anonymous

i love you all, but i need a break for my own sanity. hopefully i’ll be back, but i don’t wanna make any promises. i’m not deleting the blog, just no longer updating or replying to any plots.

if you wanna follow me on my personal, message me and i’ll give it to you so we can stay in touch throughout my hiatus :’)

thank you for understanding. i love you loads.

tbh, this response is the exact reason why i am closing this blog.

i have reached out to multiple people and told them i didn’t enjoy their plots. it’s the reaction i get sometimes that causes my anxiety about the situation and causes me to just not say anything at all and just continuing on with their plot to make them happy. that’s why i cannot continue w this blog. it’s not healthy for me.

and yes, some of my partners do care a lot. some of my partners seem to care more for my plot than their own. some of my partners message me daily about ideas they had for my plot.

BUT, there are the other partners that make me feel they only agreed to a 1x1 rp on this blog to simply have an rp. they (IN MY OPINION) have zero interest in my story. one of the things that stands out the most to me and makes me have these anxious thoughts is when/if i post an ask meme, some of these partners are anonymously sending their own couples and badgering me about when i will post it. but they are never ever sending me ones for my plot. is it selfish of me to want that? yeah, sure, of course it is. but imo, that’s the fun in rp. it’s 2 sided. not just 1 sided. ofc i want to write one for my partners to get into their rp and plot more, but shouldn’t they want to do that for me and my plot? (yeah you can say “well if you write one for them maybe they’ll write one for you” “their just waiting for you to do it first”, and yeah that’s true but why should i have to be the first every time?)

i’ve lost muse for so many plots over the past few months and i’m sorry that i haven’t been very active. my main issue is being too nice to tell people that i no longer have the muse for their plots, so i just go silent so nobody feels left out by me replying to only 1 or 2 plots at a time. i also feel like my plots aren’t cared for, which makes me anxious and sad, which also makes me not want to write anymore because, well, what’s the point?

I set out all the food for you before pecking your lips gently, standing in front of you. “Well, you know how I have been so stressed these last several weeks trying to find a job? I found a job at the gym just a few blocks away and my boss is a super nice older woman so you do not have to worry there. And I am going to be teaching three different dance classes and one of them is a class for children and I am so excited.” I smile brightly at you. “I was so afraid lately because I want to support us just as you do and I hated that I had to leave a job that I loved even though I knew it was the right thing to do because I had to be away from that creep.” I let out a soft sigh.

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I smile happily when holding Ensley in my arms, kissing lightly all over her face before calling out to Arden. “Do not run around too fast there, little one!” I chuckle softly before looking back at you and nodding at you, hoping we could get along and be civil during the holidays for the kids. “Of course. And thank you. I cannot take all the credit, though. I have to admit that I hired a decorator to help me with all of this. I never had much of an eye for this kind of thing and I was always so messy and bad at it. This is something you have always been better at,” I chuckle softly. “I wanted it to look good for you guys, though.”

His eyes widen when you say that you got a new job, his smile so wide that his face hurt. “Oh my god! Katie, that’s great! And even better that your working for a girl!” Harry had no issue with you working with men, but honestly, he was a bit jaded from the last experience. He never wanted anyone making you uncomfortable when he wasn’t there, and yes, he knew that women could make other women uncomfortable as well, but he wasn’t going to dwell too long on any of that unless you brought it to his attention. “babe, that’s amazing, I’m so proud of you!” He leans over and kisses you a few times, smiling as he does so. “I’m gonna miss you being a cute little housewife, but you need a job, I know. I’m so happy for you. I’m also glad it’s close by... your other job was far and I didn’t like you commuting there constantly.”

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*notices your slight lack of reaction but doesn’t think too much of it as I knew this was a lot to take on and it was a big moment for us, just wanting to enjoy it while it lasted* *smiles fondly at your words, chuckling a little and shaking my head as you kiss my stomach, seeing how much you loved this child and he wasn’t even born yet* Mhm, he’s being very active. Think he just likes your voice though if I’m honest, always reacts when you speak to him..*mumbles, grinning a little as I run a finger through your hair* ________________ *looks at you both with anger and hurt in my eyes, seething but also incredibly upset as I thought I was getting somewhere with you but clearly it was all an act* Looks at you with a dark expression* You will regret this…*says darkly before looking at Draco and glaring threatening, knowing he knew what position this put him in, especially knowing his family so well* *storms off in anger, so distraught* -Pansy *eyes widen and stomach sinks so low* Oh fuck fucking fuck…*frowns and rubbing my face in distress* -Draco

Of course he loves me. Who doesn’t love me? *he jokes and smiles, keeping his head close to your stomach, smiling as he feels the kicks again* I wonder if he’s kicking or hitting... if he’s kicking, that means he’s gonna be a footie star just like me. If he’s hitting, well, he might be just as fiesty as me.. either way, he’s gonna be just like me. *he jokes again, just wanting you to laugh. He sits up normally, looking at you* Are we gonna tell the lads?

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I heard you guys pull in so I made my way to the door right after hearing the car doors shut. I open the door to see the three of you standing there, hugging Arden tightly as he ran to me. “Hey there, little buddy. And hello, my little princess,” I say when kissing Ensley’s forehead gently. “Thanks for agreeing to stay,” I say to you, giving you a soft smile before opening the door wider so that you could walk in, taking your bags for you. I let you see all the Christmas decorations that I had set up.

“Oh wow, you’ve made me quite a feast here, babe! Thank you so much.” He smiles at you and his eyes widen when you say you have some good news. “Oh yeah? Well, we can certainly have lunch together. The girls here can take over for a bit while we eat. It might have to be quick, but we can definitely sit and eat together.” He walks over to the two girls who were helping other customers, telling them he was taking a break and that they’d be in charge in his absence. He leads you to the back room and sits at a table with you, waiting to hear your good news.

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*blushes a little as you ask that nodding, biting my lip with a little shrug* She was worried about you, that’s why I got a little bit upset at the dinner with her, it caught me by surprise is all. But I’m glad she said it, gave me something to think about..*grins a little, giggling and kissing your cheek as you cuddle me in* I love her to pieces and she’s going to be so happy. *grins before raising my eyebrows at your words, heart pounding a little as I wanted him to have your last name but knowing that implied so much* Most children have their fathers last name right? I know it may be a bit hasty but if we’re in it for the long haul then I think he should be a Tomlinson..*whispers, a little nervous about it as it implied that we’d marry some day, but also knowing we’d just committed to raising a child together to committing to marriage as well was nothing* Noah William Tomlinson..*smiles brightly* It just fits.

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*breathes an audible sigh of relief as you nod, just needing you close as I pull you in again and kiss you fervently and passionately, pouring all my feelings into the kiss as we hold each other tightly, heart pounding in my chest* -Draco

*I was getting impatient now, Draco having just disappeared and this not looking good on me as we were meant to be the power couple and people were starting to talk* *furrows my brow and a little frustrated as I look around for him, before it clocking that you weren’t here as well* *I wasn’t oblivious, I knew you and Draco had history but I’d assumed you’d ended it but I still kept you on my radar to make sure I had the upper hand* *the fact you seem to have disappeared as well not sitting well with me at all as I leave the great hall and look around in the foyer, noticing a group of students giggling as they gesture to the closet as they walk past, my stomach dropping as I realise what may have happened* *clenches my jaw as I go over to the broom closet and open the door, praying not to find you in here but my blood runs cold when I see you both wrapped around each other and kissing* What the fuck…*whispers out in shock, looking so angry and upset* -Pansy

*so caught up in you, my hands gripping your hips and totally focused on you before the door opens, my eyes widening and jumping back as I see Pansy there, my stomach dropping as our cover had been exposed and knowing there would be many consequences for this, so shocked* -Draco

*Louis smiles brightly at you. He still wasn’t entirely sure if having his last name was the right decision, considering life sometimes got in the way. He probably felt this way because of his father, who was there for his mother until a few weeks after he was born. He knew he’d never be that guy, but he also wasn’t sure if the two of you would marry or stay together just because life changes sometimes. But he wasn’t going to say any of that outlaid; he was just going to enjoy the moment and stay with you and Noah for as long as he can* It does have such a nice ring too it... I really love the name, honestly. Probably because it’s one word away from Louis William Tomlinson. *he laughs, leaning down and pressing a kiss to your stomach, his heart swelling every time he felt the small kicks from inside your stomach* He’s happy too I see.

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