Lau

Leaf-bladed swords are a very popular fantasy style and were real, though unlike modern hand-and-a-half longsword versions, the real things were mostly if not always shortswords.

Here are Celtic bronze swords…

…Ancient Greek Xiphoi…

… and a Roman “Mainz-pattern” gladius…

Saw or downright jagged edges, either full-length or as small sections (often where they serve no discernible purpose) are a frequent part of fantasy blades, especially at the more, er, imaginatively unrestrained end of the market.

Real swords also had saw edges, such as these two 19th century shortswords, but not to make them cool or interesting. They’re weapons if necessary…

…but since they were carried by Pioneer Corps who needed them for cutting branches and other construction-type tasks, their principal use was as brush cutters and saws.

This dussack (cutlass) in the Wallace Collection is also a fighting weapon, like the one beside it…

…but may also have had the secondary function of being a saw.

A couple of internet captions say it’s for “cutting ropes” which makes sense - heavy ropes and hawsers on board a ship were so soaked with tar that they were often more like lengths of wood, and a Hollywood-style slice from the Hero’s rapier (!!) wouldn’t be anything like enough to sever them. However swords like this are extremely rare, which suggests they didn’t work as well as intended for any purpose.

I photographed these in Basel, Switzerland, about 20 years ago. Look at the one on the bottom (I prefer the basket-hilt schiavona in the middle).

A lot of “flamberge” (wavy-edge) swords actually started out with conventional blades which then had the edges ground to shape - the dussack, that Basel broadsword and this Zweihander were all made that way.

The giveaway is the centreline: if it’s straight, the entire blade probably started out straight.

Increased use of water power for bellows, hammers and of course grinders made shaping blades easier than when it had to be done by hand. This flamberge Zweihander, however, was forged that way.

Again, the clue is the centre-line.

Incidentally those Parierhaken (parrying hooks - a secondary crossguard) are among the only real-life examples of another common fantasy feature - hooks and spikes sticking out from the blade.

Here are some rapiers and a couple of daggers showing the same difference between forged to shape and ground to shape. The top and bottom rapiers in the first picture started as straights, and only the middle rapier came from the forge with a flamberge blade.

There’s no doubt about this one either.

The reason - though that was a part of it - wasn’t just to look cool and show off what the owner could afford (any and all extra or unusual work added to the price) but may actually have had a function: a parry would have been juddery and unsettling for someone not used to it, and any advantage is worth having.

However, like the saw-edged dussack, flamberge blades are unusual - which suggests the advantage wasn’t that much of an advantage after all.

Here’s a Circassian kindjal, forged wiggly…

…and an Italian parrying dagger forged straight then ground wiggly…

There were also parrying daggers with another fantasy-blade feature, deep notches and serrations which in fantasy versions often resemble fangs or thorns.

These more practical historical versions are usually called “sword-breakers” but I prefer “sword-catcher”, since a steel blade isn’t that easy to break. Taking the opponent’s blade out of play for just long enough to nail him works fine.

NB - the curvature on the top one in this next image is AFAIK because of the book-page it was copied from, not the blade itself.

The missing tooth on that second dagger, and the crack halfway down this next one’s blade, shows what happens when design features cause weak spots.

So there you go: a quick overview of fantasy sword features in real life.

Here’s a real-life weapon that looks like it belongs in a fantasy story or film - and this doesn’t even have an odd-shaped blade…

Just a very flexible one…

If you want more odd blades, Moghul India is a good place to start…

Tampa Bay Lightening:

The best team in the nhl. Bro there so fucking good I kinda just expect them to win whenever I see them play. Idk much about them except for the fact that they’re just really fucking good. Overall will probably win the Stanley Cup.

Boston Bruins

Brad Marchand is a rat boi people love to hate ( especially Torey Krug ) & brad loves to lick people who hate him ? Zdeno Chara is the dad, Bergeron is Jesus reincarnated who’s to pretty for his own good and is generally well liked despite being Marchy’s husband, Rask looks like a murderer and I love him.

Toronto Maple Leafs:

Children playing hockey under the supervision of Patrick Marleau. Auston Matthews hit people with the four and all of Toronto had an orgasm, Mitch Marner is a fucking angel that I would die for, Nylander is a Swede™️, John Tavares has seen some shit, and Mo Rielly likes junk food as much as me.

Montreal Canadians:

Carey Price is the wall. I think there used to be a thing surrounding the Gally’s before one of them was traded? I have such a fucking crush on Jesperi Kotkaniemi omfg his sMiLe!!

Florida Panthers:

The team that got me into hockey, did they used to be good when they had Jagr on their team? Idk honestly, why does florida have two hockey teams when it’s literally never as cold outside as it is in the rink?

Buffalo Sabres:

The Hockey Gods like to fuck with Jack Eichel. Jeff Skinner is an absolute delight and I want to poke his dimple. Will Alex Nylander ever not be compared to his brother, the world may never know.

Detroit Red Wings:

I get them confused with the Devils sometimes sooo don’t quote me on any of this. Dylan Larkin is a good boy out here trying to play hockey. They’ve only had Bowey for a few weeks but I miss him.

Ottowa Senators:

Big oof energy. Traded their good players? Anders Nilsson is an absolutely wonderful man who won hetero of the year. The Tkachuk family could fill up half the seats at a game. Have a lot of good high future draft picks but not a very good current team.

( I totally didn’t include Columbus Blue Jackets in my Metro division post to be funny and definitely not because I genuinely forgot they existed so just bare with me im a disaster. )

Columbus Blue Jackets:

AND THEN THERE’S THIS ONE