Another Tortured Poet

The Island of Anarchy by E W [E Waterhouse] -

Rare First Edition 1887 Utopian novel which features religious fervor and an anarchist exile community on a south sea island

Before anything else, remember this: everything written here comes from my own personal experiences, beliefs, and the studies I've done throughout my journey. It is not absolute truth, nor is it meant to tell you what you must believe. One of the greatest lessons I've found within Satanism is the importance of thinking for yourself. Question everything. Learn from many sources. Challenge your own beliefs, and come to your own conclusions instead of simply accepting someone else's.

One of the biggest differences I noticed between being a Christian and becoming a Theistic Satanist was how each viewed human nature.

When I was a Christian, I constantly felt like I had to reject what made me human. We all experience emotions and desires that are often difficult or impossible to control completely: anger, temptation, lust, greed, jealousy, fear, sadness, and countless others. In my experience, I was often taught to suppress these feelings rather than understand them. If I felt them, I believed I was sinful. If I acted on them, I believed I was sinful. I was constantly compared to Jesus, a divine figure who, according to Christian belief, lived without sin. To me, comparing ordinary people to a deity felt impossible and deeply unfair.

Human beings make mistakes. Every single one of us. Sometimes they're small, sometimes they're life-changing, but they happen because we're human. Yet I often felt that shame was used instead of compassion. I was told that one mistake could condemn me forever. I had people, many of whom had made their own mistakes, tell me I deserved eternal punishment simply for acting like a normal teenager.

Because of that fear, I spent much of my childhood and teenage years trying to avoid every possible sin. I avoided relationships. I avoided parties. I avoided drinking, smoking, making close friends, and many ordinary experiences because I was terrified of hell. Looking back, I feel that fear stole years of my life.

As my beliefs changed, so did the way I viewed Satan. In my personal spiritual path, I no longer see Satan as the evil being I was taught to fear. Instead, I see him as a figure who encourages questioning authority, seeking knowledge, and refusing blind obedience.

From my perspective, Satan does not expect perfection because perfection is impossible for humans. He understands that people stumble, fail, learn, and grow. Whether someone earns his respect depends on their own actions, honesty, loyalty, and devotion, not on pretending to be flawless.

To me, the difference is simple: one path made me feel ashamed for being human, while the other taught me to accept my humanity, learn from my mistakes, and continue growing instead of living in constant fear.

These are my beliefs alone. I don't expect everyone to agree with them, and I encourage everyone to study, question, and decide for themselves what they believe.

Everything written here reflects my own personal beliefs and experiences.

To me, Satanism is about embracing a rebellious spirit, but not rebellion for the sake of chaos. It is about refusing to live a life dictated by fear, guilt, or the expectations of others. Sadly, I believe many Satanists still find themselves conforming to society's standards because they are afraid of judgment.

Be free, my siblings under Satan.

Stop walking on eggshells. Speak your truth without fear. Stand firm in who you are, and don't let the opinions of others define your worth. Give a symbolic middle finger to anything that tries to keep you small, silent, or ashamed.

Am I encouraging people to be cruel, disrespectful, or reckless? Absolutely not.

Treat others with respect. Live with integrity. But do not allow the crybabies of life to dictate how you think, feel, or express yourself. Your voice deserves to be heard just as much as anyone else's.

And for those of us who are sensitive, myself included, let's grow stronger together through our devotion to Satan. There is no shame in being emotional, but there is strength in learning not to let every insult, criticism, or obstacle break us.

Many of us were raised to be submissive, fearful, and obedient. I choose to rebel against that. I choose confidence over fear, freedom over shame, and self-belief over submission.-Evelyn Sterling

Let us rise through the flames of our Dark Lord, Satan. Let us become unbreakable, unshakable, and unwavering. No longer will we allow others to walk over us or decide who we should be.

Stand proudly. Live authentically. Be fearless.

And before you all come at me telling me I'm wrong and only females can be witches, let me give you a little history of language:

Etymology: The word Witch stems from Old English (5th-12th Century). The masculine form was wicca and the feminine was wicce, but both simply meant "a practitioner of magic". Eventually, these collapsed into the single, genderless noun we use today. So the word Witch is a gender neutral term.

Now let's look at the more romanticised and oft used words of Warlock and Wizard:

Warlock: originated from the old English word wǣrloga, which literally meant "oath-breaker," "traitor," or "deceiver"!!!

Wizard: The Root (wys): Comes from Middle English and Old English, which means "to know", The Suffix (-ard): Often used in English to denote someone who does something to excess or in a negative way (e.g., drunkard or coward). In its earliest form, a "wizard" was essentially someone who was deemed "too wise"

So, in summary:

Witch - a practitioner of magic

Warlock - an oath-breaker, traitor or deceiver

Wizard - too wise

So to all the male Witches out there, keep on keeping on and may your magic serve you well brothers

Before anything else, remember this: everything written here comes from my own experiences, personal beliefs, and the studies I've done throughout my journey. It is not absolute truth, nor is it meant to tell you what you must believe. One of the greatest lessons I've found within Satanism is the importance of thinking for yourself. Question everything. Learn from multiple sources. Challenge your own beliefs, and come to your own conclusions rather than simply accepting someone else's.

An ego-dissolution ritual, sometimes called an "ego death" practice, is a psychological and spiritual exercise intended to temporarily quiet the ego, the part of the mind that clings to identity, labels, fears, and the illusion of being completely separate from everything around us. The purpose is not to erase who you are, but to step beyond the constant chatter of the mind for a short time. In doing so, many people experience greater mental clarity, emotional peace, self-awareness, and a deeper sense of connection with both themselves and the world around them.

To me, this practice holds an important place within my own path of Theistic Satanism, though I believe it can be valuable regardless of what spiritual tradition someone follows, or even if they follow none at all. I see it as a form of personal rebirth. It is an opportunity to let go of old thought patterns, question beliefs you've unconsciously accepted, strengthen your confidence, and learn to trust your own mind rather than relying on the expectations or opinions of others. Through meditation and self-reflection, you can gradually reshape your way of thinking into something calmer, clearer, and more authentic.

The Dissolving Space Meditation

(Approximately 15 to 20 minutes)

This is a simple mindfulness meditation using a technique often called open monitoring. Rather than trying to stop your thoughts, you'll simply observe them. The goal is to recognize that you are not your thoughts. You are the awareness in which those thoughts appear and disappear.

Step One: Prepare Your Space

Sit comfortably with your spine straight but relaxed. Allow your shoulders to soften, and rest your hands naturally on your knees or in your lap.

Close your eyes, or if you prefer, keep a gentle, unfocused gaze a few feet in front of you.

Take a few slow, natural breaths without forcing them.

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Step Two: Ground Yourself in the Present

(First 5 Minutes)

Before exploring the deeper layers of the mind, anchor yourself in the present moment.

Notice the weight of your body resting against the chair, cushion, or floor.

Feel your feet making contact with the ground.

Bring your full attention to your breathing.

Notice the cool sensation of air entering your nose and the warmth as it leaves.

Don't try to control your breathing.

Simply observe it.

Whenever your attention drifts, gently return to your breath without judging yourself.

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Step Three: Become the Observer

(Next 5 Minutes)

Now begin widening your awareness beyond the breath.

Allow thoughts to arise naturally.

Rather than becoming involved in them, imagine they are conversations playing softly in another room.

Watch them come and go.

When a thought appears, quietly acknowledge it with a simple mental label such as:

"Thinking."

"Remembering."

"Planning."

"Judging."

Then allow it to drift away without following it.

As you continue watching your thoughts, notice something important:

If you are able to observe a thought, then you cannot be the thought itself.

You are the awareness watching it appear and disappear.

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Step Four: Dissolve the Boundaries

(Final 5 to 10 Minutes)

Now gently soften the invisible line your mind creates between "you" and everything around you.

Imagine your awareness as an endless, open sky.

Thoughts...

Emotions...

Memories...

Physical sensations...

Each one is simply a cloud drifting across that vast space.

The sky never clings to the clouds.

It simply allows them to pass.

Let yourself rest in that same openness.

Experiment with letting go of the feeling that you exist only behind your eyes.

Instead, notice how sounds, sensations, breathing, thoughts, and silence all arise naturally within one continuous field of awareness.

Nothing needs to be controlled.

Nothing needs to be chased.

Nothing needs to be resisted.

If your mind grabs onto an identity, a worry, or a memory, simply notice it, let it go, and return to the quiet openness.

Simply exist.

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Ending the Meditation

When you feel ready, slowly bring your awareness back to your physical body.

Notice the weight of your body resting where you're seated.

Feel your hands.

Feel your feet.

Gently wiggle your fingers and toes.

Take one final slow breath.

Then slowly open your eyes.

Spend a quiet moment observing how you feel.

Perhaps your mind feels calmer.

Perhaps the world feels slightly quieter.

Or perhaps nothing feels dramatically different at all.

Whatever your experience may be, simply accept it without judgment.