Everything Relevant

One of the most heart-wrenching aspects of Hualian is that Hua Cheng even after 800+ years is still very much the small, abandoned, and tormented child he was when they first met. He has gained power, and he uses that to achieve justice for Xie Lian but also for the small child in him that had been bullied to the point of suicide. But his perception of himself is still very warped by his upbringing. He doesn't think he's 'ugly' as some attempt at faux humility. He genuinely can't see it because it's all he's been perceived all his life. He can stomach Xie Lians cooking partially because he adores him but also because anyone who's known long term starvation will know that at some point as long as the food itself is edible everything else is of no consequence. No matter the smell or taste or even how it looks. When he trembles and shakes as he's confronted by Xie Lian in regards to his feelings it's not because he has no self worth, but because he still reveres Xie Lian as that deity who had broken the rules just to talk to him. The human that had held him as he sobbed after being told he was cursed. How could he deserve the love and kindness of this person he so revered and adored after being told all his life that he has no worth?

At first, Hua Cheng mostly gives off the impression of a normal over-protective broody love interest in a romance novel, overly paranoid over anything that might potentially hurt Xie Lian, but then you get to the White Clothed Calamity arc and realize, oh god, oh fuck, that’s actually a completely reasonable response to having to watch someone go through that, he’s actually showing remarkable restraint by allowing Xie Lian to go off and do his own thing as much as he does