Surviving the Apocalypse

You are 61% water, so there are few things more important than finding more.  Simply put you survive by a law of Threes:

You can survive 3 minute without air (luckily it’s plentiful). You can survive 3 hours without shelter in extreme environments (This is an important one in the wasteland). You can survive 3 days without water (it’s also nearly impossible to find it clean now). You can survive 3 weeks without food (if you make it 3 weeks you’re already lucky).

In most situations clean water is going to be the hardest to find. With the destruction of civilization water treatment plants are gone or non-functional; and most people aren't as well prepared for this as you. They’ll still feel the need to wash themselves in the rivers they drink from. Along with their ball sweat that river will be a soup of radioactive fallout, rotting zombie bodies, alien elements, and feces borne pathogens.

Needless to say it’s a good idea to find alternative sources of water, hopefully un-used and untainted by others. Watch out for surface runoff or anything that contains exposed runoff.  Radioactive fallout will be washed and concentrated in these areas. Morning dew from the leaf of a plant would be nice but everything is a hellish dry wasteland and all the plants are stunted and dying.

Best place to get water is anything that was sealed up or stored underground. Water passing underground is naturally filtered and as long as it has been underground for more than 500ft and isn't drainage from a mass-grave or zombie filled city. Underground aquifers should be pretty well protected, the bombs may have vaporized surface water into the upper atmosphere but just a few feet down water would be protected. Aquifers are usually 20-50ft down and will be protected by that much soil above it, keeping out radioactivity at least long enough until runoff filters down to that level (let your kids worry about that). The main thing would be to keep the well clean; try to hide it, and give the water to people who need it rather than let it be self serve. Last thing you need is somebody falling in and contaminating your only water with a corpse or zombie infection.

If digging a 40ft well isn't feasible and you're in an area free of radioactive fallout and contamination then your outlook is much better.  Your main contention will be with tiny bacteria that will give you "Montezuma's Revenge".  A deadly curse spread to all water bodies on earth by pre-apocalypse people urinating and defecating within 200ft of water.

But there is an amazingly easy way to purify this water with simple,easy to find resources called a Slow Sand Filter.  All you need is:

A watertight cylinder, ideally a large bucket or barrel. A length of pipe you can route from the bottom of the barrel to 2/3s up the it's side. Pea Gravel Sand First attach the hose to the side of the barrel as close to the bottom as possible. Route it up the side so the end of the hose some 1/2 to 2/3s up the side of the barrel and curve it over so the mouth is facing down. Rinse the gravel with clean water and sort the gravel into a pile of largest gravel and one of smallest gravel. Rinse the sand as well Put the large gravel in the bucket first, then the smaller gravel, then the sand. Make sure the sand only comes up to 3in below the bottom of the bend in the hose.  When filled the water line should stay 3in above the sand. Carefully fill the filter with water, making sure not to disturb the sand and muck on top.  As the filter fills water will trickle out the hose mouth without needing a pump.  You have to initially cycle the water in the filter for a few days before the water is safe to drink.  The organic growing muck on the top of the sand is actually killing the bacteria and needs to be kept moist and alive.

It’s the first few hours of the Apocalypse. Things are going downhill fast and you need to get out now! You grab your Bug out Bag but have you prepared your exit route?

Know your exits from the neighborhood, block, borough, and city. Know alternates just in case the exits are blocked. Things are stressful during rush hour, now triple the cars and add accidents every 200ft. Can you still get out?

Do you want to use roads? Are you in an area where it might be better to go cross country? Cutting across a median, or a neighbors yard shouldn't be too tough. But a farmers field surrounded by a 4 ft ditch may pose more issues. And a simple chain link fence and be the net that ends your trip real quick.

Don’t follow the pack, try to get some safe room between you and the masses. You don’t want to be caught up in a panic. Gridlock of this size will stop people for days not hours. And when the panic sets in people may start to outright plow through traffic. All of this will lead to more disable car crashes and obstacles slowing everybody down.

Watch out and plan for bottlenecks. Rivers, water, and mountains are major obstacles but a simple embankment can block a car. Perhaps your city has a raised freeway belt route? That 2 story high mound of dirt is going to make it hard to get past. Not to mention the barbed wire fence on each side, and the concrete divider down the middle of the freeway. You gun it anyway and as you wreck your car into the barrier you are comforted in the knowledge that due to the fact you popped all 4 tires on barbed wire you wouldn't have gotten much further anyway.

Don't stop when you get to the outskirts of the crowd, especially if you were lucky enough to be in front. The oncoming masses slowly lumbering your way will surround you again. Keep going until you're well away from civilization, plan on traveling for days. If things improve and you can go home, a few days trip is a small price to pay for safety.

This is another situation where a simple bike can give you the mobility you need to get out. Pro-tip: Throw your bike on the top of your car. Drive as far as possible, pull over, then bike the rest of the way out.

You may be hoarding all kinds of weapons and ammo, and that new RPG you found is just itching for a test shot. But when you get a flat on your armored Humvee the thing you'll wish you had most is a tire iron (How ironic that you even have the spare tire full of air that you can't put on).

Talk about deep philosophical conundrums: It's bleaker than you thought after the bomb. Your supplies are running low. Your family is going hungry. The question is are you willing to kill the family down the street to steal their food and feed your family? Well they're asking themselves the same question... And the answer is yes. Your job is to make sure you get them first.

Well look at you!

The nuclear apocalypse is raging around you but you were smart enough to make an Emergency Kit before it started! You have a packet of matches, a rape whistle, a compass, needle and thread, a razor blade, and all of it fits in a cute waterproof bag. But do you know how to use any of it?

A compass is helpful but do you know how to reverse triangulate your location on a map? Can you start a fire with a match and NO lighter fluid? Have you ever even sewn a button on a shirt? Do you know what knots don’t come loose on clothing?

Remember the one thing more important than the emergency kit is knowing how to use the items in the emergency kit.

Power will be non-existent, batteries hard to find, and don't think about looking for a phone signal. But if you do find batteries keep in mind that range for a radio is limited but can be boosted by getting to high ground with clear line of sight to the receiver. Also don't bother using it if you're holed up underground, range will only be a tiny bit better than a loud shout.

If you’re cruising down the abandoned freeways and see some raiders or zombies on foot in the road. Don’t run them over. There is nothing to gain, and their lumpy bodies could damage the vehicle. All you need is a dead raider smashing your radiator and immobilizing your V8 Pursuit Special with his angry buddies hot on your heels. Cars give you 2 things, speed and distance, use both while you can because it won't last forever.

Ok, so you wake up in a hospital alone. The hospital is empty and abandoned, same with city around you. You're not sure how you got there but its obvious something happened while you were unconscious. Assume the worst, be on your toes; they don't abandon cities just for a prank. If you see a huddle of people feasting on the raw remains of a corpse or dead animal, don't walk up to introduce yourself or ask what's going on. Just run, you can figure out what happened when you're safe.

Pre-event knowledge will be highly prized, children are ignorant and of little use. While it may seem heartless their eventual deaths are guaranteed unless you can rebuild a world they can survive in Post- event children should be feared and respected, the cutthroat skills they have developed to survive make them excellent front-line soldiers.

Either the aliens or zombies are coming and the Military is heading to face them off. If you're feeling especially brave you may have the urge to charge in the same direction. Fight that urge.

They're trained to fight as a unit and they do best without untrained noobs in camo getting in their way. Believe me there will be opportunities to help out, but do so when asked, don't jump in front of a tank thinking you're part of the solution.

So you want to bunker down and wait for things to settle down? Problem is the construction materials for making a bunker with 3ft thick concrete walls are mostly gone. Parking garages make good solid bunker/shelters, find a sheltered corner and reinforce two more walls to create a living area. The concrete walls of the parking garage should provide good cover from most weapons found in the wastes (and weather). Avoid underground parking and subway tunnels as they attract mutants, predators, and other undesirables.

Imagine if you could combine the companionship of a pet animal with the gas-less self propelled nature of a bike and you have a horse!

It's no coincidence that humans have been taping the horse and other pack animals since the beginning of civilization. Horses make great transportation and if you hobble them before bed they will just wander around camp “refueling” themselves with the local grass.

They not only increase the distance you can travel per day over open land, but when you camp for the night you are still fully rested to put your full effort into making camp and resting the horses. There are a few lessons to know with pack animals. First is that you're not just along for the ride, since you're not walking your every effort needs to be to assist your transportation to keep it happy and healthy. When you make camp tank care of your animals first, then worry about yourself.

In the event you find yourself under attack horses are usually a dangerous beast to be feared. With melee weapons the high vantage point of a horse gives you a distinct advantage. You can outrun or chase down anybody on foot, and in the broken wasteland you inhabit the horse is actually more nimble and faster than a car or truck. But watchout if the enemy has guns, a dead horse throwing you or rolling on you is a distinct liability.

Bicycles are great when you need to get around without depending on anything else. The only gas they use is you, so as long as you have a good source of food you can make excellent use of the bike. Even if terrain is too rough to ride you can walk and push the bike alongside. Bikes are light enough that they can be tossed over a chain link fence or barbed wire.

Bikes do require work on your part to move so it’s not as easy as just sitting and enjoying the ride like a horse or car (see Tips #40 and #15 respectively). But the exercise will keep you in good health especially if you enjoyed a more lethargic Pre-Apocalypse lifestyle. Remember that in the new world there are the weak and the dead!

Bikes are easily maintained and can carry additional loads rather than using your back. But make sure to stock additional items to keep the bike in good health, especially oil, rubber tires, and cleaning tools.

Living underground is a good thing. Besides shelter from the elements the ground provides steady above freezing temperatures, from 48-65F degrees. But beware of wild animals, have a good method to keep baddies out. On the plus side you may score a nicely fattened bear to eat just before winter.

In an apocalyptic wasteland where animals run free it’s good to be able to walk like an animal and talk like an animal.

As man became more civilized he domesticated wolves to assist in hunting for food. Now that we’ve been knocked back to the stone ages it’s a good habit to get back into. Hunting dogs are great for scaring out game, wearing out fast animals, and protecting you or your enclave from hostile animals and people.

Not a cat person before "The Event"? Try reconsidering. Those needle sharp teeth and razor claws are great for keeping pests like plague carrying mice and rats away from you. And like dogs they’re usually happy with the scraps left over from your dinner. Over the millenia of domestication household pets became accustomed to eating human table scraps. It may not be Iams but a domestic animal will do well eating your leftovers instead of fending for themselves in the wasteland.