even, as were your eyes, but they were filled with a warmth Yennefer had longed for ever since her departure from Aretuza.

You beckoned the young girl over, who stood in the doorway, the tension in her uneven shoulders visible, a tell-tale sign that her talk with Tissaia hadn't gone all that well. Yennefer licked her lips and smiled, albeit hesitantly. She approached and sat down next to you, and you gave her a heartwarming smile as you adjusted her blue gown that had slipped slightly off one of her shoulders— her posture to blame.

You set your book aside and pulled her hands on your lap, giving them a squeeze, "You're blooming brilliant, Yen. Rectoress de Vries can bathe in her own pile of filth if she refuses to acknowledge that."

Yennefer let out a breathy chuckle at your lame try of an insult. She softly outstretched your fingers and started tracing the detailed lines of your palm. It tickled slightly, but you started to focus on the warmth of her fingertip. It was soothing, but in this moment, you wanted to be the one to soothe Yennefer, not the other way around.

Your fingers closed again and held onto Yennefer's hand. Her vibrant lilac eyes locked with yours, they were filled with doubt and vulnerability.

"But you bottled lightning. I did not." Her voice was soft and weak, and Yennefer hated how it had reminded her of her life before her conduit moment, "It deflected against me."

"You can't bottle something that's already inside you."

She wanted to snort— Yennefer thought it was just a mere attempt to get her spirits back up, but she should've known better when she looked into your eyes. Of course, you meant it, you always did when it came to her.

"You redirected it. I saw it with my own eyes. Redirecting and thus controlling lightning like that is just as, if not more powerful than trying to bottle it."

Your gaze drifted to your lap, where your joined hands rested, and with the other free hand, you started to play with the hem of your sleeve. Knowing Yennefer was still staring right at you, you refused to look back up, certain your cheeks would flush if you let yourself get lost in her eyes. It was moments like these where you felt grateful Yennefer still struggled to read thoughts, and it made you feel ashamed. But not as ashamed as when she would know your deepest secret.

"Y/N?"

Like a puppet pulled up by strings by their puppeteer, you felt your head rise after hearing her say your name. Her eyes scanned your face and she pursed her lips slightly, unable to read this new expression on your face. She had seen it a couple of times before and she hated that it left her clueless, especially given the fact she deemed you the most important person in her life.

The sound started off vague and distant, but as seconds passed, it became more audible and rang through her eardrums— the fast beating of a heart, your heart. She squeezed your hand and you looked up almost immediately, right into her violet eyes. The beating intensified and fastened, and Yennefer let out a soft sigh. She wanted to know for sure and dared to brush a strand of hair behind your ear, the rapid thump in her ears making the corners of her mouth stretch into a cocky grin. Cocky... because she had finally found it out... because the rapid beating of your heart had been her doing.

.....Yennefer coughed, the smoke now plaguing and clawing at her throat. Her heels clicked against the cold tile floor as she walked to the window, the sound of a storm outside now filling the silent and badly lit room. She stood there, looking out over the sea. This had been your view for years, and she couldn't help but wonder what your view was nowadays. She knew it wasn't a bustling city or a castle's courtyard, for you had left your place at court a decade ago. Your whereabouts were a mystery to her and it pained her that the two of you hadn't stayed in contact after the ascension. Well, you were both at fault for that one. She'd seen you a handful of times through the years, yes, but it wasn't enough, it never satisfied her need. She wanted more. She wanted everything, and there were only two things she wanted everything of— power, and you.

"This room is more depressing than I remembered it to be."

Yennefer's head whipped around in an instant, afraid this was another memory playing out, but the woman in the doorway wasn't a ghost of her imagination, wasn't a young and inexperienced mage. It was a powerful one, her chaos vibrating in her chest, one whose years at court made up for the lack of experience and confidence she'd had before she came to Aretuza. It was you.

There you stood, in full glory, back straightened and chin up, hands folded together in front of you. There you were again, with that damned smile, those warm and familiar eyes, that enticing perfume.

"Fits right in with the rest of Aretuza," Yennefer added immediately, a challenging look on her face, one that matched your cheeky grin. The two of you looked at each other for a couple of seconds, both wondering what should be done or said next, before you lunged forward and all but ran up to her to engulf her in a hug.

Biting your lip to surpress a grin was necessary— her hair still smelled of lilac and gooseberries, just like you had remembered. You had forgotten the exact way it had smelled, you blamed your years apart. A sense of nostalgia washed over you.

Yennefer hummed happily when your arms tightly wrapped around her torso, your chin resting on her shoulder. Had anyone else surprised her with this sudden embrace, she would have pushed them off and lost her cool, but she would accept every form of affection from you, even if so much time had passed. Adoring you felt like talking— no matter how many days were spent in silence, she would never forget the art of forming sentences. She closed her eyes and let out a content sigh, not even remembering how mad she was supposed to feel for being tricked by Filgevortz.

Unsure what time had done to your bond or where it had left you two, and not wanting to cross any of Yennefer's boundaries, you pulled back, your hands still resting on her shoulders, your faces still close. Just like your faces had been not even seconds ago in her memory.

"So-" You cleared your throat, and patted one of her shoulders, before taking a few steps back. Yennefer furrowed her eyebrows at this, at how you created distance between the two of you. "-I take it you're also here for the emergency conclave?"

Yennefer shook her head, confused, "I was going to ask why the hell you were back in this shithole but I guess that answers my question then."

"Nilfgaard took Marnadal and have now reached Cintra. The mages of the Nothern kingdoms are all here for the conclave."

You explained, but Yennefer was still confused, "I heard you left court, so why are you here then?"

"I was asked to join."

"Let me guess, you got a surprise visit from Vilgevortz as well?" Yennefer clenched her jaw shut.

When a bunch of footsteps echoed through the hallway, realising you needed to make haste, "No, Tissaia found me. I don't know how she knew where I was, but she did."

Yennefer tilted her head, intrigued, "Where have you been, exactly? I haven't heard from you in years."

Your eyes glanced from Yennefer to the door behind you, "I've hopped from town to town, helping people in need, and hid when necessary."

Yennefer cocked her head to the side and scanned your face, but your hand that suddenly held onto hers made her snap out of it.

"I've missed you." It was a daring move, but you planted your forehead against Yennefer's and closed your eyes. She looked at your shut eyes, mere inches away from hers, with a hint of worry on her face, but closed hers as well seconds later.

"As I have you."

☾ ⋆*·ﾟ:⋆*·ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:·ﾟ .: ⋆*·ﾟ: .⋆

Her lilac eyes searched, and soon found those of your own the moment she walked into the room. You had to force yourself to look away, even if you knew the rest of the room was just as enamoured by the gorgeous mage. Maybe not on purpose, but Yennefer of Vengerberg always demanded attention— for everyone to acknowledge the power she harboured, for them to acknowledge how every and any room fell silent as soon as she walked in. She wasn't keen on shying away to the background, hiding in the shadows like a mouse— she wasn't like you, who didn't want to shout your capabilities from the rooftops. You liked staying quiet, you liked the mystery. If one did not know the lengths of your power, you wouldn't be feared. You would be underestimated and they would be in for a nice, but nasty surprise when they decided to double-cross you. Not everyone should and could be the same, you definitely could never be like Yennefer, who was outspoken without being afraid, confident without an ounce of doubt in her being.

You knew you were a powerful mage, you could not deny that, for you would have met your ending years ago together with the other apprentices if that were the case. To serve as a conduit for Aretuza. Instead of that ending, you had been given the ability to come and go as you wished, travel through the Continent, serve your Kingdom, to make use of the chaos rumbling in your chest.

It seemed like most of your old friends had gotten word of the same worrisome news, or had gotten an invite for the emergency conclave as well, as they all stood behind Tissaia de Vries, your former rectoress. You had been too deep in thought and only caught yourself watching Yennefer approach and stop right beside you when she gave you a curt nod. She seemed deep in mind too, maybe even in a mood going by the lines between her furrowed brows and the slight head tilt and purse of her lips. You had stared at that face for hours during your time at Aretuza and even though Yennefer's face had slightly changed after her ascent, some things weren't that different. You wondered what had happened in the hour you had excused yourself to catch up with the latest news that had caused her mood to change so drastically.

However, her eyes softened as they took in your face in the light of the well-lit room instead of your old and dark chamber. She examined you as if she was quickly trying to confirm that all your familiar features were still the same. Your eyes kept locked, you were frozen into place and felt your heartbeat quicken at seeing this side of Yennefer again, poised yet fierce. This Yennefer was still the Yennefer you knew, but a different version than the one you saw when it was just the two of you alone.

You knew Yennefer could have taken a spot anywhere else in the room, but you realised she had sought you out, had gravitated to you just like when she had done so many years ago.

Your fingers immediately started playing with the end of your sleeve and you failed to notice the heartwarming yet playful grin on Yennefer's face, her mood now gone completely. Apparently, you hadn't changed at all either. You still had the same nervous habit. A rush of adrenaline mixed with what could only be described as a cocky sense of confidence rushed through Yennefer's body. She bit her lip, forcing her grin to disappear when she heard the exciting beating of your heart.

Her fingertips softly grazed over the wavy locks of hair cascading down your back, so softly that you didn't even feel it. The last time she had brushed her fingers through your hair, you had looked less... clothed, as you had lied naked underneath the covers of the bed you had shared with her. You still heavily blamed the events of that night on the red wine and apple cider you had shared during your night of catching up— and catching up you had done — but deep down you knew that was just a petty lie to try and brush your secret under the rug. It was clear that Yennefer was dealing with stuff, she had told you all about it the night before. So, if you had just been a tool to relieve some stress, a simple night of fun, then... then... well, you didn't know. Not knowing what you were to her left you worried, like grasping at something you couldn't see, like the doorknob in a darkened room when you so badly wanted to find your way out. Or like a problem you needed to solve as soon as possible, yet you didn't know where to start. The next morning, the wine was plaguing your head, which you used as an excuse to not bring up the one question on your mind. Neither did Yennefer. She actually hadn't uttered a single word.

Yennefer rested on her side and used her arm to prop herself up. The ghost of a content smile rested on her face as her eyes looked at you. They took you in— every detail, every curve, every scar or beauty mark. You knew she was watching, you knew the thin sheet barely covered your bare chest as you rested on your back, but you didn't feel uncomfortable. You felt oddly comfortable, actually. At peace. And not only because the events of the night before had completely rid you of all the pent up stress and worry. The silence wasn't filled with tension, nor was your body. Not anymore.

You were well aware that Yennefer was not only watching you but that she was completely naked as well, so you could not dare to turn over and face her. Not with the lack of liquid courage in your system, not before you could prepare yourself. If not the sight of the woman you adored most, naked, would make your cheeks turn pink, then the reminder of what you two had done definitely would.

A breathy, warm chuckle sounded from next to you, and Yennefer sat herself up to get a better look, since you seemed to refuse to turn to face her.

"Do I fluster you?" She teased and tilted her head to the side in a playful manner, her eyes never leaving your face.

Your eyes immediately flashed to hers, feeling caught.

"Ah, finally," Yennefer murmured with the same playfulness in her voice. "I was worried you might have regretted it all." She stood up, not bothering to cover up her body with a robe, and walked to the table to pour both of you a glass.

"It's apple juice," Yennefer reassured, "...with a little something extra to help with that headache of yours."

You accepted the cup and watched as Yennefer playfully grinned while taking a sip. You brought your own cup to your lips, not being able to stop yourself from wondering if things would change now.

The daydream was cut short when Stregobor's voice bellowed through the room as he started to accuse Yennefer, whose hand dropped back to her side as soon as all eyes were on her.

When the subject had shifted from Yennefer back to the last attack in Marnadal, your fingers started moving around, grasping at nothing but the air until they found what they were searching for. They lightly grazed Yennefer's fingers and you immediately wanted more. Like two magnets clicking together, hard to keep apart when in close proximity. Yennefer's name being mentioned again made you retract your hand and focus back on the conversation before you could give in to the pull.

Tissaia's observant eyes turned to stare at the table after she had looked at the two of you— she had seen the entire encounter.

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨

𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐢 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝

i kindly ask you to not copy, republish, translate or reproduce this imagine on wattpad or on other platforms. respect the author’s work

“Yen –”

Before you could finish her name, the air was stolen from your lungs, sending every nerve within you alight with adrenaline, as you stared into unseeing violet eyes, the taste of magic lingering in the stillness around you both. The unforgiving pressure tightening around your throat was stifling despite feeling no hand but you did not panic or flinch, forcing as much breath as you could through her unwavering magic. You could feel the familiar point of a blade digging into the juncture of your neck but she didn’t move.

So neither did you.

“It’s me, Yennefer,” you exhaled, relaxing slightly as the pressure softened somewhat. “You’re safe. It is just me.”

She blinked, realization dawning upon her slowly as she regained her senses.

“You were simply having a bad dream,” you promised, nearly gasping as the heaviness constricting your lungs disappeared abruptly.

Yennefer’s eyes were wide with regret, tears swimming in her waterline as she sat upright. “I am so sorry. I did not… I…”

Smiling kindly, you winked at the witch before taking a spot beside her. “This isn’t the first time a beautiful woman has held steel to my throat and I’ve always enjoyed a little choking here and there. Though it commonly involves less clothing.”

Yennefer laughed, though you could hear the emotion rippling through its steady burst. “Only you would say such things to the woman who almost killed you.”

“I have been known to prefer women that possess the ability to kill me,” you remarked with a smirk, shrugging nonchalantly despite the seriousness of the situation moments before. “There is something incredibly enticing about it.”

“You are an odd woman, Witcher.”

If someone else had spoken those words to you, you might’ve taken some offense to it, but staring into the moonlit violet, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Maybe it was gentle affection glistening in her eyes or the intimacy of how she leaned into your side just slightly. Maybe you were growing soft with age.

Maybe she truly was just… special.

“Rest. Knotgrass Meadow will only be a few hours ride away come morning and we’ll need to be on guard if the rumors and bounties are true.” Gesturing for her to lie down, you did not move away even as she reclaimed her previously abandoned position. “I will stay here. No monsters shall harm you while I’m here.”

Her brow furrowed but you pressed a finger to her lips before she could argue your decision.

“Sleep.”

-X-

Knotgrass Meadow was a fairly calm town, home to many Halflings and other non-humans trying to avoid the idiotic persecutions they often faced. The inhabitants weren’t exactly happy to see a Witcher walking through their village but they overlooked it when you began inquiring about their werewolf problem.

Besides, Witchers were just as unfavorable to the humans so they could make an exception for you. Especially if you were willing to banish the monsters ravaging their home.

Yennefer lingered outside the town’s walls, stroking her newfound mare’s mane as she waited for you to return. Nimble fingers brushed through coarse strands, her mind wandering with thoughts of the Witcher accompanying her. You were an enigma to everything she’d ever known about Witchers. For a creature fueled supposedly by coin and nothing more, you certainly seemed… different.

“We should begin our search a little further north tonight,” you announced unexpectedly, startling Yennefer as you unwittingly dragged her from her thoughts. Offering her a loaf of bread you’d been gifted, you hungrily nibbled on the other. “A pack of ‘em are supposedly camped out in the woods not far from here. People keep hearin’ their howls. The halflings say we’re welcome to rest here until we drive out their beast problem.”

“A grand honor indeed,” Yennefer breathed, biting into the freshly baked good.

Grasping Lyrium’s reins, you led your companions towards Yrim’s Inn. The eyes of wary Halflings lingered on your form but you purposefully ignored them, refusing to give them another reason to be distrustful. It took everything in your power to ignore Yennefer’s warmth nearly pressed against your side, though, as she kept close to you in this unfamiliar territory.

Tying both horses to a post with ease, you gestured for Yennefer to step inside before following suit. As the inn doubled as the town’s tavern, a plethora of beady eyes landed upon you, the noise dropping to near silence while they waited for someone to react.

“(Y/N) of Vizima,” the barkeep greeted calmly, setting aside the ale glass she’d been meticulously drying. “It has been a long time.”

“Razmatha,” you returned the greeting with a smile, bowing your head slightly. “You look well. Not a scar in sight.”

The barkeep couldn’t contain her smirk, stepping around the edge of her bar to stare up at you. “Not for a lack of trying by that pretty silver sword of yours.”

Violet eyes traced the side of your head in confusion, baffled by the nonchalance you and the barkeep exuded. As if this was a completely normal interaction. It was impossible to tell if she was expected to be cautious or if she should be as relaxed as you seemed to be.

“Hey, I apologized! Bought you some good ale too. Can’t bygones be bygones?” you jested, grinning at Razmatha. “I spoke with the mayor. He said he would convince you to give us lodging.”

Her head lolled in acknowledgement. “He did. I did not realize, when he said Witcher, he meant you.”

Yennefer’s brows furrowed at the tone but you remained unfazed.

“What say you, Razmatha? Might we have a room?”

The Halfling’s face was impassive, studying every line and scar etched into your skin. You were different than she remembered. Calmer. Steady. As though your wild years had abandoned you, leaving behind a seemingly peaceful Witcher in its wake.

Gazing deeply into the unnerving gold peering back at her, she finally found what she was looking for and sighed deeply.

“There’s an empty room upstairs at the end of the hall. It’s all I can offer you and your… friend. Everything else is taken right now. Halflings have been coming through in droves hoping to get protection from the werewolves and humans alike.”

“Thank you,” you murmured. “I hope that we won’t overstay our welcome.”

“He did mention you were planning to hunt the wolves. I suggest waiting ‘til tomorrow night, if I was you. Save some energy. It’ll be a full moon and those ravenous beasts will be causing all kinds of chaos.”

You hummed. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“The room you’re in has a tub. You should bathe, Witcher. I can’t imagine your companion will enjoy sharing accommodations with someone who smells like they’ve been sleeping in barns since last winter.” Razmatha grinned, though you could feel the pointedness of her words, eyes drifting along your dirty attire and over your smudged flesh.

Grimacing, you chuckled awkwardly. “Duly noted, ma’am.”

-X-

Wringing the water from your stark white locks, you carefully stepped around the partition separating the tub from roaming eyes. Yennefer was sitting on the edge of the bed, her newly washed hair still damp and shining in the candlelight. You couldn’t help but note the scope of the bedding, realizing that if you were both planning to sleep, you’d be entirely too close to such a beautiful witch.

Gods, what have I gotten myself into?

Discretely glancing about, you tried to find a viable solution but there was little floor space and nothing you’d risk sleeping on lest you break the downsized furniture.

“They never expect human-sized patrons, I suppose,” Yennefer commented, capturing her bottom lip in thought.

“We are the first allowed to sleep within their home, I believe.”

Tossing your towel aside, you settled beside Yennefer.

“I am fine sharing a bed with you,” she mumbled, a faint hue darkening her cheeks as she peered into the unlit fireplace. “I see the worry in your eyes. Though I understand if you don’t wish to share with me, considering what happened…”

A callused hand landed atop hers.

“I have no qualms about sleeping with you, Yennefer. I just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” Wincing at your choice of words, you nearly apologized but decided against it.

After all, it was a true statement either way.

Yennefer’s blush deepened but she didn’t shy away from the contact so you took it as a minor victory.

“I say we listen to Razmatha and get some rest tonight. A full moon will grant you the most potent werewolf saliva and if we’re lucky, you’ll have some to spare afterward.” You squeezed her hand before rising, nodding towards the door. “How about a drink?”

Razmatha was swift to accept your coin as you grabbed two meads from the barkeeper, passing a mug to Yennefer before snagging a nearby table. It was a bit too small, knees hitting the underside of the wooden top so hard your drink nearly tipped over, but you didn’t mind as Yennefer giggled, a tiny sheen of foam clinging to her lip.

“Never thought I’d see a clumsy Witcher,” she teased, smirking at the scowl marring your features, though it held no fire.

“And just how many Witchers have you met, mage?” you bit back, eyes lingering too long on her mouth as you watched pink flesh swipe at the sticky foam, mind wondering into indecent territories.

With that, conversation began to flow like honeyed mead. Stories of Aretuza and Kaer Morhen passed between you, the hesitation and secrecy you bore slowly tumbling away with every new tale. You even dared to mention your childhood, insignificant pieces of your past that you cared little about. Those moments held no real meaning now, your life as a Witcher far more intriguing.

“Wait, wait,” you interrupted, setting aside your empty mug. “You’ve met Geralt of Rivia? The king of broody men? Who names his horses Roach? Not just one but all of them?”

“I have. He was quite handsome though his personality can certainly be… off-putting, at times.”

Pursing your lips, you rolled your eyes at the notion. “Geralt, handsome? What a vile thought, though his little witch seems fond of him.”

Yennefer paused, mug nearly touching her lips. “Who?”

“Triss… something. Real pretty thing. Keeps the big man in line whenever he’s not questing about the continent.”

“Merigold,” Yennefer finished knowingly. “I am not surprised she took a shine to him.”

Leaning back in your chair, you watched Yennefer finish her drink. Her eyes were glossy, mead threatening to replace the blood in her veins as she swayed just slightly to the sweet crooning of the Halfling bard.

You’d never seen a prettier sight.

Always having believed fate to be nothing more than a fictional hope, you’d never considered the idea that maybe there were some things in life that were inevitable. But a sliver of you couldn’t help wondering if this was fate. Meeting this incredible woman; helping her when she was in need. What if, in all the fucked up things you’d gone through and survived, meeting her was the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel?

Shaking your head as the thoughts ran rampant, you stood. Extending your hand to the wide-eyed mage, you peered over at the dancing patrons, all drunk on mead and high spirits.

“May I have this dance? Might as well act like locals for one night.”

Yennefer met your unwavering gaze, weighing the cons of such a decision. It was a single dance but she feared the ramifications. She’d only known you a handful of days but she couldn’t deny the truth. You could unravel every wall she’d built; touch pieces of her soul that she deemed forever lost.

“Y-”

Panicked screams echoed just outside the doors of the inn, drawing your attention immediately as the music ended abruptly. Hand flying up to grab the hilt of your sword, you rushed out the door and into the fray of madness without a second thought, regretfully leaving behind your would-be dance partner. Senses sharp despite the mead, you noticed a lone werewolf tearing through the village and coming rapaciously towards you while the Halflings flung themselves into safer spaces, desperately trying to avoid the monstrous, hungry beast.

Growling low in your throat, you readied your blade. Sidestepping the fiend, fur drenched in fresh blood, you dragged the silver across its bulging side in hopes of slowing its riotous pace but it only served to infuriate the wolf. Anticipating its charge, your blade slid between its teeth, sliding backwards as it continued to push you. Sharp incisors repeatedly clash against the silver, unfazed by the inevitable sting but you never faltered.

The creature froze, head snapping back to stare at its hind leg and forcing you to do the same. Tendrils of magic were anchoring it to the earth, but it only served to fuel its hatred. Releasing your blade and slinging you aside, you rolled onto your feet in time to see fur flying towards Yennefer. A shield met it mid-air but the beast shouldered through it as though it were parchment, startling you both. Yennefer was by no means weak, which meant…

“He’s enchanted, get down!” you howled, time slowing as you forced yourself to move faster than the werewolf. All you could envision was Yennefer, caught in the monster’s teeth, forced into a miserable existence or an early grave.

Your shoulder slammed into the beast, feet losing ground as you sent the wolf and yourself crashing into a vegetable cart. Ears ringing and blood oozing from your temple, you didn’t have a chance to react to the mouth latching onto your side until it was too late.

“Fuck!” you screeched, bashing the hilt of your blade into its head repeatedly before shoving it into the side of the wolf’s throat.

A garbled wail escaped its mouth as it freed you from the bite, crimson spilling from the wound and painting the ground around you. It thrashed its head about desperately before stumbling into the darkness of the nearby woods. You tried standing, determined to end the beast before it could escape your sight, but the fire in your side forced you down, bare hand turning crimson as blood seeped through the cracks of your fingers.

“Stop, Witcher,” Yennefer chided, landing beside you and pressing her hands delicately onto the raw flesh. “You’re losing too much blood. Death will take you before you ever reach him if you do not tend to it.”

“I’ve had worse,” you grunted, choking back a whine as gentle fingers probed about. “He’s injured. Now is the best time –”

“No! Now is not the time. Not if it gambles your life too,” she argued, ignoring the hiss of pain as she helped you unsteadily to your feet. “Tomorrow.”

Peering about at the terrified Halflings, clearly distressed by the night’s events, you swallowed another gasp. You didn’t take pleasure in their fear and you certainly despised the apprehension blossoming from Yennefer, knowing the wound only served to worry her.

You refused to consider why it upset her so.