navigate the ant mounds.

She’s dealt with worse these past few months;   she’ll survive these words, just like she’s survived the countless other arguments they’ve had. They’ve been tense for months   —   it’s difficult to grasp the time she’s been spending in this position with him, especially because she’s not even sure when all this shit actually started. (She knows their predicament started shortly after he came home with that black eye out of the blue, and then ended up in the hospital for the first time.)

Her head leans against the front door of their house, arms folded over her chest as she stares at him. She can hear her words echoing throughout her head, eyes watching as he began making his way to his car   —   which do you love more? Your “job” or me? Because, she feels she already knows the answer but she wants to hear it from him. (All she wants is to fucking hear the words from him   —   she needs to know.) Her stance feels as if she’s sunk into the patio’s flooring, like if she even tried to move an inch, she’d rubber-band right back to where she initially was. Her stomach is churning with nausea because all she wants it to be loved. All she wants is for things to go back to normal but that’s the thing: she barely remembers what normal feels like. She’s put up with so much shit because she loved him. She still does love him. 

“Really?”   Her words taste like acid, burning her tongue when they leave. It feels like yesterday when she got her brothers to follow him in that stupid fucking RV that took up so much space in the driveway   —   she should’ve known the moment he wouldn’t let her inside that something was going on. They followed him as he picked up Mr. White, their old fucking Chemistry teacher, and made their way to the desert. She still has a hard time wrapping her head around it, but at least the fucking RV isn’t here anymore. No, they’ve moved to some Laundry place, according to him.   “If you love me so much then let’s go. We’ve got all the money we could possibly want, we can go anywhere we want   —   let’s fucking go.”   Let’s fucking go before you get caught by the Feds, is what she means to say. There’s an internal war inside her body; the way she sees it: there’s two options being presented in front of her. 

She can stay. She can keep living in this fucking house, pretending nothing is going on and the day the cops come knocking on the door, she can lie and say she knew nothing about all the drugs. Her life will be flipped upside down and she’ll be moving back to Chicago before she knows it, if she’s even legally allowed to. Or she can leave. She walk back inside, pack her bags, and leave before things get worse because she knows things are going to get worse. People always get caught, no matter how hard they try. 

She inhales, sharp and pointed, as her gaze remains still on him. Her family has always been involved in shady shit, but this is new territory for her. A drug empire that’ll land him in federal prison until he dies? At least her brothers are in and out of jail within months. 

Shirley’s always looking for a roundabout way of saying things,   so her forward words cause Luke to raise his brows. Fingers immediately stop fumbling with his tie as he turns around, eyes meeting his older sister’s gaze who’s currently standing in the doorway.   “Yeah?”   He knows she’s saying the truth   —   she was Shirley after all; if she didn’t mean it, she wouldn’t say it. She wasn’t like Theo who’d say anything on her mind, because she was Theo. Shirley would say something under her breath and be on her way, continuing to mumble things until she would eventually explode; Luke would take any compliment he could get from her. (Especially because he can’t even remember the last thing he received a compliment about anything from her.)

He can’t stop the lop-sided smile forming across his face either.

Turning back around, his focus goes back onto his reflection staring back at him in the mirror.   “Thanks, Shirls.”   He moves back to tying his tie, his struggle becoming clearer and clearer with every passing second. On the back of his head, he can feel Shirley’s gaze staring directly into the back of his skull. (He swears, if she had laser vision, she would’ve probably have incinerated him by now; it probably looks like he can’t tie a tie, which he can. That’s one of the few things he remembers Dad teaching him.) After a final attempt, he finally grabs the tie and balls it up in his grip, head craning over his shoulder. 

@antmounds​ (Packie) asked: you do remember that bullets hurt, right?

lucifer sentence starters – still accepting

    He knew this wasn’t anything NEW.

    There was something ROTTEN and untouched just sitting under the surface in that thought, something he didn’t, nor couldn’t, dig too deeply into at the moment.

    Still, Niko had been shot at and been shot before, yet it didn’t make it any less PARALYZING–if only for a moment or two if he WILLED it. Which he often did, trying to push himself to get out of his current situation before he was hit somewhere more FATAL. Yet, as he tried to keep his eyes on the road in front of him and his hands steady on the wheel, it was hard to hold back the drawn out GROAN that surfaced at the feeling of that bullet sitting in his side. FIRE ripping through his skin and muscle, making him clench his teeth as Packie’s words seemed to register.

    “Oh–RIGHT. I forgot. I’m just keeping bullet in because it feels NICE,” he snapped, pausing a moment as he tore the car around another corner. “I’ll lose them, but you will have to drive after.”

    With any luck, it might give him time to stop the blood loss enough to keep him from passing out behind the wheel. At least.

Out the passenger side view mirror,   Packie can see the red and blue lights casting a penumbra across the buildings they just passed. Another botched drug dealer   —   when were the fucking Feds going to stop sticking their noses in places they didn’t belong? (Or the better question should be: when the fuck was Elizabeta going to stop sticking them on botched drug deals.) 

Out of the corner of his left eye, he can see the carmine blood beginning to drip onto the driver side mat resting underneath Niko’s seat from his wound. It’s enough to make Packie wince; he’s been shot a few times before in his life and it hurts like a bitch; the pain never gets easier. Although, he can’t halt the eye roll occurring from the other man’s words.   “Yeah, yeah   —   alright!”   It’s called out as he begins rolling down the window, leaning outwards as he aims the 9MM in his grasp at one of the three cop cars trailing behind them. The trigger is squeezed five times, bullets being fired in their direction   —   he watches as one of the cop car’s swerve to avoid the bullets, screwing up the other’s pathing.

            𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐆𝐘 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐄𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐓𝐎 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐌 𝐇𝐄𝐑 ,  𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐑𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐘 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇  through it.    eyes fixate on nell ,  words fall past her lips ,  && the sinking in her chest only grows worse than it was ten seconds ago or even the entire journey here two days ago.   (  what had happened in that damned house?  the house nell would rant about every time she had the chance , the one she blamed for all of the bad that’s happened.  something wasn’t being told , something no one , who wasn’t looking , couldn’t see–  could she?  )    head turns to focus back on luke ,  his sadness maybe the    𝙻𝙾𝚄𝙳𝙴𝚂𝚃   of them all && how she felt for him . . if only she could take it away━      ❝  at least we can agree one one thing.  this fucking sucks.  ❞    it wasn’t fair , riley tried to reason with herself.   nell had so much more life to live , so much to discover about herself. possibilities presented themselves to her even if she was struggling  && she did this?  something’s    𝖜𝖗𝖔𝖓𝖌.      ;      deep breath is pulled into her chest reluctantly ,  a slight step taken toward opened doors.     ❝  i’m gonna go see her before the service starts.  ❞    says riley calmly , quietly.      ❝  hang back if you can’t go up there , you don’t have too.  i’ll be right back , okay?  ❞   reassuring smile spreads against lips as riley enters the viewing room.   eyes close at the influx of energy ,  deep breath taken into her chest━it was overwhelming , yet a sense of warmth peaks through the clouds && the fog.    it’s nell.    words in passing or given to shirley && any other crain , arms wrapped ‘round them as she steps up to wooden casket.   tears rise in her eyes , a tightness in her chest as she gazes downward :    ❝  hey , nell.  ❞   hand reaches forward to touch against cold , pale skin.     ❝  what’re you trying to tell me . .   ❞   whispered.

It’s not the first time Enid’s asked him to sneak out of Alexandria with him. He figures it won’t be the last either, as long as he doesn’t do anything stupid. Whether that means saying something stupid or doing something stupid is up to him to figure out. (He’s taken it as Enid’s way of saying a date   —   she says otherwise, but he’s picked up on the cues, especially because she doesn’t sneak out with anyone else. It also doesn’t help they spend half the time kissing either, rather than actually killing walkers.)

He’s in the middle of buttoning his favorite blue plaid shirt when Lori’s voice rings through the air, catching him completely off guard. The way he jumps and immediately twists on his feet indicates it.   “Jesus, mom!”   He exclaims, the look on his face expressing his surprise. His gaze flickers from staring at her momentarily to continuing buttoning his shirt, words mumbling quietly underneath his breath as an eye roll follows.  “Glad to know we’ve gotten rid of knocking all together. Thanks, though.”

It’s something they hadn’t discussed yet   —   a thought that had wandered through both of their heads but had never been spoken from either of their mouths. When Dina called a family meeting when they’d both gotten back from a patrol, it was met with groans and sighs from both, but the lingering feeling in both of their guts over something they needed to talk about. 

When the topic was brought up, Ellie could feel the butterflies beginning to form in her stomach   —   she could feel them clawing at her stomach lining, trying to force their way out through her flesh. It was uncomfortable and a feeling she couldn’t push down, no matter how hard she tried. There’s still a part of her that believes she shouldn’t be here. Sure, she’s Dina’s girlfriend, but she’s not the baby’s mother   —   Dina and Jesse are the parents. They’ve had multiple conversations over it, explaining how she is a part of the child’s life and will be a part of their life, but it still doesn’t sit well with her. 

Maybe it’s because she saw Jesse get shot back in Seattle, and for a split moment, she thought she’d have to explain to the child one day how she saw their dad die right in front of her. Or maybe it’s because things haven’t been normal since Seattle. She isn’t sleeping well at night   —   whenever she closes her eyes, she’s brought back to that fucking theater, to the sight of Abby bleeding out right in front of her feet. It always makes her wake up in a sweat, fearing what could have happened in Seattle. 

In a way, they could’ve not been here   —   Abby could’ve killed Jesse, Dina, Tommy. She could’ve killed everyone. It’s a hard pill to swallow and an even harder pill to swallow in this room, gaze moving between the two. 

She barely hears anything Dina says in the whole conversation until the very end: if it’s between me and the baby, choose the baby. It makes Ellie glance up from the carpet she’s been staring at for so long and finally look up at Dina, discomfort evident on her features. She waits a moment, tracing over her girlfriend’s words. They’re hard to keep track of, them trying to slip away from her brain with every passing moment. Teeth sink down on her bottom lip, eyes fluttering shut momentarily before she finally speaks. 

“Okay.”   A pause, a deep breath being inhaled through her nostrils.   “Baby comes first.”   It’s spoken as a reminder to herself, head nodding as she speaks. 

Jesse’s gaze flickers between the two women, his head bobbing in unison with Ellie’s. When he looks at Dina, he doesn’t see his pregnant ex-girlfriend, he sees his best friend   —   the one who’s been around him the longest and knows nearly everything about him. Hell, there’s a chance she knows him better than he knows himself, which is what makes this conversation so hard. It makes him want to storm out of the house because they shouldn’t be having to have this conversation   —   if the world wasn’t so fucked up, they could be having a conversation like a semi-normal family. (None of their situation was normal, though.) They could be arguing over the different colors they painted the nursery’s in their separate homes   —   Jesse painted the nursery blue at his home, Dina and Ellie painted theirs yellow. 

Instead, here they are, talking about if a life or death situation. It makes him nauseous. 

He swallows, a hand running itself through his hair as he juts forward in the chair he’s currently sat in.   “Fuck, Dina. Couldn’t we have had talked about this another time?”   It’s quietly mumbled under his breath but he knows there’s no other conversation they could have. It was a necessity and one he needed to accept, whether he wanted to or not. 

The whole day had been weird   —   maybe it’s why she went to the church celebration in the first place. Whenever things go right for once, she immediately classifies the day as weird: a patrol gone right, no snarky comment from Cat as she walked through town afterwards, no sight of Joel either. It was the perfect day. But nothing can stay perfect forever, something in the night had to go wrong. (It wasn’t even necessarily wrong, it was just everything Ellie had dreaded occurring plopping itself right down in front of her with a bow on top.)

Dina kissing her in the middle of the church, Seth making a comment, Joel threatening to deck Seth in the face, Ellie storming out of the church because she had to get the hell out of there. When she left, there was only one place she knew where she could go: her mom’s house. 

“What isn’t wrong.”   It’s spoken through an exasperated chuckle, hands running themselves down her face. She picks up the mug filled with coffee on the coffee table in front of her, taking a small sip before eyes glance back towards her mother. A deep breath is inhaled.   “You ever have those days where everything is so fucking good but then bam! It just goes to shit? Yeah, that’s today for me.”   An eye roll follows her sentence, fingers setting the cup back on the table. 

“Dina kissed me at the celebration in front of everyone, which I’ve wanted for so damn long, but then I gotta’ remember Jesse’s my best friend. I can’t do that to him, right? Then Seth saw   —   he was drunk   —   said something to Dina, I was about to punch him in the face but then Joel said something to him, which he needs to stay the fuck out of my business! And I told him that, so then he left, and then I left because I was pissed off, and now I’m here.”   She exhales, lips pressing themselves together afterwards. A few moments pass of silence, Ellie’s mind attempting to wrap themselves around the words she just spoke into the universe   —   it was all rambled and jumbled, she barely understood herself. 

joel didn’t die.   upon picking up abby and arriving at the lodge to drop her off to her group, she encourages them to stay through the storm to which joel and tommy politely decline. she then asks for their name, resulting in joel giving her a fake one (which has become a commonly used practice to strangers, considering all joel has done and being the paranoid man he is) and tommy replying with his own. abby recognizes his name from the lead she had and immediately shoots his horse, resulting in it collapsing on top of him before shooting joel in the leg. her and her group proceed to drag joel inside and beat him up, continuously asking for the location of joel miller throughout this process. in the midst of this, ellie manages to arrive and help tommy up, leading to them rescuing joel. they manage to scare abby and her group off, leaving joel in horrible condition and barely alive. they manage to get him back to jackson where he ends up going into a similar state as the winter portion of tlou. there is confirmation from the local doctors saying joel will not survive and everyone should begin saying their goodbyes, which leads to tommy (and ellie shortly after) seeking vengeance for the “inevitable” death of joel. during the trip to seattle, joel (being the joel we all know and love) manages to barely pull through. his injuries are life-changing and he will never be the same. (credit goes to dante ravioli of youtube for this idea. he wrote this as a comment on his tlou2 video as a better way for joel’s death and i changed it in a format where joel can live.)

jesse also didn’t die.   he was rather shot in the shoulder during abby’s arrival at the theater and managed to survive, also being an aid to ellie during this sequence, providing back up fire as abby chases ellie into the backstage area before tending to his own gunshot wound. 

abby died in seattle.   after arriving at the theater and shooting tommy, resulting in the blindness of his right eye and leaving him with mobility problems, she pursues ellie into the backstage area. there is a brawl between the two, resulting in abby breaking ellie’s nose. during this fight, dina runs in while abby is in the middle of choking ellie and is able to stab her in the back, giving ellie a chance to catch her breath and stab abby in the neck. this leads to slicing abby’s throat and letting her bleed out on the ground. there’s a brief moment of sadness and realization that washes over ellie of knowing her innocence is gone. she didn’t kill abby because she had to, she killed abby because she wanted to. it’s a hard pill for ellie to swallow and takes awhile for her to come to terms with. after this sequence is finished, her, jesse, and dina are able to contain the bleeding from tommy’s eye and manage to make their way back to jackson. they invite lev to join them in their travels (they’re aware he doesn’t know anything about the situation besides what abby had told him; he’s not a part of this and they know this) but he refuses, rather choosing to leave seattle all together and go on his own path. 

ellie and dina do not leave jackson for the farm.   upon arriving back at jackson, dina and ellie decide to move in together but stay in jackson to be close to jesse and joel. during dina’s pregnancy, jesse is very much around and active throughout it, and takes up the spare room in their house during the last trimester. ellie is also very much involved in dina’s pregnancy and joel’s recovery process, opting to spend nights at his home often to make sure he’s okay/rekindling their own relationship. towards the end of dina’s pregnancy, while there’s not an explicit wedding, ellie and dina do confess their love towards one another and make it clear they do not want to leave one another, regardless of whatever happens in the future. jesse is happy for the two of them and finds love of his own.