Master of the Dark Matter
From 2018 to 2020 i worked at this video. Through my disorder, a lot of job and other life. Enjoy and i’ll be glad to see your reaction

if i look back, i am lost
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
One Nice Bug Per Day
wallacepolsom
Peter Solarz

pixel skylines

Kiana Khansmith

⁂

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Not today Justin


blake kathryn
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Xuebing Du
occasionally subtle

★
trying on a metaphor
Cosimo Galluzzi
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Lithuania
seen from United Kingdom

seen from Germany

seen from Singapore

seen from Malaysia
seen from Israel
seen from Sweden

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Malaysia

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Indonesia
seen from United States

seen from Türkiye

seen from Japan
seen from United States
@anntricks
Master of the Dark Matter
From 2018 to 2020 i worked at this video. Through my disorder, a lot of job and other life. Enjoy and i’ll be glad to see your reaction

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Fifteen years ago, the assassin Daud could have warned you about her if you’d bothered to ask. But you were too busy for questions.
Sweet girl. Over time you`ll come to love me.
Delilah’s comments when fighting Emily

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Black moon Lilith
What is Black moon Lilith? Black moon Lilith is the nothingness, the empty space that’s fills the void between the earth and the moon. Knowing your BML will help determine your subconscious side, secretive behavior patterns, sexual wants and needs, seductive traits, repressed anger and possible reason for death. It’s the energy who makes us feel empowered and vulnerable at once.
Who is Black moon Lilith? To sum it up, BML is a bad ass angel who took a stand for her sexual desires, and because of this, she was cast out of Eden for upsetting the dynamics between male and female power. Black moon Lilith is the feminine sexual energy that we are told to hide, uncontrollable lust, dirty thoughts, obsessions, kinks, anger and impulses.
Black moon Lilith in…
Aries Lilith in Aries feels the need to look powerful. They attain this by working out and eating clean. They need to burn their excess energy out in order to relax, by internalizing their abundance of energy this can cause suppressed anger, anxiety, depression, and lack of will power/motivation. They don’t listen to rules and regulations. They come up with the rules. BML in Aries people are usually talented and fast learners, but they can also be fickle. Instead of changing their mind they should learn to focus on one thing at a time and conquer it before moving on. Sexual energy is high, with a need for control and domination, they prefer BDSM, rough sex, adventurous and impulsive sex. Too much of this can lead them too dangerous situations, lack of this can cause unsatisfaction. Find a balance and you’ll be a bedroom god, oh and mind your head as there’s a chance of severe injury in that area.
Taurus A strong attachment to possessions, money, power to attain security. There’s seductive way about BML in Taurus, they have lustful eyes, soft skin, soothing voices and cupids bow lips, because of their pretty features there’s a connection between this sign and sexual/physical abuse, unwanted pregnancies, stuck in bad relationships especially in their youth years. This placement indicates a need for raw, natural connections, they can immerse themselves in music as they’re very in touch with their bodies and rhythm. A few bats of their lashes could leave anyone melting. Sex can involve domination, abuse, drugs, alcohol and money. They shine in bed with someone who they feel comfortable with, and have a love for kitchen counter top intimacy. They have a tendency to have people obsess over them, perhaps even break a few hearts in their younger years. Remember, familiarity isn’t always right… jump into the unknown once in a while.
Gemini A difficult connection between mind, body and soul. Split personalities. Problems with communicating and expressing their true feelings, emotional blockages and dissociate personalities. There’s a strong sexual urge in this sign, when controlled can lead to satisfying sex, when uncontrolled can lead to suppression, anxiety about sex and relationships/intimacy; resulting in prostitution and drug use later on in life. When mind, body and soul are in balance, expression, verbal communication and tech skills are at an all time high. Their words are powerful weapons, and they possess and sharp tongue in conjunct a restless mind. Tendency to combine communication and intimacy… dirty talk, phone and cyber sex. Promiscuity and lies can happen when the mind and heart aren’t working together. LGBTQ’s are higher in this placement.
Cancer Intuitive nature. Seems trust-worthy and kind, gets you to expose your secrets to them and stores them away for later use such as blackmail and emotional manipulation. Can indicate problems at home or feeling like an outcast in their own family, a difficult/distant relationship with either parents and siblings. These people have outstanding memories, able to easily access their past life and reincarnation through meditation, day/night dreaming or intuition. They fear loneliness but find it hard to become emotionally available out of fear of being betrayed. When this placement is channeled at a lower frequency, someone who strives for a peaceful trusting home life might choose to be with someone that won’t make that’s happen by choosing a partner who’s distrusting, abusive, loud, they may have a problematic child, or they themselves cause the chaos at home. Nevertheless, they protect and love their family with their entire life. They love in abundance, and this shows under the sheets. Sex with a Cancer in Lilith will probably leave you falling in love.
Leo Strong need to feel admired, looked up to, frothed over. Will unconsciously run away or close off when they sense rejection. Obsession with creating “meaningful moments” by travelling, communicating, giving, having countless friends.. this obsession can be ego driven to make it seem like they’e living an exciting life; even if the friendships are fake and the travels rip a hole in their wallet. However living life on the edge is what makes them happy. empowered, charismatic, eccentric, magnetic. These people make great artists, actors, musicians or something along the lines of channeling their creativity to an audience. Their love of a good thing can be self destructive if not controlled, tendency to become sex and money addicts, homewreckers, chronic drug users, Most Leo Lilith’s discover their sexuality at a young age and stay sexually active their entire life. They have no problem jumping from one partner to the next… many have multiple partners. There’s a chance they’ll cheat if they aren’t receiving enough attention from their other half.
Virgo A good placement to have Lilith in. These people possess sharp analytical minds… when used at their fullest potential they’ll go far in terms of career and finance. Prone to using work as a source of escapism. Tends to think and analyse their emotions rather then “feel” them. Excels in psychology, medicine, law, teaching and cooking. Fear of vulnerability and letting themselves go. They can appear “up tight” or very prim and proper, when really they’re free spirited and open minded individuals, able to see between the lines of everything, recognize patterns and reasons most people can’t. This leaves them feeling like an outsider or loner. trichotillomania, OCD and eating disorders are common in this placement; there’s a need for systematic control otherwise they become extremely anxious and fidgety. In bed is where a Virgo Lilith really relaxes and goes wild, sex is a way to release tension and they aim too please.. by taking into account of what turns you on and what you enjoy, they’ll make sure to incorporate it into sex. Advice would be too let feelings happen without creating a reason for them, take some risks, and don’t suppress your emotions.
Libra They mirror the actions of those surrounding them, they can be the sweetest person or the coldest person you’ll ever meet… depending on you. They are proud of their fluent allure and charm, they’ve mastered the techniques of seduction and use this to their advantage, possible using it to get something out of someone. These people are often geniuses in many areas… arts, music, law, criminology, and language to name a few. Co-dependency and a need for the perfect lover is strong… leading to abusive/problematic relationships especially in their younger years, as they grow they’re more choosy with whom they give attention too, but their flirty nature and need for attention can cause love affairs in their relationship. Their father tends to be detached or overly protective. As mothers, these people can be verbally abusive, particularly pointing out their children’s flaws.. they have an aloof way of showing their love. In bed, they love BDSM, role play, wine, whipped cream, pretty lingerie and love bites.. spank their ass too lol. If this is your placement, remember not to let anyone else’s thought’s or words affect how you feel. You’re all that you need.
Scorpio REBIRTH is frequent in this placement.. strong, intense relationships with their parents, friends and lovers. They feel the need to completely deteriorate themselves and their SO, mostly driven by passion and emotion. When channeled at a lower frequency their personality can become self destructive, they’ll have their perfect job, partner, and finance one second, then find themselves bankrupt, single and depressed the next.. they need to fall into the depths of rock bottom in order to rise up even higher then before. Sex is their favorite weapon.. they usually posses some fire genitals too ;) Don’t be surprised if they’re throwing you against a wall right before they’re in your pants. Most are fascinated by the occult, black magik, astrology, hypnosis, metaphysical subjects and psychology. They possess the best bullshit detectors, and can sense a good idea of a person within 2 seconds of meeting them. Not by analyzing what they say.. but how they say it and what they don’t say. To them, love isn’t love without jealousy, truth, lies, passion, and extremely kinky sex. All the time (sometimes even involving blood) Chances of anxiety, paranoia, psychotic depression are high. Their ex partner will constantly compare their new spouses to them, because no one will make you feel passion, love, lust, and hate all at once like a Scorpio Lilith
Sagittarius Relies on “luck” to make it in life… and these people are usually quite lucky surprisingly. Rash, gossipy, fickle. Due to their “wanderlust” mindset, there’s a fear of being held down, these people unconsciously try too escape from anything they fear will confine them. This becomes a big problem when the thing they’re trying to escape from is themselves. Escapism outlets include… drugs (especially weed/acid) alcohol, fighting, video games, drawing, fashion, social media. This becomes apparent in relationships. Go travelling with a Sag Lilith. They’ll make the experience the most mystical and eye opening adventure you’ll have. They prefer raw experiences and travels instead of fancy resorts and restaurants. They’ll be the one’s eating what the locals eat, with the locals. They often feel a little different from everyone else,this can lead to depression and/or anxiety. It takes a while for them to realize the rare gifts they have. How connected they are with the universe as a whole… I bet a Sag Lilith has the most philosophical dreams. Prone to being boastful , full of themselves, know-it-all’s though. They need to understand that they’re not always right, and not everyone is out to sabotage them. Sexual partners are usually a different race to them, with a completely different background too. Sex while travelling and meeting their soul mate in another country is high.
Capricorn Someone with Lilith in Capricorn has the mindset of a CEO. They get shit done without help from anyone. And they know it. They can appear extremely intimidating, cold and they pretty much invented the resting bitch face. Many have high positions in terms of career, or they’re self employed. Like the other Earth Lilith’s, there’s a need for financial security, control and empowerment. Infact, they’ll do almost anything to get to the top, even if this includes sleeping with their married bosses. They’ll barely ever let their guard down, and if they do… they’ll beat themselves up for it later on. Their mysterious secretive nature can allure many kinds of people in, it doesn’t take long for you to be trapped under their spell. They like to control or be controlled during love making, and they prefer sex after a few glasses of champagne in a big beautiful bed with expensive bedding, some scented candles and erotic music… then their “other side” (think Christian Grey from 50 Shades) comes out to conquer you. Capricorn Lilith’s are notorious Power trippers… they’ll humiliate their best friend in a crowded room to make themselves feel better and wont give a shit. Prone to acting out in cold ways when they don’t get what they want; the one’s they love the most usually take the brunt of their bad moods.. when their frustration is suppressed it can cause sickness, depression, OCD and paranoia. They might have a few run in’s with mean bosses, jealous friends who use their superiority and success to help them. As children they may have been neglected and abused. As parent’s they’re surprisingly warm, cuddly and protective.. they want their children to have the childhood they never got.
Aquarius These people need freedom. They discover their independent streak from a young age and usually worked for their own money and assets from a young age too. They’re drawn to humanitarian subjects, astrology, numerology and tarot. Tendency to have odd behavioral patterns.. they might have a quirky laugh, a potty mouth, they mutter things under their breath to “make a mental note” something about them is different and it’s this why people are so fascinated by them. Aquarius Lilith’s are extremely charismatic. They’re the masters of influencing, convincing, spreading a message to a large crowd.. most Aquarius Lilith’s had the opportunity to travel from a young age; enlightening them to the world and differences in humanity, this makes them more wiser and brainier then most, but they keep that a secret. They have very active minds, this makes them prone to insomnia and depending on the other placements in their birth chart; Schizophrenia is more common here. They fear losing their independence and self identity, so they need someone who’ll let them roam and explore without being clingy or emotional. Emotions aren’t a huge deal here, they’ll come up with a logical reason for almost every emotion they feel. And if they can’t, they’ll let it go. Among the more sexually open, these individuals value every kind of sexual kink, desire and fantasy’s, they prefer exciting sex to mundane. Most are chronic masterbators because they’re capable of having multiple orgasms. Dark side includes detachment, disassociation, suppression, alienation, and escapism.
Pisces Among the more higher frequency’s of BML, Pisces is an intuitive Lilith, capable of interacting with the other side, as they’re easy channels for the spirit realm. They receive messages in dreams, they’ll determine whether someone had a bad childhood just by feeling their energy. Being around negative people and situations heavily drains a BML in Pisces, they’ll need a while to come back from a traumatic experience.. counselling is also preferred. The problems of other people affect them more then anyone else, sometimes using drugs, alcohol and sleep as a way to escape the realities of this harsh world, if they channel this energy into a creative outlet they’ll create magic. Very naive, some in this placement got bullied or taken advantage of as children, and they usually had a bad relationship with one or two siblings because of their innocent kind nature, this progresses as they get older and learn to stick up for themselves. They seduce by sub-missing themselves, appearing innocent and cute , like a little school girl (every dom daddys dream lol) sex is slow, passionate, with gentle touches and lots of foreplay/teasing. They play the victim card a lot though, and emotionally manipulate to get what they want. They’re not as innocent or caring as they may seem. There’s an inability to take charge and confront others here, and will often end up in abusive partnerships most likely with a possessive or controlling partner. Meditation, walking in nature, deep breathing, positive people, cuddles, crystal healing, lucid dreaming, writing, drawing, creating music helps a Pisces Lilith out of their depressive episodes. In their darkest state, they can be psychotic and completely out of touch with reality.. leading to a downward spiral of self destruction. In their superior level, they can heal anyone with their calming energy.
Dishonored
15th of September I downloaded the DLC which named “Death of the Outsider”. And it’s terrific. I’m totally in love. By my opinion, it’s best than second and even first part of the game. For now I like in this game EVERYTHING: the charachters are so emotional involve, the story is unpredictable and a process of the game was optimized because I hav’nt any lags and bugs unlike Dishonored 2.
The second game which i installed recently is “Dream Daddy”. It is really fun for me, because it’s the game about a gay-daddies. And all his heighbourhoods are gay (and daddies) TOO. So, I play on it in English and I understand something like... 70% of all? I think it’s fine, because I get many new words which used in the main in colloquial. For example “Lemme” = Let me and “Geez” = Jeusus. Haaaaard.
Mother
Yesterday I finally escorted my mother to a doctor. She needed medical help quite some time, and had an ache, but a government health clinic just shrugged and gived to her a massage ticket (she had the unidentified hand ache in right hand) . She refused my proposal call to a doctor from a “paid health care” So, I created a plan and I called to my friend, Igor (he’s a doctor) and said to my mother “He woud take us free. Because He’s my friend” And it worked! But, before we got to it, she’ve called to me and said “Ann, I’m late, I’m stuck” (She’s meaned a traffic congestion). My day already was planned, and in that moment I’ve felt very nervious. But everything was fine after all. We were in time. After all Igor said to her, she mustn't drink for a month. My mother became sad; before that she’s told me about the new wine, which she want to taste. And two weeks ago I’ve brought to her the delicious liquor port Porto Valdouro Ruby. My mother really like a wine (like desserts and treats) and it was difficult for her.
Now I hope She listen to Igor and be careful.
Game of Throns
So as long as I decided to write in this blog about things which I watched, re-watched and etc, I think I can talk about shows too, not films only.
With my partner I rewatched GT. Well, he watched first time, I just kept company for him. And I made an interesting discover: the characters of this show REALLY has changed by their life ways. Tyrion wasn’t so dark and Jaime wasn’t so wise. At first Tyrion was a funny and wise half-man, now he is a deep and having more noir charm. When I looked at this charachters (and others too) at the begining in their ways, I felt more respect to George Martin, because In retrospective the develop of characters feel more than ever.
“Her”
After that evening, when I rewatched the Sunshine movie, I pondered about the next film in my list, which I wanted to watch in English. And I picked up “Her”. The difference between the last movie and that, I wasn’t seen this film before. I downloaded it, selected english subtitles and started.
In the movie the action happend in the nearest future. Alone, miserable and going through his own divorce, a man, whos name is Theodore. And she is an OS.
But first things first.
I wanted to start with discribing Teodore’s job. It was a new profession for me. He wrote letters from faces of other persons to other persons. Sounds difficult, isn’t it? And one this fact already showed to us his world, where people are eternely far from each others. “Love between human and OS - seems real for this mad dimension” - so that was my thought.
Outcome of love between an OS and Human wasn’t predictable for me. In the end I have just one thing to say, without spoilers, which spoil all joy from that movie to You.
People think it’s difficult to find a compatible and apropriate subject for thier love, but love is easy and it’s easy for them - to love. And when you finally find and surrender for the mercy of love, you get your simple life, because all problems only is in incompatibility.
So. It’s wrong way. They’re wrong.
And this film is about it. And also about the skill of let go.
(Very difficult skill for me).

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Sunshine
Two days ago I watched a movie again. It’s an amazing movie, with a terrific concept and wonderful acting. Also, I was fascinated by the images of the Sun and a soundtrack. A group of astronauts on a ship, which is called Ikar-2, are accomplishing their mission. The mission is to deliver to our Sun the greatest of Earth’s nuclear stock and explode it into the Sun, because our Sun’ has became weak, pale and almost dying. The mission and the difficulties, which the astronauts face, are considered from different sides. Initially the group has some psychological problems, and they get over them, but then the situation becomes critical and dangerous and everything falls apart slowly. As the plot develops we can see different points of view on the Sun. Is it only one our true God? Is it only a star? Is it the source of life? Or death? Or madness? The soundtrack adds tension to the plot, and this tension is hard, because the soundtrack has been made from the sounds of planets magnetosphere, these sounds emphasizes the action, makes it sharp and takes all our attention.
I’ve seen thins movie three times, and now I like it as much as it’s possible for me.
Our new appartaments
We are preparing for a move from our flat. And I am looking for a new appartament. I think, sooner or later I find it, but I would like to do it as soon as possible6 because this flat already annoying me. All things here fall apart. Today we’re going to Dmitrovskaya station and called on the first appartament, which i found. I really hope it will be nice and last in our list. After that, step by step, we move from here at last. I calm down myself this way.
lazzy ass
So, today isn’t my weekend, but the main part of the day free is from my work and now I feel relaxation. I think, i need it right now. Right now it’s a nesessety for me. Because I’ve been fuckng with my rest for a very long time.
Now I'll go to bed, take a book with me, lie down myself and be just a lazzy ass. And this will be right.
3
I missed 2 days. Well, I have an excuse: I felt really bad. Now I feel better, but not enough for an intense load factors. Maybe I need some rest. Maybe I need a vacation. When was the last time i had one? It was incorporated with my education. And also I had three days two months ago, when we went to the country. But now I understand - it is not enough. So, it’s bad news about my stamina and nervous system. Sad, but true. I need to learn to live with that before all my life is feald with panic attacks.
2!
Tomorrow I’ve woke up very early and now I’m seating at the table, looking at the screen of my computer while my multicooker is cooking breakfast for me. I blame weather behind windows for my early awakening. Again. Really, yesterday we had the rainy and cold weather, now I see sunshine, blue sky and increases of a temperature. Don’t get me wrong, I like getting up early, but getting up early when you’re going to do it, and when it was ahead of schedule, I feel bad.
(It’s the second day in a row when I write to tmblr ~)

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I’m very dissapointed with my level of english, and right now I am trying to fix it. I decided to write one post every day in my tumbler, but I don’t know how it will end, because I know myself very well and I can try... but I am not sure about my Decision. Now I’ve just started. And I hope, it eill bring me the result, because if you do the same things every day, it MUST GIVE YOU A RESULT. May be my posts will be shorter than before, but I think it is worth it.
“miracle Morning”
When I've bought this book, I thought something like "wow, somebody like me!" Because I adore to be sharp and in the good mood when I wake up. But I was dissapointed by this book ... This is an only story about one man and his history of success, which have not depends on the reality (in my opinion, because I am a psychologyst). If YOU realy have trouble with depressed condition or truerly depression, This book may be toxic for you.
And also the first part of the book. It's a realy annoying advertise himself during on the all first part of the book! So, I took my part of profits from this book: I've tried to start meditate for a long time, but I just avoided it. This book realy pushed me to start, but in common it is worthn't this money.