i believe in dina supremacy

*freeze frame* yeeep thats me. im a chronomancer. time is stopped yuup and its all me baby

Dealing with burnout is sooooooooooooooo easy all you need to do is operate at 40% indefinitely and be kind of mad at yourself the whole time.

God put me on this earth to not date anybody

No one tells you that one day you will get older and look around and notice that 95% of ppl who own a dog should not own a dog

Can i say something problematique for terminally online millenials and people born after that point: I think the seeming lack of ability or willingness to call one another and chat on the phone with friends unprompted or out of the blue contributes to whatever hellish loneliness everyone is talking about feeling these days. Say what you want about boomers and old people but those guys mostly knew how to keep in touch with each other. Idk man call a bitch today

i am a simple man. I see a creature. I walk over and pet the creature. This is what life is all about baby

Having to clean the shower is so fucking annoying. It’s clean in there. That’s where I go to get clean. It’s clean dude trust me. Stop fucking growing bacteria and stuff man this is the clean locale. You’re embarrassing me in front of the sink

dads will be like i have to watch the loudest video alive

we cant be meant to live like this why does everyone live like this!!!!!!! (opens tinder) (hates tinder) (opens tinder) (signs a lease) (sits alone) (exchanges instagrams) (never talks to them again) (feels weird about texting people inviting them to hang out) (feels weird about texting) (feels like if i deleted social media i would stop existing) (doesn’t use social media) (continues to exist) (continues to sit alone) (buys food at the grocery store for one) (food goes bad) (doesn’t talk to strangers) (doesn’t hold hands) (food goes bad) (food goes bad) (food goes bad) (food goes bad) (food goes bad) (food goes

“i can’t do this anymore” says a girl who is not only going to do it but do it well

One time I was explaining to my dad how unfair it is that every big city has at least a couple gay bars but there are only like 20ish lesbian bars left in the country and he responded with "That's cause gay men have a good party culture. Lesbians don't have time to party, they're too busy debating the sociological implications of things and studying for postgrad degrees" and as much as I wanted to tell him he was out of line for that, as a lesbian who spends all her free time on Tumblr debating sociological implications and messaging other lesbians in discord servers where everyone has a PhD or masters for some reason I felt like I might not be the best person to make that argument