Castiel Has The Phonebox and I Lost My Shoe

Back when this began,

When all the colours began to fade,

And a sense of self-loathing and hatred made their home in my heart and mind.

Back when I first stopped seeing beauty.

Seeing only darkness and self-directed anger.

Back then,

I didn’t realize.

I didn’t realize that I’d be shackled,

Tethered to this miscreated and mutated variation of myself.

A creature suddenly unrecognizable to me.

My inner demons twisting and savaging all good in my life.

Leaving me a rattled mess of confusion and confliction.

Years later she still taunts me.

Sleep a long time thing of the past.

For she punishes me for simple acts.

For thinking things might get better.

She cackles, a haunting sound.

Today I will not fuck up.

Snickers and derisive clapping.

Because she knows.

This abomination of myself knows that I will fail.

She waits for the day,

The day I’ve had enough.

The with my hand bound in chains to a disfigured version itself,

Will malevolently abet my final ruin.

Written by Shay (another.stupid.ape)