Add Two Shots of Espresso.

Every Friday I am here at the hospital campus, til I am more comfortable finding my way around, I am making a sandwich for lunch. Nothing that needs heating. And I am using my freezer packs that last ages.

Finding my way around has been nerve wracking but what helps kept it easy today was that I got to be in the basement all day and therefore didn’t get lost from my office to anywhere else.

I don’t like the idea of not having a fridge in my office when everyone else hut one person does so I will be grabbing one of the mini fridges on my last days in that location.

I’ve spent the majority of the day just cleaning up my computer files and email….and that one doesn’t seem to stay deleted. I’ve made some errors on the stuff I’ve done so I wonder if those will come back 😅 but the dying question I have had was finally answered by emailing the guy that trained me last Friday. Thank god!!!!!

I had one of the technicians from my old job reach out because manager isn’t keeping up with insurance stuff for patients. Basically everyone is NOT OK since I left and shit isn’t getting done that I took care of and the people HATE her even more. I’m glad I left. I’m trying like hell not to talk badly but it’s so 50/50 that I’m like “look liked the job loved the people but one person made it hell” and the few I’ve told that it was manager they’ve all agreed a bad manager can make the place hell to want to stay in.

70 year old coworker keeps trying like hell to watch what I’m up to or tell me she needs to see me to show me something ..and I’m like “what” …could you possibly want to show me when I won’t remember…and she said “oh I just want to show you where (idk what it was), but it can wait”…maam. It ain’t happening. I’m literally stressing out that I am fucking shit up on shit that takes me AN HOUR to complete.

Also. The lack of constant human interaction has me being a chatterbox when with some new coworkers I’ve previously met. Like brain, SHUT UP!!! It’s nerves. I think. I do just fine alone now that I’m on a new dose for my adhd.

Gotta love being an outgoing antisocial person. I hate it. I want to be quiet and mousy for a LONG time while I’m here one day a week, please and thank you.

I have 30 minutes til I clock out and I’m gonna go change since the scrubs I’m wearing are borrowed and a certain person needs them and I gotta find them lmao.

Boss man is off today. Knew that was happening. The manager decided to work from home today, she was supposed to help me set up in my office. So she instructed me to use boss man’s office.

Which I don’t mind…but NOBODY knew that was the plan til me and another reached out to the manager to see if she was in yet to go up and meet her and work on my setup (I’ve met her but mean meet to setup specifically).

There were quite a few call offs so everyone has had to come down (people with my job title) to help empty delivered items, and I’m in his office just killing time. I just cleaned up my saved documents in word. I don’t need a damn thing since it’s from my last job but there’s a few things I spent weeks on I’m not parting with yet. And then I deleted every single email involving my last job and all the saved folders. I had been meaning to do that while I was there but all 4 new hires sucked so much I couldn’t find the time!!! It’s nice to have my shit cleaned up though. I love being organized and I almost felt like I couldn’t at that job and here, some things were getting a little crazy!!

70 year old came in here to ask me about something they’re doing and who ordered something, and I’m like I have no idea about anything here.l and I don’t know who that is. And she’s like yeah I thought so but I figured I would ask (that’s literally her answer to anything when she’s told no). Like girl….we both know this is my third day in THIS building. Stop it. Then she lingered behind me to see what I was doing (always needs to know) and she was like well I know you’re busy doing something but when you have a second maybe you can help us out putting stuff away m. Maam. No. I would be wasting everyone’s time and I have literal work from yesterday waiting plus I helped one for 2 hours when I could have been working on my stuff to get caught up. I love to help, but I don’t like being behind, and I’m new, and I do not know anything about where shit is in this location. So no. Absolutely not. Not today.

Gym was tough but I was able to comfortably be on higher weights or could have gone up actually. The Monthly is supposed to start today full force, so the levels of energy on lethargic and my mental/emotional state is on I am so glad I walked away from all of you toxic people (the ones you know of and others that I only talked to or got to know for like 3-ish months).

The coffee is ready, shower, eye makeup to do since I didn’t yesterdays because my energy level was giving I can’t fucking do anything physical today.

Then off to the hospital campus. I know (with Google Maps to help) where to park and where to go in. After that…..I am PRETTY SURE I know where to go to find employee elevators and the scrubs I need to wear; but to my office, the cafeteria, back to my office and from my office to the basement to recharge into normal clothes, and in any of those places finding a bathroom: I have no fucking clue where to go.

This is fine. This will be fun. Did I mention my badge doesn’t work to get scrubs or clock in? But I have to try to get scrubs anyways because the screen gives an error number and I need that 🤣😅

God I feel like this is my first day here. Luckily I KINDA know where to go 😅😅

I’ll be going to the gym sooner than normal.

I just paid all the bills including the Illegal Revenue Service 🤣🤣🤣. I thought it would take me two more paydays but with my new income (🤯🤯🤯) I could pay it off in 2 weeks. What I don’t want is to pay it off and use my credit card to get by til the next payday after that. I mean, I could easily pay that off then and they’re less scary the the Illegal Revenue Service so it is possible I choose that route in two weeks. I put a little more in each of my bills (I rounded up $5 for each bill basically) but that’s only like $25 so it’s not so significant to go in and retract that to give to them.

Boss man called off yesterday as his wife’s dad passed away Tuesday night. He lives halfway around the world and died at age 92. Boss man will be off again today for wifey in distress, but even yesterday he was actively working from home. Hard not to when you carry the load of shit getting done. Today I go to the hospital campus and I have no idea where to go lol. He group chatted me in with some people to ensure I could get to where I need. Overall I’m a little worried. But next Friday boss man is off (I think it was to visit dying father in law) so either way I wouldn’t have been ready and know where to go. I’ll be working on billing out shit, and trying to avoid 70 year old coworker who works there on Fridays like I do (but I’m in an office and she’s putting stuff away).

It feels good to know bills are overpaid and I’m able to to to next payday with some cushion. Sadly if I had ANY debt (After paying off the Illegals Revenue Service and not including my car payment) I can afford to move out!!!! I don’t want to and I don’t need to (obviously financially I don’t want to) but it’s good to know I could, sadly because I work in another state I will continue to owe but my state doesn’t pay as good and what I have to pay to my state, I still make more than if I worked in my state so it’s not worth it at all).

I don’t know where or doing what, but I do hope to find something away from patients making good money from the position I’m in. The company is making cuts everywhere in leadership roles and I think out of all the people with a masters that I work with, I would already be the most skilled (because the two people are NOT the type to bring people together and group talk and team gather and enforce things, they’re mousy people). But since boss man isn’t able to move up, nobody does. And I have to be here 6 months minimal before a job transfer within which is their policy anyways.

People also type up what they want and the boss man or another coworker orders that off the shared spreadsheet (doesn’t seem to always make it here lmfao) so it’s nice to not have to be relied on to order from there.

Or people have told me what they need then I order and they put it on the list I don’t look at (that’s happened for a few items but they’ve reassured me it’ll get used).

Below cut is a side quest I taught myself - making labels. Took way too long to figure out - I think an hour 😅) but I like organization and pretty things.

And another basement bathroom visit. This is the second cockroach that’s in my stall some of yall wanted to see since the other one was “small”.

And HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I only got one hour of overtime in the two weeks.

I’m making an extra $450 that I’m not used to!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!

I have been leaning on my credit card the past few days (nothing crazy but I’ve overpaid the irs to just get rid of them) so I’ll catch up on my credit card this payday, still pay the IRS a good amount and then have even more left that I’m not used to which will carry me to next payday. I think I will need another two paydays(not including this one) to pay off the irs.

I have supplies I need work to buy me but finding so many things for free has helped them out a lot they just don’t know it. I know everything will eventually not be worth it since I’ll have it all memorized but I need to learn it. And I may not have it memorized considering my brain will lose it if I don’t constantly order things in each way we do them.

He has 10 years of knowledge. I need to chill and I know it.

The extra money after paying the irs is going to my savings account. I’ll figure it all out to the penny when I get to finally have them paid off. Til then I’m not gonna thing about it since anything can happen 😅🙄.

1) I’m swollen everywhere. My forearms are huge!!

2) everyone on the road is a terrible driver and either annoys me or pisses me off.

3) everything at work makes me angry or wanna cry.

4) My food choices are great or a complete loss, there is no balance of it.

70 year old coworker wasted an entire hour of me having my boss to myself for training. He was here a while 3 hours. So I only got 2 hours. In the 3 he was here the amount of phone calls interrupting me getting the COMPLETE details of me learning something new made it worse after he left. I had to call him far too many times it was stressing me out and I felt horrible. I only did 2 of 3, because he’s supposed to be with me tomorrow and if the computer gives me issues I need him to lean on. I just do.

He’s completely understanding and calm and patient and doesn’t like how I try to be perfect right away. But the issue is this: everyone calls him for everything. If anything is wrong they call him. The doctors, the nurses, other employees who “need him to know what his staff are up to”, an order is wrong, then his wife because her car is 4 years old and is having oil line issues and leaks oil and her 92 year old dad is dying in Australia (where she’s from).

Just….everything all the time. And I have to be patient and wait in between calls. It’s fucking annoying. And then he leaves and deals with all that and more because he’s in person. We both know my training is going to be ongoing for a good few months because the two locations operate differently. He also realized how great I am at keeping shit ordered and everyone feels comfortable enough to come to me for things needing ordered. What this means is that here soon I won’t need to order so much (today was bad because I accidentally somehow ordered 60 boxes when I wanted 6. There’s 5 pack in each box. Which would still be too much when this place was running its normal amount, but it would have been kinda worth it 😅, so you can imagine how much shit I’m stuck with. And I’m very regretful but we have ALL done it.

Anyways. It’s taken some time typing this up while watching my go to movie (Shrek) and eating sushi I got on the way home. So I’ve calmed down.

I’m super glad I went on floor 4 because the maintenance crew locked it down again (probably cuz I ran into them 🙄). I only used 3 binders but the other training guides I’ve made need their own. The shit is too confusing and all too different on how to do one thing from the next that binder dividers won’t do it, since each instruction needs a separate few tabs on how to fix things or find things….its all a lot. And I’m not sifting through a 8 inch binder figuring it all out when I can have 8 binders made correctly of each topic. Maybe it’s my undiagnosed but definitely genetic autism 😅🤣🤷🏼‍♀️.

By 9:15 we were done with all 4 deliveries. Wasn’t as bad as last week and next week I’m hoping for even less (I don’t see why it wouldn’t be). When I say “we” I mean I did 3 carts and the 70 year old was a slowpoke then boss man showed up just as “we” were done and of course 70 year old wanted to linger around FOR AN HOUR in my office with him and I gossiping about everything. The whole time I was trying to distract myself …creating dumb shit to “do”. Finally she left to go “fill” things up… he’s not stupid. She’s milking the clock and probably went to the breakroom.

Anyways. Boss man kept having calls and problems happening at the hospital and I was stressing out. Apparently when you go to order stock there, there are things that are heavy on back order and people’s surgeries get delayed if the stuff isn’t there but it’s stuff we don’t keep on stock. So we have to drive to other locations or have an immediate driver go get it. The hassle. This place is easy. Laid back. I know once upon a time is was NUTS around here. But I also enjoy everyone here, the building layout is easy.

Over there….its hell. And I’m starting to stress even though I’m like 2-3 months away from having to completely transfer.

THEY OPENED ABANDONED FLOOR 4 back up!!!! That floor has ALL the good office supplies. I need binders, 1/2 inch ones like a crazy amount and there was more than I remembered up there.

I found the extension cord on floor 4 I thought was on 3 so I took it while I could. Needed it for work and now I can’t remember why but I’m keeping it anyways.

Below cut is pile of binders, I cleared one out FROM 2001!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m about to go back to floor 3 for maroon binders to get them if they’re not gross. There were a bunch of men on floor 4 while I was there checking on the flood. I want to see if they’re there. Then I need to finish the 3 assigned bills I was given before 3 when I leave. They take me a long time to get done.

The wonderful thing about having a job in a building that’s half abandoned is the endless supply of bathrooms, or so I thought. Abandoned floors 3,4,5,6 have no running water.

I work on floor 2. Nobody will tell me what the hell floor 1 is and no elevator goes to it. Floor G is the garage. Floor basement….is the basement. I discovered the bathroom is SLIGHTLY kept up with. Water runs, toilet flushes.

Lights changed? 🚫

Dead cockroaches? ✅

This building was built in the 1940s and it’s not been kept up other than peel and stick carpet when needed. I’m not kidding, welcome to this city, welcome to corporate America. There’s asbestos all throughout the building. There are dead cockroaches EVERYWHERE. And after the weekends you come in with a few live ones. It’s why it’s shutting down. Remodel.

Below the cut is my view while doing business. And a close up of a dead “friend”. Yes, I went with the stall door open since the only working light wasn’t above me and the stall was dark as hell. And I can see if someone is coming, though not a long enough warning lol. But it’s a bathroom to 💩 in without anyone smelling you after you leave.

I clock out in 45 minutes. Boss man promises to be here tomorrow but it’s a delivery day for me so my morning is busy unless he’s ok with me not helping. He promised today but then super high up bosses showed up unannounced and that took priority (and I’m glad he was there when they arrived so he could defend what he needed to explain).

Gym was conquered. Arm and back day. Did the elliptical for as long as I could. I am definitely out of cardio shape according to that thing. 12 minutes today. PMS gets the blame.

I already have a full list of shit to order for work. Some things have been crossed off per the people.

Got asked to track stuff down delivered a month ago. Found it within 5 minutes.

I’m wide awake and energized and apparently big bad people are touring the hospital campus today so boss man hasn’t said if or when he will be here today but last night said he would be bright and early (that’s 8:30 AM his time though he’s at work at 6:00 AM like myself). This is why my training period WITH him has no time limit and all his above are being gracious because I’ve already jumped in and handled shit here but my main job duties over there can’t really have the time and attention when the trainer (boss man) is NEVER allowed to leave because *drama* *people whining and complaining and creating issues/drama*.

One day.

I support this!!!!!!

I hate being a woman but maybe I’ll go to the gym tomorrow since today was a great day physically at work and tomorrow I’ll be sitting on my ass all day with my boss.

Time to find him a birthday card.

Today ended up being very rewarding at the end. Everyone was SO happy to get the items they have been waiting MONTHS for (they were being lied to OR it was accidentally delivered to the wrong location and it was just passed off and ignored. And I’m not doing that. I’m ordering and if the system kicks it back then I’m asking why. That’s it. And I tell them why but that hasn’t happened, we’ve gotten everything ordered. There’s items they’ve needed for 6 months and now they have them they can’t get over it and they’re learning they were obviously ignored.

As happy as they are and the stress is lowered they’re upset that this is going good at the end of them working here. And some of them still haven’t found a job in or out of the company so they’re getting kinda worried. And they all want to stay within the company as they were initially informed would happen. Basically they’re waiting and if they get fired: lawsuit. Which I’m sure the company is trying to push them quitting and if they don’t quit then the company HAS to find jobs OR the fewer the people to fire the lesser the risk of losing too much money lawsuit wise.

Corporate America. Reasons why I stopped trusting corporate America.

I didn’t take any vitamins today. That sucks. But we’re out of water at work til some time tomorrow so we’re all making due 😅🤷🏼‍♀️🤣

I’m finally getting sleepy. I take the adhd in 30 minutes. Last night I struggled around midnight. Some would call it restless leg syndrome and sadly I don’t actually have that and if you do - omfg that shit is horrible. I dozed off right as I almost got out of bed to walk it off.

I get off at 3:00 and it’s just now 1:07. I tried to go to abandoned floors 5,6 but the elevator wouldn’t allow it. 4 was a no. 3 I’ve shopped and dropped and what I want I need nobody to be here for (it’s a giant shredder, I would like to take it home tbh).

I hung out with everyone I could in the breakroom but I don’t want to over sit (impossible to do).

The only thing I could do is walk and find stock to order tomorrow but I have to walk tomorrow anyways. I did write shit I know we will need so I don’t forget it, which means my two hour walk tomorrow will be one.

So I got interrupted typing all that, for 35 minutes more stuff got delivered and more people were asking product questions and we’re all just cruising along.

And boss man just called checking in. All is great over here and I’m off in exactly one hour. I have no reason to milk the clock so I’ll change out of my scrubs probably 245 and clock out right at 3.

We had 5 delivery carts. These things are massive. And all sorts of sized boxes.

I did 4 myself. 70 year old keeps going slower and slower. She’s down the 5 small boxes of the same product and she’s milking it.

I’m sweeting. Plus I had over an hour where I was calling profusely looking for a product a patient is getting implanted RIGHT NOW. It was either the driver when he signed off on it being delivered Friday.

Fuck yeah I did. And she still is emptying those boxes? Sadly boss man doesn’t want to deal with corrective action because it’s one thing he doesn’t have to care about since she will no longer work here in a month. And up til then we won’t be having those insane amount of deliveries so it’s beneficial to me to have her handle the products I don’t know where to put them.

It’s 10:27, all boxes should be empty by now. I even took the majority of the trash down (the rest are those boxes).

I have nothing to do the rest of the day (this is why she milks it so she doesn’t get sent home…but she won’t..and I’ll keep my mouth shut if you wanna sit for an hour or something before going to the hospital and boss man even said he would rather she do that to ensure it’s all done in a timely manner!!)

Was at gym at 2:50 and by 3:36 I couldn’t do anymore. I focused on legs. I hate legs, they’re weak and I know it and I need to just hone in. BUT IT MAKES WALKING SO HARD!!!! Lol

My period starts in like 4 days. Explains the missing half container of cool whip. I should throw the rest out to avoid temptations because I really want ice cream sandwiches but having 9 in the house is too much …..because I suck at control lmao.

Last two episodes of the original Roswell. So sad. For years I always wondered how this series ended and ie owned the DVDs for a year. And it comes down to today 🤣😅.

Work. Dreading it because I don’t want to do the physical portion of it after last Wednesday. Like, I’m aggravated about it. I absolutely do not want to spend my entire day just emptying boxes and have a majority of it be me because 70 year old coworker wants to milk the clock. She wants to stay at this location the most because it’s less work overall for her so when there’s work she wants to do it slowly and avoid going to the hospital (there’s ALWAYS work to do at the hospital so she hates that and she hates that there’s SO many employees).

I get it. Because I also don’t want to do the physical part but she let stock get so low that we need to order so much and we have to put it up. This week we should be pretty good and caught up and the next few weeks we won’t have to do this. And I can focus on learning even more which I REALLY want to do!!!!

Here’s another thing that pisses me off: there’s no training manual or binder. Well, not assembled. Luckily someone went through one thing and screen shot how to do it but was missing parts (I’m wondering if it was made for me specifically). Everything I’ve learned on the computer has been through me detailing each step and taking screen shots to help my brain come back to it when I learn or do other tasks. It’s annoying. And every fucking job doesn’t have a proper training. However!!!!!! I am VERY thankful and greatful that boss man is very patient and is very willing to let me learn the way I know how to and I’ve already proven that’s what works.

Everything with him attached to it on Facebook is unattached. Appears the entire Facebook is deleted.

I can’t be mad about it at all. I’m non existent online. I deleted everything. Every trace. Logged back in to old accounts whenever I rediscovered them, and deleted those.

I changed my number because of J and deleted anyone I deemed not worthy. I remember hesitating over his name but thought it had been at least 10 years since we last spoke. He hadn’t tried to reach out. Even on Facebook when I did exist.

Just odd he would come to mind twice at random in a week. I knew back then in my senior year we liked each other, but we never said anything.

We also discussed after high school happenings and we both knew I wasn’t staying in that state.

I have always believed if the universe puts someone in my life it’s for a reason. If the universe keeps someone away from me then that also says something about them doesn’t it?

My favorite thing I’ve read somewhere in the last few months was something like, “The universe is in control. And when you cut someone out of your life and the universe never lets you run into them then you’ve done the right thing.”

Ha.