hold me ♡ kiss me

It’s late, way past midnight when Sanghyuk trudges into the living room of their dorm, looking to get himself a glass of water from the kitchen. He’s been a little edgy over the past couple of weeks. They were all tired, working for yet another comeback so soon after the other, but Sanghyuk’s restlessness comes from something entirely else.

It’s foreign, the way his heart jumped in his chest when they got introduced to the lacey blindfolds intended to start their stage, and for a second he felt something stir in his stomach. When his fingers touched the material of the cloth softly, it only became worse, his heart beating hard and fast in his chest.

Practicing with it was bearable, mostly because they were only wearing it for a most of thirty seconds before discarding it. But when his eyes landed on Jaehwan, the sight of the black lace raking around and obstructing his features, his mind completely blanked out.

It was like a kick to the gut, only that it wasn’t painful more than utterly driving him crazy and up the wall with a sudden burst of want. He’s felt this way before; he feels it every time he looks at Jaehwan in fact, every single time their skin touches and their eyes meet. Only this time, it’s a little different. It’s as if a darker, stronger need for Jaehwan suddenly erupted; Sanghyuk wanted to take control, wanted to make Jaehwan keep wearing the lace while he touched every little expanse of his body, making him cry out Sanghyuk’s name, over and over.

They hadn’t had much time for themselves in the past few weeks, days so long they barely had a chance to sleep, and to be fair, Sanghyuk was starving for every little touch, every little kiss. The sudden slap in the face of what he can only categorize as one of his kinks is enough to make him dizzy just by thinking about it, his body fully focused on every little detail of it. But Sanghyuk is a professional, and for as hard as it was, he’s succeeded in keeping the thoughts at bay during practice, keeping his distance just enough so he doesn’t suddenly cave in.

Tonight Sanghyuk feels tired, but his body is too wound up to let him sleep -- the thoughts of Jaehwan run through his head like wildfire at hours like these, deep in the night and yet not late enough to call it morning. He makes his way to the kitchen, gulping down a glass of water to ease his burning throat, and when he’s done, he fully intends to just go back through the living room and into the confinements of his bed.

Only when Sanghyuk turns the corner of the kitchen, he’s stopped dead in his tracks by the sight unraveling before him.

He must have been too focused on the way to the kitchen to notice the figure practicing in the living room, only a small, dim light giving it enough illumination to make out the contours of the body. Sanghyuk can immediately discern Jaehwan’s movements even in the grey half shadows of the night, and he realizes that he must have come out to practice in front of the windows, giving him enough of a reflection to monitor himself.

It’s late, and Sanghyuk is suddenly painfully aware that they are on their own for once; the need to go over and wrap his arms around Jaehwan’s body is pulsing heavily through his veins. But Sanghyuk doesn’t want to interfere, doesn’t want to bother Jaehwan while he’s clearly focused on something else, no matter how tempted he is.

That is, until Jaehwan turns around, noticing Sanghyuk’s presence, and all the air is knocked out of Sanghyuk’s lungs at the sight of the dark, studded cloth covering his eyes and shining in the little light of the room.

It leaves Sanghyuk breathless, a burning heat churning in his abdomen at the sight. He can tell Jaehwan knows exactly what he feels, from the way his body moves closer to him very slowly, from the little tug of a smirk along his lips. Sanghyuk tells himself he can see a mischievous twinkle in Jaehwan’s eyes in between the pattern of the lace, and it dawns on him that he’s been set up.

Suddenly he’s out of control, and it’s not his mind that’s moving Sanghyuk’s body as he takes a step forward towards Jaehwan. His irises blown dark and focused, his fingers wrapping themselves around Jaehwan’s wrist, pulling him into the privacy of Sanghyuk’s room. It’s all raw want and instinct taking over, making him move, and it’s only once the door closes behind them that Sanghyuk turns around to fully trail his eyes over Jaehwan, their bodies almost touching with how close they are standing.

The lace covers Jaehwan’s eyes so prettily it makes Sanghyuk’s heart beat against his ribcage, makes him feel like a hand is clenching tight around it -- no one should be this beautiful, Sanghyuk thinks. Jaehwan’s eyes are open under the dark cloth, the shadows dancing across his face just enough for his eyes to give Sanghyuk a hint of a twinkle while he’s waiting for Sanghyuk’s next move. He’s quiet, and Sanghyuk takes this as a sign to take control, to set the pace and turn his attention fully on Jaehwan. One of Sanghyuk’s hands comes up to tangle itself in Jaehwan’s hair, feeling the soft strands against his fingertips, and it’s enough to make his heart almost jump out of his chest, his blood rushing through his veins.

Sanghyuk’s fingers trace down from Jaehwan’s hair and over the back of his neck, a touch so fleeting it leaves goosebumps on Jaehwan’s skin. Jaehwan can feel the adrenaline rushing through his veins at the mere touch, can tell all his nerves are tingling in his body, and he’s already on edge, waiting for more while relishing the slow pace. He feels like he’s so out of place, standing in the middle of the room waiting only for Sanghyuk’s fancy, and yet he feels like it’s exactly where he belongs. It’s like he’s trapped in time and space, every feeling amplifying in the tension filling every inch of air around them.

It only takes a second, one little spark in that suffocating tension to ignite whatever is between them, and suddenly Sanghyuk’s hand grasps Jaehwan’s neck tight, pulling him closer, sealing their lips together in a bruising kiss. The touch makes a moan slip past Jaehwan’s mouth into Sanghyuk’s, swallowed immediately as their kiss deepens, hot and messy and dizzying. Jaehwan’s fingers yearn to touch, but he knows he’s in no place to initiate contact. Sanghyuk has him in the palm of his hand, just like he wanted it to be, and it feels absolutely intoxicating.

Sanghyuk’s hands move from the back of Jaehwan’s neck, gliding over his shirt with silky touch, down until they bury themselves into the line just below his butt. Suddenly Jaehwan is lifted up on Sanghyuk’s hands, wrapping his legs around Sanghyuk’s middle for support, hands burying themselves in Sanghyuk’s hair for more balance. The feeling is making them both sigh, both of them starved for contact over the past couple of weeks. They’re so close that they can feel their forming erections brush against each other through their clothes, can feel each breath and each quiver on the other’s body. The electrifying tension is still there, only now it’s tangible, heavy enough to grasp in their fingers, and Sanghyuk can’t help but feel dizzy with the thought of Jaehwan lying underneath him, writhing at his touch, the black lace covering his pretty eyes a perfect contrast against his light skin.

The anticipation almost gets too much, and without any warning Jaehwan is thrown onto Sanghyuk’s bed with a little squeal. His mouth goes instantly dry at the look in Sanghyuk’s eyes, though, and if Jaehwan couldn’t imagine how the younger looked when he turned serious and dominant before, he can now, Sanghyuk’s dark irises looking at him with such intensity Jaehwan is absolutely frozen in spot. A shiver runs down his spine, the feeling both sobering him up and making him drunk on the mood, the thought of things to come flashing behind his eyes. It’s enough to make his hands grip the sheets under him to steady himself, his heart racing in his chest. He has never seen the youngest quite this self-assured and sexy, tapping into something Jaehwan is sure he doesn’t let out much, hasn’t even shown Jaehwan in the past couple of months of their relationship. It’s exciting, this new side of him, and Jaehwan’s heart is beating against his chest a hundred miles per hour, waiting for more.

“Jaehwan-ah,” Sanghyuk says, and there are no formalities, voice low and dripping with want. It makes Jaehwan look up, makes their eyes meet, the whole world completely forgotten. Sanghyuk doesn’t press on, doesn’t say anything else, but he doesn’t need to as his fingers come up to slowly unbutton Jaehwan’s shirt with steady fingers. It’s unfair, Jaehwan thinks as he takes a deep breath, how calm Sanghyuk is, how controlled he seems to be on the outside. Jaehwan feels like he’s about to explode from their mere interactions, like the tension in the air is enough to make him come undone. He whines, a small pleading sound that resonates in between them, wrapping the two of them in their own little bubble.

The sound doesn’t seem to phase Sanghyuk as he works Jaehwan’s clothes off of his body carefully. Once Jaehwan is completely stripped down, he holds his breath as he admires the sight before him, tongue coming out to lick his lips. Jaehwan’s skin shines under the covered light of the bed lamp, his cock fully erect and just waiting to be touched. His lips are red and kiss-swollen, and the lace over his eyes makes him look delicate and beautiful, adorning his face in such a way that Sanghyuk groans at the sight. Sanghyuk can’t take his eyes away, and all the things he wants to do flash through his mind in a scatter of vivid images, too fast to hold on to. His heart is still hammering against his chest, and he can taste the want on his tongue, sweet and thick. But he needs to savour this, needs to move slow, needs to taste every inch of Jaehwan’s body before he can fully take all of him.

Sanghyuk strips slowly, eyes barely ever leaving Jaehwan’s own through the cloth. Jaehwan’s breathing is already shallow, his everything focused on Sanghyuk. His breath hitches when Sanghyuk’s fingers undo his belt and trousers, every expanse of skin slowly being uncovered making his erection that much harder, his want to have Sanghyuk close so much stronger.

It feels like an eternity when Sanghyuk finally discards his last piece of clothing, kicking his underwear carelessly in a corner of the room to be forgotten. He nears Jaehwan slowly, as if he has to make sure he won’t run away or evaporate in front of him. Yet the intensity in his aura hasn’t changed, still as burning hot as it was before, and Jaehwan is sure he’s going to melt with every single touch. When he finally reaches the bed and lowers himself unto it, towering over Jaehwan, it’s like a spell suddenly breaks between them. Jaehwan shudders, licking his lips, and for a moment he considers pulling Sanghyuk to him, holding him as close as he needs him to be.

Before Jaehwan can move though, Sanghyuk’s hands are back on him, the heat of their skin on his leaving burning paths in their wake. Sanghyuk’s fingers hook themselves under Jaehwan’s knees, pulling him down under him with one smooth, gentle motion. Jaehwan can feel Sanghyuk’s breath on his skin, and it’s enough to make his head dizzy and his mind swim with lust.

Sanghyuk lowers his mouth onto the skin under Jaehwan’s collarbone, lips brushing against the skin softly. The touch is enough to make Jaehwan cry out after all the pent up anticipation, and his cheeks color pink at his reaction, feeling embarrassed and exposed. Sanghyuk doesn’t stop there, completely unconcerned by Jaehwan’s noises, only fuelling him further.

His lips trace a path down Jaehwan’s body slowly, nibbling at his pecs, his tongue circling itself around one of his nipples. Kisses trace down Jaehwan’s abdomen and his stomach, move to the joint at his hips, teeth biting down on the skin of his hipbone. Sanghyuk doesn’t leave even one inch of his skin untouched, and Jaehwan can do nothing but moan and whine with every new sensation, with every little flick of tongue against his body. He feels like he’s floating, like his body has lost all sense of gravity just by Sanghyuk’s loving and attention to every part of him.

Sanghyuk’s eyes flicker up to meet Jaehwan’s through the black lace, and Jaehwan can see the lust in them. It makes him tremble, and he wants more, so much more.

“Ah,” he breathes when Sanghyuk’s lips brush against that one spot just above his hipbone. The feeling leaves a tingling sensation unlike the others, and Jaehwan wants it, all over again. Sanghyuk complies without a word, his tongue tracing over the spot once more, eliciting a high pitched whine from Jaehwan’s lips, his back arching up from the sheets.

Suddenly, Sanghyuk moves up, his face mere inches from Jaehwan’s own. It feels new, it feels different than before. Maybe it’s because Jaehwan has already come undone under Sanghyuk’s touch, because he’s seen stars without Sanghyuk doing anything more than worshipping his body. But when Sanghyuk bends down and presses his lips to Jaehwan’s, it’s like he’s drowned in cold water, unable to breathe.

Sanghyuk’s tongue and lips are soft but demanding, completely taking control over the kiss, relishing the taste of Jaehwan in his mouth. His hands wind up in Jaehwan’s hair, brushing against the cloth of the lace, the material rough and yet even, the silky texture making him shudder, the touch making his breath hitch.

Sanghyuk’s fingers trace down from Jaehwan’s hair, over the lace and down to his chin. With a last kiss to Jaehwan’s lips, Sanghyuk pushes two fingers carefully into his mouth, his eyes even darker than they were before.

“Suck,” he orders, and Jaehwan complies without a second of hesitation. There’s a sudden surge of confidence rising in his chest, and with a thought he smirks around Sanghyuk’s fingers, twirling his tongue around them lusciously, coating them carefully. He can hear Sanghyuk’s breath hitch, can feel Sanghyuk’s other hand digging into the skin of his hip just a little more as his tongue flicks against his fingertips, moving in a circling motion. The look in Sanghyuk’s eyes is worth it, his control slipping for just the fraction of a second. But Jaehwan catches it between the black shadows of the blind fold, and it makes his heart race in his chest.

Sanghyuk’s mouth is on his neck as he trails his hand down and starts to work Jaehwan open, taking his time. Jaehwan shudders at Sanghyuk’s lips leaving traces and marks over his skin. He can feel his teeth branding him, claiming him as his, and it feels amazing paired with the way Sanghyuk’s fingers move inside of him, stretching him open. Jaehwan has long since lost any form of pride, letting his noises spill from his own lips without restraint or hesitation. And Sanghyuk drinks them all up, revels in them, letting them guide his actions as he makes sure to brush past Jaehwan’s prostate with his fingertips just so -- and the hitched whine escaping from Jaehwan’s lips is the best reward.

Jaehwan can feel Sanghyuk’s fingers leave him, can feel the absence of their heat, and for just a moment his nerves set in again. He can feel Sanghyuk’s tip pressing against his entrance, can feel his own erection throbbing with too much stimulation and not enough relief. He’s completely forgotten about it, with the way Sanghyuk is taking care of him, but now his carnal desire inside arises again, and he needs Sanghyuk even more.

“Please,” the word is whispered, breathless and pleading against Sanghyuk’s lips as they come up to brush against Jaehwan’s. There’s a little chuckle escaping them, Sanghyuk’s breath fanning out over Jaehwan’s skin, and it’s enough to drive Jaehwan up the wall.

And then Sanghyuk presses into him, hard and all the way up to the hilt, and Jaehwan’s head snaps back against the pillow underneath him, his eyes clouding in pleasure.

The stretch is prickling pain and tight, white relief, and Jaehwan feels full and just so good. Sanghyuk’s lips suck at his throat as he begins to move slowly, thrusting into him with languid snaps of his hips. Jaehwan moans loudly, and the sound resonates against Sanghyuk’s lips on his neck. He feels like he’s flying again, one of his legs coming up to wind itself around Sanghyuk’s middle just enough so he can push him in deeper, can press him closer, and the sensation of their bodies tangled together makes Jaehwan feel whole.

“Tight,” Sanghyuk mutters as he licks up Jaehwan’s neck and to his ear, nibbling at it where the lace allows him access. It’s electrifying, and the touch makes Jaehwan whine loudly. Sanghyuk’s thrusts turn harder, shorter, making Jaehwan’s body rock with him. Jaehwan’s fingers are clenched tightly into the sheets at his sides, knuckles white from trying to stay in place, take Sanghyuk deeper. Their movements make his hair brush along his pillow, and the lace slips lower from his eyes with each single thrust, until it’s bunched up around Jaehwan’s neck, leaving his eyes free.

Regaining his full sight only enhances Jaehwan’s sensations, the dim light of the room too bright and Sanghyuk’s features above him too crisp to look away. Jaehwan reaches up, cupping Sanghyuk’s face in one of his hands and bringing it down to crash their lips together sensually. The kiss is forceful, on the verge of needy as Sanghyuk’s hips drive themselves deeper, harder into Jaehwan, hitting his sweet spot over and over again. Jaehwan moans into Sanghyuk’s mouth once more, the vibrations only making Sanghyuk kiss him back harder, the movement of their lips raw and unrestrained.

Jaehwan can feel one of Sanghyuk’s hands travel up his body, playing with Jaehwans cock just enough to make him choke into the kiss, the sound almost akin to a sob. Jaehwan is too turned on to take much more, each single one of Sanghyuk’s actions enough to drive him over the edge, making him fly all the way to the moon and back.

But Sanghyuk’s hand doesn’t stop there. It moves up further, his long fingers draping themselves in the bunched up lace around his neck, and before Jaehwan knows it, there’s a pressure on his throat keeping him from drawing deeper breaths. His eyes flutter open, meeting with Sanghyuk’s dark ones, and suddenly his blood is rushing in his veins, his heartbeat picking up in pace.

Sanghyuk’s grip is tight, but it’s just enough to still give Jaehwan just the room to breathe shallowly. He can feel it all, though, the pattern of the lace pressing into his skin, the pressure when his throat expands against the cloth. The lightheadedness when he doesn’t get to breathe fully, his moans turning into breathy, low whines. It elicits something inside of him, some adrenaline rush that he hasn’t felt before, and it’s enough to make him drown in it, to feel absolutely at Sanghyuk’s mercy and getting drunk on the feeling. He can still feel Sanghyuk’s thrusts into him, can still feel the pleasure bundling up in his abdomen, can hear Sanghyuk’s little groans slipping past his lips, and yet they take second place as his mind is completely focused on the lace digging into his throat and Sanghyuk’s eyes staring deep into his, wet bangs falling into them.

Jaehwan’s orgasm comes as a surprise, completely unexpected and strong, and it rages over him in waves of pure pleasure, blinding his sight. He cries out, the feeling so intense he’s left trembling as he basks in it, cock twitching as he empties himself between them. Sanghyuk stops his movements, and Jaehwan can feel him pull out gently, backing away. He tries to open his eyes to watch Sanghyuk with one of his hands on his cock, jerking himself off as he takes in the sight of Jaehwan in front of him.

It doesn’t take long, Sanghyuk’s eyes raking over Jaehwan’s completely blissful expression and his cum covered body, stopping on the lace still tied around Jaehwan’s neck. It still makes Sanghyuk’s blood boil in his veins, and the sight triggers Sanghyuk’s high, coming undone in his own hand with a groan, eyes never leaving Jaehwan.

There’s silence between them for some moments, both of them catching their breaths and rearranging their thoughts.

It’s Jaehwan who reaches out first, fingers wrapping around Sanghyuk’s wrist to pull him in closer, yearning for the warmth of his body. Sanghyuk only complies happily, and his eyes search for Jaehwan’s, only after one last glance at the black cloth of the lace Jaehwan’s fingers are now tugging at.

“You need to take that off,” Sanghyuk groans, feeling the adrenaline wash over his body once more at the thought of the lace digging into Jaehwan’s skin, feeling a familiar and not entirely sated tingling in his abdomen stir up again.

“I’m all up for round two,” Jaehwan says with a raspy voice, clearing his throat as his eyes twinkle at Sanghyuk, “but I need a little break. I’m an old man, remember?” The wink Sanghyuk gets at those words make him think the complete opposite, but he doesn’t dwell on it.

“You don’t look old to me…” Sanghyuk teases, one hand running down Jaehwan’s chest, eyes playful as his hand inches lower. Jaehwan squeals a little when Sanghyuk’s fingers wrap themselves around his still half hard cock, and the overstimulation makes him whine ever so slightly.

“Sanghyuk, n-- not so fast,” Jaehwan stutters, composure cracking up, and it’s with a little chuckle that the younger complies, his hand moving to rest on Jaehwan’s thigh.

Jaehwan knows he’s in for a ride, but he also knows that they’ll most likely get to keep the lace blindfolds once the promotions have ended. He should better prepare himself and buckle up, because something is telling him that, despite all the teasing, Sanghyuk is not going to get tired.

“We’re almost there!” Hakyeon exclaims from the front, and it makes Taekwoon lift his head a little. They’ve been journeying back from their mission for a couple of days now. Taekwoon knows that both of their bodies are more than apt to withstand journeys far longer than the one they’ve been on for the past two weeks, but he can’t help but feel restless with the need of returning to his bed in the guild’s living chambers, and sleep.

“Come on, Taekwoon, don’t be so slow,” Hakyeon chuckles as they wind around the last of the trees growing into a little forest along the path into the mountains.

The sun almost blinds Taekwoon as he blinks a couple of times to adjust to being out in the open again, the shade of the trees having shielded him from the brightness of the day. Bringing one of his hands up to cover his eyes from the rays of the sun, he follows Hakyeon’s outstretched hand, pointed at the town.

It’s always a sight, seeing Brelgar from a couple of miles away — the big four edged square in the centre of the city clearly visible from the slopes of the mountains, carving the town into geometrical shapes with smaller, leaner streets zigzagging in between the living parts of the city. The four main streets, heading north, east, south and west before they meet with the gates of the city’s ramparts are full, Taekwoon can tell even from this distance. It makes him feel awake, and his eyes wander over along the eastern parts of the city, along the houses until they set on the pointy, grand rooftop of the Astra Lumen guild headquarters.

Taekwoon takes a side glance at Hakyeon, who’s watching the city with a longing look in his eyes. He knows Hakyeon always misses home most. It’s not something the mage would ever say out loud, but Taekwoon has been partnering with him for long enough to know. When it comes to Hakyeon, there are some things that he doesn’t needs words for to understand.

“Let’s move,” Taekwoon says with a little jump to his step; he’s excited to set foot into the guild’s headquarters, see everyone again after another successful mission. Maybe he’d even let Sanghyuk talk him into drinking a beer or two — it feels like an eternity since he’s had the time to just relax. He can hear Hakyeon chase after him, shooting him a grin when he falls into step beside him.

It feels good to be back home.

***

“Oi, Taekwoon!” comes the call the moment they walk in through the front doors of the guild. It catches them both off guard, and before Taekwoon knows it all he can see is a ball of black hair obscuring his vision as Sanghyuk ignores all meaning of personal space. Taekwoon catches Hakyeon’s bemused eyes and is fast to push the younger away, despite being happy to see the kid, too. Hugging never really was his style.

“Hey Sanghyuk,” he replies with a little smile, one of his hands coming up to ruffle through the apprentice healer’s hair. He feels a little sorry that he’s been so busy, having to cancel most of their lessons during the past couple of months; but he knows that Sanghyuk has been far from lazing around. There’s always something to do at the guild, and due to Sanghyuk’s tall and strong build as well as his powers, Taekwoon is sure he’s been asked to help out with all different kinds of tasks.

“Don’t I get a hello, too?” Hakyeon pouts, arms crossed over his chest. It makes Taekwoon smile, a small fleeting one that he tries not to show; but Sanghyuk is far less subtle with his words.

“And you are?” Sanghyuk teases, the grin plastered on his face wide and mischievous. Hakyeon fakes a gasp, giving Sanghyuk his best scrunched up and disapproving look.

“You need to learn manners. Has Taekwoon been teaching you so little?” Hakyeon shakes his head in disbelief.

Taekwoon leaves the two of them to their quarrel, walking further down the hall to one of the tables in the adjoint guild tavern. The room is still quite empty as it’s still barely after lunch time. There are a few fellow members scattered around the tables, some of them for a late lunch, others just to chat. Taekwoon usually doesn’t like staying in the common room of the tavern, the noise and the chatter too loud for him. But today, it seems like most of the mages are out on missions, and Taekwoon finds it a lot more comfortable.

“Hey, Taekwoon,” the waitress nods at him with a smile that Taekwoon returns. “Haven’t seen you and Hakyeon around for a while. Had a long trip?”

“Quite,” Taekwoon answers as he walks up to the counter; he’s always liked Eunji. She’s one of the people that he doesn’t feel completely exhausted by, being mostly calm and a very good listener, although when they’re talking, it’s Eunji that talks the most out of the two of them. There isn’t one member of the guild Taekwoon absolutely can’t stand, something that he’s been surprised by a couple of times, but it doesn’t mean that the others can’t be quite tiring.

“Do you want me to fetch you some lunch? I think there are still a couple of servings left,” she offers, and Taekwoon nods with a smile.

“Could you make that two? I’m sure Hakyeon will want some as well.”

“Alright, coming right up!” she says as she disappears into the back of the kitchen.

Taekwoon takes a seat at one of the tables, putting his gear down on the floor next to him. It’s only now that he’s finally sitting down that he feels the soreness of his muscles, and the exhaustion of the trip washing over him. Doing missions with Hakyeon is like nothing Taekwoon had ever imagined it to be. Upon entering Astra Lumen, Taekwoon had heard a lot of gossip about Hakyeon. Both famous and infamous for his magic, there was never a partner that lasted more than two missions. Being an elemental mage in itself is already synonym with being in possession of very high magic, but Hakyeon has more than just that. Taekwoon isn’t sure how many mages can control all four main elements, but in the — maybe — a handful littered all across the empire, Hakyeon is one of the youngest and most promising ones.

Taekwoon has seen the destructive power of Hakyeon’s magic often enough, and it never fails to amaze him how well controlled it is. He’s heard a lot about the problems of controlling the four elements in one magical body — the close tie to the mage’s emotions needing special training to stabilise the connection. It’s one of the reasons why, after joining the guild, it had fallen upon Taekwoon to partner up with Hakyeon; as a strong and earth bound healer, his magic is perfectly fitted to heal Hakyeon and everyone around in the matter of minutes, in case his control over his magic falters.

At the beginning, Taekwoon had felt burdened by the prospect of working together with a powerful mage like Hakyeon. He had only heard about the bad parts, about the number of partners quitting after a month or two and the frustration Hakyeon let out far too often on people that didn’t do anything wrong. But after the first few weeks, Taekwoon had realised just how wrong his assumptions were — and he realised that Hakyeon had been burdened by it all just as much as anybody else. He was only a young man, after all, and Taekwoon understood that his power must have been hard to get accustomed to. In the end, Taekwoon had worried over nothing; the more missions they succeeded in, the clearer it became that their teamwork was unrivalled by any partnership in the guild. It hadn’t taken them long to be able to work together in sync, and Taekwoon’s abilities never failed to save them both whenever Hakyeon performed magic just a little over his control.

Over the past two years, their teamwork hasn’t changed much, Taekwoon thinks. It makes a smile ride up his face as Eunji comes back with two bowls of hot steaming soup, and when he looks up he is startled to find Hakyeon sitting right opposite of him, staring.

“What were you thinking about? You had a stupid grin on your face the whole time.” Hakyeon asks with a twinkle in his eyes, and Taekwoon feels a dust of pink color his cheeks.

“Nothing much,” he replies evasively, picking up his spoon to stir the soup, taking a deep breath to smell the delicious scent. After two weeks of bread and mostly dry, pickled meat, his stomach churned at the taste of the soup. Hakyeon mirrors his movements, not pursuing the teasing further.

“We need to go up to the master’s study after this, hand in our report,” he grimaces, and Taekwoon simply nods. It’s always the most boring part of missions, giving report of any encounters and hurdles along the way of the journey, but Taekwoon has come to accept that everything must be documented, just in case.

“By the way,” Hakyeon starts, looking around them, leaning a little closer to Taekwoon, “have you heard about Lightning Floralis?” he almost whispers, eyebrows creased in the middle of his forehead. The name of their allied guild makes Taekwoon stop in his tracks, the spoonful of soup stopping in the middle of the air.

“No, what’s wrong?” he asks, a little worried. He’s heard about their engagement on the battlefield on the eastern borders, but he didn’t linger much on it as they had to depart for their mission back then. War has always been something that troubles Taekwoon, and he tries not to think about it if he can help it.

“Sanghyuk told me that there were reports of casualties,” Hakyeon says, voice low, as if he doesn’t really want to believe it. “Apparently, the Asgar Kingdom has engaged troops of mercenary mages to fight against our Empire’s guilds.”

The words make Taekwoon raise his eyebrows is shock. It’s not uncommon for mages to offer their services for money, it’s the trade that comes with every mages guild. But fighting a war for money was something most mages didn’t get involved in, not if no written allegiance bound them to that duty. In the Empire, only the top guilds had to sign such contracts, and until now, Astra Lumen had not been revalued due to delay in the procedures, something Taekwoon hoped could be delayed even longer.

“But that’s— how did they even find such a number of uncontracted mages?” Taekwoon replies, confused. He doesn’t really feel like eating anymore, the soup in front of him having lost its taste. Hakyeon shrugs, finishing up his bowl.

“That’s the question, isn’t it?” he says before his eyes wander down to Taekwoon’s serving. “Are you gonna finish that?”

Without a word Taekwoon pushes the bowl to Hakyeon, who gives him a delighted smile. It makes Taekwoon scoff. “Are you ever gonna stop eating?”

Hakyeon gives Taekwoon a scandalised look. “I need to eat to maintain my magical energy. If I don’t it’d dry me up, you know that.” he says, gulping down the remnants of the soup in a couple of spoonfuls.

“If only,” Taekwoon mutters under his breath, pointedly loud enough for Hakyeon to hear.

“Hey!” the elemental mage exclaims, a pout on his lips. “I heard that.”

Hakyeon looks like he’s about to give Taekwoon a piece of his mind when suddenly they’re interrupted by a mage with soft looking eyes and brown, slightly curly hair framing his face. Taekwoon looks up in surprise — he hasn’t seen the older mage for a couple of months now.

“Jinki! I didn’t know you were back in town,” Hakyeon exclaims before Jinki can even open his mouth. The older mage looks a little taken aback, but the soft smile that’s spreading on his lips is warm and nice. Taekwoon looks at him curiously. They weren’t expecting him back from his mission for another three weeks.

“Yeah, well… things got taken care of faster than I expected,” Jinki grins as he leans on their table, eyeing the two of them. “How about your mission? Everything went smoothly?” Hakyeon gives him a grimace at that, sending Taekwoon a teasing look.

“Everything but Taekwoon’s snores in the middle of the night,” Hakyeon chuckles, almost earning himself a punch in the face if his reflexes weren’t so fast. Taekwoon glares at him and at Jinki, who’s laughing wholeheartedly at his side.

“Well, if that was your biggest concern, I’d say you did pretty well,” Jinki smiles, and Taekwoon huffs a little. Of course Hakyeon wouldn’t mention how he had four degree burns on his arms from an overuse of power and the sudden lack of control over his flames; thanks to Taekwoon, you couldn’t tell the scars from his skin, and it’s not something Hakyeon would like to share. But still, saying that things had gone smoothly was a little bit of an overstatement.

“Listen,” Jinki says then, and both Hakyeon and Taekwoon perk up at the low volume his voice suddenly dropped to. “You two need to go up to the master’s office right away. He knows you’re back already, and he asked me to see if I could fetch you before everyone else drags you into some celebration.”

Hakyeon and Taekwoon share a surprised look. It’s not unusual for the master to call in mages, but this shortly after a mission he usually lets them unwind first. Taekwoon can see the worry in the way Hakyeon’s eyebrows are drawing together, and he turns back to look at Jinki with questions in his eyes.

“Is everything alright?” Taekwoon asks, voice as low as Jinki’s to keep prying ears at bay. The look on Jinki’s face seems sullen, and he lets out a sigh.

“Well, nothing’s really bad, not here,” Jinki starts, rubbing one of his hands along his chin. Taekwoon notices that he’s still wearing his armour, and the thought leaves a bitter feeling on his tongue. “But we’ve heard from a couple of sources that Lightning Floralis have been loosing mages at the front, and as allies it leaves us with the pressure to act.” The words hang in silence between them for a while; none of them is quite sure what to say.

“Is that why you’re all geared up?” Hakyeon asks slowly then, and Taekwoon isn’t surprised that he’s noticed Jinki’s attire, too. “Are you going to join their forces in the war?”

Jinki gives them a tired smile, but to Taekwoon it looks a lot more like a defeated grimace. “Partly. I have an intel mission to take care of first, but after that is done I’m expected to join their offensive ranks. Being one of the veteran mages of the guild, the master thought I’d be the most experienced for such a task.”

Taekwoon’s mouth dries up at the thought of someone as gentle as Jinki joining the war in

the east. It feels wrong, but being one of the few healers, he’s seen Jinki in action for a mission or two, and he knows that the master choses wisely. Jinki is not only experienced, but his magnetic magic is a very powerful weapon, especially when it’s as perfected as Jinki’s is. Taekwoon thinks he really wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of one of Jinki’s spells — most of the time, they end up even more ferocious than Hakyeon’s.

“Do you think that’s why he wants to talk to us? To send us there, too?” Hakyeon asks then, eyes worried as he looks at Taekwoon. Jinki shrugs, but the look he gives Hakyeon is not very encouraging.

“I’d be prepared for the worst, if I were you. There aren’t many mages in the empire as powerful as you, Hakyeon. It’s a wonder they haven’t requested you yet.”

Jinki gives them both one last pointed look before he stands straight and leaves with a wave. There’s silence between them, none of them knowing exactly what to say. Taekwoon glances at Hakyeon, and he can see him looking down at the wooden table with  his lower lip worried between his teeth. He almost wants to reach over and hug him, but he keeps the urge to himself.

“Let’s go, then,” Taekwoon says as he stands up, taking both of their now empty bowls to leave them for Eunji on the counter. “No need to mull over something that hasn’t been confirmed yet. And even if you would have to go,” Taekwoon stops for a moment, the thought of Hakyeon having to fight at the front settling in his mind, “even if they’d send you, I’d come with you, okay?” Taekwoon tries to give Hakyeon an uplifting smile, and there’s relief washing over him when Hakyeon returns it.

“With you as my healer I’d probably be dead in a couple of hours,” Hakyeon jokes, but Taekwoon senses that it’s not as light hearted as he usually is. Still, they both know that Hakyeon would trust no one else with his life more than Taekwoon, and it’s enough for Taekwoon to feel just a little better.

***

Upon entering the master’s study, the first thing Taekwoon notices are the deep creases lining their master’s forehead. It makes him look older than right before they left for their mission, and it makes a feeling of worry settle in Taekwoon’s stomach. Taekwoon had tried not to let Jinki’s words sink in too much, but as Hakyeon and him speak their greetings, all he can concentrate on is the tension hanging in the air.

“How was your mission?” their master asks softly, and it sounds tired and heavy. Hakyeon gives Taekwoon a glance before reporting the happenings to him.

“It all went smoothly, sir. We found the bandits before they attacked another town on the northern slopes of the Talar mountains. They were well organized for the size of their group — we suspect that there might be an underground leader rallying the stray bandit groups in the area. We’ve heard there has been another attack further west, too.” Hakyeon says matter of factly. It’s disconcerting news, the Empire having to deal with inside trouble while war is raging on its eastern borders, but Taekwoon notices that their master doesn’t seem to pay much attention to Hakyeon’s words.

“I see. We’ll need to figure out where they’re sent from, and find out the source of their alliance,” their master says with a sigh, but Taekwoon feels that his concern lies somewhere else. His eyes wander to Taekwoon, who keeps his gaze fixed on the older man. “Have their been any disturbances?”

Taekwoon knows the question was coming, but he still doesn’t like hearing it much. It’s been almost a year since Hakyeon’s last big incident of control over his magic, but the master still makes sure Taekwoon doesn’t hide even the smallest of slip ups from him. It makes Taekwoon feel like he’s turning on Hakyeon, albeit he knows it’s not meant to do him any harm; the master has always been very protective of Hakyeon, and Taekwoon knows it’s all a measure of helping him in the long run.

“Only a few burns, sir. His flames’ intensity was a little too strong to cool down fast enough after the attack.” Taekwoon says quietly, and he feels a lump sinking in his chest speaking of Hakyeon as if he wasn’t standing right next to him. “It wasn’t a big issue.”

“That's good to hear,” the master says, and there's a sigh following his words as his eyes settle on the both of them. Hakyeon gives Taekwoon a glance, one that worries Taekwoon as much as the thoughtful and exhausted pair of eyes set upon them.

After a moment passing, at last, their master spoke.

“You've heard of the situation on the borders already, I presume?” The eyes set on the team didn't expect an answer, so much Taekwoon is sure of. But still, he hears Hakyeon’s voice fill the space between them.

“Yes, sir. Jinki filled us in.”

Their master nods, contemplating Hakyeon’s words. There is something about the whole conversation that makes Taekwoon feel uneasiness settle in his stomach.

The master’s next words are plain, and they're something both of them have been expecting.

“We need to act.” Another sigh escapes the elder’s lips, as if the decision is one of the hardest he's had to deal with. “We cannot defy our alliance, no matter if the Council has requested us yet, or not. We have our honor, too.”

Taekwoon nods; an alliance between guilds is not to be taken lightly, even if no alliance with the Empire has been finalized. They have a duty, and yet Taekwoon feels fear settle in his throat.

“I have decided to send a handful of mages in due time,” the master continues, “but they are in acute need of healers.” His eyes land on Taekwoon, as well as Hakyeon’s own, his lips pressed into a thin line. “You know what this means?” their master asks Taekwoon directly.

Taekwoon knows. He realizes he's the only smart choice they have, and it's only logical. If he can keep the most selfdestructive mage in the guild from hurting himself, he can keep anybody away from deadly harm. It doesn't make the task any easier to accept, though.

“I… understand, sir.” Taekwoon says softly, and he can feel Hakyeon's gaze on him from his side. He reaches for his hand, giving it a little squeeze. “When do I leave?”

“Tomorrow at dawn.” There’s a pause, and Taekwoon can feel Hakyeon fidget next to him. The eyes of their master are dark now, as he looks back up at Taekwoon; it makes Taekwoon anxious, because he knows there’s more.

“You won’t be leaving alone,” the master continues, and his fingers interlink in front of his chest -- Hakyeon tenses, and there’s a moment when Taekwoon’s heart soars at the thought of fighting next to Hakyeon again.

“You will be taking Sanghyuk with you.”

Taekwoon’s eyes widen in surprise, and shock, and he feels like his breath is knocked out from his lungs. Sanghyuk? But -- Sanghyuk is just a boy, just barely tapping into his skills as a healer -- surely this is a mistake--

“I’m sorry, sir, but we cannot take Sanghyuk there.” Hakyeon’s voice is trembling with restraint, and Taekwoon looks at his mate, feeling the appreciation seeping through his bones. He’s right. They can’t.

“He’s barely even grasping the arts of healing, and Taekwoon has been on mission too often to be able to build up his powers accordingly--”

Hakyeon stops at the look on their master’s face, feeling the authority he emanates making his mouth run dry. Taekwoon can feel the tension; you’re never supposed to second guess orders given to you. But still, bringing Sanghyuk is foolish. He wouldn’t be of any help, and would only get in Taekwoon’s way.

“I realize that you think he is not up for the task,” their master starts, and Hakyeon’s fingers tighten around Taekwoon’s, so much that he can feel the blood flow get interrupted. “But they did not request for him in terms of his healing ability.”

Taekwoon gasps at the words, and the premonition of something very bad is spreading through his limbs.

“You don’t mean--” he starts, eyes wide and scared. He’s been working for a very long time to keep Sanghyuk from having to delve into his natural magic, going as far as to teach him healing. Thinking about somebody outside of the guild knowing about it scares him, but it unsettles him even more to think somebody would put Sanghyuk in such imminent danger -- to win a war.

“Telepaths are an asset in battle,” the master says with a defeated sigh.

“But-- he’s only a kid! He doesn’t have enough experience, doesn’t have enough energy to survive--” Taekwoon’s tone raises with each single one of his words, the shock of what he’s hearing too much to bear. Now it’s Hakyeon’s turn to squeeze his hand to calm him down, to remind him that it’s not his place. Ironic, Taekwoon thinks, coming from one of the least composed mages in the guild.

Taekwoon’s eyes bore into their master’s, defiance burning in his gaze. The tension feels like it’s amplifying in the room between them, and Taekwoon’s fingers prickle with the temptation to launch forward.

Their master breaks the silence after a moment, trying to gauge Taekwoon’s reaction. “He’s an adult, and old enough to be sent out on mission,” he starts, calmly. “Whatever boy you think he is, it’s not for you to decide on his missions. He’s a mage of the guild, and as much as anybody, he has a duty to fulfil.”

Taekwoon snorts. He knows Sanghyuk isn’t a boy, and he knows he has to start his missions soon enough. But… for his first one to be one of the most dangerous he’s ever going to have to face -- that’s something Taekwoon can’t just take quietly.

“Then let him fulfil his duty elsewhere. Let him have a chance to progress and embrace his powers before anything! Hell, the only thing the boy knows about them is terrifying to him! Why do you think I’ve been teaching him healing, instead of strengthening his telepathy?” Taekwoon tries to keep his voice even, serious, but he can feel the tornado of emotions whirl inside of him. He’s terrified of having to take Sanghyuk with him -- of what it means if he does.

“It’s already settled. You’re still under trainin yourself, and you can’t change the orders anymore, Taekwoon.” The master’s face looks exhausted in the dim light of the window shining through the dusty office room. Taekwoon can tell it’s not only him that the thought doesn’t please; and yet, he cannot understand the decision.

He casts his eyes down, and Hakyeon’s hand on his grounds him enough to keep him standing.

“And Sanghyuk?” Taekwoon can hear Hakyeon ask. “Does he know yet?”

Their master’s voice sounds defeated as he answers, and Taekwoon remembers how much every one of the guild’s members is just as much family to him as they are to Taekwoon; despite that, the anger he feels doesn’t dissipate at the thought.

“I’ve talked to him already. He knows his role, and he agreed to it without any objections.”

“Of course he would,” Taekwoon mutters under his breath, and it earns him a nudge of Hakyeon’s elbow into his side.

“Understood. We will be taking our leave now, sir.” Hakyeon replies, bowing. He waits for Taekwoon to say his goodbyes as well, but Taekwoon turns on his heals without another look back.

“Oh, and Hakyeon?” their masters voice resonates behind them just as they open the door. “Take them to the settlement, safe of harm. Understood?”

Hakyeon’s grip on Taekwoon’s fingers tightens, and Taekwoon can hear the smile in his words when he replies.

“Yes, sir.”

***

“Doesn’t it scare you?” Taekwoon asks hours later, deep in the night when he can’t sleep, the prospect of having to take Sanghyuk keeping him from rest.

For a moment, he doesn’t get an answer, Hakyeon keeping silent until the skin on Taekwoon’s arms seems to tingle with impatience.

“Of course I am scared.” The words are quiet, soft, as if Hakyeon can barely press them out. “But most of all, I am scared because I haven’t been sent to fight with you. You might have to… what if you have to use that?”

The words hit Taekwoon in surprise, because the thought of having to leave Hakyeon was something to utterly foreign to him. The drafting request only includes him and Sanghyuk -- Hakyeon was only to be their guide on the way. The idea unsettles him, but he’s also glad; glad that Hakyeon wouldn’t be in any way close to the dangers of war. Close to him, when he has to do the one thing he’s hoped he’d never have to, again.

“You shouldn’t be,” Taekwoon replies at last, his fingers tracing up Hakyeon’s arm. “I won’t use it unless there is no other way. And you’ll be safe here, and I won’t have to save you, too.”

Hakyeon’s eyebrows furrow, and Taekwoon can tell he’s upset. “I don’t care if I die,” he snorts, as if it isn’t in the least bit frightening. “I just-- can’t imagine being here, constantly scared if you and Sanghyuk will… ever make it back.”

Taekwoon doesn’t know how to answer; they’re both in the same spot, and yet, Taekwoon feels happier if he knows Hakyeon, at least, is safe.

“I already have to take one person I care about to the battlefield,” he whispers, heart clenching in his chest, “I can’t take you, too.”

Hakyeon looks at him, unbelieving. “You’re just going to leave me behind? After all we’ve been through?!” His voice grows louder, pierces through the darkness around them, and Taekwoon flinches at the underlying pain in Hakyeon’s tone.

“I-- I can’t have to see you die.”

Hakyeon’s eyes are on his, the turmoil in them reflecting perfectly in his expression. It pains Taekwoon to see it, see the one person that’s most important to him feel this way. But he also can’t have Hakyeon hurt, can’t have him leading a battle where he’d be one of the biggest targets of enemy attacks.

“If you stay with me, you’ll have to, one day, you know. If it’s sooner or later, it’s something you won’t get around of. But suit yourself. I’m going to bed.”

Taekwoon watches Hakyeon drape the covers over himself, turning away to face the room, away from Taekwoon. It pains to see him upset, but Taekwoon knows that if he’d let him fight, the pain and fear would take over his entire being.

So he lies down, without another word, watching Hakyeon’s back as he feels the exhaustion of the day and the upcoming events take over his body. It doesn’t take him long to feel the hands of sleep reaching over him, and with a final sigh, his fingers come up to curl themselves into the fabric of Hakyeon’s night shirt.

“It’s… not the same…” Hakyeon hears Taekwoon mumble as he tries to keep from wrapping him in his arms. He knows it’s not, but it doesn’t appease his anger -- he’s the only one having to deal with the fear of Taekwoon, and Sanghyuk, never returning. He’s the only one having to cope with the thought that, maybe… he’s going to lose everything. And he can’t do anything about it.

***

On the other side of the city, Sanghyuk is sitting alone in his little room, looking at his surroundings like he’s trying to brand them into his memory. Ever since he saw the anger and desperation in both Hakyeon and Taekwoon’s eyes as they were walking down from the master’s office, there had been an unsettling storm raging in his chest -- and he knows it’s because of their mission, because the weight of the words and their meaning, and the emotions on their faces didn’t let him go, even after he was sent home to rest for the day.

He thought it was clear that they had to do anything to help, but he could sense the tenseness in both of his mentors, of his friends, as they walked by without noticing him. There was something about it that made Sanghyuk almost upset -- they had done enough missions to know their duties, and yet, the light in Hakyeon’s eyes had been disapproving.

He sighs, ruffling his hair in an attempt to distract himself from all the thoughts bustling through his brain. He’s scared, Sanghyuk knows he is.

He looks down at his fingers, thinks about how it felt to be in somebody’s own mind, to feel their emotions and their thoughts and completely overtaking their control. It’s both terrifying and invigorating, and that’s what scares Sanghyuk the most. But he knows his magic is strong, strong enough to have the power to change the war -- he doesn’t like boasting, but he can tell from the way people treat him when they find out.

Not Taekwoon, though; Taekwoon had always been different. He had looked worried, and Sanghyuk felt like he hadn’t needed to say another word to explain. Taekwoon had taken him in, shown him how to channel his magic into something good, something that made Sanghyuk feel like he could live with his powers. He doesn’t quite know when, but it had made him fall, too. Fall for Taekwoon, and eventually, after weeks and weeks of both of his mentors being inseperable, fall for Hakyeon, too.

It’s something Sanghyuk almost feels ashamed about -- falling for both his mentor and his boyfriend. It’s a silly crush, one that only shows how young he still is, and sometimes, Sanghyuk hates himself for it. He knows there is no way it could work, knows the two of them have a bond that he can’t get included in; and yet, the hope and fast beating of his heart each time they look at him, take care of him and tease him, is something Sanghyuk is afraid of ever loosing.

He moves from his desk to sit on the side of his bed, his mind swirling around the mission and where it will bring him. Sanghyuk doesn’t feel fear yet, but he knows that the experience he will have on the battlefield-- that’s something to be terrified of. He tries not to think about it, tries to keep his mind busy with strengthening his magic and revelling in it; it’s something that’s always helped, tapping into his magical energy and feeling at peace with it.

He doesn’t know if he’s going to be able to sleep, even if the tornado of thoughts and emotions settles down inside of him.

***

The atmosphere is tense when Sanghyuk arrives at the outer ramparts of the city. Hakyeon and Taekwoon are already waiting for him, and Sanghyuk can tell that they had a fight -- Hakyeon's back is turned to face the younger, and Taekwoon's eyes are distant when their gazes meet, as if he’s far away in the hills he’s been looking at already. "Morning," Sanghyuk greets, mostly to get rid of the awkwardness of walking into a tense situation. Hakyeon's eyes are softer than he expected them to be when the elemental mage turns to face him, but there's a glint of despair in their depths that Sanghyuk doesn't feel comfortable seeing. "You're here. Good." Hakyeon says with a small smile, but it's clear that he doesn't feel like smiling in the least bit; his eyes are distant and untouched. "We should get going. No point in lingering, it's going to be a two week journey until we reach the encampment." Neither of them specifies which encampment they're meant to reach, and the idea of having to join war is something Sanghyuk still doesn't quite get his head around. But his resolve doesn't waver, and he gives Hakyeon a determined nod followed by a grin. It only makes the thin line of the mage’s lips even thinner. Sanghyuk can feel the weight of his backpack on his shoulders, can feel the straps sinking into his skin with the amount of things they had to take. Before he knows it, Hakyeon starts walking down the winding road, leading over the plains and into a distant mount of trees. He doesn’t once look back at the city walls.

“Hey, Taekwoon?” Sanghyuk starts after a couple of minutes of them walking, the city fading in the distance behind them.

The healer gives him a little grunt in response, indicating that he’s listening, and Sanghyuk worries his lip between his teeth.

“How bad is the situation at the front?”

Sanghyuk’s eyes meet Taekwoon’s as he speaks the words, and the elder’s gaze is filled with uncertainty. He can feel Hakyeon’s eyes on them, tense and sharp, and he almost wishes Sanghyuk didn’t ask.

“It’s…” Taekwoon starts, unsure how to reply. It’s very bad, is what he wants to say, but he also doesn’t want to rid Sanghyuk of the hope every person has, no matter what battle they’re going into. He settles for a compromising answers, though, not bearing to tell Sanghyuk about all the bad news they’ve heard from the messengers Lightning Floralis had sent in a request for help.

“The enemy forces have a lot of mercenary mages at their disposal. How they got so many is a big question -- it makes the fight harder. For now, our fronts have been able to fight steadily... But what we will find when we get to the battlefield, I don’t know.”

The reply gives Sanghyuk something to ponder over for a while, and they make their way forward in silence. Taekwoon’s eyes meet Hakyeon’s once more, and the lack of words between them is of no matter; Taekwoon understands the thoughts Hakyeon doesn’t speak out loud. He tries for a little, tiny smile, reassuring and warm, and for a moment, it seems the elemental mage is appeased -- but Taekwoon doesn’t see the fist Hakyeon’s fingers cramp into at his side.

***

By the time they reach the growing shadow of edge of the forest their eyes had seen from the city ramparts, the sun is already sinking low between its leaves, basking the sky and the tips of the trees in warm, heavy colors.

Sanghyuk feels exhausted, his feet hurting as he helps the others set up a little camp for the night. They haven’t eaten much over the course of the day, and the younger can feel his stomach churn in demand.

“I’ll fix you something quick, okay?” Hakyeon says softly, and it’s the first time that day that Sanghyuk notices a small smile playing about his lips. It’s taking him off guard, and he can’t help the dust of a blush spreading over his cheeks at Hakyeon’s attentiveness; he nods, and with the flick of his fingers Hakyeon has already started a little fire in front of their tent.

“Tomorrow we’ll rise early, before sunrise, that way we should be able to get a good portion of the way done before we reach town,” Taekwoon announces, and Hakyeon nods in agreement, eyes still fixated on the pot sitting on the fire. Sanghyuk can now smell the scent of spices and meat boiling in a bit of soup, and to his starved body, nothing has ever smelled more delicious.

They gulp down the food in a matter of minutes, all of them hungry from the long day of travel. Sanghyuk can tell that the exhaustion has appeased whatever quarrel lay between his mentors, and their conversation is specific, but light. They intentionally do not touch the subject of the battle and the war, and Sanghyuk feels somewhat grateful he doesn’t have to listen to it.

The sun has long since set, and the chill of the night’s breeze within the trees makes Sanghyuk shiver. Taekwoon notices, and with a little nod of the head to Hakyeon, the elemental mage makes the flames of the fire dance higher, illuminating their little camp.

Sanghyuk marvels at the prickling flames, the way they move between themselves; they’re not too hot, despite their size, and Sanghyuk suspects Hakyeon is controlling their heat. His eyes wander to the older mage, his slanted eyes lost in his fire, one of his hands dangling from his knees. Sanghyuk watches the little flames tangle themselves around his hand, and he’s almost envious about the beauty of it all, of Hakyeon’s magic. He thinks bitterly about his own, intrusive strength, and and the feeling like he could never be on par with any of his companions settles in his stomach -- lightly, but a nagging, constant awareness.

“Let’s go to bed,” Hakyeon says softly after another couple of minutes, and within the blink of an eye the fire is extinguished, not even one little veil of smoke rising up over the top of the trees and into the night’s sky.

***

It takes them about four days to get to the next bigger town, even though Hakyeon announces they’ll make camp in a little meadow just a couple of steps away from the edge of the forest.

“We won’t make it to the town tonight,” he says matter-of-factly, and the eyes of the other two look longingly into the distance, contemplating the far off lights behind the ramparts, projecting warmth. “We’ll need another two hours, three maybe, and the moon is already high. We need rest.”

Even though Sanghyuk longs for a good stew and a soft bed to sleep in, he also knows that Hakyeon is right. There is no use in arguing -- the tent is already set.

They each take a couple of bites from the bread they kept for the travel, the loaf almost completely dry and hard under their teeth. The salted meat is chewy, but it’s enough to keep them from travelling hungry.

Taekwoon’s eyes are somewhere far off, and his thoughts swirl around what’s to come; he isn’t sure if he’s going to be able to survive. It’s weird, being a healer and feeling so powerless about war -- it’s nothing Taekwoon can compare to the numerous missions they’ve been sent on. Those are different, he thinks. Those were all under control, within their powers. War, though, was a completely different battle.

If worst comes to worst, he might have to-- but it’s something Taekwoon doesn’t even want to formulate in his mind. The thought about that magic terrifies him, and he hopes that where he goes, nobody in a higher position knows about it. He wouldn’t be able to act by those orders, not even if it cost him his life.

Lost in his own thoughts and world, Taekwoon doesn't notice the growing agitation raging inside of his lover; only Sanghyuk notices the frown on his forehead, and he starts to be entirely worried when Hakyeon’s flames start to rise, higher and higher between them.

“What's-- are you… are you okay?” Sanghyuk starts, unsure what to do. Hakyeon's eyes blaze up at him, and the intensity of the state makes Sanghyuk swallow.

“You are going to war, Sanghyuk. You're both going to be in the center of battle, and Lord knows if you'll return! How can I be okay?” There's desperation meddled within Hakyeon's tone that has Sanghyuk’s mouth run dry.

Hakyeon's words bring Taekwoon back to reality, and Sanghyuk looks at him like a deer in headlights. Taekwoon’s brows furrow, and Sanghyuk can tell that this is not the first time the topic had come up between his two mentors.

“I told you I'm not going to let you stay.”

Taekwoon’s words cut the air around them like knives, and it's the first time Sanghyuk has heard his voice turn defiant, almost cold. It makes Hakyeon flinch, and the silent exchange between them terrifies Sanghyuk even more.

“You can't tell me what to do.” Hakyeon bites back, and his eyes are burning with an anger that makes Sanghyuk want to run. “I'm not letting you two die.”

This time, it's Sanghyuk's eyebrows that draw in together in irritation. He doesn't understand Hakyeon's arguments -- they've been given orders, and they will need to follow them.

“We won't turn away from battle.” Sanghyuk says into their quarrel, voice hard and determined. There's a challenging look in his eyes that's directed at Hakyeon, and he can tell that it takes the elder off guard.  “You won't make me.”

For a moment Hakyeon is stunned silent, looking at Sanghyuk with incredulity. Sanghyuk had teased him, called him, whined and even screamed at him before; but this unrelenting tone is something different.

“I'm not-- I'm not telling you anything,” Hakyeon presses out through his lips, and Sanghyuk can see the anger returning. He can feel the air turn hotter around them, and with a worried glance at Taekwoon, he knows it's Hakyeon's emotions running wild -- and with them, his magic.

“I can't-- I can't stay behind and wait for you to maybe never return!” Hakyeon's voice is trembling, and there is tension in the air that tells Sanghyuk that this might escalate any moment. He looks at Taekwoon for help, but the healer’s eyes are adamant, hard as stone.

“I can't see you die, Hakyeon. I can't… see you go down and maybe come too late, I just can't do this.”

And then it hits Sanghyuk -- how he's misunderstood the situation, the emotions at stake, the intentions behind Hakyeon's reluctance to bring them to the war front. He feels childish, stupid to have doubted, and he can understand the emotions now raging inside the elemental mage.

But his realization comes too late. Hakyeon's fists are tight at his sides, and the look of utter frustration in his eyes as he looks at Taekwoon doesn't bode well.

“Well, then maybe we should end this here. Nothing for you to worry about when you have no more reason to.” The words come out cold and sharp, and they hit Taekwoon with the full intensity of an icy blizzard. His lower lip quivers, but he holds Hakyeon's gaze, determined not to stand down.

Before Sanghyuk can say something, anything, Hakyeon turns on his heels and walks into the dark shapes of the trees. He doesn't turn to look back, and the two of them watch his retreating back, feeling their stomachs sinking.

Silence reigns between them for a few moments; Sanghyuk doesn't know what to say. It is the first time he's witnessed any sort of fight between Taekwoon and Hakyeon, and to be fair, he's not quite sure how to handle it.

“...He’s going to come back, don't worry.” He tries after a couple of minutes, giving Taekwoon a reassuring smile. “He's too passionate about you, that's all. He doesn't know how to keep his emotions in check, especially with his magical power as tangible and fragile as it is.”

Taekwoon doesn't quite know what to reply, contemplating Sanghyuk with a heavy gaze. The boy had grown so much while he had been out on missions, and that only made Taekwoon's feelings for him even more confusing. Sanghyuk talking like an adult is something he needs to get accustomed to, but it also soothes the pain the fight had brought, if only a little.

Taekwoon can't help but smile at Sanghyuk's hopeful words, and he feels the appreciation for his student grow in his chest.

“It's not only about me, you know?” he chuckles a little, even though it sounds slightly reluctant. “Those words were directed at you, too.”

Taekwoon's words make a little blush form on Sanghyuk's cheeks, and he can't help but feel a little shy. He feels warm thinking about Hakyeon caring that much for him, but at the same time, he hopes Taekwoon does, too.

“Let's get some rest. I'll talk with Hakyeon when he comes back…” Taekwoon sighs, and despite the mood being in balance once again, Sanghyuk can clearly feel the anxiety about losing Hakyeon emanating off of Taekwoon. He can only relate a little, but even that's enough to understand the downright horrifying thought of losing someone you love. He doesn't even want to think about it.

***

It feels like barely an hour later when Taekwoon is woken up by loud, rustling sounds outside of the tent. His eyes, still heavy with sleep, flicker over to Sanghyuk lying curled up next to him -- Hakyeon is nowhere in sight.

He hears hushed voices from outside, and they sound rough; he can vaguely make out lights flickering through the tent’s cloth, moving around them in a circle. Taekwoon’s hands come up to shake Sanghyuk awake by the shoulder, and the younger takes a moment blinking his eyes to catch onto the situation.

“What’s going on?” he whispers, eyes darting at the lights outside, worried. Taekwoon doesn’t say anything, just motions him to stay quiet as he makes for the entrance of the tent. His fingers brush it open, and he can see a couple of men walking around with torches, whispering as if setting up a scheme. Their clothes look thick and rustled, and some of them have clubs and other weaponry in their hands.

“Shit,” Taekwoon breathes, and Sanghyuk is behind him in a matter of seconds, eyes scanning what he sees.

“Bandits?” Sanghyuk ventures softly, and Taekwoon grits his teeth. This isn’t good. He keeps his eyes out for Hakyeon, but the elemental mage is nowhere in sight. A sinking feeling spreads over Taekwoon; despite them knowing hand to hand combat fairly decently, if there is a mage with them, they will be overpowered quickly. Even if Sanghyuk would use his telepathic powers, there is no way that he could control an entire horde of enemies.

Taekwoon weighs their chances to get out unnoticed; he counts about twelve bandits surrounding their camp, and the probability of them going unseen is very low. If only Hakyeon hadn’t walked off, they might’ve been able to push thr--

“They’re awake! TAKE THEM! NOW!”

The unexpected yell makes Taekwoon and Sanghyuk freeze in their spot for a moment. Taekwoon curses under his breath; of course they would get discovered. He gives Sanghyuk a look before he takes his wrist, bolting up and pulling Sanghyuk with him just in time to evade one of the clubs aiming for their heads.

“Where’s Hakyeon??” Sanghyuk calls as Taekwoon tries to pull him through the enemies, quickly stepping left and right out of the way of one knife or another club. Taekwoon doesn’t answer him, instead stopping when a wall of bandits try to corner them, keeping them from running away; Taekwoon’s eyes flicker through their ranks, looking for a gap.

There’s a thump behind him, and the sound makes Taekwoon whirl around -- only to see Sanghyuk guarding himself with his arm, the spikes adorning the wooden club slashing through his leather attire. Taekwoon sees blood flowing from the wounds opening on Sanghyuk’s forearm, but before he can react, he hears the cries behind him.

He turns around just as one of the bandits is swinging his sword at him, and he can evade the blade by mere inches. But just as me makes to engage one enemy, two others launch their attack, and Taekwoon is forced to back off again, unable to land even one hit. He curses, eyes trying to turn to Sanghyuk to see how he’s doing -- just when one of the blades grazes his left shoulder.

He cries out in pain, and for a moment he sees red. The wound isn’t deep enough to be dangerous, but he can’t fight with it; and it’s right at that moment that Taekwoon wishes his powers were of offensive nature. The thought makes him stop for a brief moment, contemplating their position and his choices -- he can hear Sanghyuk struggling behind him, can hear one or two bandits cry out in pain as Sanghyuk tries to twist their minds into submission -- and the thought of not being able to shield Sanghyuk from pain pushes Taekwoon over the edge.

He grits his teeth, one knee on the ground, his injured arm hanging from his side; and then he taps into his magic. He’s buried it for years now, the part of his magic that always contradicted everything he’s lived for, everything his healing was, and the simple thought of tapping into that abyss of darkness freezes his limbs. But he pushes through, the sounds of Sanghyuk struggling behind him fueling his resolve -- he knows he is going to regret it when everything is over, but it’s not the time to think about guilt. Taekwoon needs to keep them alive.

He can feel the energy surge through his veins, can feel the life power of all living creatures in his close vicinity in the palm of his hands. Some are small, others, human. It doesn’t take him long to single out the ones he needs to target, only milliseconds -- and with a twist of his right arm, a flick of his fingers, Taekwoon starts.

The feeling makes him shake, eyes wide open in horror and face white as the moon. He can feel the energy leaving their enemies, can feel it fill his body like a parasite -- growing with each second, being sucked into him. It makes him want to throw up, draining a human being’s life force with his mere hands, without them even standing a chance; he hates it. He wishes it to be over, but Taekwoon has never drained so many at once, and he can feel his own magical energy deplete as his life force grows. It’s sickening.

But suddenly, even without his magic taking over, he can feel their energies go out, like candles in a sharp breeze. He feels the sudden cut of the ties between him and his enemies, feels the release -- his hands are shaking, and he can’t stand on his legs, his muscles too wobbly to hold ground.

“Taekwoon! Sanghyuk!”

It’s Hakyeon’s voice that fills his ears, and for a moment, Taekwoon can’t believe how glad he is to hear it. He can feel hands coming to rest on his shoulders, shaking him, but the feeling of the lives he almost took still lingers in every vein in his body. Taekwoon feels dizzy, keeping himself up with one of his hands on the ground, but it doesn’t steady him.

Instead of lifting his eyes to meet the worried ones of Hakyeon, they fall closed, and his consciousness sinks into darkness.

Usually, it’s Sanghyuk who gets jealous.

It’s not much, just a furrowed brow or a little dismissive grunt here and there, but it’s still jealousy, Jaehwan thinks with some amusement. It’s fascinating for him, how someone so outright confident as Sanghyuk can have such a side to his character; but it only makes the affection in Jaehwan’s chest grow.

It’s isn’t about trust, Sanghyuk tells Jaehwan countless of times, because he trusts Jaehwan with his life, and more than that. But Sanghyuk is possessive, Jaehwan knows — knows from the bite marks bruising along his inner thighs, knows from the marks left on his hips by Sanghyuk’s fingertips, knows from the way Sanghyuk whispers his name. And Jaehwan loves it, needs it to feel complete, and he relishes in each and every single bruise Sanghyuk leaves on his body. They never hurt, because Sanghyuk doesn’t intend them to. They’re an indication of possession, not punishment, and Sanghyuk knows that Jaehwan is fully aware of it.

But tonight, they’re at one of Wonshik’s parties. The kind that starts out slow but ends up wild and messy, people and bottles everywhere, hands wandering along bodies that they aren’t supposed to. Usually, Jaehwan enjoys them, knows that most of Wonshik’s friends know not to bother with either Sanghyuk or Jaehwan — they’re quite out of bounds. But usually, there are no drugs involved either, and Jaehwan doesn’t care if Wonshik dismisses it — “It’s grass, Jaehwan, it’s practically legal,” — it’s still a bad idea, given the state of intoxication people have reached with only alcohol already.

“I’m gonna go look for Sanghyuk,” Jaehwan yells over the music blasting in their ears, and Wonshik simply nods, eyes already somewhat glazed over, not entirely focusing on anything. Jaehwan can’t really judge him as he can feel the buzz surging through his veins and clouding his brain, making everything feel lighter, his movements seeming more fluid and less awkward in the crowd; he knows it’s only his perception, being drunk fucks with that, but he manages to make his way through throngs of people, eyes lazily scanning each of their faces for Sanghyuk’s.

It takes some time to find him, Jaehwan’s focus zooming in and out and the drumming of the music in his ears makes his eyes throb even more. But he finds him at last, sitting on one of the couches in Wonshik’s living room, chatting with someone Jaehwan doesn’t know and doesn’t quite care about.

It takes Jaehwan a while to react, eyes simply locked on Sanghyuk, appraising him with his lips turned into a big, silly smile. Everything about Sanghyuk looks nice, Jaehwan thinks, from the way his dark jeans hug his thighs to his hair styled up and his eyes glinting in the dim light of the room. God, he’d sink his teeth into him right here if they were alone.

As Jaehwan comes closer, though, the admiration stops when he sees the other guy’s hand around Sanghyuk’s waist — not really holding, but loosely playing with the cloth of Sanghyuk’s shirt, and Jaehwan feels something other than the alcohol throb in his brain. He stays calm for a moment, the whirlwind of something bitter and sour raging inside of him, biting at his lungs and making it slightly harder to breathe. His thoughts stop, and Jaehwan only knows one thing: Sanghyuk is his.

He steps closer, and Sanghyuk only notices him when Jaehwan is towering above them, eyes drawn in menacing little slits as he takes them in.

“Oh, hey, Jaehwan—“

“Having fun?” Jaehwan interrupts his boyfriend, not even trying to press out a smile; it’s the last thing he feels like doing. He can feel something more intense swirling in his stomach, and he tries to breathe, but it doesn’t do much to calm the burning fire in his veins.

Sanghyuk gives him a quick look, assessing the situation. Jaehwan can see in his eyes that he knows something is up, and Jaehwan hopes he does — it’ll make it all so much more enjoyable, when Jaehwan makes him remember who he belongs to.

“I was just talking to—“ Sanghyuk starts again, motioning to his companion for an introduction, but Jaehwan doesn’t care.  His fingers close around Sanghyuk’s wrist, pulling him up and into his body, and before he realises, Jaehwan’s lips find Sanghyuk’s in a bruising kiss. It’s surprising for them both, but Jaehwan relishes in it when he notices the other guy getting flustered — Sanghyuk is his, and nobody should quite forget that.

“We’re leaving,” Jaehwan mutters against Sanghyuk lips as they part a little for air, and he can feel Sanghyuk’s heartbeat under his fingertips, drumming fast and warm. Sanghyuk doesn’t reply, eyes locking with Jaehwan’s for a second before he nods, lips parted and pink. It has Jaehwan forget about his initial anger, the jealousy half subsided in favour of Sanghyuk, and Jaehwan needs to get a grip to wheel around and pull Sanghyuk out of the apartment, party utterly forgotten.

They don’t talk on the way home, Jaehwan intend on ignoring Sanghyuk until they’re past their front door and well into the darkness of their room. It’s not about punishment, it never is between the two of them, but Jaehwan can understand the sheer, raw need to mark his possession, just as Sanghyuk has done to him countless of times.

“I told you, don’t let them touch you,” Jaehwan almost growls as he pushes Sanghyuk along the hallway and into the bedroom, shirt already lost of the way as he fumbles with Sanghyuk’s belt.

Sanghyuk gives him an amused look, the grin stretching over his lips practically mocking. “Isn’t that what I tell you all the time?”

Jaehwan fully growls, then, stripping Sanghyuk down to nothing in a matter of seconds, hands digging into the skin of his hips, hard and intend to bruise. “Don’t get cocky. You’re mine.”

Jaehwan’s words are emphasised with a sharp bite to Sanghyuk’s jaw, trailing down his neck and leaving Sanghyuk’s light skin with dark red blotches and swollen marks. It makes Sanghyuk gasp, his demeanour cracking, the hairs on his arms standing straight with the anticipation of Jaehwan’s actions; he’s so pretty when he’s like this, Jaehwan thinks, and he really doesn’t regret leaving the party for it.

But now, having Sanghyuk sprawled out in front of him, pretty chest heaving with every intake of breath, Jaehwan’s urgency subsides. The hands trailing over Sanghyuk’s sides are soft and gentle, yet Jaehwan makes it a point to scratch his nails along the curve of Sanghyuk’s hips, leaving little red glowing scratches along the way. Sanghyuk’s noises are sweet and high, the sound stirring deep in Jaehwan’s stomach; and still he doesn’t urge faster, takes his time running his nose up the inside of Sanghyuk’s thigh.

“J—Jaehwan,” Sanghyuk breathes his name, soft and almost a whisper, as Jaehwan’s lips trail up the junction of his hip. It triggers a little bite, Jaehwan nibbling at Sanghyuk’s skin until he’s sure the mark is one of the longest to remain after. He gives this attention to a couple of more spots, he action so intimate that Sanghyuk, for once, can’t keep the blush from tainting his cheeks.

Sanghyuk is straining, fully hard and leaking by the time Jaehwan decides to take a step back and admire his work, his own clothes being discarded in the process. Jaehwan loves seeing Sanghyuk like this, because it’s a rare opportunity for him to repay all that he receives from him over and over again. He wants Sanghyuk to feel safe, feel like he belongs to Jaehwan and only him, being engulfed by all of him and never let go. Jaehwan knows it’s satisfying, taking the edge off of the both of them, the validation enough to endure a couple of days.

Jaehwan murmurs sweet nothings into Sanghyuk ear and nips at his neck as he stretches him, drinking in every little sound and reaction Sanghyuk gives him. Both of them are panting by the time Sanghyuk’s fingers wind themselves around Jaehwan’s wrist, telling him to stop, and Jaehwan is so filled with the need to be closer, be deeper, that he doesn’t hesitate for even a moment.

The kiss they share as Jaehwan slowly pushes into Sanghyuk is slow and intense, Sanghyuk’s teeth grazing along Jaehwan’s lip and their tongues swirling against each other in sweet, languid strokes. Sanghyuk moans into Jaehwan’s mouth as he buries himself deep inside of him, and the sound is so needy that Jaehwan shudders, goosebumps raising on his arms and back.

When Jaehwan starts to move, it’s both a relief and a frustration. Their stimulations are already far beyond what either of them can take, the simple touch of their skins enough to send their minds reeling with pleasure and sensations. Sanghyuk cries out when Jaehwan thrusts deep but slow, fucking him shallowly without increasing the pace. It makes both of them come undone, Sanghyuk’s fingers digging into the back of Jaehwan’s arms and Jaehwan’s mind unable to focus on anything as he thrusts himself into Sanghyuk over and over again, their moans mingling in the humidity of the air between them.

It feels like hours, each second longer and more intense than the last as Jaehwan fucks Sanghyuk until he sees stars, head spinning as he comes, emptying himself in between them. It only takes Jaehwan a couple more thrusts until he follows, limbs numb and thighs aching from the intensity of it all. Jaehwan collapses into Sanghyuk’s arms, breathing in his sweaty, musky scent. Their emotions are almost palpable in their air around them, and neither wants to move, both too spent — both physically and emotionally.

“You’re so silly,” Sanghyuk murmurs, eyes not even opening to look at Jaehwan, but his lips are stretched into a little smile.

Usually, Kibum doesn’t mind her short hair as a girl. It fits her no matter what she wears, anyway — be it simple jeans and baggy t-shirts or tight dresses and high heels. It just feels nice, knowing she only has to adjust her clothes to her daily mood, and she can instantly feel at ease.

Today, though, she frets over everything. Her hair doesn’t really do what she wants it to do — it doesn’t fall nice and softly into her face, nor do any of her pretty hair clips and head bands make it look, well, like she wants it to. Frustrated, she grabs one of her wigs, looking at it critically before she drops it for the next.

In the end, it’s a draw between her strawberry blonde curls and her brown pigtails; the different vibe of the two not making the decision any easier. She knows she shouldn’t care so much about the impression she’d make on Taemin, after all, he knew what he’d get himself into from the start; Kibum doesn’t like to keep secrets, even less when it’s about herself as a person. If people don’t accept her, then she figures she doesn’t need to be around them, after all. But Taemin, Kibum does care about. Since they’ve met, they’ve been out a couple of times, and until now Kibum didn’t have the courage or the mood to be a girl. It’s something she can’t fully control, anyway, but thinking about the way Taemin’s eyes had glinted at her when he smiled all those times before, makes her want to trust him, enough not to cancel their date just because today she is a girl.

It’s weird, how her stomach flips every time she thinks about him; it usually doesn’t happen this fast, and she usually stays rational, not letting emotions in too quickly — but he’s weird and silly most of the times, soft and warm even if he tries to act it cool, and it feels like she can simply let go around him, like he doesn’t judge her or the world for anything. And it’s nice, getting away from the hypocrisy of people, even though Kibum still can’t say she knows him, well, that well.

‘That’s gonna change today, isn’t it,’ she thinks to herself as she decides on the brown pigtails, fitting it along her scalp nice and snug. There are still incessant what ifs floating around in her mind, nagging at her insides as she checks over her outfit in the mirror once again. She smiles; the pink jean skirt riding high on her waist and the light green shirt tucked into its seam look good against her skin, and she wills the worries away with a flip of her hand through her hair.

She shouldn’t summon the devil -- even though she is almost 100% sure that Taemin wouldn’t even be able to reject anything coming from her when she looks this cute. But despite her comforting thoughts, she can feel the nervousness gnaw at her stomach as she steps out of her apartment, closing the door shut behind her with shaky fingers.

—

Taemin fidgets a little with his hands in his pockets as he waits, bottom lip worried between his teeth. It’s a bright day, the sun shining down on the plaza with a force he did not quite anticipate, and he’s beginning to feel a little hot under the black shirt and the grey coat hanging from his shoulders. He tried to style himself more to current fashion, jeans ripped and little, almost too tight necklace hanging from his neck. He knows Kibum likes fashion, so much that of course Taemin agreed when he suggested to meet downtown for a window shopping date.

He groans to himself, thinking that he’s really already in too deep — Kibum has him wrapped around his little finger already, and he finds he is in no mind to even complain.

Taemin lets his eyes wander around the crowd surrounding him, gaze scanning for Kibum’s usual black hair and sharp features. He checks his phone for the time, and chuckles when he sees that Kibum is already five minutes late -- if Taemin wouldn’t have been so nervous, he’d probably be the one running late instead. But today, his hand shook when he turned the key to lock up the front door, and there was a bounce in his step that made him walk much faster than he usually does.

“Taemin-ah.”

Kibum’s voice is soft and resonates in Taemin’s ears so suddenly he almost snaps his neck with how fast he is to look up, slightly startled. He quickly smiles, about to open his lips to greet Kibum with a soft hello when he registers the person standing in front of him — and, to his mild surprise, looking quite different from the Kibum he’d seen and met up with until now.

Taemin’s voice catches in his throat as he takes in Kibum’s appearance, eyes raking over his— her exposed legs, over the pale pink skirt and her white handbag, up to the thin eyeliner with dark, thin eyelashes and the brown hair, tied up in little pigtails. He’s never seen her like this before, blushing in her nervousness, pink manicured fingers fisted around the strap of her bag, and he just can’t stop staring. His eyes take in the pale pink lipstick tinting her lips, and for a moment he almost forgets how to breathe.

He snaps out of it when Kibum shifts uncomfortably from one foot to the other in front of him, realising the silence between them getting heavier by the minute; and it’s only then that he fully realises he needs to say something, or else Kibum might just misunderstand.

“You— wow, you look—“ Taemin blabbers as he looks at her, his eyes wide with amazement. “Pretty.” He finishes with sweaty hands and a nervous laugh. It seems to take the tension off of Kibum’s shoulders, though, the rigidness at Taemin’s silence seeming to dissipate slowly with his words.

“You, uh, think?” she tempts quietly, still not entirely convinced that Taemin didn’t just have the shock of his life. But Taemin’s smile is warm now, soft as she remembers it, and there’s a drumming thud coming from her heart.

“You look cute,” Taemin chuckles a little as he takes one step closer to her, pulling slightly at one of her pigtails. “Unexpected, but very cute. I didn’t know I would have such a pretty date today, or I would have dressed up better myself.” He gestures down at his simple outfit, and it earns him a thrilled laugh flowing from Kibum’s pink lips.

“You don’t look half bad,” she almost giggles, awkwardness gone, and Taemin’s heart beat picks up at the sound. “Though the coat seems to be a little hot, don’t you think?”

Taemin grimaces as he leads her down the street, towards the shopping district where the saturday crowd is filling the space around them with foreign chatter. “My weather forecast has failed me,” he grumbles at her, feet following Kibum to one of the shops close by.

“Mhmm. At least it looks good on you,” she beams at him, making his heart jump, before her eyes are averted to the rack of clothes displayed before them, and the focus shifts from Taemin’s coat to the many shirts and dresses in front of them.

Taemin feels like he loses track of the clothes and make up they pass over the next couple of hours, his attention fully shifting towards Kibum as they walk along the streets. She looks so soft as a girl that Taemin wonders if he would break her if he’d hold her, if she’d fit in his arms perfectly just like she seems to. He doesn’t pay any close attention to the things she tries on and parades for him, his eyes only ever landing on her eyes, her smile, her face. The sudden fondness settling in is completely different from the harsh attraction he felt to Kibum when they met before — two sides of the same coin that Taemin wouldn’t mind get sucked up in.

“Hey, is this a little too short?” she asks after another couple of dresses she’s shown him, and it’s only at her words that Taemin snaps out of his trance, eyes this time fully concentrating on the task at hand.

The moment his eyes take in the seam of the pretty, light blue dress stopping high up her thigh, he wishes she wouldn’t have asked him. His mouth turns dry at the sight of her skin, and even though the skirt she was wearing earlier wasn’t that much longer than the dress, something inside Taemin twists at the sight of the light blue fabric contrasting perfectly against her skin.

“It’s— uh,” Taemin mumbles unintelligently, eyes blinking fast a couple of times before averting themselves down, and Taemin can feel the dark, burning blush spreading on his cheeks. “It… might be a little… but it’s— very pretty.” He chokes out, both embarrassed and mildly turned on. He knows it’s not the place for that, nor the time — he’s only gotten to know Kibum like this today, and he’d like her to be comfortable showing herself like this to him before he even thinks about going anywhere further than the occasional kiss on the cheek. But his skin feels like it’s burning, and Kibum’s dark eyes set mischievously on him don’t help at all.

“Alright. I’ll buy this, then.” She beams at him with a twinkle in her eyes, and Taemin almost chokes on his breath.

Kibum pays for the dress and it gives Taemin just enough time to calm himself down, trying to keep his mind from wandering too far.

“All done. Shall we move on?” Kibum then chimes as he rejoins him, one of her hands dangling the little bag with her purchase, the other sneaking around Taemin’s right arm, pulling him closer to her as they make their way over to the next shop.

Sanghyuk knows he should have lied when asked who he liked best — not so much because it was a secret, but mostly for himself. Jaehwan had seemed a little taken aback, eyes confused for a moment before they moved back to the MC, and Sanghyuk already starts feeling terrible right after the conversation moves on. But Jaehwan’s eyes keep searching for his, even minutes later, and Sanghyuk tries not to let his cheeks grow pink.

Sanghyuk still feels Jaehwan’s gaze on his face even when they’re through with the show, everybody bundled up in their van in the direction of home. The intensity of it makes his ears flush, and he doesn’t really want to deal with it; so he pretends to fall asleep on Hongbin’s shoulder, but the weight of Jaehwan’s eyes on him doesn’t move, not for the rest of the ride. He’s a coward, Sanghyuk tells himself, for throwing a bone and then pulling it back by a hidden string.

The night is bright when they roll unto the couch of their dorm, Hakyeon and Taekwoon already occupying the two showers before anybody else could protest. Sanghyuk feels drained, energy completely sucked out of his body from the day of work and cameras — he knows the others are, too. Sanghyuk’s eyes search for Jaehwan in the familiarity of their apartment, but he’s nowhere to be seen, and Sanghyuk grumbles at himself for feeling disappointed. Somehow, he’d expected something to happen once they reached their dorm; but it was a silly thought to begin with.

“Are you going to wash up?” Hongbin asks after a few minutes, when Taekwoon comes strolling out of the bathroom with his strands of hair still wet and dripping unto the floor. Sanghyuk only looks up, as if risen from a trance, and for a second his eyes look at Hongbin with lack of understanding before he comes back to reality.

“Uh, you go ahead. I’ll finish up later.”

“Alright,” Hongbin sighs, “Don’t be too late, okay? We’re up early tomorrow again.”

Sanghyuk gives him a little smile, and it seems to be enough to make Hongbin satisfied. He simply nods, taking a towel from Taekwoon’s outstretched hand before sauntering off to shower. When the door closes and he’s left behind, Sanghyuk suddenly feels the emptiness of the living room weigh down on him, and he realises that everyone else must have already washed up before him.

It’s a weird thought, being alone in a room when he’s usually always around people, and for a moment he feels wary of it; like the glow of the kitchen light shining into the living room might suck him up in the darkness of the night, bringing him to a place lost and far away. Sanghyuk shudders a little as his eyes move to the windows, the lights of the city twinkling like littered stars under him, and he wonders if Jaehwan had meant all the other things he’d said about him before. Sanghyuk really hopes he did, and he almost feels foolish for it.

The sound of bare feet tapping over the floor resonate in Sanghyuk’s ears after what feels like hours of just sitting there and watching the night unfold in front of him. He looks up, and Jaehwan’s soft features shine in the warm rays of the kitchen light, nice yet electrifying. Sanghyuk should have expected this, because Jaehwan isn’t one to leave things unclear; and yet somewhere in himself Sanghyuk had hoped that maybe, tonight, he would.

“You should really wash yourself,” Jaehwan says as he sits down next to Sanghyuk on the border of the couch, scrunching up his nose as he leans in just a little. “You reek of leather and sweat.”

Somehow, the words are enough to take the edge off of Sanghyuk. He laughs at them, chuckles as he looks at Jaehwan, and for some reason it doesn’t feel anxious anymore, the whole situation he suddenly finds himself in.

“Maybe if you join me,” Sanghyuk teases, and he can tell Jaehwan’s eyes darken a little under his freshly washed bangs fallen into his face. There’s a silence after that, but it’s not uncomfortable — it rather seems warm and patient, just like when you know what’s to come but you don’t want to rush into something that you know will turn out okay, somehow.

“Hey,” Jaehwan’s voice breaks the ongoing silence after a few minutes, sounding a little rough as if he isn’t sure he wanted to say anything at all. “Did you… mean it?”

He doesn’t need to specify, because Sanghyuk knows they’re both more than aware of the subject — it’s been hanging in between them for the entire night now, maybe even longer than that. Maybe, if Sanghyuk thinks back, it’s been hanging in between them from the start.

“Do you have any reason to doubt me?” Sanghyuk chuckles, and it’s soft and warm in Jaehwan’s ears. He doesn’t answer right away, his lips turning into a little smile instead before he replies. Sanghyuk knew Jaehwan would understand his simple words, reading into them what was to be read between the lines. It had been hanging in the air for too long, had made breathing heavy between them for a while.

“No, but I’d like to hear it.” Jaehwan’s eyes crease as he says it, smile in place, in that wonderful way that makes Sanghyuk’s lips feel dry and his heart beat faster. It feels nice, calm and warm and safe, and Sanghyuk doesn’t know why he didn’t tell Jaehwan sooner.

“I like you, hyung,” he half chuckles half smiles. It’s not a confession, not really, something more akin to a confirmation — for both of them. And suddenly the tension in his shoulders seems to evaporate into something warmer, something that feels a lot like love making his knees weak.

Jaehwan sighs as he hears the words, but it’s not a sigh heavy with worry. It’s light and freeing, and Sanghyuk can tell that Jaehwan’s slight sniffling is from trying to keep in a laugh.

“Come here, you silly boy,” Jaehwan breathes softly, and before he knows it Sanghyuk finds himself in Jaehwan’s arms, wrapped around him like a cage — but it’s good, so much better than their knees touching or their hands brushing by accident now and then. And then Jaehwan’s lips are soft on his own, the feeling making Sanghyuk’s heart inflate in his chest to a point he thinks he’s going to burst; but he knows he won’t, because it’s impossible and Jaehwan is too gentle for anything to happen with him. Sanghyuk feels like he’s flying, high up through the clouds and low over the waves of the sea, and he doesn’t think he could ever get enough of this.

Jaehwan pecks his lips a couple of times more, gently and without any rush; Sanghyuk can see the glimmer in his eyes and along his lips, and the only thing he can think of is ‘I’m the reason for that.’  And then Jaehwan scrunches his nose against, dipping it into the collar of Sanghyuk’s hoodie.