aporic draws

It’s difficult to fully articulate the hold that Patrick Stewart had on audiences when TNG was airing. Between the hundreds of magazine covers, the talk show circuits, and the paparazzi nonsense, the amount of baldness puns editors were compelled to create was astounding.

It was like the media fixated on this man because he had catastrophic levels of charisma and audiences were losing their minds over him (TNG was regularly beating network shows in ratings), yet he was so far removed from the narrow Hollywood standards of beauty that it vexed and haunted these people for years.

Baldness was a joke in Hollywood. 75% of George Costanza's identity revolved around bald jokes. If you were a bald actor, you were cast as a villain or a buffoon, never the hero. And if you were losing your hair, you had to slap a wig on or risk losing your career. Yul Brynner was somewhat of an exception but he was from a much different generation of Hollywood and even Bruce Willis didn't fully shave his head until 1994 (post TNG success incidentally).

In Patrick Stewart's case, there was often an undercurrent of snide putdowns with many interviewers, drawing focus to his baldness over and over and over again with low hanging jokes. It was like you could see their vanity-based paradigms cracking in real time and it was strange to witness. Imagine how bizarre it would be if talk show hosts today could only ask The Rock, Vin Diesel, or Jason Statham about their bald heads.

But karma swooped in to the rescue. In 1992 Stewart was voted TV Guide's "Sexiest Man on Television" with a whopping 54% of votes. He beat out the likes of Luke Perry, John Corbett, A. Martinez, and even Burt Reynolds (with a total of 20 contenders).

The middle-aged bald guy in the syndicated sci-fi show beat out the hottest of the Hot Guys™️ and it wasn't even remotely close.

^ Bald joke

I know these people are incapable of feeling guilt or empathy most of the time, but I'm going to tell every one of them my mother died and it sucked. I don't care.

[start post description:

a digital comic featuring two pokemon, a glaceon and a duraludon.

comic novelization:

"Hey," mutters a glaceon with half-lidded eyes, ears droopy beneath a baseball cap. "im Glaceon, or Ace," he says, twirling the strings of his hoodie. Glaceon turns and whips his tail. " - and I'm gonna get one thing outta the way." Icicles sparkle and grow in frosty cracks around him.

"yo, Ace?" A duraludon rubs his head, looking at Glaceon with concern. "you makin icicles. wuz tryina make sure u good?"

Glaceon turns and huffs a cloud of frost. "it's fine, Alu. I like icicles."

Duraludon happily throws his head back. "yooo me too!"

Glaceon turns back to the viewer, ears swaying as he removes his hat and holds it against his chest. "so i don't have a 'typical' appearance..." he says, almost boredly. "i have a few diagnoses. among them: ^~* glaceon icthyosis *~^" Glaceon's smooth head glimmers as he perches his chin on his paw. "icthyosis is one reason why i have a bare head and no crest" Glaceon poses, showing off his look. "another reason is that i look way too good [like this!]" end comic novelization -

[start post description:

a collage of my 5 colorful duraludon week drawings, descriptions included in each og post:

one

two

three

four

five

[start post description:

a digital drawing of the pokemon, duraludon and cetoddle. Duraludon is on all fours with mouth open energetically. Cedoddle is on his back with arms up in the air and smiling wide. There are bright star shapes and sparkles around them.