#tillie

FROM ⇢ 3x07 | THESE FRAGILE LIVES

she is!!

Please pray for me. I hate counting my chickens before they're hatched, so I haven't told most people. But I am prayerfully considering buying this beautiful appaloosa mare my trainer found for me. This is my best friend test riding her, unfortunately no one got a photo of me on her.

She checks all the boxes for me. She's quiet out alone on the trails, she's “more go than whoa” so I don't have to beg her to canter, but she's never out of control and she's so soft in the bridle and to leg and seat cues. She's been exposed to a lot, pulls kids in a wagon, has given kids lead-line lessons, lives with other horses, isn't bothered by goats, donkeys, dogs, cats, strollers, kids running around her. She could use some more miles but I think that's a very doable thing for me. Besides trails and backyard riding, I would like to do Mounted Honor Guard, parade, and posse stuff, and maybe even drill team with her.

I'm super excited about her with no qualms (besides baseline anxiety about the unknown), which is a good sign. I've been riding for twenty-five years but I have a troubled past with the horse market, which has effectively shattered my confidence, and I feel like I really have to “get it right” this time or I might just quit the sport in defeat or embarrassment (or just grow up a bit and realize my little barn family understands and aren't judging me for the years of trial and error).

It wasn't too long ago that I was prayerfully considering leaving the horse industry as surely no one God wants here would have this much ‘bad luck’.... But I also have a much better support system than I have in the past, so I feel much more equipped to troubleshoot issues that will inevitably arise. And I'm praying that my past traumas with horses don't give me bad habits that I will impart to a new horse, praying that this would be a clean slate and I can gain confidence and not bring old fears into the next chapter.