Summary: Leaving your toxic boyfriend seems to be a mission impossible, especially when he shows you just how good you could have it with him every single time.
Words: 4.9k
Warnings: cursing, oral sex F receiving, unprotected penetrative sex, spit, dirty talk, degradation, choking, impact play (slapping), creampie
You help Eren after a tough day at work
Words: 1.3k
Warnings: cursing, oral sex M receiving, spit, unprotected penetrative sex, creampie
Telling Eren you’re pregnant with his kid
Words: 4.8k
Warnings: unprotected penetrative sex, oral sex M receiving, cursing, creampie
Birthday Boy
Pairing: Eren Jaeger x Mikasa Ackerman
Summary: Mikasa gives Eren a present he won’t forget anytime soon.
Summary: Your husband shows his appreciation for you when he pampers you on Mother’s Day, but spoils you with the more exciting surprises later in the night.
Words: 3.6k
Warnings: oral sex M receiving, fingering, unprotected penetrative sex, breeding kink, cursing, pregnancy talk, creampie, sex toys
Comfort Activities
Pairing: Eren Jaeger x Female Reader
Summary: Eren knows the best way to cheer you up.
Words: 2.2k
Warnings: oral sex F receiving, cursing, unprotected penetrative sex, creampie
Take care of you
Pairing: Eren Jaeger x Female Reader
Summary: Eren knows how to exhaust your body in more ways than one.
Word count: 1.6k
Warnings: unprotected penetrative sex, oral sex F receiving, slight choking, creampie, suggestive language
You could’ve just asked
Pairing: Eren Jaeger x Female Reader
Summary: When you feel like your boyfriend doesn’t pay you enough attention, you decide to try and gain it in riskier ways, that end up with you getting even more than you initially wanted.
Word count: 4.3k
Warnings: ROUGH SEX, penetrative sex, impact play (spanking), slight degradation, dirty talk, dub-con (i mean not really), choking, cursing, Eren is a meanie
Lover Boy
Pairing: Eren Jaeger x Female Reader
Summary: Your dysfunctional relationship with a certain green-eyed boy takes a surprising turn when one night, your emotions get the better of the both of you.
Words: 5.7k
Warnings: Oral sex M receiving, penetrative sex, public sex, cursing, dirty talk, mentions of small injury, kind of angsty
With you, like this, all the time Part 1
Pairing: Eren Jaeger x Female Reader
Summary: When your friend Eren helps you out during a time when you feel like you don’t deserve to be happy, you finally realize that he’s always been the best solution to your problem.
Summary: After your intimate night with Eren, you feel like you’re ready to turn a new page in your life. The question is, when your past comes to stir up trouble, can you both handle it?
Word count: 10.6k
Warnings: oral sex M/F receiving, penetrative sex, public sex, dirty talk, cursing, toxic behavior (ex-bf), aggressive behavior, mentions of blood
Series:
What Goes Around
Pairing: Eren Jaeger x Female Reader
Series Summary: Your life is what a lot of people would describe as their dream - constant parties, expensive gifts, fast cars, and money that can last you a lifetime. The facade is a pretty golden one, but underneath, the ugliness always threatens to crack, and you’re tired of trying to constantly prevent that from happening. That is why when you meet a certain 22-year old chauffeur, whose eyes can take all that tiredness away, you begin to re-evaluate every decision that has been made for you in your entire life.
Chapters: 3/? (On-going)
Headcanons:
Eren as a boyfriend
Warnings: NSFW, mentions of rough sex
Eren when you’re pregnant
Warnings: mentions of sex
Eren as a dad
Eren as a dad part 2
Warnings: cunnilingus, mentions of sex
SFW content:
The best Christmas
Pairing: Eren Jaeger x Female Reader
Summary: You spend your first Christmas with your boyfriend, Eren, who’s got more than one surprise up his sleeve.
Words: 3.1k
Birthday Girl
Pairing: Eren Jaeger x Mikasa Ackerman
Summary: Mikasa realizes that sometimes, the most unexpected of things are the ones that bring us the most happiness.
Words: 2.1k
Scars
Pairing: Eren Jaeger x Mikasa Ackerman
Summary: Eren gets mad at himself for having hurt his most precious person in the past.
Words: 1.5k
Eren with a partner with depression
Chocolate kisses
Pairing: Eren Jaeger x Female Reader
Summary: You decide to surprise your best friend, Eren, for his birthday, and the night takes an unexpected turn.
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Anon Ask: Tyz Eren eating Mikasa's pussy into the men's locker room
Summary: Since they began dating, they discovered a few things. One of those being the need to fuck whenever and wherever, only they exist in their world, it was a duty for them to pleasure one another.
Warnings: fluff. jealousy, whiny eremika, territorial eremika, they love each other a lot. nsfw. dry humping, inappropriate touching, oral sex (f. receiving), masturbation, public sex, creampie, choking.
Notes: this will probably be in one of the chapters. it’s a little something because i miss tyz a lot so i needed to write their horny selves. not my best but not my worst either. this is for the thirsty of us out here. i’m happy to be back!!! hope you guys like it.
There was one thing they were eager to try together.
The gym.
Despite their well defined bodies, they were not gym goers, they had done a lot of sports in their youth, from when they were infants till before university. That was pretty much why they did not go to the gym to maintain themselves. The restless sex they had was probably the only thing they were doing to stay fit.
So, they came up with this, after having sex, on how they should try more things to do together. Going to the gym seemed to be their first option.
In the following days they started to look for a place to go, their universities were excluded since in each they needed to be a student. They ended up finding one that had a schedule of 24 hours which worked well with their classes and work.
A week after the first conversation they walked in the gym, signing up for a single day just to see how it would fare.
They separated, each walking their respective locker room and since then the problem in their own heads began to start. There were a lot of good looking people, painfully so, and while secure in one another, they were annoyed with others.
Mikasa got out with only her phone and bottle, wearing leggings but still with a jacket that she would take off later. Eren met her halfway, wearing a simple Nike white T-shirt and black sweatpants. “What should we do first? Warm up?” She nodded and they walked towards the empty spot.
Stretching out in front of each other still felt too much. His eyes were wondering and hers did the same. There were too many positions that he was already willing to try by looking at her alone touching the tip of her feet.
“Stop it.” She scolded but was just as amused. “I will start with the treadmill, hurry up.” She pecked his lips as he did his last warmup.
Taking his phone and bottle from the ground, he didn’t expect to find anyone beside him. But here there was already a girl that he was sure had seen him kissing his girlfriend. “Do you need something?”
She giggled. “I was wondering if you could be my partner, i need someone to spot. I’m Elena, you’re new here, aren’t you?”
He wouldn’t be for long, he was thinking to leave right then, the fact he saw Mikasa taking her sweatshirt off, leaving her in her sports bra and leggings was enough to distract that thought. “Can’t do.” He bluntly said. He tried to take a step to the side just to be blocked.
He was a polite person, but his patience was being tested. “Oh, come on. It’s just a workout, I’m sure your girlfriend won’t mind at all.”
“But I do mind. Get lost, someone is already trying hitting on her.” He muttered the last part, pushing past the girl and into her direction where now a guy their age stayed at the side of her treadmill talking to her.
“You don’t have to lie to me. Let me take you out.” The guy seemed to whine. He heard her sigh from a distance. “I told you already i’m taken.”
“Love?” “‘ren, what took you so long?” She stopped her walk to turn around and kiss him. “Obstacles. Hi there, mate, do you need something?” He asked the guy there. But now flustered, he just stuttered a no and left the scene.
“I don’t like it.” Mikasa said out loud as he started with his walk as well. “Maybe we should have gone on a hike or something.”
He laughed at her cuteness. Mikasa was frustrated, she had told the guy that she was not available more than a couple of times but only when Eren came, he backed off. And, on top of that, she had seen the girl trying to take him.
After about twenty minutes, they decided to start their own programmed routines at a couple of meters of one another, they would get involved only when help was needed.
Eren couldn’t ignore the looks Mikasa was getting as she went for the leg press. His girl was undeniably sexy but the world didn’t need to know, his jaw clenched as he continued on his own, unless someone approached her there was no worry for him. People just had to stay away.
As he finished his arms quickly, he went up to her. “I can’t even be mad at you.” He just said, looking at her, focused, pretty, edible.
“As if. Just try to ignore it. I do that when I see them looking at your crotch.” she said, taking a deep breath after. “Well… crotch is one thing, they are looking from head to toe.” He whined, standing up, reaching for the necklace around her neck. His finger caressed it, then he met her eyes and he felt a jolt in his body.
“Uh-uh, don’t look at me like that.” He let it go, retreating his hand before wrapping it around her. “You know that.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, suddenly feeling his cock slightly hardening. Just one look. He was gone by just one look.
“I didn’t do anything.” She shrugged, she liked the power she had but couldn’t help the mutual feeling starting to light in her. Looking around she felt satisfied at seeing a few girls getting disinterested.
As soon as she finished, Eren accompanied her to spot for her. They were too close to each other, as she prepared he stood there, caressing the bare skin of her stomach, her leg slightly grazed his dick, giving enough indication on how this would end. “Don’t play with me.” She ignored his words, getting into stance by pushing her ass onto him, he took half a step back with his jaw clenched.
He was growing restless, each squat she humped against him, he was sure if he checked he’s find a wet spot right on her pussy. That thought alone made him want to just take her right then and there. “I’m horny.” She whispered.
He grinned fully. “Fuck you.” He chuckled his words, kissing her sweet spot on her neck. Making her back into him dangerously so. He had grown a full boner by then. As her set finished and not even a full hour passed in this gym, he was taking her away. “We’re done out here.” She couldn’t erase the smile on her face, she just watched him drag her into the men’s locker room.
By the time they were in, their lips were eagerly kissing one another, moans and groans going along with the touching, his hand quickly went into her pants finding it exactly how he wanted. Wet and ready for him to take. Laying down his t-shirt on the counter under her, he roughly took her leggings off.
He didn’t think twice in digging into her, his tongue moving around, in and out her pussy, pressing against her clit in the middle of the men’s locker room. Her hand went into his hair, grabbing a fistful of it. She tried to suppress her moans as she felt the pleasure all over her. As her eyes suddenly went to him, she could see his arm moving and the only thought had her close to the edge.
“Not yet, love, you were teasing me too much.” He said, his own hand taking care of his erection while the other held her down as she tried to ride him.
He was now going for single licks from down up, her body was spasming needing to release. “I won’t do it again.” She whined, her hand going to grip his forearm. “Please, Eren, I was just- annoyed. Please!” Her hips tried to lift with no effort.
She let go of his hair as he went up to kiss her. She moaned tasting herself on him, her hand going down to his cock, taking it into her hand, stroking it while rubbing it into her. “I know, we are not coming back here.” He said, thrusting himself into her at once.
He was fast and deep in his thrusts, his hand wrapped around her neck as her body bounced at the force. She moaned in his mouth, marking his back painfully more. There was little she could, she loved when he took charge and pleased her.
It was quick though, a quickie, thrilled from doing it when someone could just walk in and the pent up annoyance of the last forty to fifty minutes in this gym.
Her legs wrapped around him as she came and he thrusted in her the last time, filling her up, kissing her even more fiercely. this woman made him mad. Pulling out was a pain, he tucked himself in helping her down. “Go in the shower, I’ll take care here.” He said collecting their things.
“I don’t have my change.” “I do. I kind of suspected this would happen. Go in, before anyone comes in.” She ran in, he put their things in the duffel bag, taking out his change and her own, that were his clothes technically.
Appropriately so, someone entered the locker room a minute later. He sneaked in the shower, controlling himself from doing anything more when he saw her there. Drying off after the shower she waited there for him to bring her clothes and without worry enough they were able to sneak out the locker room unharmed.
She went to hers, getting her things and they were happily out of there. “This was a failure.” He said as they walked hand in hand. “But it’s another public space added to the list.”
“Shut up. It’s not like we planned all of them. We need more self control.” She said with a pout, the list was getting too long. “You’re laughing but i’m not wearing anything under and that could’ve ended badly.”
“Remind me about that when we get home.” That reminder was enough for him, he was ready for a round two or round one as a quickie couldn’t really count at all. As for anything the gym was a failed tryout.
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Chapter summary: Searching for a path to your forgiveness, Eren yearns to bridge the gap his absence has left in your and your daughter’s lives, realizing how hard it’s going to be with every step of the way.
Words: 14.2k
Chapter 3
A/N: Yeaaah… it’s not like I’m 6 months late lol. I’m sorry for the long wait. I thought about splitting the chapter into two, but then again, you’ve waited for so long, might as well post the whole thing. I’m so very grateful to everyone who asked me about this story. It means a lot because believe me, it is hard to write such complex relationships, so having you have real interest in it means the world.🥹🫶🏻 hope you enjoy it!!
…..
Eren knew the path to your house by heart.
Even though you lived on the other side of town, he still remembered how he would walk you home everyday, and then walk all the way back to his house. It was your “thing”. He never let you go home by yourself.
But now, as he drove his black BMW, that looked absurd as opposed to the quaint streets of your simple town, he realized he never felt this nervous going to your house before. Even when you were teenagers and he’d spend the entire way thinking of a way to kiss you, it didn’t come even close to how anxious he felt at the moment. Because back then, he had nothing to lose. Now, with everything he held dear hanging in the balance, the weight of his fears bore down on him.
He parked his car beside the fence of your house, that looked exactly the same as it did the first time he walked you home. Light blue, with a little marking at the entrance that was his doing. He remembered how he’d taken a red marker and written yours and his initials on it. It wasn’t big enough for your mom to see, but both of you knew it was there. As he stepped outside, his eyes became glued to it. He wondered if Lily ever noticed and perhaps asked you about it.
He looked at the porch, the one he used to kiss you on, and it transported him right back when you were 16. When seeing you walk out the door and towards his arms was the most important thing in the world. He felt like an idiot for ever thinking there was anything else that could come close to that feeling.
His legs carried him to the front door, the familiar creak of the porch serving as a reminder of all the times he’d stood on this threshold, waiting for you. His heart pounded inside his chest as he lifted his hand to knock on your door. The little person that appeared in front of him was not the one he expected to open it.
Lily peered up at him, her eyes curious as she hid half of her tiny body behind the door, only her head peeking behind it.
“Hey there, Lily.” Eren smiled at her, a little nervous as he looked down at his little copy, “Is your mom home?"
Lily continued to stare up at him, ignoring his question with her own, "Who are you?"
Eren froze in his place. How the hell was he supposed to introduce himself?
He swallowed thickly, but still maintained his smile, “About time I told you my name, huh? It’s Eren. I'm-”
"Are you my mom's new boyfriend?" The little girl looked at him skeptically.
Eren found himself at a loss for words by the straightforwardness of the question. He began to think, trying to come up with a response that would answer her curiosity without delving into the complicated nature of his relationship with you.
“No, I’m not. I’m.. an old friend of hers.” The moment the words were uttered, he felt a surge of frustration run through him. You weren’t just friends who’d lost touch over the years. To reduce everything you’d gone through together to a mere friendship that had just faded away felt like a whole new betrayal. But still, as much as he wanted to, Eren knew he couldn’t tell the beautiful little girl in front of him the truth. Not just yet. “I really need to talk to her. Is she here?”
“Lily, I’ve told you not to open the door-“
You appeared in a flash, and Eren could sense your protective instincts kicking in, like a mama bear ready to defend her cub. You were in your bath robe, which made Eren a bit uncomfortable, appearing on a Sunday and catching you off guard. When your eyes landed on him, they widened, but he had to fight his from going down to your collar bones. Don’t, you asshole.
“Hey.” His voice was low and gentle, but that didn’t stop your frown from appearing. He watched as you instructed Lily to go inside, who sent him a smile before telling him bye.
“Bye, Lily.” Seeing her go inside, he wondered when he’d be able to see her beautiful smile again. Like he always wondered if he’d ever be able to see yours.
“Why are you here?” You brought his attention back to you, sensing the guardedness in your voice. Looking at him like he was your enemy, like he wanted to do you harm. He hated it.
“I’m sorry for showing up like this, but I really need to talk to you.” He had the feeling you’d say no, so his first instinct was to cut you off. “Please, Y/n. Just an hour, whenever you can.”
He could only imagine how you must be feeling right now, put on the spot like that. But Eren had no other choice.
You studied him for a moment, your eyes revealing nothing. Eren’s heart was in his throat. He didn’t know if he should say something, plead with you again, or just remain silent. He decided on the latter, even though it was excruciatingly difficult to withstand your penetrating stare.
“You can’t just keep showing up like this. You know that.”
He did. It felt so wrong to disturb your life like this, but his selfishness was stronger than anything else inside of him.
“I know, I’m sorry.” He did his best to stop his voice from wavering. “I won’t bother you, I promise. Just please consider it.”
It felt like hours going by as he waited for you to say something. His fists clenched and unclenched as he struggled to tear his gaze away from you, his eyes drinking in every detail that had been denied to him for so long. He wanted to memorise your face in case you shut the door in his. Here, right now, in this vulnerable state, with your face untouched by make up, your hair casually gathered into a messy bun, body wrapped in your bathrobe. He watched you instinctively trying to shield yourself from him, a physical barrier reflecting the emotional walls that had been erected between you.
But to Eren, you were more beautiful like this than ever before.
“Fine.” The word rung in the air, and it took a second for Eren to grasp it, “Tomorrow, 2p.m., Daisy cafe. It’s my lunch break, so I won’t have an hour.”
His green eyes almost dilated, his face contorting into a smile. He wanted to wrap his arms around you, barely stopping himself. You were giving him a shot. He couldn’t possibly ask for more. “Yeah, sure, of course. Thank you.”
“Okay, then.” You cast your eyes down at your feet. Eren could sense you weren’t comfortable looking at him. “We have to get going, so..”
“Oh, yeah, sorry.” He moved back a bit as if not to intrude your space. “I’ll- I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
“Bye.”
A heart beat later, you’d closed the door.
Eren lingered on your porch for a moment longer, basking in the afterglow of your agreement. His heart drummed a rapid rhythm in his chest, the echo of his pure bliss. You were going to talk to him. That glimmer of hope managed to fuel his determination like nothing else. It was euphoric, almost like he was floating. As he slid into his car, the scene replayed in his mind like a movie scene.
As he navigated the familiar streets, his smile was unwavering, a childlike glee etched on his face. The sudden ring of his phone disrupted the serene silence of the car. The device was new, its number known only to his father, which made the incoming call a curiosity. His mind flickered to the luggage he had left behind at the hotel, intended for his old house. The call, he thought, was likely related to that.
The moment he picked up, he regretted it.
“Hello!?”
Shit.
It was Hange. His manager.
How the hell did she get this number?
“It was about damn time, Eren!”
He sighed. He should’ve known they wouldn’t let go of him that easily.
“What do you want, Hange?”
“What do I want? What do I want!?” Her laughter echoed in the car, but it was laced with bitter irony. “Do you have any idea how much time I spent trying to find you? You bailed out on us and left without so much as an explanation!”
“I think I gave enough of an explanation.”
“Oh, yeah, sorry, I forgot about the “I’m done living this life anymore” crap. Sorry if I didn’t believe you after saying it for the hundredth time without actually doing anything about it.”
“You can believe what you want. The reality is, I’m done.”
A brief silence ensued before she spoke again, her voice unusually grave.
“Eren, are you on drugs again?”
He didn’t know why, but it made him laugh, “Actually, for the first time, I’m as sober as can be.” He took a deep breath before speaking again. He had to end this once and for all. “Hange, I’ve talked to my lawyers. I want out of the contract.”
“You can’t do that, Eren. The contract’s not done for another year!”
“Watch me.”
“Eren, where the hell are yo-“
He ended the call before she could finish her sentence.
He recognised the unfairness of his actions. Hange was a good manager, even though he was sure she’d gone nuts after so many years of dealing with him and his band mates. But if he wanted to get his old life back, he had to leave this one behind. For good.
…..
10 years ago
The last day of school. A day that set you free from the tight grasp of constant homework and irritable teachers. A day that also somehow seemed to amplify the pounding in a certain green eyed boy’s heart as he laid next to you on the lush green grass, the school building mere meters behind you, forgotten for the next three months.
Eren thought tenth grade wasn’t like any other grade before it. It was the most fun he’d ever had at school, and the strange thing was, he didn’t even get into that much trouble. Well, if he really got to think about it, he knew there was a reason behind his change. Ever since that rainy day you opened up to each other for the first time, you’d become inseparable. It was so weird - one day, you didn’t even know that much about each other, then the next - he was walking you home and telling you about his dreams. You did, too. About life and your fears and your hopes. Late night conversations had become a regular occurrence, sharing every little thought, like and dislike with each other. And the best thing was, there was no judgement. It was a safe space between you two, a time when the world faded into the background and it was just you and him, baring your souls to one another. There were nights when the topics were deep and introspective, delving into the complexities of life and the future. Others, the conversations were light-hearted and filled with laughter, going into the early hours of the morning.
Sitting together in class, at lunch, and even after school became the norm for both of you. It was as if you were two pieces of a puzzle, blending seamlessly into each other’s lives. Eren found himself looking forward to each day, eager to see your smile and hear your voice. Your presence brought him a sense of comfort and happiness that he had never experienced before. He admired your strength and your ability to see the beauty in even the smallest things. Your passion for life ignited a fire within him, inspiring him to write about subjects he had never thought of before, like.. love.
Eren couldn't deny the growing feelings he had for you, feelings that went beyond friendship. He found himself captivated by your every word, your every smile, and your every touch. The way his heart raced whenever you were near was a clear indication that his emotions had transformed into something deeper. And, as dense as he seemed, he couldn't help but notice the subtle shifts in your interactions as well. The lingering gazes, the gentle brushes of hands, and the way your laughter seemed to fill the air with an extra sparkle whenever he was around.
But, as much as Eren thought he knew what was hidden behind your actions, he couldn't shake the uncertainty that clouded his mind. He questioned whether you actually felt the same way, whether his heart's desires were reciprocated. The fear of jeopardizing the beautiful connection you shared kept him from confessing his feelings outright.
Yet, the last day of school marked a turning point, a moment when Eren decided to seize the opportunity that the summer break presented. He couldn't bear the thought of spending one more day in the dark, hiding his feelings from you without knowing if there was a chance for something more to happen.
As you both laid next to each other, Eren's heart beat like it never had before. He mustered the courage to take your hand in his, intertwining your fingers together. The touch sent a jolt of electricity through his veins, reassuring him that he was on the right path.
With a trembling voice, he turned to you, his heart on his sleeve. "I've been wanting to tell you something," he waited for you to look at him before he continued, trying not to get lost in the pretty hue of your eyes. "This past year with you has been the best time of my life. You've become my best friend and.. so much more.” His mind repeated that he should turn his face away from yours, or else he might burst into flames. Nonetheless, the grip he had on your hand tightened. Go on, you idiot.
“But Y/n, I.. I haven’t been completely honest with you.”
At that, your eyebrows arched, mouth falling slightly agape in confusion. That’s when you really noticed the redness of his cheeks, the vulnerability in his eyes. It was a look you hadn’t seen on his face before.
"Truth is.. I'm in love with you.” There it was, out in the open. He’d done it. There was no turning back now.
Watching your eyes go wide brought him a kind of anxiety his heart couldn’t handle. His hands had been sweating for the past 5 minutes, and he prayed to god you hadn’t noticed. And if he could get a glimpse of what was inside your mind, he’d realise that indeed, you hadn’t noticed, because there was nothing else that could get your attention except for his confession that was heavily hanging in the air.
Your mind replayed the word what, what, what, over and over again, and you thought about pinching yourself to be absolutely sure this was happening. He was in love with you. Eren just confessed he was in love with you. The boy you’d spent ninety percent of your time with, who’d become your best friend, confidant, shoulder to cry on when your dad forgot to call you on your birthday, who’d made you laugh until you had tears prickling your eyes, who’d walked you home every single day after school even though he didn’t have to, who’d given you his lunch when you didn’t bring one yourself. That Eren. YourEren.
The silence had gone on for too long. The green eyed boy felt the need to fill it, hoping he didn’t screw things up beyond repair.
“But I want you to know I understand if you don't feel the same way. Our friendship means a lot to me, and I don't want to jeopardize that."
You blinked a few times at him, your mind racing, trying to comprehend all the emotions swirling within you. You had to say something, even though your breath was caught in your lungs.
“I..”, you began, unsure of where to go. It was your first experience with.. situations like this. And if the person lying beside you was any other boy, it probably would’ve been a lot easier. But this was him. And because of how much he meant to you, it was scarier than you could’ve imagined.
But even though you were scared, you were also thrilled. Because, the fact of the matter was, you were head over heels for this boy.
“Can I tell you something too?” You asked quietly, eyes unconsciously focused on his lips.
“Of course.”
You didn’t even realise when it was you’d leaned in. But you did. With your lips gently caressing his, for the briefest moment. Then back you were, staring once again at those plump, soft lips you’d just kissed.
Eren’s mind struggled to catch up with what just happened, his stare going back and forth between your cherry lips and pretty eyes. The fact that you initiated this kiss, your first kiss, meant that he wasn’t wrong, that there really was something more between you. It was a validation he had desperately hoped for but never expected to receive.
With great effort, he steadied his breathing and met your gaze, bringing his hand to gently cup your cheek. His touch was tender, timid, but filled with warmth and affection.
"I... didn't expect that," Eren stammered, his voice soft and low. "But,” he gulped, eyes traveling down to your cupid’s bow, “I liked it. I really liked it."
Your cheeks flushed pink, a shy smile tugging at your lips. You turned to your side, facing him fully, and placing your own hand on top of his.
“I’m glad.” You whispered, “because… I’ve been falling for you too.”
You could almost feel the relief of his exhale, as if a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Then a gentle smile, the same one you’d been falling for for the past year, adorned his face. “You have?”
You nodded. “How could I not? Eren, I’ve never thought someone could be so amazing to me.” You leaned in even closer, “I was just scared to admit it because I didn’t want to ruin anything. I was scared there was a chance it was all in my head.”
“Oh, believe me,” Eren rested his forehead against yours, “it’s real. It’s been real for a while now.”
Your heart fluttered at his words, with tiny little butterflies flying around in your stomach and filling your chest with warmth. You couldn’t remember if you’d ever been this happy.
“It was the same with me.” He continued while gently stroking your cheek. “You’ve become such an important part of my life,” the most important, he thought, “that I was terrified I’d screw it all up if I confessed. But trust me, it was freaking torture wondering if you felt the same way. I couldn’t bare the thought of losing you if you didn’t.”
You shook your head, “You could never lose me, Eren. Even if that was the case, which obviously isn’t, I would’ve still been your friend. I’ll always be there for you.”
Eren’s eyes softened. You truly were amazing. “And I’ll always be there for you.”
You stayed like that for a few seconds, staring into each other’s eyes, losing yourselves in them. And then, Eren decided to spontaneously lay a quick kiss on your nose. A spark of joy ignited within you, with your laughter bubbling up, filling the air with its infectious sound.
Eren’s eyes twinkled with delight, “That’s my favourite sound.”
“You always know how to pull it out of me. Even when I don’t want to.”
The moment the sentence was over, Eren couldn’t wait any longer. His hands gently cradled your face, like he was holding the most precious thing in the world. Then he quickly caught your lips in a soft, but passionate kiss, one that was filled with longing, a testament of how long he’d waited to do this. It took every last breath you had. When the kiss ended, you stayed close, your noses barely brushing against each other.
“I’ll make sure you always do.”
…..
Today
4:30. That was what the clock showed when he woke up with tears in his eyes.
He brought his hand to his cheek, feeling the dampness of his skin. Just when he thought he finally got used to it. The painful reminder that even when he was asleep, the ache of missing you still lingered, refusing to fade away.
The memories, so many of them turned dreams, ones that haunted him every night or so, were as real as he could remember. Your face was still as pretty, but your eyes were brighter then. In his dreams, he saw those eyes and the way they sparkled whenever he would gaze at them.
In those dreams, he could almost feel the warmth of your touch, the tenderness of your embrace. They were bittersweet, bringing temporary solace among the daily torment. A cruel reminder of what he had lost, yet they also offered a fleeting respite from the harsh reality of your absence.
But then he remembered. In a couple of hours, he would see you. His sleepy mind had forgotten to remind him of that, that it wasn’t all lost. That even though he wouldn’t get to hug or kiss you, at least he’d get to see you. Hear your voice. He wasn’t a 1000 kilometres away from you anymore, just a few streets.
He sat up in his bed, his dream still fresh in front of his eyes. He leaned against the cupboard and looked up at the ceiling. Did you, too, have dreams like this? He wondered if there were nights where you’d woken up with tears brimming eyes, searching for him while he was god knows where. It tugged at his heart, his fists clenching. He was sure nights like this were a regular occurrence for you after he left. And while you were pregnant..
He slammed his fist into the mattress and closed his eyes shut. He should’ve been there to wipe them, kiss them away, to help you, to love you. But he wasn’t.
“One step at a time, Eren.” His whisper echoed through the room. He had to talk himself out of the self-loathing, out of the guilt that was threatening to consume him if he took one wrong step. He had to believe things could get better.
He got up from his bed and walked to the window, pulling the curtains aside. The city was still asleep, the street lights casting a soft glow on the quiet roads. He took a deep breath, the cold air filling his lungs. He knew it was futile to try and fall asleep again, so instead, his mind began racing with all the possible outcomes of your impending conversation. His heart pounded in his chest as he thought about the words he would say, the apologies he would make. Would you accept them? Would you believe that he was sincere? Or would you turn him away, the pain of his absence still too fresh? He didn’t know any of these things except one that was for sure. He had a long day ahead of him.
…..
“Rise and shine, mama!” A certain cheerful voice rang in your ear. You opened your eyes to see your little girl jumping on your bed, her hair a mess, eyes wide and sparkling, like they always were. You smiled at her, pulling her instantly into a warm embrace.
“Good morning sweetheart,” you murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Lily giggled, wrapping her small hands around your neck, “did you sleep okay?”
“Mhmm,” she nodded her head a couple of times, “I dreamt I was a princess and I had a whole castle allll for myself!”
Your laughter filled the air, “Well, that’s not far from the truth.” You scooped her up into your arms and got out of bed, making your way to her room.
“Tell you what, you make your bed and brush your teeth and I’ll make you some special princess pancakes, okay?”
When you let her down, she rose her tiny thumb up, her face determined, and you had to put your palm in front of your mouth to keep your chuckle in. She was just too cute.
“I want them pink!”
“You got it!”
You turned on your heel, trying to remember where you put the pink food coloring with strawberry flavor you bought for her. You prepared the batter, now being an expert at making quick breakfasts, all the while smiling at your daughter’s excitement. Life was just fuller with her in it.
Lily, having diligently made her bed and brushed her teeth, came running to your side, her eyes fixated on the bowl of pink batter. She bounced on her toes, "Mama, they're going to be the prettiest pancakes ever!"
“They just might.” You gave her a wink and a playful nudge, “But only if her majesty helped me mix the batter.”
Her face lit up at the prospect of helping you, and she eagerly grabbed the wooden spoon you offered her. You held the bowl steady as she stirred, her tongue poking out in concentration.
"Good job, your highness," you praised, ruffling her hair. "Now, let's get these pancakes cooking."
As the pancakes sizzled on the pan, filling the kitchen with a delicious aroma, you took a quick detour to the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth. When you returned, your heart swelled at the sight before you. There was Lily, perched precariously on a kitchen chair, carefully flipping the pancakes with a look of intense concentration on her face.
You really are growing up so fast, you thought. It was a thought that filled you with a profound sense of awe and a hint of melancholy. Your little girl was blossoming before your eyes, and while it was a beautiful sight, it was also a poignant reminder of how fleeting these moments truly were.
As you sat at the table, your attention focused on Lily, her excitement about starting school next week bubbling over in a stream of endless chatter while she ate her pink pancakes, your eyes filled with nothing but love for her. Until you unconsciously glanced to your right, at the chair that remained perpetually empty, and it stirred a pang in your heart. It was a void that has existed ever since she came into your world.
Despite her cheerful demeanor, you knew she was aware that things weren't quite as they should be. You saw it in the wistful look that crossed her face when she saw a child perched high on their father's shoulders. It was there in the longing in her eyes when she watched movies featuring families gathered around the dinner table, laughing and sharing their day. And it was painfully evident in the park, when she'd watch a mother and father swinging their child between them, their laughter echoing in the air.
Yes, your daughter was a happy child, full of life and joy. But there was a part of her world that was incomplete, a piece of the puzzle missing.
What should I do?
It was a question nobody could give an answer to except you. Confusion settled inside your mind like a heavy fog, and you found yourself grappling with a myriad of emotions. But then again, Eren had that kind of effect.
Just talk to him, you repeated to yourself, the words becoming a mantra that guided your resolve. You knew deep down that having a conversation with him was necessary, for your daughter’s sake at least. After all, you had faced and overcome numerous challenges in your life, and this was just another hurdle to navigate. Facing it was the only way to move forward.
One step at a time.
…..
With his third cup of coffee for the day clutched tightly in his hand, Eren couldn't help but notice the slight tremor that had begun to take hold. Perhaps it was the caffeine, or maybe it was the fact that in half an hour, he’d be meeting you. He strolled past the town's library, one hand buried deep in his pocket, the other cradling the diminutive cup of warmth. He observed the streets with an almost alien curiosity, taking in the sights as if for the first time.
This was his first venture into town, a decision his mind tried to dissuade him from, haunted by the prospect of getting recognised and the inevitable gossip that would follow. But he yearned for a taste of normalcy, a fleeting moment of being just another face in the crowd, despite his life being anything but ordinary. So, he ditched his car, and sauntered along the familiar, yet strangely new streets.
Eren was riddled with nerves at the prospect of talking to you, yet when he allowed himself to truly contemplate it, he realized his anticipation outweighed his anxiety. This was it, the moment he’d been waiting for, finally taking place. There was no room for screw ups.
But then again, as much as he pondered on it, he wasn’t quite sure what kind of apology would soften the sternness in your eyes every time you looked at him. I’m sorry for leaving for 7 years and making you gather the pieces.. no, that wasn’t it. I’m the biggest scumbag on the face of the earth. That seemed more fitting.
His thoughts then wandered to Lily. What was she doing at this moment? Did she enjoy drawing? Had she mastered riding a bike? Did she have a favourite sport? A favourite toy? Food? Movie?
He desperately wanted to know the answers to those questions, but he also feared the disappointment that might come with them. He had missed out on so much of her life, and he knew he could never make up for lost time. She looked like such a joyful kid, too.. The last thing he wanted was to screw that up.
The weight of his thoughts and the ticking clock in his mind seemed to drag his steps, making the short distance to your meeting place feel like a marathon. He was seconds from facing the music, facing you, facing the last 7 years.
The bell above the cafe door jingled as he pushed the open, the familiar sound sending a rush of nostalgia through him. This was a place you used to come after school along with your friends, a sanctuary for playing cards, laughing, making plans, escaping the world. Now, it sort of felt like a battleground, the setting for a confrontation that was years in the making.
He scanned the room, wondering if you’d showed up even though he was 20 minutes early, his heart pounding. Then one last glance at the far end table and there you were, sitting in a corner, your hands wrapped around a cup of coffee. When your eyes met his, he could see the wariness in them, the hardened resolve. You looked like you were prepared for this, for whatever he had to say.
He walked over to your table, his steps slow and measured. People were talking around him but it was like he couldn’t hear anything, like everything was silent. The only thing he actually could hear was the rapid beating of his heart as he reached the table and took the seat across from you. His hands trembled slightly as he placed them on the table.
“I thought I was going to be early.” He said, an anxious smile crossing his lips.
“I wanted to get it over with.” The truth was, you didn’t mean to sound so rude. Maybe it was the nerves, but you didn’t intend for your words to be laced with so much iciness. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“No, I get it.” He interjected, trying to sound unaffected, even though your words were like needles to his heart. “Thank you again. For meeting me.”
You nodded once, realizing how hard it was going to be to look him in the eyes. Breathe, your mind repeated. Just breathe. “I meant to ask yesterday. What’s wrong with your eye?”
Shit, he thought. He’d bought concealer yesterday to cover it, but your question meant he didn’t do a good job. No point in lying. “Met Jean the other day. I guess he didn’t miss me much.”
You looked down at your coffee mug, shaking your head. This was just too typical of them. “So.. what did you want to talk about?”
That I miss you so fucking much.
But he couldn’t say that. So, the next most important thing was, “I’m sorry.” He looked you straight in the eyes. “I’m deeply sorry for everything I’ve done to you-“
“I don’t need your apologies, Eren.” You stopped him in his tracks, causing his eyes to widen, “Really, just- don’t.” Your tone suggested no further arguing about it. Eren couldn’t decide which hurt more - the numbness in your voice or the disappointment in your eyes.
“Just tell me what you want.”
As much as it pained him, Eren knew this would most probably be the outcome. He expected his apologies to fall on deaf ears, even though he so desperately wanted, needed, to convince you how sorry he was. But he also needed to thread carefully.
“I.. know this is going to be too sudden for you,” he began, his eyes settled on a tiny drop of coffee on the wooden table, too overwhelmed to look at your face, “but the reason I wanted to talk is because,” spit it out, Eren, “I want to be a part of Lily’s life.”
Silence. Not a word, not a breath. Nothing.
When Eren looked up to catch your expression, he saw a medley of emotions on your face. Surprise, confusion.. maybe even a hint of anger. You took a moment to process his words, that felt like forever to the man sitting in front of you.
“I’m- I’m going to live here from now on, and I want to help you with whatever I can.” He added, trying to convey his sincerity.
You continued to stare at him, your features becoming unreadable. A deep sigh escaped your lips, and you craned your neck to look up at the ceiling. Then you moved your eyes towards him, gripping your cup tightly, “Eren.. Lily has a stable life. I can’t risk you ruining that. I’m sorry.”
The finality of your words made Eren’s heart sink to his stomach. But one thing about him was, he wasn’t giving up without a fight. “Okay, I deserve that. But.. are we just going to pretend like we don’t know each other? Are we going to just pass each other by?”
He struck a nerve.
“You pretended like I never existed and left. So, you tell me.”
Your words hit him like a punch in the gut. One that was long overdue.
“Y/n.. I can’t express to you how much I regret everything that happened back then. And even though you probably won’t believe it, if I had known about Lily, I-“
“So you needed to know about her so you could acknowledge me? Is that it?”
You had a counter for everything he said, and his words only further fuelled the slowly-bubbling anger within you. All the hurt, the betrayal, everything you had felt for so long was resurfacing, even though internally you were fighting to stop it. With much effort, you decided to try and collect yourself. You weren’t going to let him see you lash out.
“Eren, look.. I can’t let her be near a person who can walk away from his responsibilities with the snap of his fingers. This is my daughter and I don’t want her to get hurt.”
“She’s my daughter, too.” The words left a burning feeling in his throat, because he knew he shouldn’t have said that.
“I’m sorry?” The disbelief in your voice was palpable. His daughter? He wanted to be responsible all of a sudden?
“Look, if- if you don’t want me to spend time with her, I won’t put pressure on it. Just let me help with things. I can give you money, I can support you-“
“Money? You think we need your money?” You let out a disbelieving laugh, then quickly gathered your jacket, getting ready to leave. “This is ridiculous.”
“No, wait, please.” Eren reached out, grabbing you by the hand. The contact made you jolt, freezing in place. When you looked up, you were met by his desperate eyes. You stared at them, at the two green orbs he shared with you daughter, and you hated how for the slightest moment, you actually felt bad for him.
“I didn’t meant to sound so forward, I just.. I don’t know how to approach this.”
After a long silence, you pulled your hand away, not harshly, but firmly, and sat back into your seat. “Well, let me help you then. Just don’t approach it at all. Leave it be. It’s been years, and maybe things should be left alone as they are.”
Eren’s face fell. He should’ve expected that, but it still hurt more than he anticipated.
“Y/n, you can’t ask that of me.”
Your hands were shaking. You thought you were ready for this, but now that it was actually happening, you weren’t so sure anymore.
“Okay. What do I tell her? Hm? Hey, baby. I know you’ve always wondered who your dad is, and I know you haven’t ever met him, but the other day we bumped into him at the store, and now he wants us to be one big, happy family. Does that sound good?”
Eren winced at your words, the harsh reality of the situation hitting him like a truck. It was like he was in a maze that he was desperately trying to find the right path to, but that always ended in failure.
“You don’t get it, do you? You’re going to stir up her life. I can’t let you do that.”
“I know it’ll be hard.” He began quietly, “I also know it’s not fair to put all that pressure on you. The last thing I want is to make your lives harder. I want the opposite.”
“Good. Then it’s better if you stay away.” You were talking to hurt him now, and you knew it. “Anyway, you say you’re going to live here from now on. Why? How is your celebrity life going to fit in a small place like this?”
His answer was instantaneous, “I’m done with all that.”
A few moments were needed for you to process his words. “Oh. Oh, okay. You’re done with it. And now you think you can just causally stroll back in here like the last years didn’t happen?”
“No, I- listen, it’s not like that-“
“Then how is it, Eren?“
You noticed a few heads turning towards your table, realizing you’d been raising your voice. It was clear that emotions were running high for both of you, and you were aware that wouldn’t amount to anything good. Eren was hunched forward on the table, almost like a little kid seeking some kind of comfort.
“I couldn’t live like that anymore. I needed to come home.” His voice was so low, you barely heard it. Then he rose his head up, his eyes pleading, begging for you to believe him, “I swear, it’s been like that for a while. It’s just- it’s not that easy to get away from it. I did, though. It’s over.”
You leaned your head on your hands, and closed your eyes shut. Thousands of emotions threatened to swallow you whole. You took in everything he said and tried to make sense of it. But how do you trust someone who left you like you meant nothing and never looked back? You couldn’t let that happen to Lily. You’d rather anything else than letting someone hurt her that way.
“How do I know that you won’t go on tour and not come back for the next 7 years?”
“If I do that, you can always send Jean or my dad my way. I bet they’ll be real happy to put an end to me.”
“You think this is funny?”
Eren shook his head. “I am done. I was miserable leading that life. It’s over, Y/n. Truly.”
Silence enveloped the space between you and Eren as he could see the confusion etched on your face. A fraction of him held onto the hope that there was the tiniest chance you were considering giving him a shot.
“I just want to get to know her. That’s all I want.” He added, searching for your eyes that were settled on your coffee cup. “It’ll all be on your terms. Whatever you say, that’s what’s going to happen.”
Still silent, you lifted your gaze to meet Eren’s eyes. Oh, how you wanted to believe him. How you wanted to be sure that this man in front of you was someone you could trust with the most precious thing in your life. How you wanted to see the change behind his desperate eyes.
“What do you think?” He probed, his heart on the verge of exploding.
“I don’t know.” Your voice wavered, “I don’t know if I can trust you.”
“Tell me what I need to do, and I’ll do it.”
Then, you saw it. It was like transporting back in time. A glimpse of the boy you fell in love with all those years ago, sitting in front of you, ready to do whatever it took to make it right. It was the look in his eyes, the determination, that almost caught you off guard.
You swallowed thickly, it all becoming too much, “I have to get back to work.”
Quickly, you rose up from your seat, and began rummaging through your purse in search for your wallet.
“No, please, let me.” Eren stood up, reaching to stop you.
You avoided his touch like it would burn you. “I can take care of myself.” You threw some money on the table without counting, wanting to leave before the tears started spilling.
Eren watched helplessly, a storm inside him, one that couldn’t let him decide what to do. Trying to think under the pressure of you leaving, he reached out inside his pocket and gathered a small piece of paper.
“This is my new number.” He held it out to you. “Please, just promise me you’ll consider it.”
His hand hovered in the air between you as you hesitated. You were conflicted, but in the end, you decided to take it. Even if you didn’t call him, leaving him here completely hopeless wasn’t like you. At the end of the day, if it wasn’t for him, you wouldn’t have had Lily. Despite all the hurt and confusion that lingered between the two of you, you couldn't deny the impact he had on your life.
With a heavy sigh, you nodded at Eren, taking the tiny piece of paper in your hand.
Eren's eyes softened, a glimmer of hope shining through his inner storm. In a moments time you were out the door, leaving only the sound of the ringing bell behind you. He stared at your reflection through the window, every inch of his body wanting to chase after you, but his mind knew he shouldn’t. It was all in your hands now. Taking his number indicated a crack in the door, a silver of possibility, but he knew that the slightest pressure could slam the door shut again. So, he just stood still. Helplessness was his only companion for the moment.
…..
Summer, 10 years ago
You’d never actually gone to Eren’s house before. You’d only been to his backyard, having sneaked out one night and stargazed on the grass Mr. Jaeger had freshly moaned, where Eren intertwined your fingers for the first time. You’d spent an hour looking at the stars and thinking of goofy names for the constellations you could barely recognize, giggling every time one of you came up with something particularly silly. He then took you home on his bike, and helped you up the flower ladder that led to your room. If only you’d known how much he wanted to kiss you, even then.
What had changed between then and now was that he had confessed his love for you, which had given you the courage to do the same.
That day, he kissed you on your porch after taking you home like he usually did. It was a long, soft kiss, with his hands cradling your face, a kiss that made your knees wobble and your breath hitch in your throat. You fell asleep thinking about it, about all of it. There was this euphoria that wouldn’t let your smile fade, nor your mind rest. You woke up the next day to a text from him.
Eren💚
“Good morning, beautiful.”
You couldn’t stop your grin from spreading across your face. You pressed your phone against your chest, sighing with content. As you laid there, the morning light filtering through your curtains, you felt a warmth that wasn't just from the sun's rays. It was the warmth of him thinking about you at 8a.m. You typed a response, your fingers dancing across the screen with the same lightness that filled your heart.
“Good morning..❤️ did you sleep okay?”
You hit send, and almost immediately, the little dots that signaled Eren was typing appeared. The anticipation bubbled inside you, a pleasant fizz of excitement that made you sit up in bed, clutching the phone even tighter.
Eren💚
“Didn’t sleep much tbh. Couldn’t stop thinking about yesterday.”
You couldn't help but feel a flutter in your chest at his words. You wanted to say so much, to tell him that he had been in your dreams all night, that the thought of him made the morning seem brighter, but you settled for a response that conveyed your feelings without overwhelming him.
“Me too.. It was the best day I’ve had in a long time.”
You were restless to see his response, watching the screen in anticipation, the seconds of him typing passing like hours in your mind.
Eren💚
“It was the best day I’ve ever had.”
Your heart skipped a beat. Best day he’s ever had. You wanted to write that too but didn’t want to appear too forward. Turns out he was braver than you, which wasn’t a shocker at all.
Eren💚
“I really want to see you. Take you for breakfast?”
Was this how things were going to be from now on? Were you going to be so giddy and excited every time he messaged you? The thought made you smile even wider, and you couldn't type your response fast enough.
“I’d love that. What time should I be ready?”
Then, your phone rang. It was him. Your heart was beating faster than it ever had before. You had to repeat to yourself that this was still your best friend, the boy you’d shared your deepest thoughts and dreams with. But now.. he was something more, and that change seemed to turn you into a person you’d never thought you’d become. That made you nervous but also.. so, so happy.
You quickly picked up, voice timid but filled with warmth, “Hey.”
“Hello, pretty girl.” He was going to be the end of you with those nicknames. “Could you look outside your window for me?”
You blinked a few times, taking you a second to comprehend what he was saying before you jumped out of your bed and ran to your window. There, on the street below, was Eren. He was leaning against his bicycle, phone to his ear, and looking up at your window with that familiar, heart-melting grin.
You couldn't help but laugh, surprise and delight bubbling up inside you. "Eren! What are you doing here so early?" you asked, still holding the phone to your ear, though you were now speaking to him both through the window and the call.
"I wanted to surprise you," he said, his voice coming through the phone and faintly from the street below. "How about we start with that breakfast I mentioned? I couldn't wait until lunch."
Your heart did a somersault. "Give me five minutes!" you exclaimed, already thinking about what you could throw on quickly. You didn't want to keep him waiting.
"Take your time. I'll be right here," he replied, his tone patient and kind.
You ended the call, a smile plastered on your face as you hurried to get ready. You brushed your hair, found your favorite comfortable jeans and a t-shirt, and grabbed a light jacket. After a quick glance in the mirror, you dashed downstairs, your heart pounding with the anticipation of the day ahead. Your mother was in the kitchen, and you faintly heard her ask you where you were going so early.
“Eren and I are having breakfast!” You replied before you opened the front door. When he saw you, Eren pushed off from his bike and walked towards your front door. His eyes were bright, and the morning sun gave his hair a golden hue. "Good morning, for real this time," he said, his voice warm and inviting. He looked so.. ugh, he was the most beautiful boy you’d ever seen. He was wearing a pastel green shirt that made his eyes pop, and his smile was infectious as ever.
“Good morning..” you sounded shyer than you intended, but that seemed to steal another grin from Eren’s handsome face.
“You’re so cute.” He caught your face in his hands and planted a soft kiss on your lips. Your cheeks immediately flushed, and to your dismay, Eren noticed instantly, letting out a loud chuckle. “Are you blushing?”
You looked down at your feet, then hid your head in the crook of his neck. “Shut up..”
Eren laughed again, then brought you back to look him in the eyes, “Y/n, it’s still me, you know.”
“I know that!” You exclaimed, “it’s just.. I’m not used to this yet.”
Eren crooked an eyebrow, trying to hide his smile. “Mhm. You seemed to get used to it pretty quickly yesterday.”
“Oh, shush!” You wrapped your arms around him, and you felt his lips press against your hair.
“We should get going if we want to beat the breakfast rush.”
…..
Daisy’s cafe was as full as you’d expect for a Saturday morning. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee and the sound of light chatter filled the air, welcoming you into its embrace. You found a small table near the window, the perfect spot to enjoy the morning sun. Eren ordered your favorite chocolate chip pancakes without even asking you, the gesture making your heart full. When they came along with the other things you’d ordered, the green-eyed boy watched with an amused expression as you drizzled syrup over the stack, the rich, sweet aroma mingling with the coffee's robust scent.
And then, without any warning, “My mom wants to meet you.”
You almost choked on your first bite. This was unexpected to say the least. Not because of anything else, but because you’d never met his mom before, and you knew about her.. condition. Eren had confided in you about her declining health, but conversations about it were rare, his discomfort in discussing it understandable.
Eren's expression softened, and he reached across the table to take your hand. "Yeah, she's been asking about you," he said gently. "She knows how much you mean to me, and she's been wanting to meet the girl who's captured her son's heart."
Your heart swelled, then you took his hand in yours as well. "Of course, I'd love to meet her," you replied, your voice steady despite the nerves that suddenly fluttered in your stomach. "Whenever you think it's the right time."
“I think it would mean a lot to her, and to me. My dad would be stoked to meet you, too."
You nodded, smiling. The thought of meeting his parents, his mom, especially given her health, felt like a big step.
“We could go today, actually. After breakfast, if that’s okay with you.”
The invitation caught you off guard, but you saw the earnestness in Eren's eyes. This was important to him, and therefore, it was important to you as well.
"Today?" you echoed, giving his hand a gentle squeeze back. The suddenness of the plan made you nervous, but the idea of putting it off didn't feel right either. "Yes, of course. I want to meet them too."
Eren's face lit up with relief. "Great!", he said, his voice filled with excitement that made you happy. "I was talking about you all night yesterday. They’re already in love with you.”
He’d been talking about you. You wanted to jump into his arms right this second. “I hope I live up to their expectations.”
He laughed softly, the sound easing the tension that had built up at the thought of the meeting. "You will. They're going to see what I see in you."
You finished your breakfast, chatting about little things to ease the nerves. Eren told you a bit more about his parents, his childhood memories, and what you might expect. It was comforting to hear him talk so fondly of his family, and it made you even more eager to meet them.
“But Eren, I need to change! I want to look more presentable-“
He reached across the table to put his finger in front of your mouth.
“You’re perfect, okay?”
It was just like him to reassure you in such a direct and heartfelt way. You smiled against his finger, and he reciprocated it.
“Okay, I trust you.”
After breakfast, you hopped on his bicycle, your arms circling his stomach, that was as hard as a rock, and he took off down the street. The ride was relaxing, your head resting against his back, eyes closed, letting yourself feel the summer breeze. As you held onto him, you could feel the muscles in his abdomen flex with each pedal stroke. The air was fresh and crisp, and the gentle rush of the wind against your face was invigorating.
The streets were familiar, yet they seemed different from this perspective, the perspective of your newfound relationship. Everything was more alive and vibrant. You watched as the neighborhood passed by, children playing on the sidewalks, dogs barking in the yards, and the everyday life of the community unfolding around you.
Then, you remembered. The flower farm you worked at was just a few blocks away from Eren’s house, and an idea formed in your mind.
“Hey, stop there.”
Eren glanced over his shoulder, following your gaze to the flower farm. He slowed down and pulled over to the side of the road, coming to a stop. "Here?"
You nodded, dismounting from the bicycle. "Yes, I just thought... maybe I could bring a bouquet for your mom. It's the least I can do, considering she's inviting me into her home."
"That's a really sweet idea," Eren said, his eyes softening. It was moments like this that cemented in his mind why he’d fallen so hard for you. You were just so kind, so thoughtful.. beautiful inside and out. “I’ll wait for you here.”
You quickly made your way into the flower farm, greeted by the familiar scents and colors that always brought you comfort. You selected a few of your favorite blooms, arranging them into a bouquet with care and attention. The colors were vibrant, and you hoped they would bring a smile to Eren's mother's face.
Returning to where Eren waited, you showed him the bouquet. "What do you think?"
"It's beautiful," he said, genuinely impressed. "She's going to love it."
As you approached his parents' house, your heart began to beat a little faster, but you tried to remain calm. When you came to a stop, Eren helped you off the bicycle, his hands steady and warm. You took a moment to compose yourself, smoothing out your clothes and running your fingers through your hair to tame it from the ride.
"Ready?" Eren asked, searching your face for any sign of hesitation.
You nodded, feeling a surge of courage. "Ready.”
Eren led you up the path to the front door, and before he could ring the bell, he looked at you one last time. "Hey," he said, his eyes searching yours. "No matter what, I'm here, okay? And they're going to love you. I know it."
You nodded, squeezing his arm. He rang the bell, and within moments, the door swung open to reveal his mom. Carla Jaeger. The resemblance between mother and son was striking; Eren had inherited her whole face, her eyes and the same kind expression that made you feel instantly at ease.
She gasped when she saw the two of you, and her eyes shone like two beautiful jewels.
“Oh wow. Eren, you didn’t tell me she was that pretty!”
The compliment sent a rush of color to your cheeks, and without thinking, you found yourself drawing closer to Eren, seeking a subtle comfort in his presence. His arm, strong and reassuring, seemed to naturally wrap around you, as if to silently say, 'I've got you.'
“Mom, this is Y/n.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, mrs. Jaeger.” You extended your hand for a handshake, and she took it instantly, holding it with her two frail hands. Her eyes sparkled with delight as she stepped aside to let you both in. "Please, call me Carla," she insisted warmly. "Mrs. Jaeger makes me sound far too formal. You of all people should be able to call me by my first name."
"Thank you, Carla," you replied, appreciating the gesture of intimacy. It was a small thing, but it spoke volumes about her character and how she viewed your relationship with her son. “Eren told me that you loved flowers.”
You extended the bouquet towards her, and her eyes immediately lit up with appreciation. "They’re beautiful, thank you so much," she inspected them thoroughly. "You have a wonderful eye for arrangements. I'll put these in water," Carla said, already moving towards the kitchen. "Please, make yourself at home."
The house was filled with the pleasant hum of a home well-lived in. The walls were adorned with family photos, and the shelves held an array of knick-knacks and books that gave the space a personal touch. It was a home that was clearly cherished, a place where memories were made and treasured.
As Carla led you through the house, Eren stayed close, his hand occasionally brushing against yours in a silent show of support. You could feel his gaze on you from time to time, checking to make sure you were comfortable. She led you to the kitchen, where the aroma of blueberry muffins filled the air. You couldn’t not notice the beautiful vase filled with white lilies, a throwback to your first conversation with Eren.
“Sit yourselves down, I’ll make some coffee. Actually, Y/n, do you drink coffee or tea?”
“Tea would be great, thank you.”
Carla nodded and smiled, moving gracefully around the kitchen to prepare the beverages. "Tea it is," she said. "We have a few different kinds. Any preference?"
As she busied herself with the kettle and the tea selection, Eren pulled out a chair for you at the kitchen table. The domestic scene was heartwarming, and you felt a sense of inclusion. Eren took the seat next to you as Carla placed a steaming mug of tea on the table, along with a small plate of muffins. "Help yourself to the muffins," she encouraged. "I baked them this morning. They're Eren's favorite."
You thanked her and took a muffin, noticing the way Eren's eyes lit up with childlike excitement at the prospect of his mother's homemade treats.
“Well, look who it is.” A male voice filled the room, and you turned to the door to see Mr. Jaeger put his keys on the kitchen counter, his smile on display. “You must be Y/n.”
“It’s nice to meet you, sir.” You stood up to shake his hand, and he gave you a friendly shake.
“There are no “sirs” around here. You can call me Grisha.” He tapped his son on the shoulder, “Eren’s been telling us so much about you.”
“Only good things, I hope.” You gave a nervous laugh.
“The best.” He winked down at his son and Eren shook his head, smiling.
Grisha's easygoing demeanor and the playful interaction between him and Eren helped to further ease any lingering nerves you might have had. The atmosphere in the Jaeger household was one of warmth and joviality, and it was clear that humor and affection were the foundations of their family life.
As Grisha joined the table, Carla brought over another mug for him, and the family settled into a comfortable routine, as if you had always been a part of it.
“Now, do tell us, how did our boy succeed in stealing your heart?”
“Dad!” Eren's protest was half-hearted, his cheeks tinged with a hint of red as his father posed the question that hung in the air, a mix of curiosity and gentle teasing. Grisha's eyes twinkled with mirth, and it was clear that he was enjoying the moment, eager to hear the story from your perspective.
You glanced at Eren, who gave you a small nod, his embarrassment giving way to a look of affection. It was your cue to share the tale, and you took a deep breath, ready to recount the story that had become a cherished memory for both of you.
"Well," you began, a smile spreading across your face as you recalled the details, "it all started in detention, actually."
“Oh, that’s gotta be interesting!”
Grisha's interest was piqued, and Carla leaned in with a look of amused anticipation. Even Eren seemed to settle in, ready to hear your version of the story, despite knowing it all too well.
"Yes, detention," you continued, the smile never leaving your face. "We were both there for completely different reasons. I had accidentally fallen asleep during class, and Eren..."
You looked at him, unsure if you should say the reason for him being there. He looked at his parents, only saying, “Jean."
They both nodded, with Carla rolling her eyes, which led you to believe they were familiar with their antics.
You continued, “Well, I was reading my book when he came up to me, and we started talking. He was interested in it and wanted me to tell him about the story.”
“Can I confess something?” Eren chimed in, “I was more interested in you.”
You playfully nudged him with your shoulder, “You don’t say. Anyway, it was just the two of us, so we came up with a plan and decided to..” you stopped again, biting your lip, realising where the story was going, and the consequences that followed right after.
“Wait, is this about the time Eren locked that grumpy teacher inside his classroom?”
You froze in place, thinking maybe this wasn’t the best story to tell his parents the first time you meet them. Given the fact you were both suspended for an entire week after that, it was probably not the best idea.
“Ugh, I can’t stand that little man!” Carla exclaimed, her previous amusement giving way to a hint of exasperation and a rebellious twinkle in her eye. "Always so sour. I'm not saying I condone what you two did, but I can't say I'm entirely surprised."
You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding, relieved by Carla's reaction. Eren gave you a reassuring look, squeezing your hand gently under the table as if to say, "See, it's okay."
“He’d tried to embarrass Y/n earlier that day. Couldn’t let that one slide.” Eren intercepted, and Grisha let out a laugh.
“Sounds like our boy, alright. Looks like you’ve got quite the knight in shining armour, Y/n.”
You couldn't help but blush at Grisha's comment. Eren's protective nature was one of the things that had drawn you to him in the first place, and it was clear his parents recognized this trait in him too.
"I guess I do," you replied with a smile, looking over at Eren, who was trying to hide his own reddening cheeks.
Eren, recovering from his moment of shyness, added with a playful grin, "Well, I can't have anyone messing with my partner in crime, can I?"
Carla shook her head with a smile, clearly amused by the banter. "Just make sure you two don't end up in actual armor, okay? I don't think I could handle bailing you out of the school dungeon."
The table erupted into laughter, the atmosphere light and full of familial warmth. Then, mrs. Jaeger started coughing, and not the kind of cough a flu could bring. It was long, and the laughter around the table faltered as her coughing grew more severe, her hand coming up to her chest as she tried to catch her breath. The jovial mood quickly shifted to one of concern. Grisha was by her side in an instant, his hand on her back, his expression a mix of worry and calm as he tried to help her through it.
"Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay." Grisha said, his voice steady but tinged with urgency.
Eren was on his feet now, his earlier embarrassment forgotten as he focused on his mother. "Mom, should I get your inhaler?" he asked, ready to spring into action.
Carla managed to nod between coughs, and Eren didn't hesitate. He dashed off into the house as you stood up as well, feeling a bit helpless but wanting to offer support in any way you could.
"It's okay, dear," Carla said between coughs, trying to reassure you and Grisha, though her voice was strained. "This happens sometimes. Just need my inhaler."
Eren returned quickly, out of breath but with the inhaler in hand. He passed it to his mother, who took a deep puff, holding it in before exhaling slowly. After a few moments and a couple more puffs, her coughing began to subside, and her breathing evened out.
"I'm sorry for the scare," Carla said, her voice still a bit weak but steadier now. "I've been dealing with this for a while. Some days are better than others."
Grisha gave her a soft smile, his eyes full of love. "The important thing is that you're okay now," he said.
Eren sat back down, the worry slowly leaving his face as he saw his mother recovering. "Yeah, Mom, you've got to take it easy," he said, the protective nature you admired so much shining through once again.
She waved her son off, “I’m fine, I’m fine.” She then turned to give you a soft smile, “I’m really glad we finally got to meet you, Y/n. Eren’s been different ever since you came into his life. No more going to the principal’s every week or so. You seem to have a good impact on him.”
You exchanged a look with her, one that truly conveyed her gratitude.
Eren smiled, his eyes now on you, “She keeps me in line.”
“Well, he’s been there for me, too. In more ways than one.” Your hand lingered on top of his, and you felt the incredible need to kiss him, but you knew now was not the right time.
Grisha, ever the observer, raised his mug in a mock toast. "To keeping each other in line, then," he said with a chuckle. "Sounds like the secret to a good partnership."
“It does, doesn’t it?” Carla looked at her husband, her eyes shining with fondness and gentle ribbing. "You could let loose from time to time, you know. Life is not only about balance. Sometimes, a little mess is good."
Grisha's eyes met Carla's, and he gave a mock sigh of resignation. "I suppose you're right," he conceded with a playful roll of his eyes. "A little mess never hurt anyone. It's the spice of life, I guess."
Eren watched the exchange with a smile, clearly enjoying the banter between his parents. It was evident that their relationship was built on a strong foundation of love and mutual respect, peppered with the ability to laugh and tease one another.
You couldn't help but smile at the scene before you, feeling a sense of inclusion. The Jaegers were.. they were what truly family was all about. Their ability to embrace life's imperfections, to find humor in the chaos, and to support one another through it all was inspiring. It was a reminder that family wasn’t about being perfect; it was about being there for each other, through the mess and the triumphs alike.
“I think I’m going to start on lunch.” Carla said, but before she could start rummaging through the kitchen drawers, her husband stopped her in her tracks.
“I’m making lunch. You sit down and rest.” He gave her a quick peck on the forehead, then turned to Eren, “Come help me start the barbecue, son.”
Eren kissed your cheek, then got on his feet and followed his father to the backyard. They had a big yard, and it was a sunny day, a perfect time for a barbecue.
As you watched Eren and his dad prepare the grill, the way they moved with an easy familiarity, it was clear that this was a ritual they had shared many times before. The clinking of the tools and the crackling of the fire blended with the sounds of nature in the Jaegers' backyard, creating a symphony of domestic bliss.
Mrs. Jaeger watched as well, with a genuine smile on her face, and yet.. you could sense the sadness in her eyes, a mother's concern that never fully fades even in moments of joy. It was a look that spoke volumes about the love she had for her family and the silent strength she carried within her. She was a beautiful, but frail woman, her big sweater doing nothing to conceal the fragility that seemed to be a part of her very essence. The coughing fit had been a stark reminder of her vulnerability, and it was clear that her health was something that weighed on her mind, as well as on the minds of her family.
“I really meant what I said, Y/n.” The woman spoke, her eyes still glued on her family. “Thank you for being there for him. The last year and a half has been.. challenging. I was afraid he was going to keep spiraling, getting into trouble, but then you came along.”
She was now looking at you you, her gaze filled with gratitude and relief. It was clear that your presence in Eren's life had made a significant impact, not just on him, but on his entire family.
"You've grounded him," Carla continued, her voice soft but earnest. "Helped him not think about.. everything."
You felt a swell of emotion at her words. You knew he was different, you’d seen it, felt it yourself, but hearing it from his own mother meant the world to you.
"I care about him a lot," you replied, meeting her gaze. "And he’s been there for me just as much as I've been there for him. We support each other."
Carla reached out, placing a gentle hand over yours. "That's what it's all about, isn't it?" she said with a smile. "I can see how much you both mean to each other, and it gives me peace of mind to know he has someone like you in his corner."
You nodded your head, your gaze back on the boy who’d stolen your heart, “I want to thank you, too. You’ve done a wonderful job with him. He’s.. everything I could ever ask for.”
“Oh, sweetheart, stop it, you’ll make me emotional!” Carla exclaimed, and you both shared a laugh. Her laughter was a balm to your ears, and as you both settled into a comfortable silence, your thoughts drifted to your own mother. The change in her had been palpable ever since your father left. Where there was once warmth and open communication, there was now a cold distance that seemed to stretch further with each passing day.
Her lively spirit, which used to fill the house with joy and endless chatter, had become withdrawn, her smiles fewer and her conversations clipped. The light in her eyes had dimmed, replaced by a weariness that seemed to weigh down her every movement. She was there, but not in the way she used to be—her presence more like a ghost of the vibrant woman she once was.
You understood her pain, the sense of abandonment and betrayal that must have eaten away at her, but it pained you to see her so altered, so consumed by the shadows of what used to be. You longed for the days when your mother was your confidante and your pillar of strength, not this shell of her former self, moving through the days with a hollowed-out heart.
Sharing this moment with Carla, you were reminded of the stark contrast between the lively, loving atmosphere of the Jaegers and the quiet desolation that had settled over your own home. It made you appreciate the Jaegers' warmth even more and deepened your gratitude for the sense of family they extended to you—a gift that was all the more precious given the void that had formed in your own life.
"Life has a way of throwing us curveballs," The woman before you spoke, as if she could read your thoughts. "But it's how we catch them—or pick them up after they've hit the ground—that really counts."
You nodded, looking down at your tea. “I like how that sounds.” For a moment, you debated if you should confide in her, having met her only today. But there was something about this woman, about her demeanor and outlook on life, that made you feel safe. It was a feeling you hadn't realized you'd been missing until now.
You took a deep breath, feeling the words rise up from within. "My mom... she's been different ever since my dad left. It's like the life has been drained out of her, and I don't know how to bring her back. We were so close before.. I miss her—the way she used to be."
Carla's expression softened, her eyes reflecting a deep empathy. She looked at you like this wasn’t the first time she’d heard that story, probably because Eren had already mentioned it. Which, you were kind of thankful for. It meant he cared enough to seek support for you even when you weren't around, and that Carla was now a willing confidante, ready to offer comfort and advice.
"I’m very sorry to hear that, Y/n. It's never easy, seeing the ones we love change before our eyes," Carla said gently. "But remember, healing is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, patience, and a lot of love. Your mother may seem lost right now, but she's still in there, somewhere. And with you by her side, she has a beacon of hope to guide her back."
Her words were a comfort, and in that moment, you felt a connection with her, one that went beyond casualties. She was offering you a piece of wisdom that came from experience, from her own life's trials and tribulations.
"I truly hope so," you said, your voice thick with emotion. "I'll keep trying with her. Maybe one day, she'll be ready to start picking up those curveballs herself."
Carla reached to touch your cheek, her palm warm like her soul. "I’m sure she will, in her own time. And she's lucky to have you. Just like we're lucky to have you here with us."
“Thank you, Carla. This… it really means a lot to me.”
Carla's touch was reassuring, and her kind words wrapped around you like a comforting embrace. "You're welcome, dear," she replied with a gentle smile. "We all need a little support sometimes. Don't hesitate to reach out, whether it's to talk about your mom or anything else. We're family now."
You nodded, feeling a sense of belonging that was both new and deeply cherished. The kindness and openness this woman shared with you was like a soothing balm to the ache you'd been carrying around. It was a stark reminder that, while you couldn't control everything that happened in life, you could choose the people you surrounded yourself with—people who could make the burdens feel a little lighter.
“Now, do you think you could help me set the table? I could even show you my special lemonade recipe.” She sent a playful wink your way.
"I'd love to," you responded, the corners of your mouth lifting into a genuine smile.
Carla stood up to show you around the kitchen, and together you began to gather the plates, utensils, and glasses needed for the meal. The clink of cutlery and the clatter of dishes became the backdrop to a new kind of intimacy, one that was formed through shared tasks and quiet conversation.
As you worked, Carla shared her recipe, explaining each step with the care of someone passing down a treasured secret. You listened intently, taking note of the way she squeezed the lemons just so, the exact amount of sugar she added, and the sprigs of mint she used for garnish. The simplicity of the task, paired with the significance of the moment, made you feel more at home than you had in a long time.
With the table set, the bouquet you gifted her centered right at the middle of it, and the lemonade prepared, you stepped back to admire your handiwork. The kitchen was now transformed into a cozy dining space.
"Looks perfect," Carla said, surveying the scene with a satisfied nod. "Thank you, Y/n. You're a natural at this."
Just then, Eren and his father appeared at the door, the scent of grilled food preceding them. "Wow, look at this!" Eren exclaimed, his eyes taking in the spread. "You two have been busy."
His father placed a hand on your shoulder, a silent gesture of thanks that spoke louder than words. "You're part of the team now," he said with a warm smile.
As everyone took their seats around the table, the afternoon sun casting a golden glow over the scene, you felt a profound sense of peace. Eren sat next to you, his hand never leaving your knee, and in that moment, you just knew.
This was exactly where you were supposed to be.
…..
It was a silent night. A night where the crickets could be heard, their sound still gracing your town’s fields and grass because of the warm weather. You were lying in your bed, staring up at the dark ceiling, unable to fall asleep no matter how much you tried. It’d been two days since your conversation with him. Two days of overworking yourself so you could not think about him. Two days of failing because of all the waking up in the middle of the night, your conversation still fresh in your mind.
Lily was fast asleep in her room, unaware of your inner turmoils. At least you hoped she was. The first day of school was just one day away, and she was beaming with excitement, talking about anything and everything she couldn’t wait to do now that she was a “big girl”. It was heartwarming to listen to her, and it gave you a reason to smile amidst the swirl of emotions you were caught in. Lily's happiness was infectious, and it reminded you why you pushed through the tough times. Her joy and innocence were like beacon in a storm, guiding you back to what truly mattered.
But now, in the quiet of the night, your thoughts drifted once again to Eren and the small piece of paper that now sat on your nightstand. The mere act of taking his number didn't bind you to anything, but it symbolized a bridge — a potential pathway back to someone who had once meant the world to you.
With each silent tick of the clock, your mind played through a thousand different scenarios. What could happen if you called? What would remain if you chose not to? But there was a more pressing question that you couldn’t escape: What did you want to happen?
You rolled over in bed, trying to find a comfortable position that might welcome sleep. Your life had done a whole 180 since he came back, and you were afraid of the same thing happening to your baby girl. How could you answer her questions without breaking her heart if you decided to tell her about him? Even if you came up with some dumb lie that could evidently cause more damage as she grew older, that would only put a bandage on the wound. It wouldn’t fix anything.
But what if Eren was telling the truth? What if he really wanted to be a dad to her? It would be like taking away her chance of having both parents present in her life. But what if.. what if he left again?
You took a deep sigh, palms pressed against your face. You looked at the clock. It was 11:45pm. Screw it.
You jumped off your bed to grab the little piece of paper and began dialing his number, thinking he probably wasn’t asleep. Even if he was, you didn’t care. You didn’t know if you would get that kind of courage again.
He answered after the second beep.
"Hello?" Eren's voice came through the line, alert enough to recognize the urgency of a late-night call.
"Hey, it's me," you said, your voice steadier than you felt. The crickets' chorus seemed to quiet as if the night itself was holding its breath, waiting for what would come next.
“I know.” I know your phone number by heart, he thought. “Is everything okay?”
You took a deep breath, closing your eyes as a means to collect your thoughts. You wanted to tell him that no, everything was not okay. That you’ve been thinking about your conversation, about everything, and that you couldn’t sleep a wink because of it. But instead, you decided to opt with something entirely different.
“The first day of school is in one day.”
Eren went silent. He knew, of course, but he couldn’t quite understand why you were mentioning it.
“Yeah, I know..” he replied, a note of confusion in his voice, “Is Lily okay? Are you?”
"She's more than okay. She's excited, can't stop talking about it," you said, a small smile forming as you thought of your daughter's enthusiasm.
“I’m glad.” You could almost hear the smile in his voice. “It’s her big day, after all.”
Then, you became quiet again. The silence stretched between you, filled with the weight of unspoken thoughts and lingering emotions. Eren seemed to sense your hesitation, your internal struggle with the complexities of the situation.
“Y/n.. is everything-“
“We’re having a gathering at home after the school ceremony. I want you to come.”
The words came out before you could second-guess yourself, a decision made in the quiet space between heartbeats.
“It’ll be only close friends and some neighbors. Your dad, too.” You decided to add.
Eren's response took a few seconds, but you couldn’t miss the excitement, surprise and gratitude mixed within his voice. "I... yes, yes, I'll be there. Just tell me the time."
You nodded, even though he couldn't see you. "It'll be in the afternoon, after the ceremony. I'll text you the details," you said, your voice steady despite the fluttering in your stomach.
"Okay, I'll wait for your message. And Y/n… I… ", Eren paused, as if choosing his words carefully, "Thank you. I really appreciate this.” He went quiet again before he spoke, “I'm going to make sure you don't regret it."
You let out a breath you didn't realize you'd been holding. "We'll see," you said, not ready to make any promises or set any expectations. "For now, let's just focus on making it a good day for her."
"Yeah, yeah, of course," Eren agreed. "She's going to have the best first day. I'm sure of it."
"Yeah, she will" you whispered, a small smile returning as you thought of your daughter's excitement. “And Eren.. I haven’t told her anything yet.”
“Yeah, I understand. I told you, whatever you say, that’s what happens.”
"Okay. Goodnight.”
"Goodnight, Y/n," Eren said softly, a note of warmth in his voice.
The room was quiet once more, the earlier tension replaced by a cautious hope. You were still unsure about the future, about how things would unfold, but you had taken a step. For now, that was enough.
As you lay back down, the crickets outside resumed their song, a familiar and comforting sound. You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to imagine the gathering, the school ceremony, and the look of joy on Lily's face. With those thoughts filling your mind, you finally felt sleep begin to take hold, offering you a respite from the whirlwind of emotions and a chance to finally rest.
Chapter summary: Searching for a path to your forgiveness, Eren yearns to bridge the gap his absence has left in your and your daughter’s lives, realizing how hard it’s going to be with every step of the way.
Words: 14.2k
Chapter 3
A/N: Yeaaah… it’s not like I’m 6 months late lol. I’m sorry for the long wait. I thought about splitting the chapter into two, but then again, you’ve waited for so long, might as well post the whole thing. I’m so very grateful to everyone who asked me about this story. It means a lot because believe me, it is hard to write such complex relationships, so having you have real interest in it means the world.🥹🫶🏻 hope you enjoy it!!
…..
Eren knew the path to your house by heart.
Even though you lived on the other side of town, he still remembered how he would walk you home everyday, and then walk all the way back to his house. It was your “thing”. He never let you go home by yourself.
But now, as he drove his black BMW, that looked absurd as opposed to the quaint streets of your simple town, he realized he never felt this nervous going to your house before. Even when you were teenagers and he’d spend the entire way thinking of a way to kiss you, it didn’t come even close to how anxious he felt at the moment. Because back then, he had nothing to lose. Now, with everything he held dear hanging in the balance, the weight of his fears bore down on him.
He parked his car beside the fence of your house, that looked exactly the same as it did the first time he walked you home. Light blue, with a little marking at the entrance that was his doing. He remembered how he’d taken a red marker and written yours and his initials on it. It wasn’t big enough for your mom to see, but both of you knew it was there. As he stepped outside, his eyes became glued to it. He wondered if Lily ever noticed and perhaps asked you about it.
He looked at the porch, the one he used to kiss you on, and it transported him right back when you were 16. When seeing you walk out the door and towards his arms was the most important thing in the world. He felt like an idiot for ever thinking there was anything else that could come close to that feeling.
His legs carried him to the front door, the familiar creak of the porch serving as a reminder of all the times he’d stood on this threshold, waiting for you. His heart pounded inside his chest as he lifted his hand to knock on your door. The little person that appeared in front of him was not the one he expected to open it.
Lily peered up at him, her eyes curious as she hid half of her tiny body behind the door, only her head peeking behind it.
“Hey there, Lily.” Eren smiled at her, a little nervous as he looked down at his little copy, “Is your mom home?"
Lily continued to stare up at him, ignoring his question with her own, "Who are you?"
Eren froze in his place. How the hell was he supposed to introduce himself?
He swallowed thickly, but still maintained his smile, “About time I told you my name, huh? It’s Eren. I'm-”
"Are you my mom's new boyfriend?" The little girl looked at him skeptically.
Eren found himself at a loss for words by the straightforwardness of the question. He began to think, trying to come up with a response that would answer her curiosity without delving into the complicated nature of his relationship with you.
“No, I’m not. I’m.. an old friend of hers.” The moment the words were uttered, he felt a surge of frustration run through him. You weren’t just friends who’d lost touch over the years. To reduce everything you’d gone through together to a mere friendship that had just faded away felt like a whole new betrayal. But still, as much as he wanted to, Eren knew he couldn’t tell the beautiful little girl in front of him the truth. Not just yet. “I really need to talk to her. Is she here?”
“Lily, I’ve told you not to open the door-“
You appeared in a flash, and Eren could sense your protective instincts kicking in, like a mama bear ready to defend her cub. You were in your bath robe, which made Eren a bit uncomfortable, appearing on a Sunday and catching you off guard. When your eyes landed on him, they widened, but he had to fight his from going down to your collar bones. Don’t, you asshole.
“Hey.” His voice was low and gentle, but that didn’t stop your frown from appearing. He watched as you instructed Lily to go inside, who sent him a smile before telling him bye.
“Bye, Lily.” Seeing her go inside, he wondered when he’d be able to see her beautiful smile again. Like he always wondered if he’d ever be able to see yours.
“Why are you here?” You brought his attention back to you, sensing the guardedness in your voice. Looking at him like he was your enemy, like he wanted to do you harm. He hated it.
“I’m sorry for showing up like this, but I really need to talk to you.” He had the feeling you’d say no, so his first instinct was to cut you off. “Please, Y/n. Just an hour, whenever you can.”
He could only imagine how you must be feeling right now, put on the spot like that. But Eren had no other choice.
You studied him for a moment, your eyes revealing nothing. Eren’s heart was in his throat. He didn’t know if he should say something, plead with you again, or just remain silent. He decided on the latter, even though it was excruciatingly difficult to withstand your penetrating stare.
“You can’t just keep showing up like this. You know that.”
He did. It felt so wrong to disturb your life like this, but his selfishness was stronger than anything else inside of him.
“I know, I’m sorry.” He did his best to stop his voice from wavering. “I won’t bother you, I promise. Just please consider it.”
It felt like hours going by as he waited for you to say something. His fists clenched and unclenched as he struggled to tear his gaze away from you, his eyes drinking in every detail that had been denied to him for so long. He wanted to memorise your face in case you shut the door in his. Here, right now, in this vulnerable state, with your face untouched by make up, your hair casually gathered into a messy bun, body wrapped in your bathrobe. He watched you instinctively trying to shield yourself from him, a physical barrier reflecting the emotional walls that had been erected between you.
But to Eren, you were more beautiful like this than ever before.
“Fine.” The word rung in the air, and it took a second for Eren to grasp it, “Tomorrow, 2p.m., Daisy cafe. It’s my lunch break, so I won’t have an hour.”
His green eyes almost dilated, his face contorting into a smile. He wanted to wrap his arms around you, barely stopping himself. You were giving him a shot. He couldn’t possibly ask for more. “Yeah, sure, of course. Thank you.”
“Okay, then.” You cast your eyes down at your feet. Eren could sense you weren’t comfortable looking at him. “We have to get going, so..”
“Oh, yeah, sorry.” He moved back a bit as if not to intrude your space. “I’ll- I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
“Bye.”
A heart beat later, you’d closed the door.
Eren lingered on your porch for a moment longer, basking in the afterglow of your agreement. His heart drummed a rapid rhythm in his chest, the echo of his pure bliss. You were going to talk to him. That glimmer of hope managed to fuel his determination like nothing else. It was euphoric, almost like he was floating. As he slid into his car, the scene replayed in his mind like a movie scene.
As he navigated the familiar streets, his smile was unwavering, a childlike glee etched on his face. The sudden ring of his phone disrupted the serene silence of the car. The device was new, its number known only to his father, which made the incoming call a curiosity. His mind flickered to the luggage he had left behind at the hotel, intended for his old house. The call, he thought, was likely related to that.
The moment he picked up, he regretted it.
“Hello!?”
Shit.
It was Hange. His manager.
How the hell did she get this number?
“It was about damn time, Eren!”
He sighed. He should’ve known they wouldn’t let go of him that easily.
“What do you want, Hange?”
“What do I want? What do I want!?” Her laughter echoed in the car, but it was laced with bitter irony. “Do you have any idea how much time I spent trying to find you? You bailed out on us and left without so much as an explanation!”
“I think I gave enough of an explanation.”
“Oh, yeah, sorry, I forgot about the “I’m done living this life anymore” crap. Sorry if I didn’t believe you after saying it for the hundredth time without actually doing anything about it.”
“You can believe what you want. The reality is, I’m done.”
A brief silence ensued before she spoke again, her voice unusually grave.
“Eren, are you on drugs again?”
He didn’t know why, but it made him laugh, “Actually, for the first time, I’m as sober as can be.” He took a deep breath before speaking again. He had to end this once and for all. “Hange, I’ve talked to my lawyers. I want out of the contract.”
“You can’t do that, Eren. The contract’s not done for another year!”
“Watch me.”
“Eren, where the hell are yo-“
He ended the call before she could finish her sentence.
He recognised the unfairness of his actions. Hange was a good manager, even though he was sure she’d gone nuts after so many years of dealing with him and his band mates. But if he wanted to get his old life back, he had to leave this one behind. For good.
…..
10 years ago
The last day of school. A day that set you free from the tight grasp of constant homework and irritable teachers. A day that also somehow seemed to amplify the pounding in a certain green eyed boy’s heart as he laid next to you on the lush green grass, the school building mere meters behind you, forgotten for the next three months.
Eren thought tenth grade wasn’t like any other grade before it. It was the most fun he’d ever had at school, and the strange thing was, he didn’t even get into that much trouble. Well, if he really got to think about it, he knew there was a reason behind his change. Ever since that rainy day you opened up to each other for the first time, you’d become inseparable. It was so weird - one day, you didn’t even know that much about each other, then the next - he was walking you home and telling you about his dreams. You did, too. About life and your fears and your hopes. Late night conversations had become a regular occurrence, sharing every little thought, like and dislike with each other. And the best thing was, there was no judgement. It was a safe space between you two, a time when the world faded into the background and it was just you and him, baring your souls to one another. There were nights when the topics were deep and introspective, delving into the complexities of life and the future. Others, the conversations were light-hearted and filled with laughter, going into the early hours of the morning.
Sitting together in class, at lunch, and even after school became the norm for both of you. It was as if you were two pieces of a puzzle, blending seamlessly into each other’s lives. Eren found himself looking forward to each day, eager to see your smile and hear your voice. Your presence brought him a sense of comfort and happiness that he had never experienced before. He admired your strength and your ability to see the beauty in even the smallest things. Your passion for life ignited a fire within him, inspiring him to write about subjects he had never thought of before, like.. love.
Eren couldn't deny the growing feelings he had for you, feelings that went beyond friendship. He found himself captivated by your every word, your every smile, and your every touch. The way his heart raced whenever you were near was a clear indication that his emotions had transformed into something deeper. And, as dense as he seemed, he couldn't help but notice the subtle shifts in your interactions as well. The lingering gazes, the gentle brushes of hands, and the way your laughter seemed to fill the air with an extra sparkle whenever he was around.
But, as much as Eren thought he knew what was hidden behind your actions, he couldn't shake the uncertainty that clouded his mind. He questioned whether you actually felt the same way, whether his heart's desires were reciprocated. The fear of jeopardizing the beautiful connection you shared kept him from confessing his feelings outright.
Yet, the last day of school marked a turning point, a moment when Eren decided to seize the opportunity that the summer break presented. He couldn't bear the thought of spending one more day in the dark, hiding his feelings from you without knowing if there was a chance for something more to happen.
As you both laid next to each other, Eren's heart beat like it never had before. He mustered the courage to take your hand in his, intertwining your fingers together. The touch sent a jolt of electricity through his veins, reassuring him that he was on the right path.
With a trembling voice, he turned to you, his heart on his sleeve. "I've been wanting to tell you something," he waited for you to look at him before he continued, trying not to get lost in the pretty hue of your eyes. "This past year with you has been the best time of my life. You've become my best friend and.. so much more.” His mind repeated that he should turn his face away from yours, or else he might burst into flames. Nonetheless, the grip he had on your hand tightened. Go on, you idiot.
“But Y/n, I.. I haven’t been completely honest with you.”
At that, your eyebrows arched, mouth falling slightly agape in confusion. That’s when you really noticed the redness of his cheeks, the vulnerability in his eyes. It was a look you hadn’t seen on his face before.
"Truth is.. I'm in love with you.” There it was, out in the open. He’d done it. There was no turning back now.
Watching your eyes go wide brought him a kind of anxiety his heart couldn’t handle. His hands had been sweating for the past 5 minutes, and he prayed to god you hadn’t noticed. And if he could get a glimpse of what was inside your mind, he’d realise that indeed, you hadn’t noticed, because there was nothing else that could get your attention except for his confession that was heavily hanging in the air.
Your mind replayed the word what, what, what, over and over again, and you thought about pinching yourself to be absolutely sure this was happening. He was in love with you. Eren just confessed he was in love with you. The boy you’d spent ninety percent of your time with, who’d become your best friend, confidant, shoulder to cry on when your dad forgot to call you on your birthday, who’d made you laugh until you had tears prickling your eyes, who’d walked you home every single day after school even though he didn’t have to, who’d given you his lunch when you didn’t bring one yourself. That Eren. YourEren.
The silence had gone on for too long. The green eyed boy felt the need to fill it, hoping he didn’t screw things up beyond repair.
“But I want you to know I understand if you don't feel the same way. Our friendship means a lot to me, and I don't want to jeopardize that."
You blinked a few times at him, your mind racing, trying to comprehend all the emotions swirling within you. You had to say something, even though your breath was caught in your lungs.
“I..”, you began, unsure of where to go. It was your first experience with.. situations like this. And if the person lying beside you was any other boy, it probably would’ve been a lot easier. But this was him. And because of how much he meant to you, it was scarier than you could’ve imagined.
But even though you were scared, you were also thrilled. Because, the fact of the matter was, you were head over heels for this boy.
“Can I tell you something too?” You asked quietly, eyes unconsciously focused on his lips.
“Of course.”
You didn’t even realise when it was you’d leaned in. But you did. With your lips gently caressing his, for the briefest moment. Then back you were, staring once again at those plump, soft lips you’d just kissed.
Eren’s mind struggled to catch up with what just happened, his stare going back and forth between your cherry lips and pretty eyes. The fact that you initiated this kiss, your first kiss, meant that he wasn’t wrong, that there really was something more between you. It was a validation he had desperately hoped for but never expected to receive.
With great effort, he steadied his breathing and met your gaze, bringing his hand to gently cup your cheek. His touch was tender, timid, but filled with warmth and affection.
"I... didn't expect that," Eren stammered, his voice soft and low. "But,” he gulped, eyes traveling down to your cupid’s bow, “I liked it. I really liked it."
Your cheeks flushed pink, a shy smile tugging at your lips. You turned to your side, facing him fully, and placing your own hand on top of his.
“I’m glad.” You whispered, “because… I’ve been falling for you too.”
You could almost feel the relief of his exhale, as if a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Then a gentle smile, the same one you’d been falling for for the past year, adorned his face. “You have?”
You nodded. “How could I not? Eren, I’ve never thought someone could be so amazing to me.” You leaned in even closer, “I was just scared to admit it because I didn’t want to ruin anything. I was scared there was a chance it was all in my head.”
“Oh, believe me,” Eren rested his forehead against yours, “it’s real. It’s been real for a while now.”
Your heart fluttered at his words, with tiny little butterflies flying around in your stomach and filling your chest with warmth. You couldn’t remember if you’d ever been this happy.
“It was the same with me.” He continued while gently stroking your cheek. “You’ve become such an important part of my life,” the most important, he thought, “that I was terrified I’d screw it all up if I confessed. But trust me, it was freaking torture wondering if you felt the same way. I couldn’t bare the thought of losing you if you didn’t.”
You shook your head, “You could never lose me, Eren. Even if that was the case, which obviously isn’t, I would’ve still been your friend. I’ll always be there for you.”
Eren’s eyes softened. You truly were amazing. “And I’ll always be there for you.”
You stayed like that for a few seconds, staring into each other’s eyes, losing yourselves in them. And then, Eren decided to spontaneously lay a quick kiss on your nose. A spark of joy ignited within you, with your laughter bubbling up, filling the air with its infectious sound.
Eren’s eyes twinkled with delight, “That’s my favourite sound.”
“You always know how to pull it out of me. Even when I don’t want to.”
The moment the sentence was over, Eren couldn’t wait any longer. His hands gently cradled your face, like he was holding the most precious thing in the world. Then he quickly caught your lips in a soft, but passionate kiss, one that was filled with longing, a testament of how long he’d waited to do this. It took every last breath you had. When the kiss ended, you stayed close, your noses barely brushing against each other.
“I’ll make sure you always do.”
…..
Today
4:30. That was what the clock showed when he woke up with tears in his eyes.
He brought his hand to his cheek, feeling the dampness of his skin. Just when he thought he finally got used to it. The painful reminder that even when he was asleep, the ache of missing you still lingered, refusing to fade away.
The memories, so many of them turned dreams, ones that haunted him every night or so, were as real as he could remember. Your face was still as pretty, but your eyes were brighter then. In his dreams, he saw those eyes and the way they sparkled whenever he would gaze at them.
In those dreams, he could almost feel the warmth of your touch, the tenderness of your embrace. They were bittersweet, bringing temporary solace among the daily torment. A cruel reminder of what he had lost, yet they also offered a fleeting respite from the harsh reality of your absence.
But then he remembered. In a couple of hours, he would see you. His sleepy mind had forgotten to remind him of that, that it wasn’t all lost. That even though he wouldn’t get to hug or kiss you, at least he’d get to see you. Hear your voice. He wasn’t a 1000 kilometres away from you anymore, just a few streets.
He sat up in his bed, his dream still fresh in front of his eyes. He leaned against the cupboard and looked up at the ceiling. Did you, too, have dreams like this? He wondered if there were nights where you’d woken up with tears brimming eyes, searching for him while he was god knows where. It tugged at his heart, his fists clenching. He was sure nights like this were a regular occurrence for you after he left. And while you were pregnant..
He slammed his fist into the mattress and closed his eyes shut. He should’ve been there to wipe them, kiss them away, to help you, to love you. But he wasn’t.
“One step at a time, Eren.” His whisper echoed through the room. He had to talk himself out of the self-loathing, out of the guilt that was threatening to consume him if he took one wrong step. He had to believe things could get better.
He got up from his bed and walked to the window, pulling the curtains aside. The city was still asleep, the street lights casting a soft glow on the quiet roads. He took a deep breath, the cold air filling his lungs. He knew it was futile to try and fall asleep again, so instead, his mind began racing with all the possible outcomes of your impending conversation. His heart pounded in his chest as he thought about the words he would say, the apologies he would make. Would you accept them? Would you believe that he was sincere? Or would you turn him away, the pain of his absence still too fresh? He didn’t know any of these things except one that was for sure. He had a long day ahead of him.
…..
“Rise and shine, mama!” A certain cheerful voice rang in your ear. You opened your eyes to see your little girl jumping on your bed, her hair a mess, eyes wide and sparkling, like they always were. You smiled at her, pulling her instantly into a warm embrace.
“Good morning sweetheart,” you murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Lily giggled, wrapping her small hands around your neck, “did you sleep okay?”
“Mhmm,” she nodded her head a couple of times, “I dreamt I was a princess and I had a whole castle allll for myself!”
Your laughter filled the air, “Well, that’s not far from the truth.” You scooped her up into your arms and got out of bed, making your way to her room.
“Tell you what, you make your bed and brush your teeth and I’ll make you some special princess pancakes, okay?”
When you let her down, she rose her tiny thumb up, her face determined, and you had to put your palm in front of your mouth to keep your chuckle in. She was just too cute.
“I want them pink!”
“You got it!”
You turned on your heel, trying to remember where you put the pink food coloring with strawberry flavor you bought for her. You prepared the batter, now being an expert at making quick breakfasts, all the while smiling at your daughter’s excitement. Life was just fuller with her in it.
Lily, having diligently made her bed and brushed her teeth, came running to your side, her eyes fixated on the bowl of pink batter. She bounced on her toes, "Mama, they're going to be the prettiest pancakes ever!"
“They just might.” You gave her a wink and a playful nudge, “But only if her majesty helped me mix the batter.”
Her face lit up at the prospect of helping you, and she eagerly grabbed the wooden spoon you offered her. You held the bowl steady as she stirred, her tongue poking out in concentration.
"Good job, your highness," you praised, ruffling her hair. "Now, let's get these pancakes cooking."
As the pancakes sizzled on the pan, filling the kitchen with a delicious aroma, you took a quick detour to the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth. When you returned, your heart swelled at the sight before you. There was Lily, perched precariously on a kitchen chair, carefully flipping the pancakes with a look of intense concentration on her face.
You really are growing up so fast, you thought. It was a thought that filled you with a profound sense of awe and a hint of melancholy. Your little girl was blossoming before your eyes, and while it was a beautiful sight, it was also a poignant reminder of how fleeting these moments truly were.
As you sat at the table, your attention focused on Lily, her excitement about starting school next week bubbling over in a stream of endless chatter while she ate her pink pancakes, your eyes filled with nothing but love for her. Until you unconsciously glanced to your right, at the chair that remained perpetually empty, and it stirred a pang in your heart. It was a void that has existed ever since she came into your world.
Despite her cheerful demeanor, you knew she was aware that things weren't quite as they should be. You saw it in the wistful look that crossed her face when she saw a child perched high on their father's shoulders. It was there in the longing in her eyes when she watched movies featuring families gathered around the dinner table, laughing and sharing their day. And it was painfully evident in the park, when she'd watch a mother and father swinging their child between them, their laughter echoing in the air.
Yes, your daughter was a happy child, full of life and joy. But there was a part of her world that was incomplete, a piece of the puzzle missing.
What should I do?
It was a question nobody could give an answer to except you. Confusion settled inside your mind like a heavy fog, and you found yourself grappling with a myriad of emotions. But then again, Eren had that kind of effect.
Just talk to him, you repeated to yourself, the words becoming a mantra that guided your resolve. You knew deep down that having a conversation with him was necessary, for your daughter’s sake at least. After all, you had faced and overcome numerous challenges in your life, and this was just another hurdle to navigate. Facing it was the only way to move forward.
One step at a time.
…..
With his third cup of coffee for the day clutched tightly in his hand, Eren couldn't help but notice the slight tremor that had begun to take hold. Perhaps it was the caffeine, or maybe it was the fact that in half an hour, he’d be meeting you. He strolled past the town's library, one hand buried deep in his pocket, the other cradling the diminutive cup of warmth. He observed the streets with an almost alien curiosity, taking in the sights as if for the first time.
This was his first venture into town, a decision his mind tried to dissuade him from, haunted by the prospect of getting recognised and the inevitable gossip that would follow. But he yearned for a taste of normalcy, a fleeting moment of being just another face in the crowd, despite his life being anything but ordinary. So, he ditched his car, and sauntered along the familiar, yet strangely new streets.
Eren was riddled with nerves at the prospect of talking to you, yet when he allowed himself to truly contemplate it, he realized his anticipation outweighed his anxiety. This was it, the moment he’d been waiting for, finally taking place. There was no room for screw ups.
But then again, as much as he pondered on it, he wasn’t quite sure what kind of apology would soften the sternness in your eyes every time you looked at him. I’m sorry for leaving for 7 years and making you gather the pieces.. no, that wasn’t it. I’m the biggest scumbag on the face of the earth. That seemed more fitting.
His thoughts then wandered to Lily. What was she doing at this moment? Did she enjoy drawing? Had she mastered riding a bike? Did she have a favourite sport? A favourite toy? Food? Movie?
He desperately wanted to know the answers to those questions, but he also feared the disappointment that might come with them. He had missed out on so much of her life, and he knew he could never make up for lost time. She looked like such a joyful kid, too.. The last thing he wanted was to screw that up.
The weight of his thoughts and the ticking clock in his mind seemed to drag his steps, making the short distance to your meeting place feel like a marathon. He was seconds from facing the music, facing you, facing the last 7 years.
The bell above the cafe door jingled as he pushed the open, the familiar sound sending a rush of nostalgia through him. This was a place you used to come after school along with your friends, a sanctuary for playing cards, laughing, making plans, escaping the world. Now, it sort of felt like a battleground, the setting for a confrontation that was years in the making.
He scanned the room, wondering if you’d showed up even though he was 20 minutes early, his heart pounding. Then one last glance at the far end table and there you were, sitting in a corner, your hands wrapped around a cup of coffee. When your eyes met his, he could see the wariness in them, the hardened resolve. You looked like you were prepared for this, for whatever he had to say.
He walked over to your table, his steps slow and measured. People were talking around him but it was like he couldn’t hear anything, like everything was silent. The only thing he actually could hear was the rapid beating of his heart as he reached the table and took the seat across from you. His hands trembled slightly as he placed them on the table.
“I thought I was going to be early.” He said, an anxious smile crossing his lips.
“I wanted to get it over with.” The truth was, you didn’t mean to sound so rude. Maybe it was the nerves, but you didn’t intend for your words to be laced with so much iciness. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“No, I get it.” He interjected, trying to sound unaffected, even though your words were like needles to his heart. “Thank you again. For meeting me.”
You nodded once, realizing how hard it was going to be to look him in the eyes. Breathe, your mind repeated. Just breathe. “I meant to ask yesterday. What’s wrong with your eye?”
Shit, he thought. He’d bought concealer yesterday to cover it, but your question meant he didn’t do a good job. No point in lying. “Met Jean the other day. I guess he didn’t miss me much.”
You looked down at your coffee mug, shaking your head. This was just too typical of them. “So.. what did you want to talk about?”
That I miss you so fucking much.
But he couldn’t say that. So, the next most important thing was, “I’m sorry.” He looked you straight in the eyes. “I’m deeply sorry for everything I’ve done to you-“
“I don’t need your apologies, Eren.” You stopped him in his tracks, causing his eyes to widen, “Really, just- don’t.” Your tone suggested no further arguing about it. Eren couldn’t decide which hurt more - the numbness in your voice or the disappointment in your eyes.
“Just tell me what you want.”
As much as it pained him, Eren knew this would most probably be the outcome. He expected his apologies to fall on deaf ears, even though he so desperately wanted, needed, to convince you how sorry he was. But he also needed to thread carefully.
“I.. know this is going to be too sudden for you,” he began, his eyes settled on a tiny drop of coffee on the wooden table, too overwhelmed to look at your face, “but the reason I wanted to talk is because,” spit it out, Eren, “I want to be a part of Lily’s life.”
Silence. Not a word, not a breath. Nothing.
When Eren looked up to catch your expression, he saw a medley of emotions on your face. Surprise, confusion.. maybe even a hint of anger. You took a moment to process his words, that felt like forever to the man sitting in front of you.
“I’m- I’m going to live here from now on, and I want to help you with whatever I can.” He added, trying to convey his sincerity.
You continued to stare at him, your features becoming unreadable. A deep sigh escaped your lips, and you craned your neck to look up at the ceiling. Then you moved your eyes towards him, gripping your cup tightly, “Eren.. Lily has a stable life. I can’t risk you ruining that. I’m sorry.”
The finality of your words made Eren’s heart sink to his stomach. But one thing about him was, he wasn’t giving up without a fight. “Okay, I deserve that. But.. are we just going to pretend like we don’t know each other? Are we going to just pass each other by?”
He struck a nerve.
“You pretended like I never existed and left. So, you tell me.”
Your words hit him like a punch in the gut. One that was long overdue.
“Y/n.. I can’t express to you how much I regret everything that happened back then. And even though you probably won’t believe it, if I had known about Lily, I-“
“So you needed to know about her so you could acknowledge me? Is that it?”
You had a counter for everything he said, and his words only further fuelled the slowly-bubbling anger within you. All the hurt, the betrayal, everything you had felt for so long was resurfacing, even though internally you were fighting to stop it. With much effort, you decided to try and collect yourself. You weren’t going to let him see you lash out.
“Eren, look.. I can’t let her be near a person who can walk away from his responsibilities with the snap of his fingers. This is my daughter and I don’t want her to get hurt.”
“She’s my daughter, too.” The words left a burning feeling in his throat, because he knew he shouldn’t have said that.
“I’m sorry?” The disbelief in your voice was palpable. His daughter? He wanted to be responsible all of a sudden?
“Look, if- if you don’t want me to spend time with her, I won’t put pressure on it. Just let me help with things. I can give you money, I can support you-“
“Money? You think we need your money?” You let out a disbelieving laugh, then quickly gathered your jacket, getting ready to leave. “This is ridiculous.”
“No, wait, please.” Eren reached out, grabbing you by the hand. The contact made you jolt, freezing in place. When you looked up, you were met by his desperate eyes. You stared at them, at the two green orbs he shared with you daughter, and you hated how for the slightest moment, you actually felt bad for him.
“I didn’t meant to sound so forward, I just.. I don’t know how to approach this.”
After a long silence, you pulled your hand away, not harshly, but firmly, and sat back into your seat. “Well, let me help you then. Just don’t approach it at all. Leave it be. It’s been years, and maybe things should be left alone as they are.”
Eren’s face fell. He should’ve expected that, but it still hurt more than he anticipated.
“Y/n, you can’t ask that of me.”
Your hands were shaking. You thought you were ready for this, but now that it was actually happening, you weren’t so sure anymore.
“Okay. What do I tell her? Hm? Hey, baby. I know you’ve always wondered who your dad is, and I know you haven’t ever met him, but the other day we bumped into him at the store, and now he wants us to be one big, happy family. Does that sound good?”
Eren winced at your words, the harsh reality of the situation hitting him like a truck. It was like he was in a maze that he was desperately trying to find the right path to, but that always ended in failure.
“You don’t get it, do you? You’re going to stir up her life. I can’t let you do that.”
“I know it’ll be hard.” He began quietly, “I also know it’s not fair to put all that pressure on you. The last thing I want is to make your lives harder. I want the opposite.”
“Good. Then it’s better if you stay away.” You were talking to hurt him now, and you knew it. “Anyway, you say you’re going to live here from now on. Why? How is your celebrity life going to fit in a small place like this?”
His answer was instantaneous, “I’m done with all that.”
A few moments were needed for you to process his words. “Oh. Oh, okay. You’re done with it. And now you think you can just causally stroll back in here like the last years didn’t happen?”
“No, I- listen, it’s not like that-“
“Then how is it, Eren?“
You noticed a few heads turning towards your table, realizing you’d been raising your voice. It was clear that emotions were running high for both of you, and you were aware that wouldn’t amount to anything good. Eren was hunched forward on the table, almost like a little kid seeking some kind of comfort.
“I couldn’t live like that anymore. I needed to come home.” His voice was so low, you barely heard it. Then he rose his head up, his eyes pleading, begging for you to believe him, “I swear, it’s been like that for a while. It’s just- it’s not that easy to get away from it. I did, though. It’s over.”
You leaned your head on your hands, and closed your eyes shut. Thousands of emotions threatened to swallow you whole. You took in everything he said and tried to make sense of it. But how do you trust someone who left you like you meant nothing and never looked back? You couldn’t let that happen to Lily. You’d rather anything else than letting someone hurt her that way.
“How do I know that you won’t go on tour and not come back for the next 7 years?”
“If I do that, you can always send Jean or my dad my way. I bet they’ll be real happy to put an end to me.”
“You think this is funny?”
Eren shook his head. “I am done. I was miserable leading that life. It’s over, Y/n. Truly.”
Silence enveloped the space between you and Eren as he could see the confusion etched on your face. A fraction of him held onto the hope that there was the tiniest chance you were considering giving him a shot.
“I just want to get to know her. That’s all I want.” He added, searching for your eyes that were settled on your coffee cup. “It’ll all be on your terms. Whatever you say, that’s what’s going to happen.”
Still silent, you lifted your gaze to meet Eren’s eyes. Oh, how you wanted to believe him. How you wanted to be sure that this man in front of you was someone you could trust with the most precious thing in your life. How you wanted to see the change behind his desperate eyes.
“What do you think?” He probed, his heart on the verge of exploding.
“I don’t know.” Your voice wavered, “I don’t know if I can trust you.”
“Tell me what I need to do, and I’ll do it.”
Then, you saw it. It was like transporting back in time. A glimpse of the boy you fell in love with all those years ago, sitting in front of you, ready to do whatever it took to make it right. It was the look in his eyes, the determination, that almost caught you off guard.
You swallowed thickly, it all becoming too much, “I have to get back to work.”
Quickly, you rose up from your seat, and began rummaging through your purse in search for your wallet.
“No, please, let me.” Eren stood up, reaching to stop you.
You avoided his touch like it would burn you. “I can take care of myself.” You threw some money on the table without counting, wanting to leave before the tears started spilling.
Eren watched helplessly, a storm inside him, one that couldn’t let him decide what to do. Trying to think under the pressure of you leaving, he reached out inside his pocket and gathered a small piece of paper.
“This is my new number.” He held it out to you. “Please, just promise me you’ll consider it.”
His hand hovered in the air between you as you hesitated. You were conflicted, but in the end, you decided to take it. Even if you didn’t call him, leaving him here completely hopeless wasn’t like you. At the end of the day, if it wasn’t for him, you wouldn’t have had Lily. Despite all the hurt and confusion that lingered between the two of you, you couldn't deny the impact he had on your life.
With a heavy sigh, you nodded at Eren, taking the tiny piece of paper in your hand.
Eren's eyes softened, a glimmer of hope shining through his inner storm. In a moments time you were out the door, leaving only the sound of the ringing bell behind you. He stared at your reflection through the window, every inch of his body wanting to chase after you, but his mind knew he shouldn’t. It was all in your hands now. Taking his number indicated a crack in the door, a silver of possibility, but he knew that the slightest pressure could slam the door shut again. So, he just stood still. Helplessness was his only companion for the moment.
…..
Summer, 10 years ago
You’d never actually gone to Eren’s house before. You’d only been to his backyard, having sneaked out one night and stargazed on the grass Mr. Jaeger had freshly moaned, where Eren intertwined your fingers for the first time. You’d spent an hour looking at the stars and thinking of goofy names for the constellations you could barely recognize, giggling every time one of you came up with something particularly silly. He then took you home on his bike, and helped you up the flower ladder that led to your room. If only you’d known how much he wanted to kiss you, even then.
What had changed between then and now was that he had confessed his love for you, which had given you the courage to do the same.
That day, he kissed you on your porch after taking you home like he usually did. It was a long, soft kiss, with his hands cradling your face, a kiss that made your knees wobble and your breath hitch in your throat. You fell asleep thinking about it, about all of it. There was this euphoria that wouldn’t let your smile fade, nor your mind rest. You woke up the next day to a text from him.
Eren💚
“Good morning, beautiful.”
You couldn’t stop your grin from spreading across your face. You pressed your phone against your chest, sighing with content. As you laid there, the morning light filtering through your curtains, you felt a warmth that wasn't just from the sun's rays. It was the warmth of him thinking about you at 8a.m. You typed a response, your fingers dancing across the screen with the same lightness that filled your heart.
“Good morning..❤️ did you sleep okay?”
You hit send, and almost immediately, the little dots that signaled Eren was typing appeared. The anticipation bubbled inside you, a pleasant fizz of excitement that made you sit up in bed, clutching the phone even tighter.
Eren💚
“Didn’t sleep much tbh. Couldn’t stop thinking about yesterday.”
You couldn't help but feel a flutter in your chest at his words. You wanted to say so much, to tell him that he had been in your dreams all night, that the thought of him made the morning seem brighter, but you settled for a response that conveyed your feelings without overwhelming him.
“Me too.. It was the best day I’ve had in a long time.”
You were restless to see his response, watching the screen in anticipation, the seconds of him typing passing like hours in your mind.
Eren💚
“It was the best day I’ve ever had.”
Your heart skipped a beat. Best day he’s ever had. You wanted to write that too but didn’t want to appear too forward. Turns out he was braver than you, which wasn’t a shocker at all.
Eren💚
“I really want to see you. Take you for breakfast?”
Was this how things were going to be from now on? Were you going to be so giddy and excited every time he messaged you? The thought made you smile even wider, and you couldn't type your response fast enough.
“I’d love that. What time should I be ready?”
Then, your phone rang. It was him. Your heart was beating faster than it ever had before. You had to repeat to yourself that this was still your best friend, the boy you’d shared your deepest thoughts and dreams with. But now.. he was something more, and that change seemed to turn you into a person you’d never thought you’d become. That made you nervous but also.. so, so happy.
You quickly picked up, voice timid but filled with warmth, “Hey.”
“Hello, pretty girl.” He was going to be the end of you with those nicknames. “Could you look outside your window for me?”
You blinked a few times, taking you a second to comprehend what he was saying before you jumped out of your bed and ran to your window. There, on the street below, was Eren. He was leaning against his bicycle, phone to his ear, and looking up at your window with that familiar, heart-melting grin.
You couldn't help but laugh, surprise and delight bubbling up inside you. "Eren! What are you doing here so early?" you asked, still holding the phone to your ear, though you were now speaking to him both through the window and the call.
"I wanted to surprise you," he said, his voice coming through the phone and faintly from the street below. "How about we start with that breakfast I mentioned? I couldn't wait until lunch."
Your heart did a somersault. "Give me five minutes!" you exclaimed, already thinking about what you could throw on quickly. You didn't want to keep him waiting.
"Take your time. I'll be right here," he replied, his tone patient and kind.
You ended the call, a smile plastered on your face as you hurried to get ready. You brushed your hair, found your favorite comfortable jeans and a t-shirt, and grabbed a light jacket. After a quick glance in the mirror, you dashed downstairs, your heart pounding with the anticipation of the day ahead. Your mother was in the kitchen, and you faintly heard her ask you where you were going so early.
“Eren and I are having breakfast!” You replied before you opened the front door. When he saw you, Eren pushed off from his bike and walked towards your front door. His eyes were bright, and the morning sun gave his hair a golden hue. "Good morning, for real this time," he said, his voice warm and inviting. He looked so.. ugh, he was the most beautiful boy you’d ever seen. He was wearing a pastel green shirt that made his eyes pop, and his smile was infectious as ever.
“Good morning..” you sounded shyer than you intended, but that seemed to steal another grin from Eren’s handsome face.
“You’re so cute.” He caught your face in his hands and planted a soft kiss on your lips. Your cheeks immediately flushed, and to your dismay, Eren noticed instantly, letting out a loud chuckle. “Are you blushing?”
You looked down at your feet, then hid your head in the crook of his neck. “Shut up..”
Eren laughed again, then brought you back to look him in the eyes, “Y/n, it’s still me, you know.”
“I know that!” You exclaimed, “it’s just.. I’m not used to this yet.”
Eren crooked an eyebrow, trying to hide his smile. “Mhm. You seemed to get used to it pretty quickly yesterday.”
“Oh, shush!” You wrapped your arms around him, and you felt his lips press against your hair.
“We should get going if we want to beat the breakfast rush.”
…..
Daisy’s cafe was as full as you’d expect for a Saturday morning. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee and the sound of light chatter filled the air, welcoming you into its embrace. You found a small table near the window, the perfect spot to enjoy the morning sun. Eren ordered your favorite chocolate chip pancakes without even asking you, the gesture making your heart full. When they came along with the other things you’d ordered, the green-eyed boy watched with an amused expression as you drizzled syrup over the stack, the rich, sweet aroma mingling with the coffee's robust scent.
And then, without any warning, “My mom wants to meet you.”
You almost choked on your first bite. This was unexpected to say the least. Not because of anything else, but because you’d never met his mom before, and you knew about her.. condition. Eren had confided in you about her declining health, but conversations about it were rare, his discomfort in discussing it understandable.
Eren's expression softened, and he reached across the table to take your hand. "Yeah, she's been asking about you," he said gently. "She wants to meet the girl who's captured her son's heart."
Your heart swelled, then you took his hand in yours as well. "Of course, I'd love to meet her," you replied, your voice steady despite the nerves that suddenly fluttered in your stomach. "Whenever you think it's the right time."
“I think it would mean a lot to her, and to me. My dad would be stoked to meet you, too."
You nodded, smiling. The thought of meeting his parents, his mom, especially given her health, felt like a big step.
“We could go today, actually. After breakfast, if that’s okay with you.”
The invitation caught you off guard, but you saw the earnestness in Eren's eyes. This was important to him, and therefore, it was important to you as well.
"Today?" you echoed, giving his hand a gentle squeeze back. The suddenness of the plan made you nervous, but the idea of putting it off didn't feel right either. "Yes, of course. I want to meet them too."
Eren's face lit up with relief. "Great!", he said, his voice filled with excitement that made you happy. "I was talking about you all night yesterday. They’re already in love with you.”
He’d been talking about you. You wanted to jump into his arms right this second. “I hope I live up to their expectations.”
He laughed softly, the sound easing the tension that had built up at the thought of the meeting. "You will. They're going to see what I see in you."
You finished your breakfast, chatting about little things to ease the nerves. Eren told you a bit more about his parents, his childhood memories, and what you might expect. It was comforting to hear him talk so fondly of his family, and it made you even more eager to meet them.
“But Eren, I need to change! I want to look more presentable-“
He reached across the table to put his finger in front of your mouth.
“You’re perfect, okay?”
It was just like him to reassure you in such a direct and heartfelt way. You smiled against his finger, and he reciprocated it.
“Okay, I trust you.”
After breakfast, you hopped on his bicycle, your arms circling his stomach, that was as hard as a rock, and he took off down the street. The ride was relaxing, your head resting against his back, eyes closed, letting yourself feel the summer breeze. As you held onto him, you could feel the muscles in his abdomen flex with each pedal stroke. The air was fresh and crisp, and the gentle rush of the wind against your face was invigorating.
The streets were familiar, yet they seemed different from this perspective, the perspective of your newfound relationship. Everything was more alive and vibrant. You watched as the neighborhood passed by, children playing on the sidewalks, dogs barking in the yards, and the everyday life of the community unfolding around you.
Then, you remembered. The flower farm you worked at was just a few blocks away from Eren’s house, and an idea formed in your mind.
“Hey, stop there.”
Eren glanced over his shoulder, following your gaze to the flower farm. He slowed down and pulled over to the side of the road, coming to a stop. "Here?"
You nodded, dismounting from the bicycle. "Yes, I just thought... maybe I could bring a bouquet for your mom. It's the least I can do, considering she's inviting me into her home."
"That's a really sweet idea," Eren said, his eyes softening. It was moments like this that cemented in his mind why he’d fallen so hard for you. You were just so kind, so thoughtful.. beautiful inside and out. “I’ll wait for you here.”
You quickly made your way into the flower farm, greeted by the familiar scents and colors that always brought you comfort. You selected a few of your favorite blooms, arranging them into a bouquet with care and attention. The colors were vibrant, and you hoped they would bring a smile to Eren's mother's face.
Returning to where Eren waited, you showed him the bouquet. "What do you think?"
"It's beautiful," he said, genuinely impressed. "She's going to love it."
As you approached his parents' house, your heart began to beat a little faster, but you tried to remain calm. When you came to a stop, Eren helped you off the bicycle, his hands steady and warm. You took a moment to compose yourself, smoothing out your clothes and running your fingers through your hair to tame it from the ride.
"Ready?" Eren asked, searching your face for any sign of hesitation.
You nodded, feeling a surge of courage. "Ready.”
Eren led you up the path to the front door, and before he could ring the bell, he looked at you one last time. "Hey," he said, his eyes searching yours. "No matter what, I'm here, okay? And they're going to love you. I know it."
You nodded, squeezing his arm. He rang the bell, and within moments, the door swung open to reveal his mom. Carla Jaeger. The resemblance between mother and son was striking; Eren had inherited her whole face, her eyes and the same kind expression that made you feel instantly at ease.
She gasped when she saw the two of you, and her eyes shone like two beautiful jewels.
“Oh wow. Eren, you didn’t tell me she was that pretty!”
The compliment sent a rush of color to your cheeks, and without thinking, you found yourself drawing closer to Eren, seeking a subtle comfort in his presence. His arm, strong and reassuring, seemed to naturally wrap around you, as if to silently say, 'I've got you.'
“Mom, this is Y/n.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, mrs. Jaeger.” You extended your hand for a handshake, and she took it instantly, holding it with her two frail hands. Her eyes sparkled with delight as she stepped aside to let you both in. "Please, call me Carla," she insisted warmly. "Mrs. Jaeger makes me sound far too formal. You of all people should be able to call me by my first name."
"Thank you, Carla," you replied, appreciating the gesture of intimacy. It was a small thing, but it spoke volumes about her character and how she viewed your relationship with her son. “Eren told me that you loved flowers.”
You extended the bouquet towards her, and her eyes immediately lit up with appreciation. "They’re beautiful, thank you so much," she inspected them thoroughly. "You have a wonderful eye for arrangements. I'll put these in water," Carla said, already moving towards the kitchen. "Please, make yourself at home."
The house was filled with the pleasant hum of a home well-lived in. The walls were adorned with family photos, and the shelves held an array of knick-knacks and books that gave the space a personal touch. It was a home that was clearly cherished, a place where memories were made and treasured.
As Carla led you through the house, Eren stayed close, his hand occasionally brushing against yours in a silent show of support. You could feel his gaze on you from time to time, checking to make sure you were comfortable. She led you to the kitchen, where the aroma of blueberry muffins filled the air. You couldn’t not notice the beautiful vase filled with white lilies, a throwback to your first conversation with Eren.
“Sit yourselves down, I’ll make some coffee. Actually, Y/n, do you drink coffee or tea?”
“Tea would be great, thank you.”
Carla nodded and smiled, moving gracefully around the kitchen to prepare the beverages. "Tea it is," she said. "We have a few different kinds. Any preference?"
As she busied herself with the kettle and the tea selection, Eren pulled out a chair for you at the kitchen table. The domestic scene was heartwarming, and you felt a sense of inclusion. Eren took the seat next to you as Carla placed a steaming mug of tea on the table, along with a small plate of muffins. "Help yourself to the muffins," she encouraged. "I baked them this morning. They're Eren's favorite."
You thanked her and took a muffin, noticing the way Eren's eyes lit up with childlike excitement at the prospect of his mother's homemade treats.
“Well, look who it is.” A male voice filled the room, and you turned to the door to see Mr. Jaeger put his keys on the kitchen counter, his smile on display. “You must be Y/n.”
“It’s nice to meet you, sir.” You stood up to shake his hand, and he gave you a friendly shake.
“There are no “sirs” around here. You can call me Grisha.” He tapped his son on the shoulder, “Eren’s been telling us so much about you.”
“Only good things, I hope.” You gave a nervous laugh.
“The best.” He winked down at his son and Eren shook his head, smiling.
Grisha's easygoing demeanor and the playful interaction between him and Eren helped to further ease any lingering nerves you might have had. The atmosphere in the Jaeger household was one of warmth and joviality, and it was clear that humor and affection were the foundations of their family life.
As Grisha joined the table, Carla brought over another mug for him, and the family settled into a comfortable routine, as if you had always been a part of it.
“Now, do tell us, how did our boy succeed in stealing your heart?”
“Dad!” Eren's protest was half-hearted, his cheeks tinged with a hint of red as his father posed the question that hung in the air, a mix of curiosity and gentle teasing. Grisha's eyes twinkled with mirth, and it was clear that he was enjoying the moment, eager to hear the story from your perspective.
You glanced at Eren, who gave you a small nod, his embarrassment giving way to a look of affection. It was your cue to share the tale, and you took a deep breath, ready to recount the story that had become a cherished memory for both of you.
"Well," you began, a smile spreading across your face as you recalled the details, "it all started in detention, actually."
“Oh, that’s gotta be interesting!”
Grisha's interest was piqued, and Carla leaned in with a look of amused anticipation. Even Eren seemed to settle in, ready to hear your version of the story, despite knowing it all too well.
"Yes, detention," you continued, the smile never leaving your face. "We were both there for completely different reasons. I had accidentally fallen asleep during class, and Eren..."
You looked at him, unsure if you should say the reason for him being there. He looked at his parents, only saying, “Jean."
They both nodded, with Carla rolling her eyes, which led you to believe they were familiar with their antics.
You continued, “Well, I was reading my book when he came up to me, and we started talking. He was interested in it and wanted me to tell him about the story.”
“Can I confess something?” Eren chimed in, “I was more interested in you.”
You playfully nudged him with your shoulder, “You don’t say. Anyway, it was just the two of us, so we came up with a plan and decided to..” you stopped again, biting your lip, realising where the story was going, and the consequences that followed right after.
“Wait, is this about the time Eren locked that grumpy teacher inside his classroom?”
You froze in place, thinking maybe this wasn’t the best story to tell his parents the first time you meet them. Given the fact you were both suspended for an entire week after that, it was probably not the best idea.
“Ugh, I can’t stand that little man!” Carla exclaimed, her previous amusement giving way to a hint of exasperation and a rebellious twinkle in her eye. "Always so sour. I'm not saying I condone what you two did, but I can't say I'm entirely surprised."
You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding, relieved by Carla's reaction. Eren gave you a reassuring look, squeezing your hand gently under the table as if to say, "See, it's okay."
“He’d tried to embarrass Y/n earlier that day. Couldn’t let that one slide.” Eren intercepted, and Grisha let out a laugh.
“Sounds like our boy, alright. Looks like you’ve got quite the knight in shining armour, Y/n.”
You couldn't help but blush at Grisha's comment. Eren's protective nature was one of the things that had drawn you to him in the first place, and it was clear his parents recognized this trait in him too.
"I guess I do," you replied with a smile, looking over at Eren, who was trying to hide his own reddening cheeks.
Eren, recovering from his moment of shyness, added with a playful grin, "Well, I can't have anyone messing with my partner in crime, can I?"
Carla shook her head with a smile, clearly amused by the banter. "Just make sure you two don't end up in actual armor, okay? I don't think I could handle bailing you out of the school dungeon."
The table erupted into laughter, the atmosphere light and full of familial warmth. Then, mrs. Jaeger started coughing, and not the kind of cough a flu could bring. It was long, and the laughter around the table faltered as her coughing grew more severe, her hand coming up to her chest as she tried to catch her breath. The jovial mood quickly shifted to one of concern. Grisha was by her side in an instant, his hand on her back, his expression a mix of worry and calm as he tried to help her through it.
"Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay." Grisha said, his voice steady but tinged with urgency.
Eren was on his feet now, his earlier embarrassment forgotten as he focused on his mother. "Mom, should I get your inhaler?" he asked, ready to spring into action.
Carla managed to nod between coughs, and Eren didn't hesitate. He dashed off into the house as you stood up as well, feeling a bit helpless but wanting to offer support in any way you could.
"It's okay, dear," Carla said between coughs, trying to reassure you and Grisha, though her voice was strained. "This happens sometimes. Just need my inhaler."
Eren returned quickly, out of breath but with the inhaler in hand. He passed it to his mother, who took a deep puff, holding it in before exhaling slowly. After a few moments and a couple more puffs, her coughing began to subside, and her breathing evened out.
"I'm sorry for the scare," Carla said, her voice still a bit weak but steadier now. "I've been dealing with this for a while. Some days are better than others."
Grisha gave her a soft smile, his eyes full of love. "The important thing is that you're okay now," he said.
Eren sat back down, the worry slowly leaving his face as he saw his mother recovering. "Yeah, Mom, you've got to take it easy," he said, the protective nature you admired so much shining through once again.
She waved her son off, “I’m fine, I’m fine.” She then turned to give you a soft smile, “I’m really glad we finally got to meet you, Y/n. Eren’s been different ever since you came into his life. No more going to the principal’s every week or so. You seem to have a good impact on him.”
You exchanged a look with her, one that truly conveyed her gratitude.
Eren smiled, his eyes now on you, “She keeps me in line.”
“Well, he’s been there for me, too. In more ways than one.” Your hand lingered on top of his, and you felt the incredible need to kiss him, but you knew now was not the right time.
Grisha, ever the observer, raised his mug in a mock toast. "To keeping each other in line, then," he said with a chuckle. "Sounds like the secret to a good partnership."
“It does, doesn’t it?” Carla looked at her husband, her eyes shining with fondness and gentle ribbing. "You could let loose from time to time, you know. Life is not only about balance. Sometimes, a little mess is good."
Grisha's eyes met Carla's, and he gave a mock sigh of resignation. "I suppose you're right," he conceded with a playful roll of his eyes. "A little mess never hurt anyone. It's the spice of life, I guess."
Eren watched the exchange with a smile, clearly enjoying the banter between his parents. It was evident that their relationship was built on a strong foundation of love and mutual respect, peppered with the ability to laugh and tease one another.
You couldn't help but smile at the scene before you, feeling a sense of inclusion. The Jaegers were.. they were what truly family was all about. Their ability to embrace life's imperfections, to find humor in the chaos, and to support one another through it all was inspiring. It was a reminder that family wasn’t about being perfect; it was about being there for each other, through the mess and the triumphs alike.
“I think I’m going to start on lunch.” Carla said, but before she could start rummaging through the kitchen drawers, her husband stopped her in her tracks.
“I’m making lunch. You sit down and rest.” He gave her a quick peck on the forehead, then turned to Eren, “Come help me start the barbecue, son.”
Eren kissed your cheek, then got on his feet and followed his father to the backyard. They had a big yard, and it was a sunny day, a perfect time for a barbecue.
As you watched Eren and his dad prepare the grill, the way they moved with an easy familiarity, it was clear that this was a ritual they had shared many times before. The clinking of the tools and the crackling of the fire blended with the sounds of nature in the Jaegers' backyard, creating a symphony of domestic bliss.
Mrs. Jaeger watched as well, with a genuine smile on her face, and yet.. you could sense the sadness in her eyes, a mother's concern that never fully fades even in moments of joy. It was a look that spoke volumes about the love she had for her family and the silent strength she carried within her. She was a beautiful, but frail woman, her big sweater doing nothing to conceal the fragility that seemed to be a part of her very essence. The coughing fit had been a stark reminder of her vulnerability, and it was clear that her health was something that weighed on her mind, as well as on the minds of her family.
“I really meant what I said, Y/n.” The woman spoke, her eyes still glued on her family. “Thank you for being there for him. The last year and a half has been.. challenging. I was afraid he was going to keep spiraling, getting into trouble, but then you came along.”
She was now looking at you you, her gaze filled with gratitude and relief. It was clear that your presence in Eren's life had made a significant impact, not just on him, but on his entire family.
"You've grounded him," Carla continued, her voice soft but earnest. "Helped him not think about.. everything."
You felt a swell of emotion at her words. You knew he was different, you’d seen it, felt it yourself, but hearing it from his own mother meant the world to you.
"I care about him a lot," you replied, meeting her gaze. "And he’s been there for me just as much as I've been there for him. We support each other."
Carla reached out, placing a gentle hand over yours. "That's what it's all about, isn't it?" she said with a smile. "I can see how much you both mean to each other, and it gives me peace of mind to know he has someone like you in his corner."
You nodded your head, your gaze back on the boy who’d stolen your heart, “I want to thank you, too. You’ve done a wonderful job with him. He’s.. everything I could ever ask for.”
“Oh, sweetheart, stop it, you’ll make me emotional!” Carla exclaimed, and you both shared a laugh. Her laughter was a balm to your ears, and as you both settled into a comfortable silence, your thoughts drifted to your own mother. The change in her had been palpable ever since your father left. Where there was once warmth and open communication, there was now a cold distance that seemed to stretch further with each passing day.
Her lively spirit, which used to fill the house with joy and endless chatter, had become withdrawn, her smiles fewer and her conversations clipped. The light in her eyes had dimmed, replaced by a weariness that seemed to weigh down her every movement. She was there, but not in the way she used to be—her presence more like a ghost of the vibrant woman she once was.
You understood her pain, the sense of abandonment and betrayal that must have eaten away at her, but it pained you to see her so altered, so consumed by the shadows of what used to be. You longed for the days when your mother was your confidante and your pillar of strength, not this shell of her former self, moving through the days with a hollowed-out heart.
Sharing this moment with Carla, you were reminded of the stark contrast between the lively, loving atmosphere of the Jaegers and the quiet desolation that had settled over your own home. It made you appreciate the Jaegers' warmth even more and deepened your gratitude for the sense of family they extended to you—a gift that was all the more precious given the void that had formed in your own life.
"Life has a way of throwing us curveballs," The woman before you spoke, as if she could read your thoughts. "But it's how we catch them—or pick them up after they've hit the ground—that really counts."
You nodded, looking down at your tea. “I like how that sounds.” For a moment, you debated if you should confide in her, having met her only today. But there was something about this woman, about her demeanor and outlook on life, that made you feel safe. It was a feeling you hadn't realized you'd been missing until now.
You took a deep breath, feeling the words rise up from within. "My mom... she's been different ever since my dad left. It's like the life has been drained out of her, and I don't know how to bring her back. We were so close before.. I miss her—the way she used to be."
Carla's expression softened, her eyes reflecting a deep empathy. She looked at you like this wasn’t the first time she’d heard that story, probably because Eren had already mentioned it. Which, you were kind of thankful for. It meant he cared enough to seek support for you even when you weren't around, and that Carla was now a willing confidante, ready to offer comfort and advice.
"I’m very sorry to hear that, Y/n. It's never easy, seeing the ones we love change before our eyes," Carla said gently. "But remember, healing is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, patience, and a lot of love. Your mother may seem lost right now, but she's still in there, somewhere. And with you by her side, she has a beacon of hope to guide her back."
Her words were a comfort, and in that moment, you felt a connection with her, one that went beyond casualties. She was offering you a piece of wisdom that came from experience, from her own life's trials and tribulations.
"I truly hope so," you said, your voice thick with emotion. "I'll keep trying with her. Maybe one day, she'll be ready to start picking up those curveballs herself."
Carla reached to touch your cheek, her palm warm like her soul. "I’m sure she will, in her own time. And she's lucky to have you. Just like we're lucky to have you here with us."
“Thank you, Carla. This… it really means a lot to me.”
Carla's touch was reassuring, and her kind words wrapped around you like a comforting embrace. "You're welcome, dear," she replied with a gentle smile. "We all need a little support sometimes. Don't hesitate to reach out, whether it's to talk about your mom or anything else. We're family now."
You nodded, feeling a sense of belonging that was both new and deeply cherished. The kindness and openness this woman shared with you was like a soothing balm to the ache you'd been carrying around. It was a stark reminder that, while you couldn't control everything that happened in life, you could choose the people you surrounded yourself with—people who could make the burdens feel a little lighter.
“Now, do you think you could help me set the table? I could even show you my special lemonade recipe.” She sent a playful wink your way.
"I'd love to," you responded, the corners of your mouth lifting into a genuine smile.
Carla stood up to show you around the kitchen, and together you began to gather the plates, utensils, and glasses needed for the meal. The clink of cutlery and the clatter of dishes became the backdrop to a new kind of intimacy, one that was formed through shared tasks and quiet conversation.
As you worked, Carla shared her recipe, explaining each step with the care of someone passing down a treasured secret. You listened intently, taking note of the way she squeezed the lemons just so, the exact amount of sugar she added, and the sprigs of mint she used for garnish. The simplicity of the task, paired with the significance of the moment, made you feel more at home than you had in a long time.
With the table set, the bouquet you gifted her centered right at the middle of it, and the lemonade prepared, you stepped back to admire your handiwork. The kitchen was now transformed into a cozy dining space.
"Looks perfect," Carla said, surveying the scene with a satisfied nod. "Thank you, Y/n. You're a natural at this."
Just then, Eren and his father appeared at the door, the scent of grilled food preceding them. "Wow, look at this!" Eren exclaimed, his eyes taking in the spread. "You two have been busy."
His father placed a hand on your shoulder, a silent gesture of thanks that spoke louder than words. "You're part of the team now," he said with a warm smile.
As everyone took their seats around the table, the afternoon sun casting a golden glow over the scene, you felt a profound sense of peace. Eren sat next to you, his hand never leaving your knee, and in that moment, you just knew.
This was exactly where you were supposed to be.
…..
It was a silent night. A night where the crickets could be heard, their sound still gracing your town’s fields and grass because of the warm weather. You were lying in your bed, staring up at the dark ceiling, unable to fall asleep no matter how much you tried. It’d been two days since your conversation with him. Two days of overworking yourself so you could not think about him. Two days of failing because of all the waking up in the middle of the night, your conversation still fresh in your mind.
Lily was fast asleep in her room, unaware of your inner turmoils. At least you hoped she was. The first day of school was just one day away, and she was beaming with excitement, talking about anything and everything she couldn’t wait to do now that she was a “big girl”. It was heartwarming to listen to her, and it gave you a reason to smile amidst the swirl of emotions you were caught in. Lily's happiness was infectious, and it reminded you why you pushed through the tough times. Her joy and innocence were like beacon in a storm, guiding you back to what truly mattered.
But now, in the quiet of the night, your thoughts drifted once again to Eren and the small piece of paper that now sat on your nightstand. The mere act of taking his number didn't bind you to anything, but it symbolized a bridge — a potential pathway back to someone who had once meant the world to you.
With each silent tick of the clock, your mind played through a thousand different scenarios. What could happen if you called? What would remain if you chose not to? But there was a more pressing question that you couldn’t escape: What did you want to happen?
You rolled over in bed, trying to find a comfortable position that might welcome sleep. Your life had done a whole 180 since he came back, and you were afraid of the same thing happening to your baby girl. How could you answer her questions without breaking her heart if you decided to tell her about him? Even if you came up with some dumb lie that could evidently cause more damage as she grew older, that would only put a bandage on the wound. It wouldn’t fix anything.
But what if Eren was telling the truth? What if he really wanted to be a dad to her? It would be like taking away her chance of having both parents present in her life. But what if.. what if he left again?
You took a deep sigh, palms pressed against your face. You looked at the clock. It was 11:45pm. Screw it.
You jumped off your bed to grab the little piece of paper and began dialing his number, thinking he probably wasn’t asleep. Even if he was, you didn’t care. You didn’t know if you would get that kind of courage again.
He answered after the second beep.
"Hello?" Eren's voice came through the line, alert enough to recognize the urgency of a late-night call.
"Hey, it's me," you said, your voice steadier than you felt. The crickets' chorus seemed to quiet as if the night itself was holding its breath, waiting for what would come next.
“I know.” I know your phone number by heart, he thought. “Is everything okay?”
You took a deep breath, closing your eyes as a means to collect your thoughts. You wanted to tell him that no, everything was not okay. That you’ve been thinking about your conversation, about everything, and that you couldn’t sleep a wink because of it. But instead, you decided to opt with something entirely different.
“The first day of school is in one day.”
Eren went silent. He knew, of course, but he couldn’t quite understand why you were mentioning it.
“Yeah, I know..” he replied, a note of confusion in his voice, “Is Lily okay? Are you?”
"She's more than okay. She's excited, can't stop talking about it," you said, a small smile forming as you thought of your daughter's enthusiasm.
“I’m glad.” You could almost hear the smile in his voice. “It’s her big day, after all.”
Then, you became quiet again. The silence stretched between you, filled with the weight of unspoken thoughts and lingering emotions. Eren seemed to sense your hesitation, your internal struggle with the complexities of the situation.
“Y/n.. is everything-“
“We’re having a gathering at home after the school ceremony. I want you to come.”
The words came out before you could second-guess yourself, a decision made in the quiet space between heartbeats.
“It’ll be only close friends and some neighbors. Your dad, too.” You decided to add.
Eren's response took a few seconds, but you couldn’t miss the excitement, surprise and gratitude mixed within his voice. "I... yes, yes, I'll be there. Just tell me the time."
You nodded, even though he couldn't see you. "It'll be in the afternoon, after the ceremony. I'll text you the details," you said, your voice steady despite the fluttering in your stomach.
"Okay, I'll wait for your message. And Y/n… I… ", Eren paused, as if choosing his words carefully, "Thank you. I really appreciate this.” He went quiet again before he spoke, “I'm going to make sure you don't regret it."
You let out a breath you didn't realize you'd been holding. "We'll see," you said, not ready to make any promises or set any expectations. "For now, let's just focus on making it a good day for her."
"Yeah, yeah, of course," Eren agreed. "She's going to have the best first day. I'm sure of it."
"Yeah, she will" you whispered, a small smile returning as you thought of your daughter's excitement. “And Eren.. I haven’t told her anything yet.”
“Yeah, I understand. I told you, whatever you say, that’s what happens.”
"Okay. Goodnight.”
"Goodnight, Y/n," Eren said softly, a note of warmth in his voice.
The room was quiet once more, the earlier tension replaced by a cautious hope. You were still unsure about the future, about how things would unfold, but you had taken a step. For now, that was enough.
As you lay back down, the crickets outside resumed their song, a familiar and comforting sound. You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to imagine the gathering, the school ceremony, and the look of joy on Lily's face. With those thoughts filling your mind, you finally felt sleep begin to take hold, offering you a respite from the whirlwind of emotions and a chance to finally rest.
Hi ♥️ I hope everything is well for you…I just wanted to ask is ‘Lost and Found’ still on board or discontinued…I really love that fic 🥹 take care and lots of love 💕
Hi sweetheart… I know I’m so late with that fic but believe it or not, it’s not discontinued and I’m 95% done with the latest chapter (it’ll be pretty long). It’s just that I’m getting married in September, and sadly been having some problems with my partner and I rarely have the time to write anymore. I’ve been getting back to it as of late so I hope to start posting more regularly. Also, writers become more motivated when their works get engagement (comments and reposts) instead of only likes, so for everyone who’s reading this, give writers some love, pleaaase🥺❤️
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"Mommy! Daddy’s here!” The sound of tiny footsteps echoed through the apartment, causing your maternal instincts to kick in. Worried that your daughter might trip on the stairs, you hurriedly made your way to the hallway. To your surprise, you found her standing by the door, her little backpack neatly packed, and her favorite plush toy clutched tightly under her arm.
"Sweetheart, what have I told you about running down the stairs?" you asked, trying to hide your smile at how adorable she looked.
"I know... sorry," she replied, giving you the most irresistible puppy eyes, swaying on her feet as if she knew exactly how to melt your heart. Just like someone else you knew.
"Mr. Poodles is coming with you, huh?" you said, kneeling down to help her tie her shoes properly.
"He can't wait to see Daddy, just like me," she grinned, hugging her stuffed animal. "Wish you were coming too."
For a moment, you froze. "This is your time with Daddy, baby. You've spent the whole day with me."
"But don't you want to have fun with me and Daddy too?" she asked, her innocent eyes searching for an answer. Right as she finished her question, the person of your discussion knocked on the apartment door.
"Daddy!" Your daughter practically pushed you out of the way as soon as you opened it, throwing herself into her father's arms.
"Wow! You're getting bigger every day!" he exclaimed, holding her tightly. "How's my baby girl?"
"I can't wait to go to the ice rink!" she squealed with excitement.
"Oh, me too, baby. Do you have your skates ready?"
"Umm, I think they're upstairs."
"Then go fetch 'em!" releasing her from his embrace, you both watched as she sprinted towards the stairs.
“Remember what I said!” you said after her, but she was too eager to hear your reminder.
You turned your attention back to her father, who was still smiling goofily, his eyes fixed on the direction your daughter had gone.
"She's been talking about this all day," you said to him, your lips curving into a smile.
Eren turned to face you, his gaze lingering a bit too long on your features before he spoke. "Yeah, she's been wanting to go for some time now."
"Just keep an eye on her, please. You know how hyperactive she can get, just like-"
"Me?" Eren tried to hide his smile, but it was evident, causing you to roll your eyes.
"Yes, just like you," you replied, a hint of affection in your voice.
You stare at each other for a few moments, before Eren grabs his backpack and begins to rummage through it. “I, uh.. got you something.”
You adjoin your eyebrows in confusion, but then he clarifies. “For your birthday.”
“Eren, you shouldn’t ha-“
“I wanted to.” He declares with a tone that suggests there’s no point in fighting him about it. After he gets a tiny present box out of his backpack, he moves closer, handing it to you.
"Thanks." You smile timidly, trying to escape his gaze. When you open it, your eyes grow wide. “Oh my god, Eren..”
You put your hand against your mouth in awe of the golden necklace positioned in the little box. It’s a lock necklace in the shape of a heart, with your daughter’s picture right at the center of it.
“Eren, this is... it’s beautiful.” Your eyes are still large as you inspect the jewelry, “thank you, thank you so much.”
“I’m glad you like it.” Eren casts a warm smile your way. You exchange glances with him, something you can’t quite decipher shining in his jewel eyes. “I was thinking-“
“I’m ready!” Your little bundle of joy appears in front of you, showcasing her pink glittery skates in her hand.
“Yeah?” Eren kneels next to her, giving a kiss on her puffy cheek. He looks at her, then at you, and then leans closer to your daughter’s ear, “Say, sweetheart.. don’t you think mommy should come with us, too?”
She doesn’t even waste a second, “Yes! Mommy, please come with us!”
You shake your head, “I can’t, sweetheart, I have work to do.”
“But it’s Saturday! Saturday is for fun!” Your daughter purses her upper lip, giving you the cutest little pout you’ve ever seen.
“She does have a point.” Eren nods his head. “Come on. I’ll be making pasta later.” He tilts his head the same way he does every time he tries to persuade you about something. And you hate that you’re debating it. It’s been four months since the last time you allowed yourself to spend time with Eren, and it was the same time you decided that it’d be best to co-parent instead of trying to fix your complicated relationship. He’d agreed to it, although it took him some time to understand what that actually meant. No more touching, kissing, spending nights together. It was hard for him, but with time, it seemed like he accepted it. Your kid was the most important thing for the both of you.
But even so, you could feel that there was still something. He was the father of your kid, and it didn’t help how amazing he was with her. Every time you saw them together, your heart would skip a beat. You couldn’t have asked for a better dad for your little girl. He did everything for her, helped her with school, taught her how to ride a bike, spent an enormous amount of time just playing with her and paying her attention. You were so grateful for that.
And you knew he still had a thing for you. He hadn’t gotten a new girlfriend even though women ogled him left and right, and when he would come to pick your kid up, he’d always talk to you, not being so smooth in trying to find out if you were dating someone or not.
Eren can see you’re still debating it, so he raises his arm in the air, “Everyone who wants mama to come, raise your hand.”
Your daughter follows suit, one tiny hand in the air, the other one holding onto Mr. Poodles’s hand. And you want to cry because this is the cutest image in the entire world.
“See, three against one.” Eren smirks your way, and of course, your cheeky daughter mimics it. That’s when you know, you’ve lost.
“Fine.” They both erupt into cheers, giving each other high fives. “Only for a little while, though.”
“Yes, ma’am!”
…..
The ice rink wasn’t as full as you’d expected for a Saturday, which was a welcome surprise. You couldn’t even remember the last time you went, but it was probably with Eren. He was the one that taught you, and then taught your little girl as well. It always amazed you how even though he was pretty impatient as a person, he was always so patient when it came to her... and to you, too. You really liked that about him.
You watched your daughter grab onto her father’s hand as they slid their skates across the rink, and you couldn’t help but feel your heart get full.
“Mommy! Come on!” She shouts to you, waving her little hand as Eren turns to look at you, a soft smile gracing his lips.
And if you really think about it, this is all you’ve ever wanted.
…..
“I should go.” You say as you gather your skates in one hand, watching as Eren helps your daughter undo hers. You’d been skating for the past two hours, and it was beginning to get cold, so after having spent the best time laughing and doing circles around the rink, with your bundle of joy holding you and Eren by your hands, you’d decided to call it a day.
“Don’t,” Eren basically jumps from the ground, his reaction surprising all three of you. Trying not to cringe from his sudden actions, he moves a bit closer, until you can faintly smell his cologne. “Please stay.”
You’d be lying if you said you expected the vulnerable tone those words came out with. He locked his gaze with yours, the pleading look in his eyes striking something deep inside your chest.
You still don’t say anything, so Eren tries again, “We’ll drive you afterwards. Right, sweetheart?” He turns to his daughter, who’s already giving you her irresistibly green puppy eyes.
“Please, mama. Mr. Poodles is gonna be sad if you leave.” She’s bringing the plush toy to her chest, her pointy chin resting on the animal’s head. They’re both really working you today.
You move your stare back to Eren’s, who looks like a little boy waiting for his parents to allow him something he really wants. You ignore the nestled feeling inside your chest, the one that seems to know why he’s acting this way. Finally, you sigh, tilting your head to catch your daughter’s expression again, “Well, I guess I can’t let Mr. Poodles be sad, now can I?”
…..
You hadn’t been to Eren’s new place ever since he left your shared apartment. You knew where it was because you’d often pick your daughter up from there, but you never felt comfortable enough to go in. Deep inside, you knew why you never wanted to. Not that you’d admit it to yourself or anyone else, but truth was, you were scared. Scared of accidentally bumping into a hook up, even though you knew he’d never allow that while your kid was there. But still, you were always on edge. You were afraid of him living the bachelor life now that you officially weren’t together, because as much as you wanted him to be happy, seeing your daughter’s father with another woman was something you weren’t sure you were ever going to be ready for.
But now, as you make your first step inside, you’re instantly washed with a sense of relief. The place isn’t big nor small, there’s just the right amount of space for a single dad whose kid comes over a couple of times a week. It’s tidy, there is no cereal on the table or alcohol bottles scattered around the shelves. There are a few plants positioned next to the window, their leaves as green as their owner’s eyes. You can even see the little cherry tomato tree you gave him as a gift after your third date—you’d made cherry tomato pasta that he absolutely loved, begging you for the recipe afterwards. Even though it was pretty simple, his reaction made you so happy, you gifted him the tree the next time you guys saw each other. You’d told him that whenever he wanted, you could make it for him with homemade tomatoes.
“Mommy, look what daddy and I drew!” Your daughter breaks your train of memories when she sprints towards the coffee table in the living room, grabbing what you suspect is the drawing, “Look! It’s us!”
She proudly presents the painting to you, smiling from ear to ear. You crouch down next to her, examining what you presume is all three of you holding each other by the hand, with wide smiles drawn on your faces. You can’t help but grin.
“Oh wow, you’re quite the artist, aren’t you?”
“Daddy helped!” She goes to grab her father by the hand, and you exchange glances with his handsome face, emerald eyes shooting arrows right through your heart.
“I bet he did.” You look down at the picture again, memorizing every little detail. How your hair is in your usual hairstyle, how Eren’s shirt is in his favorite green, how your daughter has a huge grin on her face, the same one she has on right now in front of you. And even when just looking at this drawing is enough to fill your heart with joy, you know that it’s not really similar to your real life. Because you and Eren.. you’re separated. You don’t take your kid for walks in the park together. You don’t go to the movies as a family. You don’t fall asleep in his arms after you’ve read your kid a bedtime story. The only time in the near past that you felt this way was today.. at the ice rink. It amazed you how life had the unimaginable gift of making you forget all the bad with just a little bit of good.
Eren notices the sudden sullen look on your face, so he quickly changes the subject, “All right girls, go sit yourselves down. I’m going to start dinner.”
…..
The sweet aroma of sizzling garlic fills the air of the kitchen. You’re seated opposite your little girl, who is now drawing a picture of a cat she’d seen outside the ice rink. It was her favourite animal, something she doesn’t keep away from you or Eren, giving not so subtle hints of what she would describe as the perfect birthday present.
“It smells really good.”
You say, trying to keep the conversation light and neutral. You're aware of the tension that underlies these simple domestic moments, but you're also conscious of the need to maintain a sense of normalcy for your daughter's sake.
Eren glances over his shoulder, offering you a small, appreciative smile. "Thanks. I'm making that cherry tomato pasta. Remember, the one you taught me?"
You nod, the memory bittersweet. "Yeah, I remember."
Your daughter, oblivious to the emotional undercurrents, chatters excitedly about the orange cat she’s drawing, her words filling the space with innocent energy. You listen to her, responding with the appropriate nods and laughs, but part of your attention remains on Eren. The ease with which he handles the kitchen utensils and the familiar way he moves around the space remind you of the times you cooked together, a pang of nostalgia hitting you as you watch.
The pasta is served, with Eren sitting down beside you. You take a bite, the flavors just as you remember, and you can't help but compliment him. "You've got this down to a T," you say, a genuine smile touching your lips.
Eren looks at you, his eyes filled with what you can only describe as warmth. "I had a good teacher," he replies before he turns his attention back to your daughter, who is happily twirling pasta onto her fork.
“Do you like it, little miss?” He asks her, removing some stray hairs from her face so they don’t end up in her meal. The sight makes your heart swell.
“Best pasta ever!” She gives him a grin and Eren chuckles, pinching her on the nose.
“You’re the cutest kid ever.”
“Have to agree with that statement.” You chime in, smiling at them both.
“It’s no surprise. You made her.”
Eren's comment catches you off guard, a compliment wrapped in a simple truth, and it brings a flush to your cheeks.
You give a soft laugh, brushing off the sentiment with a playful roll of your eyes, but inside, your heart feels a gentle tug. "Well, I had some help.”
Eren nods his head, attempting to conceal his smile, but it was futile. The warmth of the moment seems to hang in the air and the rest of the meal passes with ease, punctuated by laughter and the occasional playful banter. It's a reminder of the chemistry that once brought you together, still present in these small interactions. As you watch Eren interact with your daughter, his love for her evident in every gesture and word, you once again prove to yourself that choosing him as the father of your child was the right choice. Despite the separation, he remains a devoted father in every aspect, and that's something you can't help but respect.
After dinner, as Eren clears the table and insists on handling the dishes, you take the opportunity to spend some quiet time with your daughter, helping her with a puzzle she shows you, one that she’d started with her dad a week ago.
“You’re not ready for what I’m about to show you.” Eren’s voice carries a playful tone as he approaches, drying his hands on a dish towel.
“What is it?” You turn to him, trying to ignore the way he’s rolled up his sleeves, his big, veiny hands on display.
“Just wait here.” He says with a grin, disappearing for a moment into another room. When he returns, he’s holding something behind his back, a knowing smile playing on his lips. You exchange a curious look with your daughter, who shrugs with an amused smile. Then with a flourish, Eren presents what looks like an album, one you instantly recognise when you read the title emblazoned across the cover. It's a photo album you both started when your daughter was born, filled with snapshots of her life, from her very first moments in this world.
You take it in your hands as if you’re holding the most precious thing in your life — because in a way, you are. The album is more than just a collection of photographs; it's a tangible chronicle of your daughter's journey, a narrative woven together by the love and care of her parents. You run your fingers over the title, the letters familiar and filled with a history that only you and Eren understand.
“I haven’t seen this in forever.” You say, with a sort of awe in your voice as you flip the first page. There she was, your daughter, in her very first photograph, a tiny bundle swaddled in a hospital blanket.
“Found it at my mom’s house.” Eren says as he settles on the living room couch beside you. You lean into the comfort of the cushions, the album resting on your lap, and as you turn the pages, you're enveloped by the warmth of the memories it holds.
Each photograph tells a story, and you're struck by the vividness of those early days, the emotions as fresh as if they were just yesterday. The sleep-deprived smiles, the first time your daughter grasped your finger, the countless expressions of wonder as she discovered the world around her—all are captured in these pages.
"It's amazing you found this," you say, looking over at Eren with gratitude. "I didn't even realize how much I missed it until now."
Eren nods, his gaze lingering on the images. "Yeah, I stumbled upon it while helping Mom with some cleaning. I figured we should have it here, where we can all look at it whenever we want."
The two of you continue to reminisce, sharing stories and laughter as your daughter, now more interested in the album than her puzzle, climbs onto the couch to join you. She points to a photo of herself as a toddler, her face painted with an expression of pure joy, and asks about the day it was taken.
"That was your second birthday," Eren explains, his voice tinged with nostalgia. "You had that little cake with the cartoon characters on it. You were so excited you barely let us cut it."
“Can I have the same one on my next birthday?” She asks with that childlike innocence that makes each question so endearing.
"Of course, sweetheart," you reply, matching her enthusiasm. "We'll find a cake that makes you just as happy as that one did. Maybe we can even add some new decorations to make it extra special for this year."
Eren nods in agreement, always ready to make her birthday wishes come true. "We'll make it a great birthday," he assures her. "Maybe we can even look at some pictures together and pick out what you like best for the cake design."
Your daughter claps her hands excitedly, the prospect of planning her cake adding to the anticipation of her birthday, no matter that it was 5 months ahead. "Yay! I want it to be a surprise, though. I want to see it and be like, 'Wow!'"
You both laugh, charmed by her excitement and her desire for a surprise. "It'll be our little project," Eren tells her. "A big, happy birthday surprise."
The evening continues with a warm, gentle rhythm as you turn more pages of the album. Each photograph sparks a new conversation, a new story, or a fond recollection. And as the night progressed and the album came to an end, your daughter ended up falling asleep on your shoulder.
Eren quietly gathers her in his arms and carries her to her bedroom, her head resting against his shoulder as he walks. You follow, watching the tender scene. The house was quiet, save for the soft sounds of your daughter's breathing and the faint creak of the floorboards underfoot.
Once in her room, Eren gently lays her down in her bed, taking care not to wake her. He pulls the covers up to her chin and tucks them around her snugly, ensuring she is comfortable and warm. You stay in the doorway, your heart full, observing this nightly ritual that never seems to lose its significance.
With the stealth and coordination of seasoned parents, you both retreat from the room, Eren turning off the light and closing the door just enough to leave a comforting sliver of light from the hallway. The two of you return to the living room, the silence a stark contrast to the laughter and storytelling that had filled it just a short while ago.
“It's been a good day," Eren says softly, his voice reflecting the peaceful atmosphere.
"Yeah, it really has," you agree, leaning against his kitchen counter.
Eren looks down at his feet, like he’s trying to find the proper words. "I wanted.. to say thank you. For tonight, for this," he gestures to the space around you, encompassing the warmth of the evening spent together, "for everything."
You offer him a soft smile, "I'm glad we did it," you reply. "It's important, for her."
And for us.
“She was really happy, wasn’t she?”
You nod, trying not to look him in the eyes. You felt.. vulnerable. You and him, alone, in this close proximity.. it hasn’t happened in a long time. And with the way your heart is beating, you know what you should do next, no matter if it is the last thing you want to do.
“I should get going. It’s getting late.” You tell him quietly, afraid of not waking your daughter up.
“Wait,” he grabs your hand just before you begin to walk away. Eren's grip is gentle but firm, a silent plea for just a moment longer. You pause, turning back to face him and those beautiful green eyes of his.
“Y/n, I…” he hesitates, searching for the right words, his eyes locked with yours. “I’ve missed you.”
Your mouth opens slightly, but words don’t find you. There’s a flutter in your chest, his words stirring emotions you've tried to keep at bay
You watch his face contort into a melancholic smile, “I barely functioned without you.”
The confession hangs in the air, heavy with the weight of unspoken truths. You can see the sincerity in Eren's eyes, the raw honesty that he's allowing you to see. It's disarming, and for a moment, you're transported back to a time when the distance between you didn't exist.
You swallow hard, the flutter in your chest growing into a storm of emotions that you struggle to contain. Nonetheless, you try to keep the conversation light, letting out a low laugh.
“Seems like you’ve been doing fine.”
But Eren doesn’t buy that. He takes a few steps closer to you, his eyes unwavering.
“Yeah, well, I had to. Doesn’t mean you haven’t been on my mind the whole time.”
The proximity and his familiar scent make your heart race, and the walls you've built to compartmentalize your feelings feel as though they're beginning to crumble. You take a deep breath, trying to maintain your composure. The closeness is overwhelming, and you're reminded of the intimacy you once shared. It's a dangerous territory, and part of you wants to step back, to reestablish the boundaries that have kept you both grounded in your new reality.
“Eren, we’ve been through this-“
“I can’t be with anyone else.” He spits out, and you’re left speechless. His declaration cuts through the air, leaving a silence that feels both heavy and electric.
“And I’ve tried- fuck, I’ve really tried, but it doesn’t work. You’re my girl.”
Your stomach is doing somersaults. The intensity of the confession sends your emotions into overdrive, and for a moment, you're caught in the eye of a storm that's been quietly brewing. His words, raw and unfiltered, resonate with a part of you that you've tried to keep hidden away, a part that still responds to him with a familiar pull.
“Eren, this isn’t right- things are fine now, for the first time in a long time. We’ve worked too hard for this, for where we are now.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” His eyes convey his apology, but you can see he’s been keeping this inside for way too long. “But I really don’t think I can ever imagine my life without you.”
“You won’t have to, we have a child-“
“Yes, I know.” It comes out a bit harsh, but he doesn’t mean for it to be. “But just the thought that you might end up with someone else.. it’s like a fucking tumor inside my brain.”
The rawness in Eren's voice strikes a chord within you, and you can't help but empathize with the pain he's expressing. It's clear that his feelings are genuine and that he's been wrestling with them for some time. Yet, despite the empathy you feel, you know that the health of your family dynamic is at stake.
“Eren.” You say softly but firmly, “We have a little kid together. I don’t want to screw her up like my parents did me. I want her to be happy.”
“Don’t you think she will be, though? All she does is ask me when I’m moving back. We’ve never fought in front of her. You know I’d never let that happen.”
“Yes, but we did fight a lot last time. I don’t want to live like that, like my-“
“Hey, we are not your parents, okay?” He cradles your face in his hands, and that’s when you realise there were tears forming in the corners of your eyes, “Stop thinking about them and just think about us.”
You stay like that, looking up at him, his touch gentle and comforting.
“I’m so sorry about last time, believe me. I’ve learned from my mistakes. And I know it’s hard for you, but I’ll show you. All I want is for you and our baby to be happy.”
The warmth of his hands on your face and the sincerity in his eyes make it hard to maintain the walls you've built to protect yourself.
“I love you to death, y’know that, right?”
And then, it’s all over.
“Eren..“, you hiccup, crumbling into his arms, sobbing quietly as the emotional dam breaks. The stress of holding back, of trying to be strong and keep everything together, is suddenly too much.
"I know," he murmurs, his voice a soothing balm as he holds you close. "I'm here. I've got you."
The comfort of his embrace allows you to let go, if only for a moment, of the fears and doubts that have been haunting you. In the safety of his arms, you allow yourself to feel the full extent of your emotions—the love, the hurt, the hope, and the uncertainty.
“There’s never going to be anyone else for me. Ever.” He whispers, “I’m willing to do the work. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
You feel the steady beat of his heart against your ear, a rhythm that once felt as familiar as your own. He loves you. He truly does, and you know that, you’ve always known. After a moment, he brings you back by the shoulders so he can look at your face.
“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”
“Stop it.”
You try to hide yourself in your hands, but he catches them softly.
“It’s true. No one else compares, baby.” He brings his hands to your hips, and your heart skips a beat. “No one.”
“Eren..”, you say his name softly, eyes glued to his pretty lips.
“Yeah?” He reciprocates your tone, and you’re sure he’s caught on the change of atmosphere. Of course he has, he’s the one who started it.
“I’ve missed you, too.” You encircle your arms around his neck, bringing him even closer.
“Shit, not as much as me.” He presses his forehead against yours, his eyes closed, “It was like a part of me was gone. The only time I felt happy was when I was with our baby girl.. and when I’d see you.”
“I.. I didn’t know what to do. I thought this was the best decision, but.. I was so sad, Eren.”
“I’m sorry, baby.” He rubs soothing circles around your hips, “If I wasn’t such an idiot, this wouldn’t have happened.”
You stay like that for a while before he catches your chin between his fingers, making your eyes meet. “Do you love me still?”
Even if you wanted to deny it, you couldn’t bring yourself to.
“.. Yes.”
You’d never seen him smile like that. It was the purest, most joyful smile you’ve ever seen on a person. He doesn’t waste any time, pulling your face closer until your lips meet, the kiss soft but passionate, one that sends butterflies across your whole being, one that you’ve dreamed about for the past 5 months.
When the kiss ends, his gaze rests on your face, “Then..”, he removes a strand of hair behind your ear, “if you still trust me, give us another chance, Y/n.”
You’re embarrassed by how aroused you feel in this moment, with his body pressed against yours, faces inches away.
“Kiss me again.” You whisper before pulling him to you again, this time taking the lead, your hands leading his to your lower back, signaling for him to pick you up. Eren doesn’t need an explanation with words, he knows exactly what you want. And even though he wants it more than anything in the world right now, he still knows that he needs to be cautious, to ensure that this is what you truly want and not just a momentary lapse driven by old feelings and the intimacy of the moment.
He looks into your eyes, searching for confirmation, for the certainty that this step is one you both want to take. "Are you sure?" he asks quietly, his voice a mix of desire and concern. The last thing he wants is to rush you or make a decision that could complicate the fragile progress you've been making.
"Yes," you reply, your voice steady, eyes locked with his. There's a clarity in your decision, a conscious choice that speaks to the connection you still share. You're aware of the significance of this moment, of the potential it has to either rekindle something beautiful or to reignite past pains. But right now, you're choosing to focus on the present, on the longing you feel, and the man before you who still holds your heart.
“Take me to bed, Eren. Please.”
With your affirmation, Eren gently lifts you, your legs wrapping around his waist as he supports you with strong arms. The kiss deepens, fueled by longing and a profound familiarity that has never truly faded. It's a dance of lips and breath, a silent conversation that speaks volumes about the love and tension that have always characterized your relationship.
Eren carries you with a tenderness that belies his strength, each step towards the bedroom measured and deliberate. The world outside this moment—the doubts, the history, the fears—falls away, leaving only the two of you and the undeniable pull that has always existed between you.
As he lays you down on the bed, there's a reverence in his touch, a silent promise to cherish and respect the trust you're placing in him. He kisses your lips, your cheeks, your chin, and each kiss is a wordless vow, a gentle affirmation of his love for you. Eren's lips move with a purpose, tracing a path of passion across your neck, your soft breaths an indication that he’s on the right path. When he reaches the buttons of your shirt, his eyes meet yours again, a silent question lingering in them, seeking permission to continue. You nod slightly, watching as he undoes each button slowly. When he realises you’re not wearing a bra, he lets out a low groan before taking a nipple inside his mouth. You moan, his expert tongue drawing circles around the nub, making you feel a warmth at the pit of your stomach. His fingers go to the other breast, squeezing it not too gently, something you understand given the fact he hasn’t touched you in more than five months.
“You have the most perfect tits.” The comment pulls a soft giggle out of you, one that disappears the moment his palm lands on your clothed heat. Now he’s the one smiling, his tongue still working your sensitive nipples. He knew you loved it when he played with your breasts.
When he decides to keep going down, he lets go of your tit with a bop, then kisses down your navel, paying attention to every part of your unclothed body.
“I’ve thought about this every day.” A kiss. “Every night.” A lick. “Every fucking hour you weren’t with me.” A suckle.
Your moans echo through the bedroom as Eren undoes the belt on your jeans, chuckling when your impatient self lifts your hips to help him remove the garments more easily. He does as you wish, throwing your jeans onto the floor, cursing when he sees your white panties are soaked with your essence.
“It’s been so long, huh, baby?” He draws soothing circles around your clothed clit, “You missed me here?”
“Yes, yes,” you’re restless, moving against his hand, trying to bring yourself more pleasure. “Please, Eren, please, I can’t wait any longer.”
“You won’t have to, baby, I promise.” And even if he didn’t, his erection was beginning to feel more painful than pleasurable. He needed to be inside you.
“I have to make you cum first, though.” He says firmly, “I need you to cum on my tongue.”
“No, just- please, can we do that later? I just, I need-“
“No.” And then you feel his tongue on your clit, and you have to put your hands against your mouth to stop yourself from moaning too loudly. He’s always been so, so good at eating you out, always taking his time with it, until you were creaming inside his mouth, trying to get away from him from how sensitive he’d made you after cumming so many times.
When he pushes his middle finger in, you start losing your mind.
“Oh fuck, you’re drenched. Do you want another one?”
He was such a good fucking talker, too.
“Do it, do it, please-“
And that, he did, moving them in and out of you, then spitting on his other hand so it could go up to your breast and rub around your nipple. The combination, needless to say, makes you cum within seconds.
Your whole body tenses as you let out a strained moan of his name, the strength of your orgasm leaving you completely breathless. It’s the kind of orgasm you feel on your fingertips, the type that makes every touch to your body electrifying.
“I’m sorry, baby, I just couldn’t help it.” You faintly hear Eren’s voice, accompanied by the sound of clothes rustling that you believe are his. When you finally have the strength to look down, you see his beautiful, naked body before you, his cock finally free from its confinement. It’s a sight for sore eyes, and yours sure were that. His mouth shines with your liquids, and you don’t know why you’re blushing, as if you didn’t have this man’s child. He smiles down at you before he starts rubbing his tip at your entrance, hissing from how wet you are.
“I can’t believe you’re here.” He says, so gently, as if he’s not about to rock your whole world. “It hurt missing you so much.”
You want to kiss him in that moment, tell him it’s going to be fine, that you still love him, but you’re deprived of that opportunity when he pushes in, stretching your walls because of how big he is. Even though you were prepped, it still stung a little, and you think Eren knows because his strokes are slow and gentle, easing his way inside you.
“You feel amazing.” He whispers as he brings himself down to give you a sloppy kiss, your moans synchronising as he moves inside you. Your hands roam around his strong back, unconsciously pulling him down so you can feel him deeper.
“You want it harder, baby?” He asks between kisses, and you nod frantically, like it’s the only thing you will ever want in your life. When he begins to fuck you in a hastier pace, filling you up to the brim, he has to put his palm in front of your mouth so you don’t wake your sleeping daughter up.
“Shh, I know, I feel it too,” he has a hard time controlling himself as well, your pussy sucking him in so deliciously, he thinks he can stay like this forever. “Look at your tits bouncing. Just- if you could see yourself right now. You’re unreal.”
His words go to one place and one place only, making it even more pleasurable when he hits your spot over and over again.
“Rub your clit.” He instructs, sounding more and more out of breath. “I want you to cum with me.”
You do as you’re told, your fingers working on your sensitive bud as Eren stands back on his knees, his abs flexing with every move of his hips. He was becoming sloppier, like he was losing control of his rhythm, his fingers plunged into the fat of your ass as he moved you onto his dick.
“Rub them faster.” He groans, “I’m so fucking close.”
“Oh, god!” Your body bounces on the mattress as you feel the nearing rush of your second orgasm approaching. “It’s coming, I’m- oh fuck, I’m gonna-“
“Me too, shit, shit, I love you,”, he fucks you through both your orgasms, lips swallowing your desperate moans, with a little tear rolling down your face from all the stimulation and his confession. No matter how many times you heard it, it still pulled an emotional reaction out of you.
When Eren’s hips come to a halt, he doesn’t pull out immediately, choosing to stay close to you and pepper your neck and shoulders with open-mouthed kisses. You’re spent, trying to catch your non-existing breath as your hand rubs gentle circles around your lover’s back.
“I still can’t believe this happened.”
You smile against his ruffled hair, “Well, you better believe it because you just fucked the shit out of me.”
Your laughters fill the bedroom air, making the atmosphere lighter after the emotional rollercoaster that was the past hour. Eren cradles your face in his hands, and you just can’t imagine being any less happy than you are in this moment, “I’m never, ever letting you go again. Understand?” His voice is firm yet filled with a warmth that resonates with every beat of your heart.
You gaze into Eren's eyes, seeing the determination and love that shine back at you. His declaration, so full of certainty, wraps around you like a comforting embrace.
"I wouldn’t want you to," you reply, reaching your hand up to caress his cheek. "But we have to promise each other something, Eren. We have to promise that we'll communicate, be honest, and work through things together. No running, no hiding—just us, facing everything as a team."
Eren nods, the seriousness of your words not lost on him. "I told you, I’ll do whatever it takes.", and you can tell by the look in his eyes that he means it.
You lean forward, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, a seal to the vows you've just exchanged. It's a kiss that speaks of new beginnings, of forgiveness, and of the love that has weathered the storm.
Eren nestles his head against your chest, finding solace in the steady thrum of your heartbeat, while your fingers tenderly weave through his hair, caressing him with every affectionate stroke.
“What will we tell your mini-you?”
“That I slept on the couch. She’ll be so happy she won’t even care about anything else.”
You let out a chuckle, “That, she will be.”
And as you fall asleep in each others arms, the world outside fades into insignificance. The comfort of Eren's weight against you, the gentle rise and fall of his breathing, and the softness of his hair beneath your fingertips are the only realities that matter. That will ever matter.
…..
A/N: I’m having a writer’s strike and this is what came out of it. It.. surely takes a turn lol. But what is love without a little angst😅 byeee
hi are you still writing lost and found? hope you’re doing okay! 😊🩷
Heyyy… I actually still am. I kind of thought that everyone had already forgotten about it so I haven’t written in about a month. I recently got engaged and have been planning my wedding and other things in my life that are kind of hectic rn so that’s why I haven’t given an update. But if there’s still interest in it I just might post something soon. Thanks for asking about it, hope you’re doing good as well!🫶🏻
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Chapter summary: The day your lives intertwined, it rained. Now, Eren tries to deal with the storm his choices left behind him.
Words: 8k
Chapter 2
…..
11 years ago
Math was so freaking annoying. What good did it ever do someone, anyway? Eren couldn’t understand it. Well, that was mostly because his mind was always preoccupied with something else, more precisely with how much he wanted to play his guitar when he got home, but still, it was so hard, and for what?
Sighing, he put the pen next to his notebook, rested his elbows on his desk, and leaned his head on his hands. Detention was a freaking bust today. He’d been there everyday for a week because he got into yet another fight with Jean - this time during gym practice. They had this love-hate relationship that seemed to bring a lot of headaches for their gym teacher because they’d always stir up trouble during class. Who could jump the highest? Instant competition. Who was going to be the captain of the volleyball team? Eren and Jean would fight it out. It was a tale as old as time, and everyone was fed up with it.
But it seemed that Jean was the luckier of the two, because the bastard caught a cold and couldn’t attend school for the rest of the week. It so wasn’t fair, because to top it all off, the teacher in detention was none other than old, grumpy Mr. Rogers, who always made sure to keep students in detention busy with their unfinished homework. So now, as he counted how many tiles the floor consisted of while old Mr. Rogers read the morning newspaper, Eren wasn’t expecting anything interesting to happen on this boring, rainy day. That was, until you walked into the room, with your heavy backpack on and some books under your arm. Eren lifted his head, watching as you apologized to Mr. Rogers for being late, then stumbled awkwardly before finding your seat on the other side of the room. He was surprised to see you there to say the least. You weren’t one to instigate trouble or run from class, you had good grades as far as he knew, and you mostly kept to yourself. So, you being in the same room as him right now was a mystery to Eren.
If he had to be honest, you as a whole were an enigma to him. He couldn’t recall if you’d ever spoken to each other in all the years you’d shared the same classes, but he did know one thing about you.. you sure were pretty. He couldn’t count the numerous times when he’d stolen furtive glances at you while you were engrossed in your books, quickly averting his gaze whenever you would lift your head up. But that was it. He’d thought you were too introverted and perhaps not too receptive to the idea of being friends with someone, well.. as outspoken as him. However, seeing you in detention today sparked a sense of curiosity within the green-eyed boy.
“Jaeger,” Mr. Rogers’ grumpy voice echoed through the classroom, “did I instruct you to stop doing your homework?”
Eren rolled his eyes, redirecting his attention back to the equations written inside his notebook. But Eren’s curiosity was something he wasn’t adept at suppressing. He couldn’t help himself from stealing occasional glances in your direction, noticing the tiny smiles that appeared on your face as you read your novel. It piqued his interest even more, and he found himself wondering what could possible be making you smile while in detention. It was so pretty, your smile.. so gentle, yet radiant, with a hint of mischief in your eyes. It held a captivating charm that drove Eren to want to see it shine fully.
The rain was pouring down outside, and the sound of it tapping against the window of the classroom was enough to put almost anyone to sleep. As Eren took notice of the raindrops and how they danced across the window glass, he noticed that the monotony of their sound seemed to have lulled Mr. Rogers into a deep slumber, the newspaper now resting against his chest. His quiet snores synchronised with the rain’s rhythm, and the sight instantly formed an idea inside Eren’s brain. But to make it more fun, he needed an accomplice.
Looking back at you, he mustered the courage to approach you and quietly stood up before moving closer to your desk. You didn’t notice him until he was just centimeters away, your attention still on the lines written inside your book.
“Hey,” he said, his voice slightly shaky, “what book are you reading?”
You looked up at him, with your doe eyes going wide, visibly not expecting anyone to approach you.
“Oh, uhm,” you nervously removed a strand of hair behind your ear, “just this novel I’ve been meaning to read.”
There was a hint of shyness in your reply that made you look even cuter in Eren’s eyes. He smiled at you, relieved that he wasn’t brushed off. “Mind if I join you? Detention can be pretty boring, and I could sure use a distraction.”
You met his gaze with some hesitation in your eyes, but something about his warm smile and friendly demeanor put you at ease. With a nod, you scooted over to make room for him to sit next to you. When he did, his focus moved between you and the sleeping teacher, making sure he was still in his previous position, then back on you.
“So,” he nodded towards the book on your desk, “what’s it about?”
You couldn't help but feel a tinge of pink coloring your cheeks as you turned to face him.
“Well, interestingly enough,”, you began, voice quiet as you tried not to wake up Mr. Rogers, “it’s called “Melodies of the Rain.” It’s a love story set in a small town during a rainy season. The rain plays a significant role in the story, symbolizing both the challenges and the beauty of the character’s love for each other.”
Not expecting a boy of Eren’s age to be interested in a romance novel, you genuinely thought he’d laugh or brush it off as girl’s stuff. So, when you saw his big eyes sparkle with curiosity, you were more than surprised.
“Sounds interesting. I think weather can really influence the tone of a story, or a song. Do you have a favorite character or moment so far?”
His genuine interest caught you off guard for a moment, but you quickly found your words. "Well, there's this scene where the two main characters meet for the first time in the rain. It's a special moment that brings them together and sparks their love story. It's really something."
Eren nodded, keeping his eyes on you. "That does sound like something special for a first meeting. It's cool how a little rain can make everything feel.. well, magical."
Noticing how his eyes shifted to the rain outside, you felt a flutter inside your chest. You loved when it rained. "Exactly," you agreed. "The rain becomes almost like a character itself, shaping their journey and adding depth to it."
Eren looked back at you as his smile widened, leaning a bit closer, “Like it knows their story and adds its own touch of magic to it.”
You couldn’t help but feel a rush of excitement. It was rare to find someone who appreciated the nuances of a story like you did. “Yes,” you said, unable to hide your enthusiasm, “that’s right.”
There was this shared moment between the two of you, with his eyes locked onto yours, that made your heart race a little bit faster. His eyes were.. well, they were trouble all right. But yet so, so beautiful. A colour you’d never seen before on another person. With an unique blend of deep green and hints of blue, they looked almost unreal, drawing you in with their intensity.
“Uhm,” he cleared his throat, moving a bit away from your face. You could swear you saw a hint of redness on his cheeks, “You know, I’d like to borrow it sometime. When you finish it, of course.”
A smile tugged at the corners of your lips, “Sure, I’d be happy to lend it to you. To be honest, I didn’t expect you to be interested in it.”
He raised an eyebrow, “Really? Why?”
“Well..”, you spent a moment to choose your words, “I don’t suppose a lot of boys would be interested in a story like this.”
Eren thought about what you said for a second, then nodded, “Yeah, I guess that’s true. I really do like the idea, though. But anyway..” he swivelled his chair in your direction so he could face you fully, “speaking of expectations.. I didn’t expect to see you here. Like, ever.”
His remark caught you off guard. “Really?”
The boy shrugged his shoulders, “You don’t strike me as the troublemaking type.”
He was right about that. Breaking the rules was never really your thing. “I guess that’s true.”
“Well, then.. why’re you here?”
Your cheeks flushed, and you hesitated for a moment before responding, “It’s.. embarrassing.”
Eren chortled, “Believe me, I’ve been in more embarrassing situations than none embarrassing ones. If there’s a person you can tell, it’s definitely me.”
His smile was reassuring, and you felt a sense of comfort in his presence, so that was enough to muster the courage and confide in him.
“I’ve spent the last couple of nights reading this book and today.. I accidentally fell asleep in his class.” You gestured towards the slumbering teacher on the other side of the room, and Eren followed your gaze.
He shook his head, letting out a low laugh, “He sent you here for just falling asleep?”
“Well.. not exactly. After I apologized profusely, he still decided to put me in front of the entire class and told me to teach the lesson. I said I couldn’t, everyone laughed, and after that he sent me here.”
Eren stared at you for a few seconds, his eyes wide, too dumbfounded by what you just told him. A flicker of anger crossed his features, and you could see his jaw tense slightly. “Yup, that cemented it. Rogers is the biggest asshole to ever exist.”
Feeling a twinge of guilt, you interjected, “Well, it was kinda my fault-“
Eren’s expression hardened, his voice firm as he cut you off, “You apologized. He could’ve at least warned you instead of trying to embarrass you like that. Especially when it was his class that made you fall asleep in the first place.”
You chuckled at his last sentence. It was truly impressing how passionate and determined he was in his opinion.
“Some teachers like to exert their authority I guess.”
But Eren wasn’t gonna let that slide.
You saw his forest greens flicker towards Mr. Rogers’ desk. A mischievous glint danced in his eyes as he noticed a key lying on top of it.
“Hearing what you just told me really takes away any guilt about what I'm about to do."
“Huh?” You brought your eyebrows together in confusion.
Eren stared at Mr. Rogers’ desk for a few more moments, then turned to you excitedly.
“Okay, listen,” he whispered, “I know it might sound crazy, but let’s ditch this?”
Your confusion intensified. “What? Detention?”
Eren didn’t say anything, but with the devilish smile he had on his face, there was no need to.
“But he’ll probably get us suspended.”
The boy leaned close to you, a bit too close, and the proximity drove you to take a sharp breath in.
“I think it’ll be worth it.”
You didn’t know if you were getting hypnotised by his eyes or his voice, but from Eren’s mouth, the idea didn’t sound that bad.
“..Okay” your voice sounded like you were still contemplating it, “What do you have in mind?”
Eren leaned all the way to your ear, gently removing a strand of your hair so you could hear him better, a move that spread goosebumps over your skin. After whispering a few sentences of his master plan, he leaned back on his chair, looking at you expectantly. You couldn’t believe you were doing this.
“Okay.”
Eren flashed you his pearly whites, and you caught yourself blushing again. He truly had a beautiful smile.
Quietly gathering your belongings, you watched as the green eyed boy stood up from his seat, and with a swift and calculated move approached Mr. Rogers’ desk, still careful not to make any noise. He glanced at the sleeping teacher, taking one final step towards his objective, when a loud creak filled the room. You gasped, maybe a little too loud, and Eren turned around with his finger in front of his mouth, silently shushing you. Bracing himself, he slowly turned to see if Mr. Rogers’ had moved, but all he was greeted with were his loud snores. Smiling to himself, he quickly grabbed the key from the desk, and you took it as a sign to start moving.
Tippy toeing to the classroom door, you gave Eren a quick look as he silently put his books inside his bag, gesturing for you to open the door. Gulping, your eyes went to the sleeping Mr. Rogers, his face grumpy even when in deep slumber. This was it. Now or never.
As you opened the classroom door, Eren quickly moved behind you, holding the key in his hand. With a mischievous grin, he carefully locked the door from the outside, ensuring that Mr. Rogers would stay right where he was. Your heart was pumping so fast, you were sure Eren was bound to hear it. You’d never done anything like this before, but watching his reassuring eyes as he grabbed you by the hand and led you through the school corridors, you knew everything was going to be okay.
The rain poured down outside, but you barely noticed as you and Eren made your way to the school's back exit. As you stood in front of the door, hand in hand, Eren shared one last look with you, “You ready?”
In that moment, you felt no hesitation. Nodding, you squeezed his hand, and the green eyed boy needed no further confirmation.
Eren’s grin never left his face as he pushed the door open, and you both burst through it, stepping out into the torrential downpour. The rain instantly drenched you, soaking your clothes and hair within seconds. Laughing uncontrollably, you both sprinted across the school grounds, the sound of your footsteps blending with the pitter-patter of raindrops. The sound of the rain hitting the ground seemed to drown out the thoughts of consequences and potential trouble that were creeping into your mind before. Eren's infectious excitement was contagious, and you couldn't help but get caught up in the thrill of the moment. It was exhilarating.
You ran through the empty schoolyard, your laughter filling the air. As you reached the edge of the school grounds, you hid under the school bleachers, finally catching your breath. The rain continued to pour, but it didn't dampen your spirits. You and Eren stood there, drenched and breathless, looking at each other with a mix of exhilaration and contentment.
"We did it," Eren exclaimed, his voice filled with a sense of triumph.
"Yeah," you replied, a wide grin spreading across your face. "We really did."
Gazing into Eren's greens, in that moment, you felt something. It wasn't just the thrill of the moment or the shared adventure that brought you together; it was something special. It felt as if you had known each other for years, even though your friendship had only begun 10 minutes ago.
The rain continued to fall, but it became nothing more than background noise. The world around you faded away, leaving only the two of you in a bubble of shared energy. Eren's hand in yours provided a sense of comfort and grounding amidst the storm.
"I still can't believe we actually did it," you said, your voice filled with awe.
Eren's laughter intertwined with the melodic patter of raindrops hitting the ground. "Yeah, it was crazy,” he shook his head, staring up at the sky. After a few seconds, his eyes went to you, a look you couldn’t quite decipher on his face, “I wouldn't have wanted to do it with anybody else though."
There was a vulnerability in Eren's gaze, a glimpse of the person he truly was beneath the tough exterior you’d previously thought he had. The boy you saw before, the loudmouth who always got into trouble and couldn’t stay away from a fight, was now in a different light in your eyes. And you knew that he saw the same in you.
“It was really fun.” A genuine smile appeared on your lips, “And something you’d never catch me doing if it wasn’t for you. Thanks, Eren.”
The boy raised his eyebrows, hearing what his name sounded like for the first time in that pretty voice of yours, “Well, I’m glad to be the one to bring out your wild side.”
“I guess you’re pretty good at that, huh?” You chuckled, lightly nudging him on the shoulder.
Eren grinned, his voice filled with playful pride, “I’d like to think I have a talent for it.”
“You sure do.”
“That’s good. I wouldn’t want you to fall asleep from boredom whenever we hang out.”
Your heart fluttered as the green eyed boy casually mentioned it, and you knew he didn’t mean at school. It caught you by surprise to say the least, as you didn’t expect it. After all, today was probably the first time you’d ever had an actual conversation with each other, and you’d assumed that this “adventure” together was going to be a one time thing, a spontaneous moment of connection.
You blinked, still processing his words, and it must’ve shown, because Eren’s face had become as red as a tomato, hand scratching at his neck nervously.
You tried to hide your own red cheeks in your damp sweater, meekly asking, “Hang out again, huh?”
“I-I mean,” his voice wavered, and he wanted to punch himself in the face for it, “only if you want to.” After a second, he felt the need to add, “I know I do.”
A genuine smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you watched Eren stumble over his words. It was endearing to see him flustered, and it made you not so embarrassed for acting the same way.
With a soft smile, you turned to him, voice carrying a soothing and tender note, “I’d like that, too.”
Eren’s eyes grew big, with a spark of excitement flickering in his gaze. “Yeah?”
You nodded, smile still adorning your face, “Yeah.”
A brief silence enveloped the air, the weight of the moment hanging between you and Eren. It was a comfortable silence, filled with anticipation and the unspoken promise of more adventures to come.
The rain had quieted down, only teardrops falling from the clearing sky. Breaking the silence, Eren's curiosity got the better of him as he leaned in slightly, his eyes gleaming with interest. "So, tell me," he began, his voice laced with genuine intrigue, "what do you like to do? Except reading, of course. You always have a book in hand.”
Using the term “always” left a peculiar feeling inside your chest. He’d noticed. “I love to read. It’s kind of like.. my escape goat. When I get burnout from school or work, it’s what resets my brain.”
Eren’s eyes rose up, “You work?”
You nodded, “I help at the flower farm just outside of town.”
The corners of his mouth lifted, “You like flowers, huh?”
“Shocker, right? Romance novels, flowers.. I guess they go hand in hand,” you chuckled lightly, “but yes, I love flowers. I don’t think there’s a girl in the world who doesn’t.”
“It’s a sure way to a woman’s heart I guess.” Eren commented, “Whenever my dad or I get into trouble with my mom, it’s the safest path to her forgiveness.”
“Does she have a favorite flower?” You curiously asked, tilting your head in a way that had butterflies coursing through Eren’s stomach.
“Uhm, yeah.. they’re called lillies, I think.”
Your eyes shot up with excitement, “Really? I love lillies, too. I think they’re one of the most beautiful flowers.”
“Yeah. My dad always makes sure she has them on our kitchen table.”
“Wow,” you couldn’t help but have a smile on your face, “they must really love each other.”
“I think they really do, yeah.”
Eren noticed the hint of sadness in your expression as you looked up at the clearing sky.
"You know, it's funny," you began, "my parents used to love each other like that too. They were always doing sweet things for each other, just like your dad with the lilies. But things changed over time."
Trying to swallow the ball of emotion that was forming in your throat, you continued.
"They divorced a few years ago," your voice carried a delicate blend of sadness and acceptance. "It was hard at first, seeing them drift apart and witnessing the love they once had fade away. Dad moved out of town, left my mom and I to gather the pieces. But I guess that's just how life goes sometimes."
Eren looked at you, unsure of what to say, or if it was okay to say anything at all. He didn’t have your experience, but tried to imagine how hard it all must’ve been.
“I’m sorry,” his tone was soft, “it must take a lot of strength to go through something like that.”
"Well.. it kind of stays with you. But you know," you said, a glimmer of hope returning to your eyes, "despite the pain and heartbreak, I still believe in love. I believe that there's someone out there for everyone, who will cherish and appreciate them just as they are."
Eren smiled warmly, “That’s a nice way to think about it.”
The boy looked down at the muddy ground, his mind set on thoughts he never had until now. He couldn’t imagine his parents separating, not being with each other like he had seen them all their life. It was unimaginable to him, and that’s when he realized how lucky he actually was. And you.. you were so strong. You had that silent strength when you talked about your experiences, still positive after everything you’d gone through. And only at 15. It was truly impressive.
“I bet you’ll find that someone one day,” he looked at you with certainty, “I have a good feeling about it.”
Your heart fluttered, taken aback by his words. The sincerity in his eyes sent a rush of warmth to your cheeks, causing them to tint with a gentle blush. It was an unexpected moment, but it sparked something inside you.
"Thank you," you replied, your voice tinted with a hint of shyness. "I hope you do too, Eren."
“Yeah, we’ll see,” he laughed ironically, “it has to be someone patient, that’s for sure.”
“Well, I have a feeling you’ll be worth it.”
Eren’s laughter faded, replaced by a bashful smile. “You think?”
“Mhm. You’re fun and you’re kind. It compensates the other things.”
He laughed again, this time way louder, “Oh, the other things?”
“You know, the troublemaking.” You nudged his shoulder with your own, also letting out a laugh, “But I admire the way you always speak your mind.”
Eren shrugged his shoulders, “I can’t really help it I guess. It’s stronger than me. I just have so many thoughts in my head sometimes.. that’s why I like to write them down. That’s how I started writing songs, actually.”
Your eyes grew wide, “Wait, you what? Really?”
"Yeah," he replied with a smile. "I've been writing for a while now. It's my way of expressing myself and getting all those thoughts out of my head. It’s kind of like free therapy."
"That's amazing," you said, genuinely impressed. "Do you play any instruments?”
“I have a guitar my parents gave me for my birthday last year. I try to play everyday but I’m still not as good as I’d like to be. I will be one day, though.”
You watched the green eyed boy talk about his passion with the fire glowing in his eyes. You didn’t know why, but you believed him. Someone who talked about everything with that much determination was bound to do something with his life.
“That’s so cool. You have to play me something one day.”
Eren was taken aback by the enthusiasm in your voice, causing his heart to race with unexpected intensity. Until now, he had kept his passion a secret, sharing it only with his parents who believed it to be a mere hobby. Opening up about his dreams was not something that came naturally to him, especially considering how unlikely they seemed for a small-town boy like himself. Determined to make it a reality, he had chosen to silently work towards his goal, in stark contrast to his usually boisterous personality. However, as he looked at you, seeing your genuine eyes, he thought that maybe sharing wasn’t such a bad thing.
“You got it.”
“Promise?”, you tilted your head to the side, a playful smile dancing on your face. Warmth coursed through Eren’s chest at the sight of it.
“Promise.”
Tiny raindrops dribbled from the edges of the bleachers and onto the school grounds, with a sliver of sunlight piercing through the somber sky, casting a warm glow upon the tranquil scene. The chirping of birds was like a soothing canvas as everything around you became quiet. The comfortable silence embraced you, as if you had experienced this peaceful moment countless times before.
Well, that was until you heard a window slam open somewhere in the distance.
“Jaeger!” Mr. Rogers’ voice was so angry, it sounded like it could rock the foundation of the school.
“Shit!” Eren jumped, instantly grabbing you by the hand. “We gotta go.”
“Yeah.” You tried to hide your laugh as you saw Mr. Rogers’ ears basically puff smoke in the distance. It was a comical sight to say the least, but you knew better than to linger. Hand in hand, you sprinted towards the school ground exist.
“You little brats! I’ll get you for this!” Mr. Roger’s enraged voice echoed behind you, but your laughter drowned it out as you ran.
Eren’s grip on your hand tightened, a reassurance that you were in this together. You could sense the adrenaline coursing through his veins, matching your own, as you both ran towards the exit. And in that moment, you just knew that this wasn’t going to be the last time you would hold his hand.
…..
Warm.
It felt so freaking warm.
The heat of the midday sun beat down mercilessly on Eren's face, intensifying the searing pain that radiated through his entire being. His senses slowly returned to him, his eyelids struggling to open against the blinding brightness coming from the window. His mouth felt parched, his tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth as he attempted to wet his lips.
As his vision gradually cleared, Eren took in his surroundings. He found himself lying on his bed in his old house. The room was bathed in a soft golden glow, suggesting that morning was long gone.
His head throbbed with a dull ache, and as he gingerly touched his face, he winced at the sharp pain emanating from his left eye. The memories of the previous night flooded back to him - a night he preferred to forget. Jean’s words still reverberated in his head like a broken record, each repetition intensifying the pain in his head. The air in the room quickly turned suffocating, as if it had turned against him, mirroring the turmoil within.
Summoning his strength, Eren pushed himself off the bed and made his way to the window. As he leaned against the frame, a gentle breeze brushed against his face, offering a brief respite from the stifling heat. He closed his eyes, allowing the cool air to wash over him, soothing the pain his headache provided.
He didn’t remember much of how he got here last night. All he knew was that he’d heard his father’s voice, and a pang of guilt pierced him. Embarrassing him yet again. Good job, you dick.
He exhaled, resting his head against the window frame, trying to get himself together. It’d only been a couple of days since he’d been back, and he’d managed to create more chaos than progress.
But he should’ve thought about that long ago.
Turning around, his gaze settled on his unchanged room. It felt as though time had stood still in his absence. His posters still adorned the walls, his old desk covered in lyrics he had scribbled over the years, and his collection of CDs untouched. It was weird. The house had changed, but his room and the kitchen where his mom used to cook were still the same. As if they never left.
Once again, Eren Jaeger felt like a complete piece of shit.
With heavy steps, he made his way to the bathroom. As he glanced into the mirror, his disheveled appearance reflected back at him, accentuated by the bruise forming around his eye. A sigh slipped from his lips, a blend of exasperation and fatigue.
He turned the shower knob, adjusting the water temperature to his liking. As the steam filled the room, he stepped under the soothing spray, letting it envelop him in a comforting embrace. The gentle pressure of the water against his skin eased the tension that had settled in his muscles.
Eren was.. He was tired. All that had happened was too much for 3 days, and he certainly didn't help himself by drinking so much yesterday. It had all taken a toll on him, but now, as his stood in his old bathroom, in his old house, looking down at the worn out tiles… he finally realized the severity of it all.
Why did he come back? What was he trying to do? Screw your life more than he already had?
Why didn’t he come back sooner? He’d spent the last couple of years completely miserable, what was he waiting for? Could it have made any difference?
Maybe.. maybe not.
It was futile to think about nonetheless.
It wasn’t futile to think about you, though. About Lily. But Eren realized that whenever he would think about the two of you, the pain inside his chest was just too much to bare. He felt so weak, so defeated, even though he had vowed to himself not to let the guilt stop him.. it was too much to keep at bay.
As his thoughts became somber again, he knew he needed to get out of the house. He let his damp hair roam freely around his shoulders as he opened his old wardrobe, grabbing the first shirt and jeans he could find. They still fit, although they didn’t feel as stretchy as they once did. Grabbing his phone, he realised his keys were not in his room, remembering he wasn’t the one driving yesterday.
His steps through the house as Eren called out to his father, hastily throwing his leather jacket on.
“Dad? Are you home?” His words hung in the air, unanswered. Eren's eyes darted around the hallway, searching for his keys, until something in the kitchen caught his attention. There, on the kitchen table, his keys laid waiting, but it was something else that caught his eye. Something that tugged at his heartstrings, transporting him back to his childhood in an instant.
Lillies.
He knew exactly where he needed to go.
…..
The end of summer. It was your favorite time, and yet, it still felt so melancholy.
The flowers, once vibrant and colorful, began to wither, their petals gently falling to the ground like tears of farewell. Each delicate bloom, once a symbol of life's beauty, now stood as a reminder of the fleeting nature of time. It saddened you to witness their inevitable decline, knowing that their vibrant hues would soon be replaced by the muted tones of autumn.
Yet, amidst the melancholy, there was a glimmer of hope. For as summer bid its farewell, autumn began to awaken. It whispered promises of renewal, of a second chance for life to flourish. The crisp air carried the scent of change, as the trees prepared to shed their leaves, painting the world in a tapestry of gold, orange, and red.
You were split between emotions of sadness and joy. Lily was going to enter first grade, and she just couldn’t wait to go to school. The same school that shaped your younger years, that made you the person you are today. And still, you couldn’t help but feel a tinge of sadness, knowing that your little girl was growing up so fast. The withering flowers in your garden, the same one you watched her play in all summer, mirrored the passing of time, and made you hold the precious moments you had shared together even more dearly than before.
And now, as she helped you harvest the fallen apples from your backyard tree, you realized just how grown she really was. It felt like it was just yesterday when she was a tiny baby in your arms, with the chubbiest, pinkiest cheeks, and her big eyes that looked at you and the world around her with so much curiosity. Now, she helped you bake apple pies and wanted to help clean the dishes and help you at the flower shop.
You wondered if she had noticed your nervousness in the past couple of days. You hoped not. She was the most important thing in the world to you, and you tried your best to protect her from your feelings. Feelings you’d thought you’d buried so deep, there was no way they could resurface. And yet, one look at his eyes was enough to make your world crumble.
You couldn’t fathom it. He’d been a ghost in your life for so long, it sometimes felt like he never truly existed. So, when you saw him in the store a few days back, it was the first time in your life that you felt close to fainting. He was.. different, but still the same. His hair was longer, the circles under his eyes darker, but his presence carried the weight of familiarity. And seeing him and Lily in the same space.. it was scary how much she looked like him. You always knew she resembled him, but never thought it was this uncanny. It was so hard to explain, even to yourself, but the emotions that flowed within you scared you. It was as if time had played a cruel trick on you, bringing him back into your life when you least expected it. You had to be strong, you’d promised yourself that the past was the past, and no matter what, you couldn’t let it stir up your life.
Only if it was that easy.
The day after you first saw him was even worse. Finally saying those words to him and watching his reaction was way harder than you could’ve imagined. You’d be lying to yourself if you said you never imagined telling him about Lily. If you didn’t imagine what life could’ve been if he hadn’t left you all those years ago. But those were thoughts long gone. You’d moved on with your life, building a loving and happy environment for your daughter. Nothing was more important than that. Even if that meant keeping him as far away as possible. Even if it meant never getting closure.
You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself as you continued to gather the fallen apples with Lily. You didn't want her to see the turmoil that churned within you, the memories and emotions that threatened to overwhelm you. She deserved a carefree childhood, free from the weight of adults and their mistakes.
As you carefully placed the apples into a basket, you stole a glance at her. Her innocence and joy were evident in those turquoise eyes of hers, and it reminded you of the importance of shielding her from the heartache that life could bring. As you finished gathering the apples, you put on a brave face and smiled at her, grateful for the distraction she provided.
"Let's go inside and start baking those pies, shall we?" you suggested, hoping to shift your focus to the present moment. Lily's eyes lit up with excitement, and you instantly felt a spark of joy. Together, you walked back to the warmth of the kitchen, leaving the ghosts of the past behind.
At least for now.
…..
The road to the old cemetary was old and weathered, its gravel path lined with aged trees that stood as silent sentinels. Eren didn’t remember it like that. Maybe it was because of all the years that had passed, or maybe because he had never truly paid attention to the surroundings before. But still, it felt peaceful.. beautiful, even.
The memories seemed to slowly return to him. There was this feeling of unease and unbearable sadness that always followed him before. He never liked going to the cemetery because of that. The thought of the most important person in his life, being buried under the ground, where hundreds of other people were also laid to rest, was too much for a boy of 17. He always wondered how people could find solace in a place like this. One that seemed to carry only heartache to him.
Seeing the worn out sign in the distance, he parked his car down the road. Stepping outside, he took a look beyond the fence, and into the rows of gravestones. One of those belonged to his mother. He wondered if he still remembered which one.
Entering, he looked around to take in his surroundings, and his legs carried him instinctively, as if they knew the way. It was like his steps were guided by an unseen force. He walked further in, his eyes scanning the faded markings of the numerous gravestones he passed by, in search of the one that held his mother’s name. The sun cast long shadows, adding to the hushed atmosphere of the place.
He suddenly stopped when someone in the distance captured his attention. It was a man, standing in front of a white gravestone, with white flowers placed in front of it. Eren moved one more step before he knew who the man was.
His father’s head was bowed down, hands clasping his hat in front of him. It seemed like he was talking, but Eren was too far to hear. Slowly, he closed the distance between them, his steps tentative as if to not interrupt him. Grisha Jaeger continued to speak softly, his words carried away by the gentle breeze. All that Eren was able to hear was, “he’s back, Carla. He’s really back.”
“Dad." Eren finally muttered. His father’s head snapped up, surprise and a flicker of vulnerability reflecting in his eyes.
“Son,”, Grisha gave him a small smile. Eren felt like he didn’t deserve it. “You mother and I were just talking about you.”
Eren’s head turned in the direction of the beautiful tombstone in front of them. It was white marble, with intricate carvings of flowers and vines. A bouquet of white lilies adorned the bottom. The sunlight danced upon its surface, casting a gentle glow that seemed to breathe life into the stone.
Carla Jaeger, it read. A beacon of love and strength.
Eren knelt down, tracing the delicate engravings with his fingertips. Below her name, a heartfelt tribute unfolded.
“In loving memory of a soul who touched lives with kindness, a heart that embraced all, and a spirit that shone with unwavering love.”
Yup. That was his momma.
He didn’t notice the moment his eyes filled with tears. The memories of his mom flooded his brain like a rushing river, overwhelming and relentless. Each memory was a precious gem, sparkling with the love and warmth she had bestowed upon him. Upon everyone who knew her.
“I miss her,” he finally broke down, his hand covering his tearful eyes, “I miss her so much.”
His father remained silent. In that moment, perhaps there was no need for words. They both knew that they shared the same grief.
“I’m sorry, dad,” Eren continued, his voice so shaky, he was barely able to control it, “I’m so messed up. I don’t know what to do.”
Grisha tried to control his own emotions, seeing his son breaking down in front of him. He reached out, his hand gently resting on Eren’s trembling shoulder, offering a silent comfort that words could not adequately express.
“I’m sorry, mom..”, Eren’s whispers filled the air, “I’m sorry I never visited.”
Grisha tightened the grip on his son’s shoulder. His heart ached seeing him like this.
“Eren,” he softly called his name, “it’s okay. She knows.”
At that, Eren fully broke down into his father’s arms. Grisha held him firmly as his son sobbed, gently caressing his hair.
“There’s no need to apologize. Your mother knew your heart.” Eren could feel his father holding back tears of his own. “She understood you better than anyone else. Better than me. She would want you to forgive yourself.”
“I don’t know if I can do that.”
“You have to try. For your mom, for Y/n. For Lily.”
Eren’s sobs slowly subsided, his breathing steadying as he clung to his father’s embrace.
“If you want to be in their life, you have to try and fix it. Otherwise, it was all for nothing.”
It was true. Eren knew it. If he couldn’t get himself together, he should just leave. Like a coward, he should just retreat to his own little world of regret and guilt and just live there forever.
But that wasn’t Eren, not truly. That wasn’t the man Carla raised.
He stayed there for a while, sitting in front of his mother’s grave, his father sitting beside him. His tears slowly dried up, and after a while, he felt peace come over him. For the first time in a long time, he felt calm. The wind caressed his face, and he closed his eyes, imagining it was his mother’s hands instead. Imagined this was her spirit, whispering reassurance to him.
In the stillness of the moment, Eren realized that he had a choice. He could allow himself to be consumed by his mistakes or he could gather the fragments of his shattered life and piece them back together. He knew it was going to be the hardest thing he’d ever have to do. And there, in that precise moment, he decided he would do it. He owed it to his mother, father, his daughter, to you. To himself.
He closed his eyes, took a deep breath. Looked up at the sky. He finally understood why people found solace in cemeteries. This wasn’t just a place of sorrows and loss. It was also that of healing.. and reflection.
…..
It was 8:30 am and you were late. Scratch that, you were more than late.
You and Lily were supposed to leave at 8:00am sharp for a fun-filled morning of grabbing coffee and hot chocolate before heading out to sign her up for school activities. The first day of school was just around the corner, and time was slipping away faster than you anticipated.
You were so tired yesterday from work and running errands, that after tucking Lily in, you fell asleep on your coach, still fully dressed. It was moments like these when you wished you lived with someone who could help you a little, but the phrase “it is what it is” had already been embedded into your brain long ago.
After waking your bundle of joy up, you managed to prepare a cute little outfit for her in record time, then dashed straight to the shower. Being a single mom was something you were quite good at, but sometimes, it did take a bit of a toll on you. Nevertheless, you were comfortable with the life you’d acquired for the both of you. It was your own little world, and you’d never trade it for anything.
After emerging from the bathroom, you swiftly moved through the house, trying to get to your bedroom, when you saw Lily standing in front of the door, which was slightly open. She was talking to someone. You quickly approached her.
“Lily, I’ve told you not to open the door-“
Your heart skipped a beat as you saw Eren standing in front of your doorstep. Your eyes locked, and a flow of emotions ran through you. Why was he here now? What could he possibly want? You thought he was here for only a few days, but the unexpectedness of his presence left you feeling cautious.
“Hey.” He spoke first.
You continued to look at him until you were reminded of Lily’s presence. “Sweetheart, why don’t you go pour some cereal, hm? Mommy will be just a minute.”
“Okay, momma! See you, Eren!” She waved at him, and you watched him reciprocate.
“Bye, Lily.” He said softly, a faint smile gracing her lips as he watched her walk away.
Once again, it was just the two of you. Looking back at each other, with so many unsaid things hanging in the air.
“Why are you here?” You asked, voice guarded, your arms closed tightly around yourself.
He cleared his throat, visibly nervous, “I’m sorry for showing up like this, but I really need to talk to you.” Before you could protest, he raised his hand in the air in a pleading gesture. “Please, Y/n. Just an hour, whenever you can.”
You took a deep breath. This couldn’t be happening. It shouldn’t be happening.
And still.. looking at him, you saw genuineness. Maybe even regret. A war commenced inside you, one between the hurt he had caused you and the helplessness in his eyes. He didn’t deserve talking, even looking at you, but deep inside, you knew you’d made your mind. There was a part of you that felt he deserved to at least be listened to.
“You can’t just keep showing up like this. You know that.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I won’t bother you, I promise. Just please consider it.”
Biting the inner part of your lip, you readjusted your bath robe, trying to cover yourself up more. As if trying to cover yourself from him, and how vulnerable his presence made you feel.
“Fine.” You spoke with finality, watching his emeralds widen with surprise, “Tomorrow, 2p.m., Daisy cafe. It’s my lunch break, so I won’t have an hour.”
“Yeah, sure, of course.” He looked like he was trying to contain his elation, but his smile gave it all away. “Thank you.”
You nodded awkwardly. His smile was.. still as distracting as it was 7 years ago. “Okay, then. We have to get going, so..”
“Oh, yeah, sorry. I’ll- I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
“Bye.”
Before he could respond, you’d closed the door, resting your back against it. You took the palm of your hand and pressed it against your chest, feeling your racing heartbeat. A thousand voices seemed to echo in your mind, each one representing a different emotion and conflicting thought. Fear and doubt battled for dominance, leaving you extremely overwhelmed.
But there was something else that you couldn’t hide from yourself. A flicker of.. no, you couldn’t call it faith. Even though there was a tiny voice that whispered that maybe, just maybe there was a small piece of the person you once knew left inside him. Even though his face showed his guilt. You couldn’t call it faith.
Not yet.
…..
A/N: …. I know I’m so late lmao I’m sorryyy. Half of this got deleted twice because of my stupid computer so I’m blaming the delay on that. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter. I really put my heart into it. Next one will be up sooner, this time for real. Enjoyyy🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
Ps: If you want to be added to the tag list, tell me in the comments below. Comments and rebloggs will be deeply appreciated.❤️