Apple Jane Elliott

It is said that there is no journey more liberating than that of celibacy. If true, then why is there such an emphasis placed on heteronormative sex and romance in the modern world? What is it about us humans that craves intimacy in such a visceral and inconceivable way? So much so that it is often placed above all else.

Take the Bechdel test, for example: a well-known measurement of gender representation in film and fiction. A work passes the test if it includes at least two named women who converse about topics outside of men or dating. Films and television shows are often criticized for failing this test, but within my own life, it is a rare occasion that I am gossiping with my friends and men aren’t a key talking point (and don't act like you don't do it too).

The same goes for the film, music, and media I consume. Breakup songs, romantic comedies, and the idea of being a yearning “hopeless romantic” all work to indoctrinate us with the idea that love exists and all we must do is be a good girl while we wait for it.

Not to sound like every other cynical writer out there, but I am entirely sick of it.

I align myself with feminist values and surround myself with like women, so why do we continue to put ourselves into this position? And how do we fix this?

Back to the topic of celibacy: I have made the executive decision to embark on this journey in my own life. Men have disappointed me time and time again. I have had ENOUGH.

It is time that women decenter men from our lives.