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pup-purgatory

via

asongoftearsandfandoms

Something about being next to the PULL makes this such an ominous sign @ominous-signs

ominous-signs

Official ominous sign

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cyber-corp

in all fairness, toddlers are funny as fuck. babies will cry because they are experiencing at least ten different senses for the first time all at once and it’s a bit overwhelming for them. fair enough. toddlers will make the most wretched sound you’ve ever heard because you wouldn’t let them run out into a car park and die

penny-anna

having a job is very weird bcos by and large your coworkers will be a variety of ages and you will not all be at the same stage of life. your coworker will be like, well I’m off home to spend time with my husband & child, what are you going to do with your evening? and you’re like, well, I plan on playing Rollercoaster Tycoon for as much as it as possible

supervillainny

And you are older than them

captain-price-returns

SENATOR DOWN!!!!

systlin

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

ihonestlydontknowwhattocallthis

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

systlin

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

systlin

Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.

He said the exact same thing, which I did not know before that, so spreading this knowledge.

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scribefindegil

I'm still thinking about the guy who saw me realize my wheelchair wouldn't fit in the elevator because he (also a wheelchair user) was already inside it and immediately quipped, "This elevator ain't accessible enough for the both of us."

oupyfactory

maybe the single funniest twitter comment I've ever seen

perception-filter

ymawgat

your car: *bounces back and forth, defeated, its hood swinging by a mere thread*

my car: *triumphantly leaps six feet in the air, spraying hubcaps in victorious fervor*

mousenemy

What?

chromatic-king

cupcraft

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

aropride

do u like mine

cupcraft

Oh wow.

cupcraft

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know

memewhore

6qubed

I wonder if he made a good impression

hampal

I WAS QUESTIONING EVERY SECOND HALF WAY THROUGH

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hexpatient

me: im disabled and have limits

the smartest most intelligent guy in the world with the most hugest dick ever like so big, like the biggest dick ever, man and also soooo intelligent and thoughtful and just so so intelligent: have you tried pushing yourself?

hexpatient

from my own experience and also from what i hear from others, the issue seems to stem from a fundamental misunderstanding of how i know my limits. i know because i have discovered and tested them. i push them sometimes, carefully. and occasionally i get ok results or at least nothing bad happens. but sometimes something does happen, so i MUST respect my limits.

but when i talk about disability to abled people, they assume its just a bad attitude. like ive defaulted to a "i cant" attitude. and that stems from a fundamental mistrust of disabled people, and the cultural grift of acting like bad things can only exist in the mind. yes i know this is old news. anyways.

phemiec

my doctor literally told me point blank to cancel my gym membership and stop going, and that avoiding pushing myself, even on good days, was the most important thing I could do for my health.

I could have cried because its what I felt all along, I knew that's how my body worked best, but the internal and external shame over being "lazy" is so insane it had me doing things that I knew actively triggered flareups just to avoid the perception of laziness.

casadelanime

imagine you woke up tomorrow and video games had…. disappeared……

yardovich

no……just thinking about it makes me….oooouuhh……….hoo boy…that ones gonna sting in the mornin

ayeforscotland

It appears that all parties with the exception of Restore are not going to entertain Farage’s media circus.

Count Binface - it is your time. People of Clacton, please do the funniest fucking thing that’s happened in UK politics for a while.

ayeforscotland

Shitposting at its finest.

wizardarchetypes

he’s made more than one of these and they’re making me insane because for two days i haven’t been able to stop saying ‘i knew it! he’s a vampire! i knew it! i knew it! he’s a vampire! i knew it! he’s’ (x)

wizardarchetypes

i knew it! he's a vampire! i knew it! i knew it! i knew it, he's a vampire! he's a vampire, i knew it! i knew it! he's a vampire! i knew it!

wizardarchetypes

i knew it! he's a vampire!

fishing-princess

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fishing-princess

Back when I was a redditor (😔) I realized a strange phenomenon. No one cares about your original posts, but if you make the post on another site and screenshot it, people assume it’s a tweet from someone who is known/is funny/etc and the post would do way better

sometiktoksarevalid

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