Basically a heated rivalry fan blog at this point

and most of the time it's fine. shane's bedtime is 7:30 pm because he is so itty bitty, but yuna and david have always just gone to their room after that so bb just assumed they were also following The Time To Sleep rules.

which is all well and good until nana is visiting while staying with her sister, it's 7:40 pm, and she is just cooing and delighted at bb shane just repeating "night NIGHT" over and over from the doorway to the living room because she is not understanding that this is not him being cute and saying goodnight.

He doesn't get much useful advice and soon the guys are arguing about how long you can pursue someone before it starts getting pathetic. Holmberg is at one end of the spectrum at two weeks ("We're rich professional athletes, man, we shouldn't have to try that hard.") and Wyatt Hayes is on the other at three months ("Maybe she likes you but just doesn't want the WAG lifestyle. You need to prove to her that you see her as a person with her own goals separate from yours.")

Then someone notices that Ilya, despite his wealth of experience, hasn't chimed in yet and asks, "What do you think, Cap?"

"Two years."

The entire room goes still.

"What?"

"Two years," Ilya repeats, completely unashamed. "Is not pathetic to go for what you want. Not if you think they're worth it."

In sync, every person in the room turns to look at Shane, who's pretending to fiddle with the laces on his skates, looking pink-faced and vaguely pleased.

Finally, Holmberg turns to the rookie. "Okay, I guess two years is fine if it's Shane Hollander. Is your girl Shane Hollander?"

The poor rookie has no response to that. His girl is, indeed, not literally Shane Hollander.

"Man, gay people move different," LaPointe mutters.

Alexander who greets David with a handshake and a pat on the shoulder, obviously close enough to stop and chat with David outside of work. And David puts a hand on Ilya's shoulder and goes "This is Ilya", and Alexander's eyes light up. But before Ilya can say anything, Alexander goes "Oh yeah, I recognize you from the pictures!", he smiles and shakes Ilya's hand. "That must have been a fun bareque, David talks about it often."

And Ilya's mind has shut off and is racing a thousend miles at the same time because yeah they did have Yuna and David over at Shane's Cottage this summer for a barbeque, as they have done often, but surely that - why would David have a picture of that on his desk?

He must manage a Thank you or something because Alex still smiles warmly as he tells thr two of them "Well, it was nice to run into you guys, I won't hold you up any longer. Enjoy your family Christmas" and Ilya, through the rushing in his ears, hears David say "Thank you, Alexander. Have a good Christmas as well, give my best to Elaine".

It's not until they're back in the car, groceries in the trunk on the way back to the house, when Ilya turns to David. There are a million things he wants to say, but he ends up blurting out

"You have pictures of me at your office?"

And he doesn't know what he expects David to say. No, this was all a prank orchestrated by my work colleague and me? Yes i do but only because Shane made me? Yuna told me to keep the Hollander-Rozanov brand strong I get five dollars everytime someone mentions your name?

The rational part of his brain knows these are all absurd. He's still not quite ready to be hit with David's completely sincere "Oh, yeah. With you boys on the road so often I like to keep pictures on my desk, you know? Yuna as well, of course. It makes me feel as if I have a part of my family with me even at work."

Like they're fucking, Shane's on his back, head tilted back like he does exposing his neck (normally this is so Ilya has access for kisses). But Ilya's above him just taking in the view. He reaches his hand up without even thinking about it and wraps his long fingers around Shane's throat. He doesn't squeeze, just holds it there. Possessive. Shane tilts his head back down to look at Ilya. He's surprised, probably, they'd never talked about that or done it before.

Ilya immediately thinks he's over-stepped. He tries to let go but Shane grabs his wrist to hold him there. Whispers No, I...I like it. Now it's Ilya's turn to be a little surprised but he's so into it.

Anyway Harris finds Ilya in the gym doing pull-ups or something and Shane is in the background on a treadmill. Harris goes to Ilya "So your most popular question is, Can Ilya Rozanov fight?"

Ilya drops down to the floor and crosses his arms (slightly swollen and sweaty from the pull ups) and mostly fake scowls at the camera, "I see this question all the time because people are very tempted by my very hot husband." He wags a finger at the camera, "But he is mine you cannot take him. I can fight very well." He smirks at the camera now.

Then Shane pops up behind him, having stopped his run, "I can also fight." And Harris is like, "oh no one asked you that Shane."

And Shane shrugs, "No I know, but if they're asking Ilya because they're going to fight him to like, steal me or whatever, they should know I would also fight to stay."

And he also smirks at the camera and Ilya looks at him with such a gooey lovestruck look that it immediately becomes a meme.

Shane is playing with the curls at Ilya's neck. He's laughing at a joke from Luca. He rolls his eyes at a chirp from Ilya who in turn presses an exaggerated kiss to his cheek. He's playing mario kart with Wyatt and Young at some point, all of them yelling and swearing loudly. He's holding Ilya's hand in both of his. He's talking to Harris about going back to the restaurant they went to the other day, you guys want to join us? He's hooking his ankle over Ilya's. He's beaming at Harris as he takes a picture of the couple. He's grinning at something Ilya whispers to him in Russia.

After dinner, Hayden's standing on the patio with a beer in his hand watching as Shane and Ilya chase each other around Bood's yard, a spectacle that is accompanied by loud cheers from the rookies that are watching them. At one point Shane full on tackles Ilya and they end up on the grass laughing and wrestling. Wyatt whoops and shouts "Hollzy Rozy wrestling championship back the fuck on!" joining the rookies, half of them chanting "Rozy" while the other is chanting "Hollzy".

(scurries away)

shane who sat under his dads desk and helped him out with ‘important documents’. his dad ‘needed all these papers folded in perfect halves’, and five year old shane was not gonna disappoint him. he was gonna win at folding papers in half.

(in reality these were just last years invoices that ought to be shredded but shane needn’t know that)

by lunch time he had folded nearly 100 important documents in half and susan the receptionist told him he’s the best paper folder she’s ever met! dad ruffled his hair with pride.

It occurs to Shane that the Metros are a walking, talking, sentient amalgamation of microaggressions. Or just plain aggressions, honestly. He knows his team—his former team. He knows that after a few drinks, Comeau couldn’t be trusted not to ask JJ whether he sacrificed chickens for voodoo rituals. He knows the rookies would ask him what wait staff at Chinese restaurants were saying, despite multiple reminders that a) he’s not Chinese, b) the people working here aren’t necessarily Chinese, and c) someone speaking another language doesn’t mean they’re talking shit about you. He knows at least three of his former teammates would randomly stick a hand in JJ’s hair and ask if he could wash it “like normal people.” He knows that Hayden (well-meaning and generally receptive to criticism, but still lacking in some areas) would direct math questions his way, like he was a human calculator.

Sitting with his new team, with Ilya slightly tipsy and completely relaxed at his side, Shane realizes that he’s just…a guy. He’s any other guy at the table. No one’s checking for him, with him, or on him in particular. When a science or math question comes up, they’re not deferring to him for the answers because he’s Asian and they assume he’s a STEM whiz.

He is, to be clear. He’s an everything whiz. Shane was a straight A student in school and could’ve gone to any university of his choice had hockey not been his goal/passion/obsession. It’s just not because he’s Asian—it’s because Shane Hollander refuses to give or be anything less than his absolute best at anything. His perfectionism runs deep and is quite possibly genetic (yes, Ilya always says, because I have seen how you and your mother play board games), but it has nothing to do with being Japanese.

“Okay,” Bood mutters to himself as he reads the clues again. “Genetic disorder, shortens lifespan. Featured on an episode of Grey’s Anatomy and associated with…stones?”

“Stone disease,” Ilya considers aloud. “That sounds familiar. F-something?”

“Fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva,” Shane and Wyatt say simultaneously.

The table goes silent for a moment before erupting into laughter and questions.

“Why and how do you know that?” Harris shouts over the ruckus. “Who just has that knowledge ready to go?”

The questions are directed at just Shane. The table assumes that Wyatt—known nerd and husband of a physician—can pull random medical knowledge out of thin air on command. Nobody assumes that Shane’s supposed to know everything. Nobody’s disappointed when he doesn’t have the right answer and saying “I thought you guys were supposed to be smart” if he can’t answer a math question correctly in 5 seconds. Harris is genuinely amazed that Shane pulled the answer out of nowhere and curious about where he learned it, instead of just rolling his eyes and saying something like “of course he knows.”

He shrugs. “I fell down a YouTube rabbit hole once.”

Ilya laughs loudly and pulls him in for a sloppy kiss on the cheek. “We should play doctor later. I have this problem with my di—“

Anyone with a name that starts with a “Z”, ends with an “i”, and isn’t some kind of Italian pasta, IS SERIOUS

Because during The Long Game, Ilya decides not to tell Shane because it’s not his secret to tell, and Shane has to find out eventually, right? Wiebe says something like “I’m sure Ilya has told you that I understand a little bit about your situation.” And Shane is thinking like, what, you definitely don’t, you were a mid player at your absolute best. But eventually Wiebe gets the point across and it goes, I think, one of a couple different ways:

One: Shane HATES this information and tries to memory hole it immediately. Shane has had a complicated psychosexual attachment to every hockey coach he’s ever had, which is fine because hockey coaches are straighter than God. Even though both Shane and Wiebe are in happily married monogamous relationships, finding out that it’s actually hypothetically possible for a coach to experience reciprocal attraction to him is the worst thing that’s ever happened.

Two: Finding out that Wiebe is bisexual pushes Shane over the edge into having a meta-textual breakdown. Shane: “It’s fucking ridiculous. It’s absurd! We’re already the gayest team in the league. The gay married team. And now we have a gay coach?” Ilya: “Lubimiy, he is bisexual, do not make me ask Harris to give another PowerPoint presentation on bisexual erasure.”

cut to shane and ilya - in a closet somewhere- clinging to each other so tightly, sobbing tears of joy and happiness.