A project in three hundred sixty-five.

Restarting this project because I miss talking to myself out loud.

So here goes Entry No. 001/365, as I quietly pore over who I am as a senior resident to my juniors at work.

At this point in time, expressed affirmation that I'm doing things right go a long way. One of our first years who I have guided since the first draft of our clinical case had her major presentation today and I felt a good mix of pride and inspiration upon seeing her final output - how she weaved her narrative while emphasizing how she took care of the patient the best she can while staying true to our framework, it was all worth commending.

And I took part in that. :)

Though I didn't say anything about it in the open, the time spent and the conversations we had are undeniable. I am never the type to brag or to mention it to others, because I just take what I do as part of my work ethic - that these things that others perceive as something above and beyond is but part and parcel of how I work.

It is strange though, how I seek affirmations when I am such a quiet worker. Admittedly, I still do have the desire to receive it from our well-known superiors, . But recently, being thanked by my juniors, feels more like a blessing.

it is you and your choice of songs - or your subtle smiles, maybe, that caught me. that slight quirk of the lips to the left, that to me, spelled of amusement at the situation more than anything else.

and that moment was held suspended - because at that moment, I felt that I was more.

there is something endearing about the tone of your voice, how you talk, shy but with the firmness expected from a senior, and the way you take a quick glance sideways at the closing elevator doors, just to check if you look okay. These subtleties, these imperfections, these little reassurance that you are just as human as I am -

The Passion Planner Simple and unassuming, but it does its work effectively. :)

I’m about to go on my third year using the planner - a loose leaf version of it, as I don’t really have the budget to buy the actual journal with the shipping fee and all - and I can really say that it definitely helped me keep track of what I have been wanting to do.

Its is humble in its design, forgiving, and makes you think with its end-of-month reflections, weekly prompts and quotations. Its simple layout and mind mapping tool allowed me to be free of the pressures in letting the planner serve any other purpose aside from what I personally intended it to. It was liberating, in all sense of the word.

2016 was all sorts of beautiful.

This post was originally written in the last few days of 2016, as I was looking back and envisioning what I wanted my 2017 to become.

May pasok na bukas.

Ah, kaya pala.

#7

Typing up a quick 3:30AM post because I never imagined that I’m going to come up with a medical write-up at this point in time because of a very important detail that may or may not be missed when my uncle was brought to the emergency room last Thursday in London.

He was living alone. He had constant communication with my mom prior to his confinement. It is possible that my mom was the only one whom he shared his symptoms.

It is possible that my mom knows things that could help his attending physicians--information that could be regarded as a lead in his case.

#6.5

Finding myself in the midst of blank A4′s and multi-colored twin markers, aptly called ‘MyColorz - Berry Edition’ and some orange.

If there would be an award to be given to how easily an individual loses herself over material things with the internet as catalyst, I think that I would have to nominate myself. (Congrats, by the way, to Mr. DiCaprio who finally won his first Golden Globe, which was very well-deserved.)

It is funny how I obsessed over conjuring a "To buy" list on my OneNote under the guise of a reward tab. I listed down a watch worth approximately 7 to 10k, an extra strap for the said watch amounting to 2.7k, a waxed lunchbag, calligraphy materials, a gouache set, an exercise ball, a Motex labeling kit, a fountain pen with a flexible tip, a couple of casual tops sold over the net for less than 200 pesos each, a pair of white shorts from a loved brand (because it's sale season here at the moment), and a ticket to Exo'luxion next weekend heftily priced at 5 to 10k.

Ano'ng nangyari?

It’s a little bit crazy, how I tend to leave things be for a while when I lose the momentum, with the promise to finish it when the spark returns.

Then I go back to what I posted a few entries back--there is no such thing as the ‘right time.’

And now, I’m committing to this one-liner.

No more but’s, or maybe’s. Because now is the right time.

In med school, we are taught to believe the patient when he/she says that he/she is in pain. That pain is subjective. That you are not in the position to push aside the symptom in favor of referring to a multitude of other reasons.

If the patient tells you that he/she is in pain, believe it.