Aphotic Eniola

my little one probably can’t tell you who lumumba and sankara and hooks and X and dunham are probably can’t tell you what feminism and racism and capitalism is probably can’t tell you when we were taken, beaten, set free, redlined, or choked to death she’s never gone to any protests with me she’s only just now understanding she fits into this category - african american but she doesn’t really understand it those things she doesn’t really know yet but what she knows is how my chest feels when i hug her waking up to tickles and forehead kisses what it feels like to not simply be tolerated, but deeply loved,  embraced, celebrated, cared for, nurtured, admired by her mother

1. the food i might be some flack for this. but, i’m a vegan and it was difficult for me to find food. i was expecting a plethora of fresh fruits and veggies that i would get to dive into...a bunch of different beans and tubers and whatnot. but i didn’t realize that things go with the season - which makes sense and is much more environmentally friendly than having everything available all year-round. also, i’ve tasted a variety of different soups from Nigeria, but it turns out most of them that i have tasted are not usually eaten in Yorubaland - they’re more Igbo/southern Nigerian soups. so the only thing i could get at most restaurants was egusi. it was difficult for me to find akara on the streets. i ended up eating meatless egusi, ewa (beans), stew, indomie (ramen), puff puff, jollof, and boiled eggs (i do eggs when necessary) for almost the whole time i was there. i’ve had enough jollof to last me the rest of my life.  2. Nigerian men so. i have a love/hate relationship with Nigerian men. my daughter’s father was enough of a representation, but i see he isn’t all that unique. married men were BOLD. like...bold. but i will say that African American men better step their fuckin games up. Nigerian men know how to compliment, court, date, and will marry you in 6 months. all while having their wife’s picture as their WhatsApp photo lol. like i said...BOLD.  3. the customer service (or lack thereof) It was very difficult for me to get used to the way that service-oriented jobs treat their customers. the rudeness, the incessant negative attitudes was a lot. being rude to customers almost seemed like it was a part of the job description. and after having been there a month and a half, i was ready to throw hands with like 3 different people at the airport on the way back. when you go to the schools, and to the hospital, and getting transportation, and at the airport, and at the library, and at the restaurants and the workers are just rude for no reason...it’s frustrating. i met some Nigerians who were saying that they try to “take breaks” from Nigeria every few years or so. and having to deal with that everyday, i can understand. asking for money for doing jobs they’re already getting paid for is also very weird for me. a security woman at the airport let me through security after seeing i had nothing of concern and then said “now what do you have for me?” i was so confused. i get it on some level - the economic situation is rough. but it’s still weird for me to experience.  4. spirituality i’ll probably need a whole separate post to articulate this. but  2 things...1) i stepped into a pile of juju while i was there and it’s made me weary of going back (going back is definitely happening, but it’ll have to be in different circumstances). 2) the Ifa/Orisha practitioners are marginalized in such a way that is upsetting. in the home of the Yoruba, the birthplace of the Ifa/Orisha tradition...a religious tradition that has expanded to all over the globe...the religion isn’t shown a fraction of the respect it should be and that’s upsetting.  5. African American identity/heritage so this might also be a separate post as well. but...i don’t think many Nigerians know about the history of African Americans or other diasporic people. i was asked if i knew my heritage (on several occasions because folks assumed i was Brazilian...not really sure why) when i said it’s African American...and West African by extension...they asked for (ethnic) specifics. i said i don’t have specifics...because slave traders didn’t keep records like that. one man said “well, Obama knows where he’s from. you just have to do more research”. i know that “African American History” isn’t a topic of discussion very often in Nigeria (hell, it’s really not even one amongst African Americans), but i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t a little disappointed. millions of people are taken in droves for centuries, and it isn’t a common discussion of what happened to them and where they ended up? i don’t expect most Black people to know all about that because its a lot...but being TOTALLY ignorant to the history is a bit dispiriting.  overall, my trip was great. i was there for research and didn’t do much of it. but it was still a good trip. 

there’s an elder priestess of Shango that i know who lives in new york city. whenever she’s in the south, she says that Oya greets her in the form of a thunderstorm. a heavy, near torrential rain accompanied by thunder always comes within a week of her touching down in the bushy, rural parts of the south where she find herself from time to time. she welcomes this greeting by dancing naked outside while yelling Oya and Shango’s praises. it’s a cleansing of sorts. one time, she was seen by a neighbor who she apologized profusely to. a plump woman in her 70′s - she’s embarrassed, but only a little. she tells me -  “i gotta make sure no one’s around next time”. 

hey...not sure what post you're talking about. maybe you can send me another message about the title of the post?