Miraculous Menagerie

Hello! I'm Alie, in my early 30s, born and raised in Colorado. All are welcome here! I am Catholic and will talk about my Christian faith sometimes, especially how it colors my worldview with my animals.

This is a sideblog about my horses; main blog is @coloradocowgirlforchrist.

I've been riding horses regularly since 2001. I graduated Westernaires in 2010. My bachelor's degree is in Equine Science. I interned at a therapeutic riding ranch in 2013, worked in the performance horse industry in 2014–2015, volunteered to teach kids and adults how to saddle, ride, and care for horses from 2009–2019, and am now training and riding my own horses, with an emphasis on outreach.

I am a full-time and part-time paramedic on an ambulance in a busy 911 system, where I work 48-hour (or longer) shifts. My short-term goal is to establish the state's first Mounted Honor Guard. My long-term goal is to have a ranch for an equine-assisted psychotherapy program for first responders.

These are the horses you may see here:

Passed on to greener pastures, forever loved and remembered always:

💚 Casper: 13.3hh 1998 summer black BLM mustang mare • since 12/9/06 • retired 11/15/19 • R.I.P. 8/25/22

💖 Shorty: 16.2hh 1998? blood bay grade unicorn gelding • since 6/9/09 • R.I.P. 2/2/19

💜 Brandy: 15.1hh 2013 buckskin AQHA mare • since 9/19/22 • R.I.P. 2/13/26

Current herd:

❤️ Ruby: 2023 buckskin AQHA mare • since 11/14/23

💛 Prairie Sage: 2023 palomino AQHA mare • since 11/14/23

🩵 Tillie: 14.3hh 2020 grade appaloosa mare • since 6/26/26

Sold:

Shiloh: 14.2hh 2013 piebald overo BLM mustang gelding

Maximus: 14.3hh 2012 grey BLM mustang gelding

Currently for sale:

Silver Firecracker: 14.3hh 2017 grey AQHA gelding

Had another great lesson on Friday. We are doing walk/trot lessons until the saddle fitter comes out.

L. got to see Tillie's new shenanigan (hopping into the trot). Stopping and backing her wasn't working, so we worked on just pushing her through it, which helped. It also helped that I didn't react big, and instead just guided her out of it calmly and consistently.

We did some ground pole stuff to keep her focused on where her feet are, and also to help me keep looking ahead at where I want to go, instead of looking directly in front of us.

L. reminded me Tillie is still green. I knew this, but sometimes I forget because she's so chill about new things I ask her to do (carry a flag, trailer out to the mountains for a trail ride). She's basically sat on pasture for the last three years, minus a few tune-ups at the trainer's. She doesn't know if she's supposed to trot slowly or quickly, that she's supposed to transition quietly.

Her back was maybe sore before our ride? She wiggled for the rubber curry, and flinched against palpation of her SI. But after the ride, she wasn't sore anymore. I wonder if riding was enough to stretch out and warm up the muscles. I'm still gonna have a chiro come adjust her.

L. also recommended I start giving her pectin before we ride. A lot of horses, especially those fed twice a day instead of free choice, are bothered by stomach acid sloshing around while riding, which can cause behavioral issues. If that's not the issue with the hopping, the pectin won't hurt, but it will probably help regardless.

The saddle fitter is coming out on the 21st. As of right now, all the saddles I've tried on her slide forward when she canters. I end up almost on her neck... even if the cinch is cranked down, even with a back cinch.

So we've been riding bareback. Or just doing walk/trot under saddle.

Tillie just naturally puts her head down when she canters. It's not constant, just periodically. I don't know if she's stretching out or what.

Two days ago I tried to fight her on it because I assumed she was putting her head down to crow-hop. The more I fought her on it, the more she actually did get crow-hoppy. I ended up coming off (I'm totally fine, not even sore, just a tiny sand burn on my elbow) over her neck because I couldn't get her head up whilst also holding onto her mane for dear life, and then she slammed to a halt at the rail.

Life is waiting to begin at the end of your comfort zone.

In 2008, we had our annual horse show. A few thousand people usually turned out to watch. We were costumed and flagged up, walking around the warm-up area. I was nervous. One of the older girls on my team asked me if I trusted my horse. I was on Casper, my favorite gal of all time, who was spicy and forward but so trustworthy. I felt like I hit the jackpot with her. I would literally count down the hours to when I could ride her every week, my heart racing with excitement as my Mom drove me to the fairgrounds. Anyway, I said yes without pausing to think. I was shocked by the truth of my own words. I trusted my horse. I just didn't trust myself.

It's late and I have to get up early but I'm just so thrilled by how today went.

I had a lesson on Sage with the trainer that's saddle-training her. We walked and trotted around her huge arena out on the plains. Sage is doing so well. She's kind of a kick-ride, which is to say more whoa than go, although she does have some speed, and that's perfect by me. She's not very bendy yet. But she's responsive and safe. She's not barn sour or sticky or wobbly. She's gonna make such a cool riding horse with some miles. 💛

I also had this wild hair that I knew I needed to lope again on Tillie soon. And as far as I know, I don't have a saddle that fits her. So I told a bunch of friends I was going to hop on bareback and just lope. And a lot of them were hesitant due to my recent lack of confidence with loping. But while I was nervous, I wanted to do it anyway. I held on tight to her mane. And we did it!! She was a little crow-hoppy at first because I doubt she's ever been loped bareback, but she was awesome!! 🩵

I don't know why I never thought of this before, but music really helps me get in the right mindset. I use it to run and lift weights. Why shouldn't I use it to ride? So I put my Shokz under my helmet, and they actually fit really well, and I listened to “Test Ride” from the How to Train Your Dragon soundtrack because sometimes riding her really does feel like I'm on the back of a wild, but safe, dragon. And I felt so emboldened! I literally got off and cried. I'm rewiring my brain to not be scared anymore. Something in me needed that release.

An appy with hair?? That's crazy. 😂

The trainer loped today for the first time on Sage, and said she did well except her hind end gave out a couple times. Now I'm having 'Nam flashbacks to Brandy feeling like she was stepping in a hole with her back end, right before she went permanently lame.

The trainer said she had a personal horse years ago that was doing the same thing getting started, and they found OCDs in his stifles. But she's also had some that she started the same way and with more trotting and straight lines at the lope, the less it became by just building that strength and they x-rayed clean.

So, she's gonna have her trot ground poles once or twice a week and get her moving out under saddle. And if she's still doing it, she's bringing her broodmare to the vet at the beginning of August and will haul Sage along.

“helping”

I don't think Tillie has ever carried a flag before. She could absolutely not care less. Before I picked up the flag, I sat on her with it leaning on the fence, flapping in her face in the wind, and she just sniffed it curiously. I'm so damn proud of her for taking everything I've thrown at her without a care in the world. We were going to debut the Mounted Honor Guard yesterday, but my friend's Jeep was having towing problems.

Anyway, I have to admit to myself that I have so much anxiety about riding. I know I've already told my story, but here I go again because it's definitely a trauma response from all the times Shiloh bolted or exploded, or Maximus threw my sorry ass into the dirt. 😂 I know that 99% of bad horse behavior is the rider's fault. But I also do think some horses just learn to be assholes 😅 (Max, not Shiloh).

Anyway, my heart starts to pound before I get in the saddle. I start hyperventilating. I hate it. I used to be such a fearless rider, I can't even tell you. I used to gallop around in drill team with sixty other girls in an arena, running as fast as we could in and out of each other. We carried flags with costumes and music in front of thousands of people in the stands. We took our bridles off and jumped rails bareback. I used to get on anything and everything, sane or not. If I fell off, I got up, dusted myself off, got back on, and then went about my day like nothing happened. We all went to school in casts, on crutches, with concussions.

Now that I'm in my 30s, falls hurt a little more. The soreness of the bumps and scrapes lasts a few days, and usually requires ibuprofen. The ground isn't as soft as it was when I was a teenager. And now, if I get too hurt, I can't work; and if I can't work, I can't own horses.

I can't count how many times Max threw me off. When I got to this barn, and I first tried to canter him, he threw me off seven times in a single session. I got on eight. The last time, I rewarded him after a single canter stride with no rear by praising him and ending the ride. I guess I thought I was ending on a good note, rewarding the smallest try. I thought I could work him through it, if I could just hold on, if I could just keep getting back on.

But it wasn't good enough. There was always getting back on. But there was no holding on. He reared and then bucked, big, again and again, until you came off. He knew exactly what he was doing. I still remember the slow-mo feeling of being suspended ten feet in the air, the horizon going vertical, knowing that you'd lost. I usually rode bareback because I hated landing on the pommel/saddle horn, or scraping the rough-out leather on the way down. Every time I hit the ground in a heap, I just prayed his massive draft feet wouldn't trample me.

He threw Tori, Zachy, Katie, and a 16-year-old kid too (the fearless brother of a trainer, who told me he could ‘sit anything’, and decided after exactly one ride that he was not coming back); Katie wasn't even riding, she just sat on him for a photo, and he shifted and his leg knocked the mounting block, and he decided to toss her. Zachy, I was giving a pony ride to, and I had the lead rope in my hands. I didn't let anyone else ride him except a trainer at a clinic, at which of course he was well-behaved.

I had him almost five years before the last time he threw me, and something in me just snapped. Why should I continue to pay for a horse that purposefully endangers me? When there are Caspers and Shorties out there who protected my life at all costs and would walk through fire for me? Get your act together or hit the road.

Anyway, back to today. This morning I went to the barn straight from work to try to ride before it got too hot. It was already like 81° when I got there. I kinda milled around, getting my tack out, grooming, putting on fly spray, etc. until I was like, I can't waste any more time.

In the same arena Max made me eat dirt more times than I can count, I shook the tension out of my whole body, took some steadying breaths, tightened my cinch, and got on.

Tillie walked off calmly on the buckle. Our half-halt and vocal cue practice has been working.

She must be feeling comfortable around me now because last week she started tossing her head and squealing, like she's saying, “Fuck this walking bullshit. I want to go fast already!” So I told myself today I'd let her lope.

Well, I figured out why she put her head down last time I loped her. My saddle slipped forward. I got off and tightened my cinch more. Got back on, loped the other direction. It slipped all the way over the wither strap. She put her nose in the dirt and stopped, and let me get off and adjust again. This one doesn't have a back cinch, and the back came up too. All things considered, this was a very reasonable and safe reaction to my saddle all but catapulting me onto her neck.

Of all my saddles, this one, so I thought, fit the best. So, time for another professional saddle fitting. Hopefully I can time it so they can fit Sage and Ruby at the same time.

Bath time! I don't think she enjoyed it, lol.

Haven't updated in a couple days but I feel like I won the lottery with this horse.

We had our first riding lesson with an off-site trainer, L., who comes to my barn as requested. She gave us an incredible first lesson. She had nothing but good things to say about Tillie, and me for that matter (not in a flattering way, but just clinical observation—still, it was a big confidence booster). Tillie falls over herself to do whatever she thinks I'm asking. I just have to get in the consistency of asking her the same every time, so we can start to speak each other's dialect. I'm hoping to take weekly lessons here for a while to work on that.

We worked a lot on half-halts and downward transitions because Tillie is super sensitive and every light cue makes her want to go, and I want to be able to slow her down with just my seat and voice eventually, and keep her mouth nice and soft. By the end, Tillie was so calm and settled in. We started turns on the haunches and turns on the forehand. I am quite bad about knowing where my body is in space, I think it's an autism thing. This is why having an objective pair of eyes is so important.

Then barely a week after she got to my barn, B. and I hauled her and B.'s horse Mindy up to the mountains to do a trail ride. The trail ride ended up being unexpectedly super technical (steep, rocky, etc.) for our first outing, despite the AllTrails app saying it was moderate. We went about a mile and a half up, and turned around and came down because it was already getting super hot. There were pedestrians, runners, people with dogs, and cyclists aplenty, all of about one or two of whom were super respectful, gave us the right of way, and most cyclists even dismounted for us to pass. Mindy was in the lead for a bit, then we led.

For all of this, Tillie was never nervous or spooky. Not once. She balked briefly at a bridge, then courageously led Mindy across. She was super tolerant about me being more on her mouth than I would have liked because both of the horses kept trying to wander off the trail. 😂 She put her head down to look and deftly navigated the rocky formations, and went through gates willingly. She is barefoot and had no trouble over the rocks. And one point my cinch was kinda loose and the saddle rode forward on a downhill, and she didn't react at all, just rolled with the punches. I was nervous for nothing; she took excellent care of me.

Next goal is to debut the state's first Mounted Honor Guard (consistenting of exactly me, singularly, thus far) on the 13th, for a walk-off ceremony for one of our long-time paramedic lieutenants who is moving out of state. I'm trying to borrow a training flag until I can make my own so I can make sure Tillie is good with it, but I don't expect it will bother her. Nothing has so far. On the 13th, we shouldn't have to do much more than just stand there in the cordon in the parking lot with a flag while Color Guard does their thing and speeches are made. Just in case, my best friend T. is bringing her horse Cody to stand there looking pretty and be Tillie's emotional support buddy, although I haven't noticed her being buddy sour either. If flags go well, I just need to shop for some subtle but spiffy black tack, and figure out the helmet situation.

I briefly hopped on bareback a couple days ago with no prior turnout or lunging, and Tillie was amazing. She trotted off at once, then settled into a walk. I kept anticipating half-halting her, but every time I even thought about it, she settled down. That's all I wanted from my first time bareback.

So far, no buck, bolt, rear, or spook, even though she's in a brand new environment with a brand new owner and I've already asked so much of her. Is this even possible? I had no idea.

Practice trail ride complete. We did about two and a half miles in an hour on and off the property.

I was a little nervous this morning when I got her out and she was totally antsy because there were horses turned out around the barn and just chaos happening. But as soon as the saddle came out, she was back to business. I warmed her up in the arena and at the lope she did try to put her head down, but I was able to pull her face up. I can kind of see why she would be too much horse for a beginner.

But she was totally chill on the trails, watchy but nothing crazy. I had my friend lead for a while, when we took the lead and she was awesome. Very rarely did I have to convince her to move forward down and unfamiliar trail. We even went over some logs. It was a huge confidence booster and I feel ready for Friday. The new trainer at my barn also offered to give me a lesson on Thursday so that should help as well.

Welcome to the herd, Tillie!

She is home and settling in. She is surprisingly calm in a new place, a little snorty and that was it, then straight to the weeds.

I did go to catch her like an hour later to introduce her to my parents, and she came right up to me, but then she ran a little bit. The first test. 🤣 She's in a new and stressful environment though. I'm gonna work with her on some Warwick Schiller mindfulness stuff so she starts to trust me. She does really like people.