Little Miss In Love With Fictional Men

They met at a photoshoot, both sponsored by Calvin Klein sportswear that year. Kaiser wasn't old money like her, but he had the same poise. He knew how to charm the cameras and everyone in the studio seemed to run in the tune of his voice.

By then, y/n couldn't hide how tired she was, she was smaller, her charm wasn't as present. She saw who she wanted to be in him, who she could be, the person Alina saw in her.

"You did a good job today." - Michael said in English, thick German accent showing. His smile was entrancing and y/n couldn't help but be drawn.

"Thank you. You did, too!" - She gave him a smile, wanting to be like her old self. - "You're Michael Kaiser, right?"

"Ah, so you know who I am?" - He smirks.

Y/n remembers Sae, she always remembers him. At one point in these years, she came to a conclusion she would always carry him with her. Her way of remembering him was following soccer. She would deny anyone if they asked her, wanting to keep this her secret, to hold Sae in her heart, a piece the media couldn't tear from her. But she knew the plays now, the passes and the things that were unknown to her years ago.

"I have a friend who used to be a fan of soccer." - Is all she dares to say, a small smile hiding her conflicted feelings.

Michael finds this amusing, though. His agent had given her the summary of who she was in the car: a dancer, a skater. Not a soccer enthusiast.

"Collor me surprised, Ortega." - He smirks.

And that had been the beginning. It was way too easy for y/n to fall for him, he was charming, alluring, and the first boy she ever allowed herself to date officially. The press had a field day.

"The Emperor and The Goddess" - It was the cover of Page 6 when Kaiser posted her on Instagram.

"Sports royalty" - TMZ seemed to publish a new photo of them everyday.

But Michael's love, much like Alina's, came with control. Maybe that was the reason it was so easy for y/n to fall for him in such a fragile state.

The Instagram post? He had posted after seeing a message from one of her teammates. Nothing suggestive, he simply asked if y/n wanted to train with him the next day. Before that, y/n had spent months being treated as nothing more than a situationship by Kaiser, a fact that led her to tears on many nights.

On one occasion, they went to Calvin Klein gala, the honor guests of the evening. Y/n made the mistake of talking too much to one of the other models. Kaiser led her to the corridor and pushed her hair.

"You are nothing without me, you understand me? Remember that and stay by my side." - He said, smoothing her dress afterwards.

And she believed him. For a year she believed him. Alina didn't know what was happening, but she didn't like Michael, they were too much alike and she didn't like it, seeing as a distraction.

It all came to a halt on the day of the 2023 world championship. Y/n had managed to maintain her rankings, staying either in 2nd or 1st, at the cost of her deteriorating body and mental health.

Michael had not accompanied her, saying it wasn't worth it. She fought with him the day before.

"You're never there for me! I've been to countless of your games and you're never been to one of my championships!" - She cried.

"It's not worth it. You'll win or you'll lose. It's barely a dance anyway..." - He laughed.

"You're cruel, Michael!" - She had said, grabbing her Birkin bag and leaving his apartment.

The same night he went out with his friends. Y/n didn't see it then, she saw it the next morning, just before competing. The headlines.

"Michael Kaiser cheats on y/n Ortega - Exclusive!" - Straight on TMZ, him with a girl on his lap.

That day, y/n Ortega cried before competing, and when she entered the rink all she heard was Michael Kaiser.

"It's barely a dance anyway!"

"You're nothing without me!"

And the quad goddess fell for the first time in years, landing barely a triple toe loop. She skated out of the rink crying, and as she thought her coach was going to hug her, she landed a blow.

"Pathetic!" - Alina said, loud and clear.

Y/n Ortega fell on the ground, an 18 year old child left by the two people she trusted the most, her coach and her boyfriend.

She felt herself being risen by two hands, it was her father, she didn't know how he was allowed there. She supposed it was the perks of being him.

"Not here, you're going to sit by Alina's side on the kiss and cry. And then we're going to talk. You're not alone, I'm proud of you!" - He cleans her tears and kisses her forehead.

Y/n nodded. She didn't know how, but she arrived at the kiss and cry. Alina didn't look at her, didn't touch her when her rank showed up at the screen. Y/n placed 13th. But her father did, he did a thumbs up, and that gave her strength.

When she arrived at the lockers, her father and brother were already there.

"Get out." - He said to Alina, voice of a CEO.

"I beg your pardon?" - Alina said.

"I pretended not to see the mental abuse you did to my daughter. But what you did today? Unacceptable. You're fired!" - He shot and y/n looked up.

"You were her coach, since she was 8. And you called her pathetic the first time she looses? You're fired. Get out!" - Antonio repeats himself.

"Is that what you want, y/n?" - Alina asks, looking at y/n. Y/n sees Kaiser, for the first time. She looks at her father, then at her hand.

There isn't a moment in y/n's life she realized the cycle she was in. There was only the look of her father, his hands on her shoulders, his voice telling Alina to get out. She laughed.

She laughed because she realized her coach, the woman she admired the most, beat her, starved her, deprived her of friends and in the end... she was dating a copy of her. And her father, who was so flawed he didn't even see that, showed up. Late... but he did.

"I think I need a break... of skating, of everything. I want to go to college and try the normal... I guess?"

"Tch... Pathetic" - Alina said. - "I'll get in touch to sort my contract."

"Are you alright?" - Her father asked.

"No... but I will be." - y/n gave a tight smile.

She told her father everything, about the abuse, the fisical and the psychological one. A week lather they were suing Sokolov for damages.

Y/n's retirement was the talk of the season, but she didn't mind. She was set to begin in the University of Salamanca, hoping to be a psychologist. Maybe one day she'd help others or maybe she'd go back to skating. All she knew is that for the moment she needed to rediscover who she was, without the influence of Alina.

Before she caught the train, though, she had one last stop at Michael's penthouse.

"You said I wasn't anyone without you..." - She told him, looking up the view as he walked in. She was already waiting for him.

"From what I heard you finished 13th." - She smiles.

"That's the thing. You say you're the emperor, but you define yourself by soccer. I just found out I'm much more than skating. And that's okay." - She walks past him. - "Don't call me again."

Ken's breath is hot against my ear. One of his hands supports himself on the mattress, the other draws lazy circles on my clit. I moan his name.

It's becoming a routine, doing duties with Satoru on the day light, appearing like the perfect couple in public, and meeting Kenny most nights. I leave our chared chambers in the death of night, hoping he doesn't hear me. Most nights I don't even know if he's there or at a brothel, but I still don't want to flaunt my affair in his face.

I feel guilty, we still haven't talked, even though I promised him. Sleeping in separate quarters and only speaking about our duties. He still leaves me chocolate and tea before he leaves in the morning, which makes me feel worse. I find it difficult to truly give myself to Kento under the circumstances. I thought he would be everything I ever wanted, but everything feels so... dirty.

"Say you're mine, y/n?" - He grunts, pounding into me. I feel a knot in my stomach and it's not my orgasm, because I'm not his, I always knew this and so did he.

I moan to hide my discomfort, asking him to go harder. And he goes, Ken always does what I ask, and it's great, but it's never enough. The guilt is enormous, because today is my six months wedding anniversary, and here I was.

I needed Ken to go harder, to ruin me, to make me feel like the slut I already thought I was. Because I ruined my chances with Satoru, because I felt I was dying a million deaths.

"I'm going to cum..." - He whispers, kissing my back.

"Do it on my back." - I moan, on the verge of tears. I needed confort, needed contact. Satoru always knew this and today I missed him. I never let Ken cum inside of me, careful to not get pregnant, careful of scandals.

When he cums, I realize I'm already crying, my ring glistening under the moonlight.

"Is everything alright? Did I hurt you, dear?" - Ken asks, he really cares about me, which makes it worse. I think about Riko, waiting for someone who will never want her. I think about Satoru, wonder if he's in his bed today.

"You were perfect, Kenny." - I smile through my tears, but I'm already dressing up. I can't be here today.

I don't say goodbye to Ken, I just leave. When I get to my quartes, Satoru is at our shared living room reading a book, the balcony is open. He looks so beautiful under the moonlight and I miss him.

"Had fun with your ex, today? Or is he your current boyfriend? I can't keep up anymore." - He says, not looking up from his book. A volume about flowers I see, I had recommended him on his first week in the palace. My heart breaks in a million pieces.

"We need to talk. I can't do this anymore. The clandestine meetings, the pretending. I miss you, Satoru..." - He closes his book, getting up, hands on his pockets and I look down on the weight of his stare. The weight of my sins too big.

"You're crying..." - He whispers.

"It's our anniversary..." - I whisper, looking up. His eyes are as bright as I remember. - "I can't do this without you. Not anymore. I love you." - There it was, the thing I was so afraid to say. The thing I realized today.

"Don't say that. Not after you just came back from his chambers. Not to make me come back to you." - He is pleading, eyes glistening with tears unspiled. - "I told you I couldn't do this if you gave me hope and took it away. Look at this godforsaken mess you made me..."

"It's true, it's been true from the first time you've kissed me. You've taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else..." - I walk closer to him, scared he's going to vanish. - "I'm sorry I've been so stuck to the past to realize that. I'm sorry I hurt you and I'm sorry I was so childish to speak to you before."

"Gods, you made me an idiotic fool..." - He says, getting close to me. - "But I would ruin myself for you a million times..."

He kisses me and I sigh, feeling home, because Satoru Goju is my home. Because after a long day, he's everything I want to see. He's the only one I want to talk to when something funny happens, because I know he'll make a silly joke. Because I know he knows me, he knows me even when I don't say anything. And because for him I would ruin myself too, a million little times.

And when Satoru picks me up, for the first time in long weeks, and says: - "You're mine, y/n Gojo, now and forever."

"I'm yours, for the rest of my life, Satoru Gojo." - I answer smiling, because the truth is I was always his, I had just strayed from home.

A/n: This was low-key one of my favorites chapters to write.

She sees him the day Tony decides to throw a party for the old Avengers and veteran shield agents. Her brother calls her desperate for a wine crate, saying the buffet fucked up. As a white flag, trying to reconnect, she shows up three hours early, dressed in a very flashy dress and with 10 bottles of wine personally selected from her cellar.

"You're a lifesaver, sis, you know that?" - He greets her, taking the crate out of her hands.

"I know. What would you do without me and yada yada." - She dismisses him, laughing.

"I missed you, you know?" - Tony tells her as they sit in the kitchen, a multitude of people passing through. - "Morgan too." - He adds.

"Low blow!" - She laughs, but it's devoid of bite. - "Sorry, I just didn't want to bother you."

"As if you could bother me. Weren't you the one who told me I was your father?" - Tony raises his brow to her.

"Hey, I told you that because you were scared you were going to be a bad dad to Morgan. I stand by it." - She points a finger at him, caught in her habit of isolating herself.

"It still stands." - Tony looks at her. - "You're more than my sister and you know it. Call me. Whenever you need it."

"You've been talking to Barnes?" - Y/n muses, thinking on how similar they sound.

"Maybe." - Tony tells her and y/n raises her eyebrows, making Tony raise his hands. - "He came to make amends and we ended up talking about you, we both care about you."

"Alright, I never thought I'd live to see the day you two would work through your crap again." - y/n laughs.

"Well, I saw the way you got when you fought. And then when he vanished. In the end, I care about you more." - Tony tells her. - "You should give him a chance.

"You think that'll work? I kinda vanished from his life. I barely talk to anyone..." - y/n starts.

"He's trying. If you try, I think that's enough." - Tony states. - "As for every else... I'm here, aren't I?"

Y/n leans down on Tony's chest, missing her brother. - "When did you get so wise?"

"It comes with age!" - Tony says and y/n laughs.

They stay like that for a while, Pepper arranging the party, Morgan with the sitter and the Stark siblings finally reconnecting after months of y/n thinking isolation was the best for them. She thought isolation was the best to shield them, but after today she realized that maybe her brother needed her just as much as she needed him.

When the party started, she didn't magically feel included. Y/n lingered by the bar, thinking on how before she used to be the life of the party. She thinks on what point she became a blob of depression, around the third allien invasion? Was it when her fiancé died? When the love of her life lied to her? Or when the weight of the world's biggest secrets lied on her shoulders as director of Shield?

She lets out a bitter laugh, settling on people watching. She sees Bucky talking with Sam and Steve, engrossed in conversation about shield tossing, she sees Maria talking to Pepper and Wanda, discussing the best recipes to do on their days off, she sees her brother and Vision talking about how to better and AI.

"You look like you're undercover and tactically watching people." - She hears Natasha's voice by her side, not having heard her approaching. Though she was trained by Natasha, the Widow could easily sneak up on her if she wanted to.

"Sorry." - y/n says cheaply. - "I have found out that I'm not longer good with big groups."

"Which one of us is?" - Natasha settles beside her.

"It used to be so easy." - y/n muses. - "I feel like there's a weight in me lately..."

"You know you can call, right?" - Natasha turns to her.

"Are you sure? You're always on missions, when you're here I don't want to disturb you..." - y/n looks down

"Y/n..." - Natasha starts. - "First of all, you're the one who deploys me, I think it's pretty easy for you to reach me..." - y/n smiles weakly.

"Second of all, we're each other's village. You'd drop everything for me, I drop everything for you." - Natasha tells y/n and she knows she's right. They were always best friends and time had not changed it. - "Call, will you dum dum?"

Y/n smiles. - "I'll try." - And she would.

"Now c'mon, let's dance. I won't let you mop all night!" - Natasha tells her and drags her to the dance floor.

Vegas by Doja Cat is playing and when Natasha starts to dance, for once it's very easy for y/n to loose herself on the music. She had always been a party girl, much like her brother, only being quiet when she was in a relationship. However, unlike Tony, she never did it for the drinks, y/n lost herself on the dance floor, in the lights and the music. She always thought she could be anyone there, and today she was choosing to be someone who didn't isolate herself, if only for a night.

That didn't go unnoticed by Bucky. The Sargent counted the days to see and talk to y/n again, he was drawn to her like a magnet. He saw her dance song after song with Natasha, remembering the time he was the one dancing with her.

Flashbacks of their trip to Amsterdam coming to his head. A time so simple and yet so different. Back then he knew he loved her, but y/n told him she couldn't commit to him. Not after Jonathan. He remembers feeling shattered, but understanding her, his own recovery in progress at the time.

"You should talk to her." - Steve tells him.

"What if she doesn't want to talk to me..." - Bucky tells him, insecure.

"It's y/n, she will want to talk to you." - Steve says, finally.

Bucky sighs, eyes not leaving her. Eventually their eyes lock and she smiles, a real one that conveys years of unspoken feelings and a deep need to talk.

Bucky reaches her when she's going for the food, always unable to resist Tony's buffet. She's sweaty and Natasha has left to talk to Steve.

"I heard the quiche is really good." - Bucky awkwardly tries to make conversation.

"As if you eat in these parties, Barnes..." - y/n smiles, but she gets a piece of quiche and turns to him.

"Doesn't mean I don't listen to what others are saying." - He counters, also smiling.

"Ah!" - Y/n jokes, eating her quiche. - "You were brooding."

"I was not!" - He defends himself and y/n laughs.

"Relax. You're out of the doghouse." - She tells him.

"Am I? Feels like we haven't really talked..." - Bucky starts to speak.

Y/n takes a deep breath, she feels if she starts speaking to Bucky, a dam will break and she will spill and spill uncontrollably.

"I have so much to tell you and don't know how..." - She looks at him. - "I just don't think I can do it here."

"Let me take you to get coffee? That expensive chai latte you love?" - Bucky looks at her, and his eyes plead.

"Allright, Monday at 8." - y/n tells him.

"I'll be there." - He smiles.

"Good." - She takes another piece of quiche, leaving.

The night seems lighter after that, like old friends coming home. Everyone has inside jokes from years of working together, and for the first time in a long time, y/n participates in them.

Monday comes fast and she adjusts her outfit a thousand times before going out. She settles on jeans, platform heels, a crew neck shirt and a leather jacket. Her hair is arranged in smooth curls and her face has a natural not natural makeup.

She put on effort, she wants Bucky to think she's pretty, even if this is not a date. When she caught the elevator, her legs are wobbly with how nervous she is, she notices.

He arrives in a motorcycle, exactly at 8:02p.m.

"You look pretty, doll." - He says, and y/n notices he's breathless.

"Thank you..." - She's nervous too. - "Are we going on your bike?"

"Yes. Thought it would add emotion."

"You know I'm wearing heels, right?" - y/n tells him, suddenly nervous.

"As if that ever stopped you." - Bucky smiles. - "Let's go, Stark!"

And y/n goes, because she trusts Bucky and because she missed him. She gets on the bike and hugs his waist the whole way to the café. The feeling is familiar to her and through her nerves, she realizes how much she misses her James.

At the café, y/n realizes he remembers her order: one chai latte and one caprese croissant. They used to go there together and when she went there alone after him, it never felt the same.

"You remembered..." - She tells him after he orders.

"I tend to have the awful habit of never forgetting anything about you..." - He tells her and she gives him a small smile.

"It never felt the same without you... coming here..." - She almost whispers this, like a confession.

"I missed you. Not a little. A miss you in missions with Sam, when I think about how much you'd get my plan. I miss you at nights when I can't sleep. I miss our inside jokes and most of all I miss you, how you'd just fill the space." - Bucky's eyes bore into y/n's and her breath gets caught in her throat. It takes her a while to speak.

"I miss you too." - She admits, only being able to talk when the food gets to the table. - "It's just not that easy for me..."

"How so?" - Bucky asks, a bite of his own croque-monsieur coming to his mouth.

"When you left the first time..." - y/n wills the memory into her head, taking a deep breath. - "I lost everything. I didn't eat, didn't sleep, couldn't get out of bed."

"Y/n, I'm sorry..." - Bucky starts.

"No, let me finish." - She says, tears coming to her eyes. - "I found out a while later I was pregnant, you know?"

"How far along?" - Bucky asks, pain in his eyes.

"Would believe me if I told you I only found out the day I lost it?" - y/n looks down, unable to face him. - "I woke up bleeding one day, apparently I got so weak that the pregnancy was unsustainable."

"At the hospital I was mad at you for leaving. At myself for my situation. At my brother for trying to keep me alive. At the world for existing" - y/n continues and Bucky sees a pain in there he only saw the day she found out about his lie. - "They put me in a specialized care unity again afterwards. And no one knew what to do with me, because I didn't have an ED, I was just so depressed I lost my will to live."

"Slowly I got better, but the pain was still there. When I got out I threw myself in shield jobs and partying... I wanted to feel something." - Bucky notices she's crying now. - "And then came Thanos, I saw you after years and you just vanished in front of me, my brother gone to space. I was back in bed after we lost."

"When Tony came back from space we just held each other, two people barely there." - She looks in Bucky's eyes. - "And two years later you were the reason I accepted to fight back. To try again. Because a world where you are alive and not with me is better than a world where you don't exist, James." - Bucky realizes it's the first time she called his name that day.

"But I can't loose you again. I lost myself too many times trying to find you." - She tells him, and she's serious.

"Then don't. I'm not going anywhere, y/n." - Bucky tells her, getting closer.

Y/n looks at him, deep into his eyes, and he sees her hesitation. He also sees her love.

"Can I?" - He asks, cradling her head.

"Will you break my heart, James?" - She asks, tears fresh in her eyes.

"Cross my heart and hope to die I won't." - She softens and he kisses her slowly, conveying years of separation and yearning.

Back at y/n's place, things don't happen fast, it's slow and carefully. Bucky holds her like she is his world, because is reality she is, and he's not going to let go.

A/n: We're almost at the end of this fic, but it's so fun writing it.

"You want to be a Olympian one day. You have to keep your figure." - She said, as she made y/n weight herself everyday.

It reflected in the way y/n saw herself, in what she ate, in everything. But it didn't stop there.

Alina started criticizing y/n's friends. And having not a single female authority figure to look up to besides Alina, y/n listened. She only talked to Sofia, Geovana and Sae. Everyone else was reduced to colleagues.

"You don't need distractions!" - She said.

What no one ever expected, no one ever knew, was how far Alina's abuse would go. Six months into training, y/n had a 50% succes rate of the quad axel, but Alina would not implement it into her program unless it had at least a 90%. So she resulted to physical abuse.

On the day of y/n's 16th birthday training was supposed to be lighter, brighter. She has a sweet 16 party planned. But Alina didn't think her whole heart was in the training, so she got a stick and hit y/n's side. It wasn't strong enough to leave a mark, but strong enough to knock the smile out of her face.

"Your heart is not into it. You have to land the axel, skate faster!" - Alina said and y/n noticed her face was hard as always, even though her own had a tear.

At the end of training, Alina called her to the side.

"You know I always want you best, right y/n?" - She said, face still emotionless.

Y/n nodded, still processing what happened during the day. She cried in the bathroom during her birthday party, clutching her dress.

As the weeks progressed, training got more intense, and every time y/n failed to land the axel, Alina beat her. Eventually, it became instinct to land it, survival even.

Sae noticed it, the change in her demeanor. Their encounters became less frequent, and when they did meet, y/n was always distant.

"Allright, spill it." - He said one day, mid bite in his paella.

"I don't know what you're talking about..." - y/n knew, but it's not like she was going to talk about Alina. A part of her knew it wasn't healthy, but another was terrified of her and a small one didn't want to be separated from her.

"Y/n..." - Sae said, sternly.

"Look, nationals are coming up. Then Grand Prix. This is the first time I'm competing in the senior category and I'm doing the quad axel." - She states, biting a piece of paella. Sae raises a brow, not buying it. - "I promise that's just it. The pressure."

"Alright... I miss my friend, you know..." - He says, a rare show of vulnerability.

"I miss you too..." - Y/n admits. - "There's just a lot going on at the moment..."

"I know..." - Sae tells her and reaches for her hand.

The truth was that Sae did not in fact know, and things were about to get much worse for y/n Ortega. In the next couple of months, she got so engrossed in Alina's schedule that she saw Sae less and less.

Alina started leaving marks on y/n's stomach. She started documenting it, to see how much she was failing. Sae send messages she didn't even know how to reply.

Sae: Want to get Gelato this week

Y/n: Can't, training got upped to 10 hours. Sorry :(

Sae: Everything alright? Miss you, Skater.

Y/n: Yeah. Nationals this week, will you watch?

Sae: Always :)

Y/n: Saw you on the field today, your goal was 10/10

Sae: It always is. Come watch sometime?

Y/n: After the Grand Prix?

Their messages started getting less and less frequent. Eventually they just... stopped talking.

Y/n went to nationals and the grand prix, her short program being a rendition of Hit The Road Jack and the free skate a medley of No Time To Die/Paint It Black. The Quad Axel was tucked in the free skate, as quads were only allowed for women in the free skating category.

Sae was not there for her, and she knew she should have tried harder. But she did what she could, she was a child being abused, even if she did not know at the time. Both of them were children.

She did not know thought that he watched every single one of her skates. He cheered for her, because through that screen, as she skated, he saw a glimpse of who she was when he met her. The person he missed during the last months of friendship.

Y/n landed every single one of her jumps, including the quad axel. She cried of happiness in the rink after she finished her programs during nationals, the joy too deep. She had made history.

"Six quads. The first person to land a quad axel. She is not a quad queen, she's a quad goddess!" - She heard the commentator say as she exits the rink, hugging Alina.

When 2022 came around she went to Beijing, on the verge of completing her 17 years old. She did the same program and brought the gold back home with her, but the toll was starting to get her. She was starting to feel her ankles ache when she landed the quads.

The reason wasn't a lesion or anything like that. The truth was that y/n Ortega was simply to malnourished and way to overworked to continue the way she was. She may have won gold, but the 2023 season was not set to be a good one for her.

A/n: The programs I mentioned were inspired by these ones: short program/free skate.

Despite that, I sense he's still angry at me. I suppose he wants me to have a healthy pregnancy, but doesn't know how to speak to me. I don't know how to talk to him either. I was never great with feelings, that was how I was brought to this situation, but I missed Satoru. I realized these last few days that I longed for him whenever we were apart. I longed for the way he held me, the way he talked to me without speaking, the way we spoke without words.

I missed my best friend and my husband, Satoru was always much more than a contract. And I started to realize that maybe that's what love was. But when there were so many lies and so much hurt between us, could we go back to whay we were? Could I leave Ken?

Today I felt between two worlds as I walked into the crafts fair that was taking place at court. I saw Satoru on my right and Kento on my left, like a choice from a romance book. Being a good wife and keeping up with appearances, I walk straight to Satoru, not even thinking twice.

"Good morning, dear." - He kisses my cheek, a gesture I missed, but only made in public lately. - "I know it's early and that we're keeping it low, but what do you think about this? For you I mean..."

Satoru picks up a doll made out of fabric. It's truly beautiful.

"It's beautiful, Satoru." - I say and hold his free hand. We lock eyes and for a moment it all feels normal, like we can breathe again.

The moment, however, is shattered when one of the royal ladies passes, laughing to attract Satoru's attention. It seems he has been busy in the time we haven't been together, but most of all, it seems we can't catch a break.

He clears his throat, looking in the direction of the girl, Lady Yamamoto I recognize. Her father has sent her as a lady in waiting for Choso Kamo's younger sister, Aoi. She wasn't very smart if she thought being a king's mistress was the best path.

"I'm sorry, she's out of line. Can we talk tonight?" - He looks at me, eyes with a sincerity that lacks between us lately.

"It's alright, I kinda knew you would eventually move on from me. It's just... I don't know... I know it's not fair, but can you make sure they don't display it in front of me?" - I look down, not being able to hide my conflicted feelings, but Satoru puts his fingers in my chin, lifting my face.

"I can, but just so you know... I could never move on from you..." - He says the last part in my ear and I smile softly.

"We'll talk then... tonight..." - He kisses me softly.

"I'll bring the strawberry tarts!" - He says as he turns to leave and for a moment it feels like things may be alright. I exhale a deep breath.

With the promise of finaly talking to my husband, I decide to allow myself to live a little. I shop the stands of the fair, looking at jewelry, new fabric for dresses and even food. I buy a little of everything, not being know for my frugality. A stand of perfume catches my eye and I while I smell the most delicious fragrance of vanilla and butterscotch, someone approaches me.

"You know, you always had the most amazing lavander smell. Though lately you've been smelling more like lilies..." - It's Kento, he's directly behind me, voice in my ear.

"I'll take this, please." - I give the perfume to the sales lady, before turning around to face him. - "Do you sniff me, Ken?" - I smile at him and he takes a step back, careful of the stares.

"No, but I memorize everything about you, y/n Inoue..." - He smirks and I straighten his outfit.

"It's Gojo now, you have to remember, Kenny." - I look down, trying not to hurt him.

"Gojo or Inoue, you'll still be in my bed tonight..." - He whispers in my ear and I look into his eyes, suddenly feeling very hot.

"Walk with me." - I say and he falls in line by my side. - "Did your father tell you Naoya got a new wife?" - He hums.

"He did. A bastard, right? How do you feel?" - He looks at me while we leave the fair.

"Honestly? Overwhelmed. It'll be a run for heirs and support. I need everyone I can get and soon I'll need to start sending people in missions..." - He talkes a deep breath.

"Me too you mean..."

"Yeah, you're one of my strongest warriors, Ken. And I need you this time..." I turn to look at him.

"I guess we need to make the best of the time we have then..." - He says and kisses me deeply.

I make a sound, but don't object. - "Wait, not here. Remember, discretion!" - I say, pushing him to the nearest closet.

Ken smiles pushing me against the door, kissing my neck and lifting my dress. It's easy to forget things when I'm with him, to forget I'm a queen. I think the reason I'm so drawn to him is the feeling I'm three years younger, that we're still that boy and girl reading in the yard.

Ken has hurt me a lot, but I had hurt so many people too. It almost felt like a joke that the Angel of Darkness could have a happy ending. Could I even get my life back on track? Was it so bad accepting Kento's touch back if I was doomed to be alone? If we were doomed to never be truly together?

"Do you want to go back to my chambers?" - He asks, adjusting my dress and caressing my thighs softly when we were done.

"I can't, I sorta have a date with Satoru." - I say and a small smile scapes me. Ken's hand stops.

"Oh, I didn't know you were still doing that..." - Ken's eyebrow shoot up.

"Doing what, Kenny? He's my husband!" - I say, straightening my posture.

"I know, but he's been going out with court ladies... I thought you were only public now..." - He looks down.

"We can never be just that, Ken. You know that. We have to have heirs, and we'd be miserable if we didn't at least became friends." - We look at each other, at the relationship we'd never have. - "You knew you could never have me fully..." - I say softly.

"I knew, I just never thought it'd hurt so much..." - His face twists. I kiss him softly.

"I know. I'm sorry." - I open the door, sighing. I feel Kento's pain, but in a different way.

I don't have neither Ken's nor Satoru's full affection. I'm in between two men's affections in a prision of my own making, too stubborn to fix anything.

When I arrive at my chambers, Satoru is already there, fixing the dinner table on his on. He really did bring the tarts. He sighs when he sees my disheveled state though.

"You were with him." - It was not a question.

"Well, you have your sweethearts. Isn't it fair I have fun too? Besides, I came back to you, didn't I?" - I smirk, challenging him. Too proud to admit I was jealous, to admit I wanted things to go back to where they were before but didn't know how.

"That ain't the same. I don't have feelings for them!" - Satoru clenches his jaw and I approach him.

"But they sure as hell fell confortable showing off in front of your wife, their queen. Nanami would never." - My eyes twinkle with challenge.

"I'd have his head if he did, darling!" - He smirks, twirling a strand of my hair in his finger. I laugh.

"You wouldn't dare!" - I say.

"You don't know what I'd do for you. It kills me to see you with him, to not touch you. Most of the time I want to take in front of the whole court just to show them you're still mine..." - His head pends to the side, eyes dark.

"Face it, darling. You may want to kill Kento, but you would be so bored if you were married to someone else..." - I smirk at him, tension dense.

"Probably. But you're still mine, not his, not anyone else's..." - He says and kisses me in a way he never did. It's hungry and possessive.

It's been months since I last been with Satoru and I realize I misses him. It's different than Kento, the tension is instant. He picks me up from the floor and my legs barely have time to grab around his waist before he throws me on the bed.

Satoru acts like a man possessed, like he wants to devour me. He tears my dress apart before kissing down my jaw, I moan his name in his ear.

"That's it. Say my name, Lady Gojo." - He groans between kisses.

He sucks my nipple while squeezing my other breast, making my mind go haywire. Everything I think about is him, how I missed him, how sex with him is different. When he gets to my cunt, it's already dripping wet.

"Look at this. All for me?" - He says, looking at me from between my legs.

"Yes..." - I choke.

"Well, tell me who this pussy belongs to, tell me who you belong to, y/n..." - He teases a finger at my entrance and I choke another moan.

"You, Satoru. I'm yours..."

"Good girl!" - He licks a stripe at my pussy, making me gasp. Then, he adds his fingers and his full tongue, making go into overdrive.

Satoru has a way of making me cum very hard, but today he hit a record. I come hard, missing him.

"Feeling good?" - I hear him and feel him caressing my face after a while, hand straightening my hair.

"Yeah..." - I say, breathless.

"Good. Because now I'm going to fuck you really good, make you feel every inch of my dick and remember you're mine. Then, you're gonna be dripping with my cum. Got it, pretty girl?" - I shiver at his words and open my legs, making him smirk

Satoru is not playing today, sheating himself fully at once. He sets a brutal pace, making me scratch his back, leaving marks that will definitely be seen tomorrow. He also holds my hips with bruising force.

"You're mine, got it? Only mine! Remember that when Nanami comes to you!" - I moan, loosing myself in him.

When I come, I clench around him, making him release a gutural moan and spill inside me not long after. He lays on top of me, heavy and breathless, but I don't mind, it feels right.

Satoru kisses my head and I hug him, realizing what just happened. I missed him, missed my husband. I didn't lie, I really was his, but how could I come back to him as if nothing happened?

"I'll tell the ladies to be more discreet. And deal with Yamamoto. I won't take disrespect to you..." - He says, pulling out and laying on my side, his hand still around my waist.

"Thank you." - My head is still spinning with thoughts, what are we now?

"I want you to know that none of them compares to you. And when you're ready, I'm here if you want to talk things through..." - He says, eyes closing. - "Even if I have no idea how to talk like a human being..."

I smile at the thought. - "Thank you. I'll take you on that..."

I turn on his arms, getting ready to sleep for the first time in months in my husband's arms. When I'm almost asleep, I hear Satoru's soft voice.

"Y/n?" - He says and I hum. - "Do you think I poked the baby? I really don't want to hurt them..."

I sigh. - "Go to sleep, Satoru."

A/n: They're so stubborn 😭😭

She laughed at him, and he knew that he was in trouble. He liked the sound of her laugh too much.

"Sae, you have to let go of the handrail!"

"I'm going to break something, y/n..." - He flinches, letting go of the rail.

"C'mon, I'll hold your hand. Promise not to do any spins while you're with me!" - She smiles and he reaches for her, a feeling that has become all to natural.

Y/n guides him through the rink and he sees himself becoming acostumed to it, eventually letting go of her hand.

"Okay, this is... not lukewarm..." - She laughs again.

"I'm surprised, you know?" - She says, skating backwards in front of him. - "You seem like a... wintery cold person... how could you have never once tried skating?"

"I don't know, I always played soccer..." - Sae shrugs. - "I don't do many things besides playing soccer..."

Y/n narrows her eyes at him. - "You're kidding me?"

"I'm not..." - He says looking down, face devoid of any emotion, but suddenly shy because of his obsession with soccer.

"What do you do when you're stressed out?" - y/n asks, curious about the boy.

"I watch the sea, it calms me down..." - He says. - "Besides, do you have time for hobbies? You've said it yourself you train for six hours at least!" - Sae shoots back.

"I have hobbies! I read, watch movies, listen to music, go out with my friends. Also, to be great in figure skating I do other things... I dance, contemporary and classical ballet twice a week!" - She smirks and does a waltz jump, all to pleased with herself.

"Alright, you win the hobbie competition." - Sae rolls his eyes.

"Great!" - She breaths. - "I'll take you to see Star Wars next, you're gonna love it." - She skates away and Sae groans.

The fact was that at this point he knew everything about her, he pretended not to care. Acted like it would be a hassle to watch her favorite movie, but he spent way to many time researching her programs. He saw her skate to the Star Wars theme and saw fans throwing thematic plushies her way. Sae would not mind watching Star Wars with y/n, not if he could hear from her why she found the series so amusing and ask if she found him as interesting as he found her. Did she research him too, he wondered?

Unbeknownst to him, she had. Y/n Ortega had found him just as interesting, the problem was that Sae Itoshi was a much more private person. Y/n had grown in the spotlight her whole life, being an heiress before being an athlete. People gravitated towards her, she knew how to sway the cameras, what to wear, how to speak, Spain's darling. But Sae? He didn't give interviews, only to criticize the game's strategy. Y/n had found nothing about him, and that only amused her more.

They started spending as much time together as their busy schedules allowed, and the time that was sacred to them, was the world's new gossip:

"Spain's Ice Ballerina and Japan's Boy Wonder rumored to be dating - see pictures of them in a restaurant." - Said TMZ.

"Rumor: A certain midfielder is dating an ice princess. The couple is rumored to have met this year and have not let go of each other, pushing up time on their busy training schedule to spend time together." - Said Deuxmoi.

"Spain's Ice Skating Jewel and Japan's Greatest Treasure? The Timeline of y/n Ortega and Sae Itoshi's relationship" - Said Page 6.

"Quad Queen and The Prodigy: See the legacy of the couple of the moment" - Said Sports Ilustraded.

"Is that going to be a distraction?" - Alina asked on Monday, soon after the news started to break.

"No, don't worry." - y/n answered as she tightened her skates, not paying much mind. - "We're not even together. He's just a good friend..." - And she was truthful.

Sae was quickly becoming someone she looked forward to meeting but something both him and her knew was not allowed to be more, at least not now. She needed to go to the Olympics and he needed to play soccer, but in the meantime, they could offer each other the friendly support only someone within their world could.

"Good, because there will be consequences if I see you distracted..." - y/n looked up, suddenly feeling cold. She loved Alina, but sometimes she scared her.

She entered the rink, warming up, it was quad axel training day. - "Do you think I can land it? No one ever did, not even a man..." - y/n asks, insecure.

"Good thing you're not a man..." - Alina says, smirking.

Y/n smiles, but the training is excruciating. She is a bit weak from the extreme dieting Alina has her in and all she can master perfectly is three and a half turns. She falls and falls. Y/n falls for months, her meetings with Sae being the only thing keeping her afloat.

"What's up with you today? You're... unusually lukewarm..." - Sae says one day as they watch A New Hope in the theater room in her house.

"I feel lukewarm..." - She says not looking up, sipping diet coke and sinking on the confort seat her dad put in the room for her.

At this point her whole family was familiar with Sae. Her brother had threatened to Tonya Harding his knee if he hurt her, but her father had just been happy she was talking to someone that was not Alina. And Sae? Sae loved the feeling of being accepted in a new family, missing his own that was so many miles away. He would never say this out loud, but the Ortegas, despite being way richer than his own family, reminded him of them.

Y/n didn't have a mom, not really. When she and her brother were born, her parents got divorced and her mother just moved overseas, leaving the twins to be raised by a very busy tech mogul and many nannies. But Leonardo Ortega loved his children and he made the best he could. Y/n knew that. And so did her brother, Antonio.

Y/n's relationship with her mom explained a lot about her relationship with Alina and Sae would be dumb not to see that. He tried not to meddle, but when one of his favorites people in the world acted like she was the problem, he couldn't not meddle.

"You're one of the least lukewarm people I know." - Sae says, turning in his seat to face y/n.

"You just said the opposite..." - She counters, rolling her eyes at him.

"That's because you don't feel like you." - He states, eating his popcorn.

Y/n sighs. - "I can't land the quad axel."

"From what you tell me no one can land a quad axel." - Sae states, devoid of any emotion.

"Well, I'm supposed to be the first. And I'm failing... miserably!" - If possible, y/n sinks even more in her seat.

"Alright, why are you failing?" - Sae asks, trying to rationalize the situation.

"I can do three and a half rotations. When I go for the four and a half I need for the quad, I can't land right. I need more speed." - y/n says.

"And how would you aquire more speed?" - Sae retorts.

"Well..." - y/n stops to think. - "Usually, I just jump, I don't think. That's how I do quads. With the axel, I think I kinda hesitate..."

"Alright... why do you hesitate?" - He looks at her.

"Because of what's at stake..." - She whispers.

"And what is?" - He asks.

"Everything..." - She looks at him, blue eyes in his teal ones. Sae sees himself in her, the 13 year old who left Japan and changed his dream after seeing the world. She knows he understands, but he asks her to elaborate anyway, because Sae Itoshi was not a man of many words, but y/n Ortega was.

"It's my legacy, what I want to leave to the sport. If I can do this, everything changes, Sae." - She says, voice low.

"Did you know you are the only woman besides a Russian to do a quad jump? The first to jump a quad toe loop? The fifth to jump a triple axel?" - Sae tells her. - "You already are incredible, y/n." - He whispers.

Y/n looks at him, a multitude of words between them, understanding and gratitude.

"But what if I want to be legendary?" - She asks.

"Them remember everything you are, you're probably the only one who could do this and succeed." - Sae smiles.

Y/n smiles back. - "So you googled me?" - She teases.

"Shut up..." - He says, hitting play on the movie to muffle her laughs.

The next morning, y/n doesn't hesitate. She jumps, her whole career flashes before her and she lands the quad axel.

A/n: I know there's not a lot of Sae right now, but if I'm being honest, I kinda wanted to focus a bit on the sport and the abuse the athletes go through before developing anything. This fic will follow them around for years, so I hope you guys like it 💜

I hear this words during my council and my world collapses, because there's only one reason Naoya would take a wife. He wants an heir to strengthen his claim to my throne.

"When did this happen?" - I say, looking at Manami's portrait, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Last week. The information just came through our spies." - Toji Fushiguro speaks, he's the one responsible for information like this.

I turn my back to them, feeling like I might throw up. Usually, I'm able to withstand the pressure, but I've been more sensitive than normal these last few days. The absence of Satoru in our chambers weighting on me.

"Who is she?" - I ask, trying to end this as quickly as possible.

"A bastard child of the Kamo clan. She was given a home by Noritoshi before his death. Right now, all she has is her power and the relationships she cultivated while living at the state." - Choso, the current leader of the Kamo clan speaks.

"Fitting. He's a bastard claiming the throne, not like any big noble house would give their daughter to him, or that the Zen'in would take someone with small cursed energy." - I turn to face my council. - "We have to make sure they don't have an heir, and strengthen our barriers."

"I'll take care of that." - The chief of my guard, Suguro Geto, says.

"You're dismissed." - I wave my hand. Sitting tiredly, hands on my temple.

"Your highness?" - Choso stays back.

"Continue, Lord Kamo." - I look up, Choso has always been a friend to me.

"I can curse Naoyas bloodline. But know that there will be a price..." - He says, seriously.

"Do you think we should? Be honest, Choso, I'm asking as your friend, whom you helped all those years ago."

"Are you willing to do what it takes to win this war?" - I looked up to him.

"To keep my throne and my family intact? Yes."

"Then we should." - Choso says.

I nod to him, getting up to leave. I feel sick, my head is spinning. All I know is I need to find Satoru, I need to tell him. I only take three steps before I black out and feel Choso's arms around me.

---

I lay in my room, still drunk from last night. Ever since my coronation, y/n and I haven't been able to talk properly. To everyone else, we were still the perfect couple, holding hands and staying close at political events. But at night? She was always at Kento's chambers, a thought that made me sick. Not that I was much better. I never loved someone like her, and when talk seemed to flow so easily before, now there was only pain. Much like her, I didn't know how to communicate, only how to fight. So I hid, and drank, sometimes finding the confort of someone else, but no one was quite like her. I sigh, getting up when I hear a sound at the door.

"Yes?" - I say, opening the door just a few inches, it was Lord Choso Kamo.

"You need to come with me, your highness. Now." - he says, urgency in his voice. My face drops and I know something happened to y/n.

He leads me to the medical bay, where y/n is laying down, connected to a tube. My heart shatters.

"Everybody who's not a medic or a patient, out. Now." - I say, voice firm. But my face is broken. I turn to Choso before he leaves. - "Thank you, Choso. I know you are her friend. Today you became mine." - He nods, leaving us alone.

"What happened to my wife?" - I ask the medic working on her.

"She's alright, the baby too. It was just stress and first trimester symptoms. I'm just administering some IV to hydrate her." - My mind stops functioning and returns after a while.

"Baby?" - I ask.

"Yes, your highness. She's three weeks along. I'll leave you two alone, she'll probably wake up in a while." - She leaves to tend to her other patients and I sit by y/n's side, taking her hand in mine.

A baby, I feel sick thinking it could be Kento's. Three weeks ago was the last we were together. It could either be a piece of y/n and I, with her eyes and my hair, or a scandal waiting to happen. I don't think I ever thought of myself as a father until this moment. I knew that no matter who the father was, I would take the paternity. I knew I had a deal with y/n, that if we had children outside of marriage, it would made it void, but I would not let that happen. We may not be together, but I would not let her lose her reign over a mistake.

I'm so in my head I barely register when she opens her eyes.

"Hey." - She says weakly. - "I know I passed out, but you look like someone just died, Toru..." - She jokes, the first I hear her voice in private in weeks.

"Are you alright? How are you feeling?" - I kiss her hand, checking on her before having any serious talk.

"I'm alright, just low blood pressure I think. Did the doctor say what happened?" - She asks and I sigh.

"You're pregnant, y/n. Three weeks." - I say, seriously.

"I can't believe I'm pregnant. We're gonna have a baby..." - She says, looking at me with vulnerability I rarely see in her. - "Why are you so serious, Toru?" - She asks, looking down to me.

"Is it mine, y/n? I will take the paternity if it isn't, I just need to know..." - I say, looking up to her. - "And we really need to talk when you're better..."

"Satoru..." - She says, looking ashamed. - "Of course it's yours. I know we're not at the best place, but I never let Kento... you know... cum inside..." - She says, a bit shy.

"Oh..." - Realization dawns on me and I smile. - "So we're gonna have a baby!" - I smile, weakly, but present.

"We're gonna have a baby!" - She smiles. - "But, Toru" - She says, and I can feel the edge in her voice. - "We can't tell anyone, not yet. Naoya's got a new wife and the pressure on us and this baby will be immense. We can't announce until it's safe."

"Alright, we don't announce until you say so, then." - I say, smoothing the crease in her brow.

"Do you think passing out earns me the right to stay in our chambers until dinner at least?" - She says, eyes closing.

"Well, if it doesn't, it does now. Order of the king!" - She smiles, eyes still closed.

When medic clears y/n, I lead her back to our chambers, my hand never leaving her back, an habit I picked up on our honeymoon. It feels strange now, foreign. I realize how much I missed y/n in these last few weeks.

I settle her on her bed, sighing, remembering the nights we spent here together. I suppose those were the past now.

"Are you going to tell him?" - I ask her, unable to look in her eyes. When did we lost ourselves?

"Only when we announce to the whole court. Not now. I still don't trust him not to tell his father." - She tells me and I sigh again.

"Why are you with him, y/n?" - I ask sincerely.

"I don't know... It sort of happened..." - She says.

"I still love you, you know? Maybe I shouldn't, but I do. I think I will for the rest of my life, even if you're not mine..." - I say, and she finally rises to look in my eyes.

"I'm sorry... I have feelings for you too, I just don't want to hurt you... It's not fair to you. You gave me everything..." - She says.

"And it's fair to him?" - I say seriously, tilting my head. - "We're going to have a child, y/n. One made out of love. Because you can not say any time we've been together it's been out of duty. This baby was made out of love and love only."

I can see y/n is on the verge of tears, so I sigh, deciding on letting her sleep.

"Rest, we'll talk later." - I leave, feeling hollow despite of the good news.

Y/n: I'd like to apologize to your feelings.

She wonders the corridors for a bit, looking for somewhere calm. She missed the ice, everything here was beautiful, but felt so... summery. Y/n felt her whole life was shaped in the cold, she did things cleanly, never missed, never lost. She can't even remember the last time she took a break from skating and now she didn't even know where the nearest rink was.

She thought about the snack stand, thought about Alina, what would be acceptable. She wished her coach was there to guide her to what was allowed during a break. Her relationship with Alina had became almost symbiotic, but y/n couldn't see that, couldn't see the sickness in it. She was a child, and right now, she was starting to panic over snacks.

"Are you supposed to be here?" - She hears someone say in Japanese. Being who she was had it's perks, y/n spoke multiple languages.

She looks up, seeing a boy with teal eyes and magenta hair. Y/n was supported on a wall, taking deep breaths and carefully composing herself.

"Sorry, I don't... know? I just walked around and people... let me? Usually they don't stop me... sorry..." - She wasn't being conceited, people really didn't stop her when they knew who she was. Sae didn't know this, though, and was thoroughly unimpressed.

"Tch... that's lukewarm..." - He said, expression monotone.

"I'm sorry?" - y/n raises an eyebrow, now very curious on who this boy was. Nobody really treated her like this.

"This is the corridor to the players lockers. You shouldn't be here. I'd guess you were a fangirl, but you seem... lost in your thoughts." - He state, crossing his arms.

"And you decide to treat me like crap instead of giving me directions?" - She rises from the wall, crossing her arms too.

"Well, I'm not a guide... and you are acting lukewarm..." - He states and y/n laughs. Sae is caugh off guard by that.

"Do you just call people that? Like they're tea or something?" - She smirks and Sae lets surprise transpire in his expression.

"You don't know who I am, do you?" - He asks.

"Should I? For the looks of it, you don't know who I am either..." - Y/n smirks again.

Sae is amused, probably everyone at the game knew who he was. He just met the one girl who didn't, the one who only followed winter sports. The one who just came because her father bought the tickets. And the one who apparently didn't recognize his face in all of the posters in the stadium.

"All right, lukewarm girl. You should watch the game and get back to this spot. Tell me then if you don't know who I am yet." - He rises his eyebrow then.

"That's conceited, but I'll bite. And how will you find out who I am?" - She asks, amused.

"You'll tell me then." - She laughs.

"You're weird." - A moment passes, Sae watches and truly hopes she accepts. - "But see you then, stranger."

Y/n smiles, turns and leaves, leaving behind an amused Sae. He smiles, it's very small and gone as soon as he turns to enter the locker room, but there. Sae Itoshi feels like he just met the most amusing person in this entire stadium, and he wants to know more.

Y/n on the other hand in puzzled as she returns to the snack stand. Setting on diet soda for her and a giant bucket of fried chicken for her friends. It's then that she finally looks at the poster, recognizing Sae's face.

"Well, now I'm screwed..." - She thinks.

Y/n Ortega has a policy of never overcomplicating her life. She goes to training, she does what Alina tells her, she listens to the same songs ever since she started developing a sense of self at age 11, and she absolutely doesn't tangle herself with athletes.

"I think I just met Sae Itoshi..." - She tells Sofia and Geovana as she sits in the stands and hands them the bucket. Face to the front, still too surprised to say more.

"Wait, what?" - Sofia asks, turning her face way to fast.

"Tell us everything!" - Geovana almost squeaks.

"There isn't much to tell. We talked, he's kinda weird, but I told him I'd meet him after the game again..." - y/n finally turns, sipping her coke.

"You have to go!" - Sofia screams.

"What about you guys?" - y/n asks.

"We'll go to the hotel or something, you'll tell us everything when you come back. Right?" - Geovana says.

"Obviously!" - y/n smiles.

When the game begins, y/n can't help but feel entranced by Sae. She spots him easily, magenta hair and all, and sees a bit of herself in him. She sees the look of concentration she has before jumping and when he scores, the same look of determination afterwards. It's subtle she notices, masked under indifference, but she sees it. She sees him.

And Sae sees her, when he scores the second goal. He looks at the stands and spots her, she's in one of the first seats, whispering to her friend. He doesn't know why he's so drawn by her, but he is.

After the game, she fulfills her promise, standing at the same corridor.

"You came." - He says, it's a statement.

"I told you I would, Sae Itoshi." - She smiles.

"Ah, so you know who I am now." - He smirks.

"Sorry, I don't usually follow summer sports. If you played hockey I'd know you no questions asked." - She smirks. - "Though you can't blame me, you still don't know who I am..."

"So... you are an athlete?" - Sae narrows his eyes.

"Y/n Ortega, Ice Skater, 3 time junior world champion, nice to meet you." - y/n reaches her hand, she was always proud of her skills in the rink.

"Alright, I might be impressed." - Sae squeezed her hand, lingering for a little to long. - "I assume you're not Japanese?"

"Spanish. Set to go to the Olympics in '22 if all goes right." - y/n answers, her blue eyes in his teal ones.

"It's impressive. You're... impressive." - Sae says, surprised at himself.

"So are you. Japan's U20 team? At how old?" - She asks, curious about the boy in front of her.

"17. But I'm just here for this match. I usually play for Spain in Madrid." - He says.

"Huh..." - She rises her eyebrows, amused.

"What?" - Sae asks, realizing he's all to pleased in indulging her.

"Just realized you're my neighbor." - She says, way to casually and Sae smirks.

"Really? So tell me, neighbor, what are you doing after here?" - He asks, wanting to spent more time with her, know more about the girl who knew nothing about soccer and too much about ice.

"Depends, what are you doing?" - She smirks, never missing a beat.

And Sae smiles, actually smiles, because everyone looks at him like a boy prodigy, but she didn't. Y/n Ortega looked at him like a person, and wanted to meet him. He wanted to meet her too, so much thar he found himself taking her hand and leading her to one of his favorites restaurants in town. A running sushi place with way too many options, a exception to his diet.

He noticed she didn't pick to many things, usually the ones with more protein. Always weighting her options.

"You're worried about your diet." - He states.

"I always am. I need to be if I want to jump a quad axel." - She says, Alina's words echoing in her head.

"I'll pretend I know what that is." - Sae smiles and y/n laughs.

"It's one of the hardest jumps in ice skating, the only one you do on your front. No one has ever jumped a quad of it." - y/n answers, eyes glistening.

"You love skating..." - Sae states.

"I do..." - She says and Sae tilts his head, urging her to continue. - "I love that there are so many technicalities, but so many art in it. You can mix classical ballet and contemporary, choose your favorite songs and skate to it. I love the joy of doing a quad, but also the joy of a good choreography, you know?"

"That's actually beautiful. What was your favorite choreography so far?" - Sae asks, wanting to hear her more, he likes the way she talked with passion. He couldn't remember the last time he loved soccer that much.

"I did a Harley Quinn short program last year that I loved. I liked getting in character, the outfit and the hair. Everything was just so... different." - y/n says, sincerely. - "What do you like about soccer?" - She asks, suddenly shifting focus.

Sae has to think about it for a while. - "Honestly, I was always driven by a deep desire to be the best. I never had something as poetic as you do." - He says, a little sad at this fact. - "If I didn't do football, I'd probably be getting ready to go to college, have a family, something like that. It feels mediocre. I like the perspective of being the best at something, even if it's egotistical."

"I think there's beauty in that. I like what I do, but I can't say I don't love the fact that I'm world champion." - y/n says and there's a deep understanding between them.

During dinner there's laughter, jokes and easy understanding between two athletes that felt alone for too long. After dinner, Sae walks y/n to her hotel and they exchange contacts.

"Will I see you when you go back to Spain?" - He asks, hopeful.

"I think so. I train a lot, but I think you do too." - She smiles. - "So call me, will you, Itoshi?"

"Yeah." - He whispers and she kisses his cheek.

When she's back to her room, there's gossip and secrets whispered to her friends. That night, y/n Ortega's life was changed forever and she and Sae would go through a lot in the next years.

A/n: If anyone is wondering if this character is basically female Ilia Malinin, yes it is.

Chapters:

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 5

Chapter 4

Now, at 15 years old, she was older, 3 times junior world champion since she started competing at 13. She was also the only woman capable of landing quads besides the Russians. Her coach, a Russian named Alina Sokolov, was not a kind woman, by any means, but she knew how to take y/n to her best, and she appreciated that.

She knew Alina'a methods weren't exactly orthodox, her diet too strict, even y/n's water intake was timed. But could she complain when she was trained by the woman from age 8 and got the best results? Maybe it was grooming or maybe it was the perfect quad toe loop she landed, maybe it was the three and a half rotations she did before landing her triple axel that made y/n and Alina start thinking y/n could be the first person to ever land the quad axel.

The truth was that y/n Ortega was a perfectionist. She wasn't going to run Ortega Enterprises like her brother, but she was going to make history. That was the reason she never told anyone about Alina and that was the reason Alina made sure to never push y/n to the point where anyone would notice what was happening.

But her father did notice, he noticed how his daughter was starting to loose weight, and how her coach seemed to be the only person she relied on lately. And as much as he supported her love for figure skating, paying immense amounts for her coaching and outfits, he loved his daughter more. So he knew he had to get her out of her coaches reach, if only for a while.

That's how y/n ends up in Japan, forced to take one week off from her training to sightsee in Japan and watch the U20 match of Japan's team against her father's new business venture: Blue Lock. The bright side was that her father allowed her to take two friends, payed expenses.

And as much as y/n was an athlete, she was an heiress. Travels in private jets, her father's black card and her two best friends, Sofia and Geovana, seemed like a good deal for a while off. What she did not expect was the boy with magenta hair and teal eyes, who would change her life.

Bucky gets to y/n's desk in the morning holding a cocoa cup, as always when they're together at the Triskelion, and sees her looking at a file: Alex Brown, Tennessee, 25 years.

"So you got your first TO assignment?" - y/n raises her eyes to him, noticing he's wearing a tight black shirt and cargo pants. She thinks he looks hot today.

"Yep." - She pops the p, not paying him much mind yet. She was never a morning person. - "And you?"

"Same. Mine is Michael Miller, Texas, 30. A bit old for a recruit, but we'll see where it goes." - He pauses for a while. - "You think that'll stop us from going into action? I don't think I'm a good role model at this point..." - Bucky trails off and y/n smiles, an idea popping to mind.

"Oh, they're supposed to tag along everything we do, like puppies. But I've got an idea if you're insecure..." - y/n says, finally turning to look at James. She lets go of the file and he sees her mischievous smile.

"I don't know, my back still hurts from your last 'idea'..." - Bucky trails off, remembering the time y/n dared him to try the 8 hardest kamasutra positions last week. He managed, but his back would never be the same.

"C'mon grandpa, afraid of a little challenge?" - She smirks, too much a Stark for her own good. And Bucky loved her challenge.

"Shoot it then, Stark!" - Bucky smirks back, sealing his own faith.

"We bet, whose recruit does better in the final tests..." - Her eyes challenge him.

"Deal!" - He reaches his hand for her and she holds it.

"It's sealed then, Sargent." - He pushes her by her hand, his other arm going to her desk, trapping her. Y/n has an office at Shield, with a pretty sign that said "Y/n Stark - Supervisory Special Agent", so maybe it wasn't that risky to do that here. Bucky looks into her eyes, sensing her desire, but also her fear of getting caught... it turns him on. When he's about to kiss her, he listens to footsteps close to the door.

"Meet me alone later, same spot as always." - He whispers in her ear before stepping away, referring to the abandoned supply closet they made almost home to their frequent encounters at Shield this last year.

"Good, you two are here. Come meet your recruits." - Maria Hill shows up at Y/n's door. Y/n gets up and they follow her. - "Congratulations on your first Training Officer assignment, I hope you both know what this entails." - Maria says seriously.

"Yes. Natasha was one of my TOs and she's my best friend today. A good TO can make or tank your future." - Y/n says, putting on her business face. She always took shield very seriously, specially now, with 10 years of agency behind her back.

"Good. Fury and I have faith in both of your capabilities." - Maria says, pointing at the door. Alex and Michael wait behind it.

The first thing Bucky notices is how y/n looks so much younger than them, at only 23 years old and having seen her skin care routine, she looks like a baby compared to the 25 and 30 year old in front of him. Alex was assigned to y/n because he was younger and fresher, but now it doesn't seem like it matters, though y/n notices he trembles slightly in her gaze. Michael, on the other hand, looks like a legacy, carrying himself with confidence and poise.

"Brown, this is Supervisory Special Agent y/n Stark, your TO. And Miller, this is Sargent Bucky Barnes, your TO." - Maria says. - "I'll leave you to your training." - She leaves through the door.

"Oh, can we exchange? I'd like the eye candy as training officer!" - Michael Smirks.

Y/n smiles, but Bucky sees it's not the smile reserved to him when he says something funny, or the mischievous smile when she's plotting something. It's the one reserved to enemies in battle. Bucky sighs, realizing he's going to loose this bet, because y/n Stark walks straight to Michael Miller and punches him in the nose without even blinking.

"Let's go, boot!" - She raises her hand, signaling her rookie to follow over. And he does, trembling.

Bucky picks up a tissue from his pocket and handles it to his rookie. - "Rule number one of Shield, recruit. Don't mess with y/n Stark..."

"Yeah, she can pack a mean punch..." - Michael says, sniffing.

"She also has the power to make sure you get assigned to Alaska for the rest of your career, so really, I'd try to at least hide the Texas sexism." - Michael grunts.

At the end of the day, Bucky walks out with y/n, hand in hand. - "How has it been with Texas? His nose holding up?" - y/n asks, not really sorry for what she did.

"He's fine. I taught him rule number one of shield." - Bucky says, sighing at his rookie's dumbness.

"Don't fuck with Romanoff?"

"Don't fuck with y/n Stark. If he's dumb enough to fuck with Natasha, he's better off out of Shield." - Bucky says and y/n smirks.

"Does that mean I won today?" - She says.

"Your recruit was trembling in fear, I don't think so..." - Bucky turns to look at her, smiling.

"Damm it. Same time next week?" - She taunts.

"Yeah yeah. Now come on, we've got unfinished business..." - Bucky smiles, rushing y/n to the car.

A few days later, y/n and Bucky are called to secure an 084, the first field mission of their rookies. They dress in silence at the locker room, y/n nervous, scared of putting her recruit in danger.

At the quinjet, y/n starts the briefing. - "Boots, who can tell me what an 084 is?" - She asks, testing them.

"An object of unknown origin. It refers to alien or highly dangerous artifacts." - Alex says. Y/n looks at Bucky, point to her.

"And what are we supposed to do when we encounter one?" - She asks again.

"We secure, catalog and slingshot it if necessary." - Michael says. Bucky looks at y/n, point to him.

"Good. We don't know what we're walking into and you two are from operations, so keep your weapons close, but don't shoot without our order." - Bucky says, loading his gun.

"ETA 10 minutes." - The pilot says.

"Strap on, guys." - Y/n tells them, sitting next to Bucky, eyes to the front. They were always a well oiled machine in the field.

The 084 was already being watched by FBI agents and contained in a small tent when they arrived. Y/n and Bucky flashed their Shield badges to pass through the barriers, the picture of professionals.

"Good afternoon, Agent Mendonza. How's the perimeter?" - Y/n talks to the agent, familiar through other missions. Alex observes the interaction, surprised with how his TO handles everything with calmness.

In the last week, y/n had run drills with Alex and he had learned that despite her young age, she knew a lot about the field. Y/n Stark did not talk about what she didn't know and she didn't act without information. He had learned to heed her advice and most importantly, that she was someone that would listen to others too.

Michael, on the other hand, did not know any of these things. In spite of Bucky's advice, he still thought y/n was too young, too fresh. He had come from four years of police work, where she would still be a rookie. How could she already be a supervisor? Talk to a FBI supervisor toe to toe?

"The object was found by a local yesterday at night. He touched it and it emitted a blue light, it looks like a box. We secured the perimeter, doesn't look like anyone knows about it yet. We still don't know what the object does, though, that's why we called you guys." - Mendonza speaks

"Alright, we'll secure it and get it back to Shield. Thanks for the call, Mendonza!" - Bucky tells Mendonza and the agent nods.

At the tent, the 084 looks indeed like a cube shaped box. It has indentations on the side and a hole on the top, where y/n supposes the blue light is emitted from. She crouches and Bucky hands her his backpack.

"Can we touch it?" - Alex asks, eyes glistening.

"That depends... an 084 is very tricky..." - y/n says as she removes her scanner drones from Bucky's backpack. - "We don't know where it's from or what it can do. Maybe it can melt your hand, turn you blue, explode you..."

"Or give your powers... if you're lucky..." - Bucky completes, turning on the last drone. They start scanning the object and y/n gets up, monitoring them on her tablet.

"Oh..." - Alex says...

"Never touch an 084 if you don't know the origin. And always keep perimeter secure. Could you and Miller stay at the entrance? If FBI missed anything we're fucked..." - y/n says, only looking up to Alex at the last part. He nods, already obeying the order.

"Why am I being punished? I didn't make dumb questions..." - Miller questions.

"It's not a punishment, it's your assignment for the mission, agent. Given by your superior." - Bucky glares at his rookie. Michael sighs, but goes anyways.

Bucky and y/n continue working in silence, they finish the scanning and secure the object in a isolated case. They fail to see, however, the moment Michael Miller decides y/n's orders are useless because the FBI is already watching the perimeter, so he goes out to smoke a cigarette.

The FBI also failed to monitor on the radio a group of merchants for alien itens. Alex, however, managed to spot the breach on the perimeter and ran inside the tent.

"The perimeter's been breached. I don't know how much time we have, did you guys secure the object?" - He whispers to y/n and Bucky.

"Brown? Where is Miller?" - Bucky asks, already sensing his rookie fucked up.

"I don't k..." - Is what Alex starts to say when he gets shot in the stomach.

One of the mercenaries got to the tent. Bucky made a jump for him, while y/n dragged her boot behind a box, making sure he's supported.

"Are you alright?" - She presses his stomach.

"I'll live... I think? Think we'll get out of here?" - He says weakly, blood getting out of his mouth.

"We will, it's just a few mercenaries... keep pressure, alright? I'll be right back!"

And Alex keeps pressure as best as he can with his hands. He hears the mercenaries screams, hears Bucky's mechanical arm whirl. And at some point, he hears his TO Come back, with Bucky and Michael.

He feels himself be carried away by Bucky Barnes and lets himself go. Y/n feels nervous the whole way back, Bucky holds her hand, a gesture that doesn't go unnoticed by Michael.

When Alex Brown goes out to surgery, Bucky Barnes is debriefing Michael Miller. He's planning on giving him the biggest speech of his life, but he doesn't have to when y/n Stark barges in the room. She has all the might only a stark has, all the right only a level 10 supervisory agent has and all the rage only an agent who had her orders disrespected and had someone else's life pay the price for it has.

"Y/n..." - Bucky says, tone serious. In reality, he doesn't want to stop her, only wants to deal with it himself. She sees the way Miller has his head in his hands.

"Don't..." - y/n says, to both Bucky and Miller. - "You just disrespected my direct order and went ou to smoke during an active assignment. All that because you think I'm not fit to give orders because I'm younger than you." - Her eyes glisten with rage.

"Let me tell you something, cowboy, you may have four years of police work, but I have 10 years in this agency. I don't know what they taught you in Texas, but I've been doing this shit since I was a pre-teen and in here we do things based on experience, not age. We don't do things based on what you think, because police, FBI, they're not us. You're being trained again because we do things differently. We watch the perimeter even if the FBI did it, because we know things they don't. You did it your way and it almost cost me my agent. Disrespect me again and not only will I have you out of shield, I'll make sure you never work for law enforcement again!" - She turns and leaves, always a direct person.

The silence is dense after that, Bucky lets Michael absorb y/n's words. He agreed with all of them.

"Can she really do that" - He asks finally.

"Yes, she's the Angel of Darkness." - Bucky says flatly, continuing the debrief as it finally dawns in Miller who y/n Stark really is. He heard stories, but didn't think the young 20 something was her.

The next day, Bucky arrives at Shield in his motorcycle, parking in his level 7 spot. To his surprise, Michael parked besides him, also in a motorcycle.

"What are you doing here, recruit?" - Bucky asks, taking off his helmet.

"Oh, I decided to come in two wheels today. Figured this is the spot, right?" - He says.

"Recruit, how do you think parking works at Shield?" - Bucky lifts his eyebrow.

"Oh, who comes first?" - Miller says, suddenly insecure.

"It's per level. Why do you think the best spots are always empty?" - Bucky points at the level 10 spots, right in front of the door. As if on cue, y/n's car arrived, the black Lamborghini instantly catching attention.

"Wait, so there's a level 10 agent here today?" - Bucky laughs.

"There's always a level 10 agent here. You just don't realize..." - Bucky leans on his motorcycle, as he sees y/n parking, she always had difficulty with this.

"Who is he?" - Michael asks and Bucky chuckles as y/n finally exits the car, pausing to pick up something inside.

"It's a she. I told you, don't fuck with y/n Stark!" - Michael's face contort in realization and fear, beacuse he really pissed off a level 10 agent in his first month at Shield. - "Look, Miller, there's still time for you not to bounce this program. But you have to understand something. Yesterday you disobeyed the orders of one of the most capable agents here just because she's young and a woman, your colleague almost died because of it. If she was the one hurt, you wouldn't be talking to me, you'd be talking to the Winter Soldier." - Bucky lets the threat hang.

"So do yourself a favor and understand that Shield works because there's an order, there's level and hierarchy, no one is where they are if they are not competent. If you fail again, I will personally bounce you." - Bucky puts his sunglasses and starts to walk towards y/n, who just finished picking up her Birkin bag. - "And move your bike." - He smiles.

"Hi dear, had a good chat?" - y/n asks when Bucky gets close, his arms sneaking around her waist. It doesn't count as HR infraction if they're not inside the building yet, right?

"Just setting a record straight." - Bucky kisses y/n's cheek.

After the incident with the 084, y/n focused on Alex' hand to hand combat, so he could get in form faster. She also trained his shooting skills, but found out he was better as a stealth infiltrator. They trained his description skills and he learned new idioms. Alex Brown truly was an easy person to deal with, they had inside jokes, watched movies and he spent Thanksgiving with the Starks. After he graduated, they kept contact and saw themselves regularly, a friendship truly bloomed.

As for Michael, he started respecting y/n after Bucky put the fear of God in him. Maybe it was her level 10 status, maybe it was the fact that the Winter Soldier respected her, but Miller never once disrespected her again. He stayed in the dog house a while after that, getting shitty assignments and having to prove himself twice as much as Alex, even though he had history. But he did eventually, and became a good agent. When he became a TO he taught his rookie the first rule of Shield: never fuck with y/n Stark.

One day, when y/n and Bucky were together, bodies entangled after a tiring day, y/n had to ask.

"So, if your rookie fucked up and almost got mine killed, but got more points in shooting, while mine got more in hand to hand... who actually won the bet?" - Bucky actually rolls his eyes at her.

"Does it matter?" - He asks and she turns to face him.

"Of course it matters, it's honor! The sacred sanctity of bets!" - y/n says smiling.

"Sure... sure... What if we declare it a tie and I untie it in another way?" - Bucky says, an idea popping in his head.

"Go on..." - Y/n squints her eyes.

Bucky turns y/n to her back, getting on top of her and she screams, laughing. - "First one to tap out loses!" - He kisses her and she smiles.

A/n: It took me forever to update because of writers block, but it's here, hope you enjoy! And in case you're wondering, yeah this is inspired by chenford from The Rookie...

Every day there were council meetings, tastings for the banquet, not to mention meetings for the remodeling of the palace to accommodate Satoru's things. It was exhausting, but Satoru stayed true to his word and shared every single responsibility with me, even the boring ones.

"What do you think about this one, darling?" - Satoru is currently looking at the royal jewels, choosing his crown for the ceremony. He got his eyes on a silver one, adorned with dark blue stones.

"That's actually perfect, it was worn by my late great grandfather. It will look amazing on you." - I smile.

"What about yours? You'll sit by my side, right?"

"Yes, but I wanted something to match yours. I'm kinda nervous..." - I say, looking at the crowns for women.

Satoru puts his hands on my arms, comforting me. - "Everything will be okay. It doesn't have to be perfect, we just have to be together." - He gives me a small smile, ever the optimist.

I turn over, looking again at the numerous crowns, until I find another silver one. This one catch my eye for the light blue gems, similar to Satoru's eyes. It seems fitting.

"This one." - I grab the crown, showing to Satoru.

"It's perfect, dear. See? Everything will fall in place..." - He gives a kiss in my head and my thoughts quiet down a little, but my head is still spinning. I want everything to be perfect, all eyes are on us, and the Zen'in Clan will be looking too. Satoru is my anchor and my partner, this week he becomes as powerful as me. I need the ceremony to go well, from the crown to the banquet.

The week goes by in a flash of preparation and when I wake up the day of the crowning, surprisingly, I feel victorious. Two months ago I entered a room to sign a marriage deal, I never thought I'd wake up today by my husband's side, with his arms around me.

I trace his face with my fingers, his features are so much sharper than mine, even his hair is more characteristic. Sometimes I feel like my personality and my eyes are the only things that distinguish me from other people, and I always thought of myself as someone who loved sticking out, but Satoru was something else. He owned every room he walked into, he was born to be king, just never had the title until today.

"Who is the creep now?" - Satoru whispers, eyes closed and voice hoarse with sleep as he wakes up.

"Well, a woman can't admire her husband?" - I mimic his words, smiling back.

"Are you ready for today?" - He asks, but I feel his arms tightening around my back.

"Yes, but I'll miss you. We'll probably be apart until the ceremony. I got used to having you close. You're my lifeline in all of this, Satoru." - I say, taking his hair off his eyes. Many people will be here today, so he'll probably opt for his blindfold instead of the glasses today. It's the last I'll see his eyes in a while.

"I'll be with you every step of the way. Just think I'll be bored out of my head in preparation or look here..." - He kisses my ring finger, so carefully chosen by him. I smile, because he's right. He'll be with me every step of the way.

When he leaves for his room, my ladies in waiting get in, the show must go on.

"Are you ready, y/n?" - Shoko asks, the title irrelevant. Her and Nobara the closest I have to girlfriends here.

"Ready as I'll ever be. What do you girls have for me today?" - I ask, sitting in my vanity.

"The dress will be light blue with dark blue undertones beneath the skirt. We'll arrange your hair in a half up, half down updo, with a braid, fitting for the crown. Are you excited?" - Nobara asks, always the planner.

"Surprisingly so. Two months ago, I thought this would be duty only. A year ago, I thought Naoya would be taking this role and my life would be miserable..." - I trail off, they were there with me, nothing more needs to be said.

"We're happy too. But we need to talk about the one crowning Satoru. Are you sure it needs to be Lord Nanami? It seems... cruel..." - Nobara says, unsure.

"It has to be. There's been talk of an affair between us. This act seals his loyalty to Satoru and ends the chit chat. I know it's cruel and the last thing I want is to hurt Ken, but it needs to be done. The kingdom comes first." - I say, breathing hard. Shoko stops Nobara from continuing, knowing that Ken was always good to her. Shoko was always more logical, she understood what needed to be done and she would stand by me. Nobara would too, but she was more emotional, I hoped she could see my side later.

The day was a blur of greeting royal families and getting things ready for the banquet and coronation. When the time was getting close, I thought I would have some time to be alone finally, when I hear Ken's voice.

"Your Highness, may I talk to you privately?"

"Yes, sure. Come into my office." - I try not to let my frustration show, because truly, I am not mad at Kenny. I'm just sad because in the last week I had not a single moment alone, only thinking about the coronation.

"You may speak freely, Ken." - I say, closing the door to the office.

"Y/n, I must crown your new husband, really? When everyone here remembers our engagement two years ago!" - Kento looks at me, his eyes filled with hurt.

"You know what they also remember, Kenny? How we danced at my engagement ball!" - I try to keep my voice down. - "There's talk we're having an affair. Which would be fine if I were a man, but I'm a woman and this is the kind of talk that could tear me down. I need you to show loyalty to your new king, to me, Kenny!"

"And if I can't?" - He says, voice calm. He was always great at maintaining calm in dangerous moments.

"Then you'll be banned from court. You know I care for you, but I need to protect my reign." - I say, noticing I got closer to him.

"Don't ask me to deliver you to another man. I can't, y/n..." - He whispers.

"You have to, I was never yours, Kenny, you made your choice." - I'm impossibly close to him, my breath mingles with his and our noses almost touch. His blue eyes look into mine and his blond hair fall into his hair when he looks down at me.

"What if I told I'm different, that I regret two years ago?" - He whispers, and my heart races, thoughts muddled.

"Don't..." - I try to rationalize, but his mouth is already in mine and I answer all to eagerly. My hands go to his hair and my thoughts to the years we spent together. Kento Nanami will always be the boy I ran with in the gardens, the one who watched me read until I fell asleep and then carried me to bed, the one who made sure the library was stocked with books about flowers just because I told him I wanted to know more about them. A part of me was always going to gravitate towards him.

But another one starts to feel a pit in my stomach when the delicate patterns of my engagement ring tangle in Kenny's hair and I remember my husband, Satoru Gojo. Satoru Gojo, who gave me his name and his life. Satoru Gojo who cared for me when no one did, who saw me like not even Kenny did. Satoru Goju who told me he'd be with me every step of the way today.

"I can't, Kenny." - I say as I step back, feeling dirty and holding back tears.

"I'm sorry, did I force you?" - He says, worry in his eyes.

"No, you didn't. That's the problem. I love you and I can't love you." - I start to panic, turning my back to Ken.

"Y/n, it's alright. I'll put the crown on Satoru's head, even if it kills me, okay? We'll figure out the rest..." - He puts his hands on my arms and it doesn't soothe me, because I realize I'm still torn. I still want Satoru and Kento. God, I'm stupid.

"I have to go..." - I say, leaving the office.

I walk the corridors of the palace, not having a direction. I don't know how much longer it is for the ceremony, but I can't face Satoru right now.

I arrive at the library, a nook I built many years ago. The only person who knew about this place was Kenny, and he knew not to find me right now. I put my fists in my eyes, holding back tears.

I felt so stupid, trapped between my past and my present, so undignified for a queen. In the day of Satoru's coronation. Gods, I wanted to cry, but couldn't ruin my makeup. I stayed like that for I don't know for how long, trapped in my head, until someone brings me out of my stupor.

"Can I sit?" - It's Satoru.

"Satoru? How did you learn about this place?" - A knot forms on my throat, my eyes go to the ground.

"Kento told me when you vanished. Everyone is looking for you. Care to explain why your ex is the only one who knows where you are and why you're here?" - He looks me with the side of his eyes, Satoru always knows something is happening. And I'm a terrible liar to the people I care about.

"Satoru, I..." - I can't even finish my sentence, I start to cry. He sighs and puts a hand on my shoulder.

"It's alright, dear. Maybe I was foolish to think we could exist in a bubble." - The disappointment in his voice kills me inside. - "Right now, I need you to stop crying. The ceremony is about to start and we need to be a united front." - I cry more.

"I'm fucked up. I'm... sorry." - I really want things to be okay, to go back to this morning.

"Later, y/n. I still love you, if that's what you're worried about, but we can't solve this now." - He gently turns my head to him, cleaning my tears. There's pain in his eyes, a lot of pain. - "Let's go."

Satoru walks me to the ceremony and I force myself to look alright, shoulders straight, head high. When we walk the aisle together, he holds my hand, still there, because Satoru Gojo doesn't break his promises, but his eyes are void.

And when we do the vows to protect our country, I see Satoru's eyes to Kento when he puts the crown is his head. They're filled with rage, a rage I've never seen in my Satoru. A rage I've only ever heard people talk about The Strongest in battle.

During the banquet, I excuse myself early, no longer worried about optics, about perfection. If my marriage is broken, if my husband hates me, at least I won't be alone. So I go to the Nanami wing, entering without a warning, where I know Ken is waiting for me. He saw me leave, and when he turns to me, this time I'm the one who kisses him.

A/n: I'm so sorry to tear your hearts apart 😭😭😭

Whenever we're at court, all eyes are on us, expecting us to be perfect, act joyous beyond the threat of war, make heirs despite the fact we've only just married. Not to mention my wife's ex-fiancé who seems to always orbit us, expecting an opening to get in. I love my wife, and I know he cares about her, but I could do without him doubting my every step.

"Look, sweetheart, pink orchids!" - y/n smiles brightly, a common thing in the last week we've been here. I could look at her smile my whole life.

"They're beautiful, honey. Your favorite color, right?" - I say, smiling back. When I look at her, smiling and talking about flowers, it's easy to forget about everything else.

"You remembered!" - She smiles again. - "It's cliché, I know, liking pink and purple. But it's a beautiful color. What's yours, Toru?"

"Well, it's cliché too. Light blue like my eyes..."

"It's beautiful. You must love the fact that it's the collor of our house, I'm always wearing it now!" - She laughs and I grab her waist, kissing her nose.

"Guilty. But you are beautiful in every collor, darling." - She looks up at me, rising to her tip toes and kissing my mouth.

"We should head back for dinner." - She whispers, not really moving.

"We should." - I say, hands moving to her hips, face going to her neck, smelling her.

We stay like that for a little longer, enjoying each other before dinner. On the way back, she tells me facts about orchids, always surprising me with how many random things she knew. I smile softly at her the whole way back, and at dinner too.

At night, after I made her mine and she's smiling softly at me in a way I've only ever seen here, I draw small circles on her naked tight and wish things were always like this. Me and her, together everyday.

"What do you think is going to happen when we go back to court, Toru?" - She whispers, not wanting to break our bubble, but I knew she was just as scared as I was of going back next week. Of real life.

I take a deep breath - "Well, you made the itinerary. The only thing left is the coronation. Then I'm officially your king, you're stuck with me." - I smile, but it doesn't really reach my eyes. Y/n turns herself to lie on my chest, looking up into my eyes. I caress her back, knowing we're both nervous. There's a burden to our duty, one that only we understand, that I understood long before I agreed to being king. I wanted to be good to my people, but most of all, I wanted to be good to her, to the woman lying scared in my arms. No one saw her in court, I wanted her to be seen, if not by anyone, by me.

"We'll be together. I'll be by your side. Every council meeting, everything. Shared duties. You're not alone anymore, y/n. That's what happens when we're back!" - I say with a certainty I don't think I ever had with anyone. And when I look in her eyes, they're soft, her whole body relaxing.

"Thank you, Toru." - She kisses me, and she hasn't said she loves me yet, but I feel it. I feel it in her care, in the way she kisses me and in the way she wants me close.

In the morning, I wake up before her and watch how peaceful she is. Different from the posture she puts up in front of the world. I reach out, tracing the contour of her face with my fingers and she smiles, not yet opening her eyes.

"Can you stop being a creep?" - She opens her eyes, still smiling.

"Can't a man admire his wife?" - I say, happy with the tittle, something I never thought I'd feel.

"He can... during business hours!"

"She's scary during business hours." - I laugh, but remember how different she is when she's facing the court. Now she wears nothing, during the day she wears her crown, a huge dress and a posture that makes sure no one messes with her.

"No, I'm not!" - She laughs back.

"You are, but it's kinda hot." - I say, kissing her softly. The truth is that we are who we are to survive, wearing our titles like armor. But throughout the weeks we spent together, y/n and I became something else. All I knew my whole life was battle and meaningless affairs until her, until her laugh infected me and I couldn't think about anything but being with her. And if gossip at court was right, she was different with me too. Court was a funny thing, they saw their future king right there and still talked about their queen's ex. If they were right, y/n was different then, wore her hair down more, her dresses were shades of pink and purple. Before she carried the weight of a whole realm, before her stile had to reflect that.

They said she talked to everyone, the servants, her ladies in waiting, but not much to Kento. He liked to watch her, they read together, ate together, and sometimes slept together, but she never talked to him. The betrayal broke something in her, she started talking less, dressing differently, sent him away, and a year later, when her father passed away, she became queen, sealing her fate as someone untouchable to most. And yet here she was, smiling at me, joking, a side I don't think anyone but me saw these days. If it were up to me, she would have as many of these moments as I could give her.

"Toru?" - She says, climbing on top of me and pressing her chest on mine. She crosses her hands on the top of my chest, putting her chin on it, my hands finding purchase on her hips.

"Hm?" - I encourage her to continue, lazily.

"I want to be close to you..." - She says, still a bit shy when it comes to sex.

"I'm yours, darling." - I say, taking one of her hands and cradling her head, pulling her in a kiss. She moans and I savor the sound, the feeling of her hand in mine and the fact that she asked for me today.

Y/n starts rocking her hips lazily and I grunt in her mouth, getting hard at the feeling. I can feel she's already wet and that she wants to ride me, everything about it turns me on.

No words are needed when she looks into my eyes, taking my length into her hands and sinking into it. She moans and so do I, pressing my hands into her hips, leaving marks. She's ethereal, eyes still hazy with sleep, hair a little messy, chest heaving.

She starts to move and I close my eyes, savoring the feeling. I know today is about staying close, and as much as I want to turn y/n around and take the lead, I let her set the pace. It's about her and her needs, she needs to feel close, to know I'm here. Everytime we have sex, even if it's rough, she needs contact, reassurance, and today I want to show her I'm not going anywhere.

She moves slowly, gently, whimpering softly. I open my eyes and watch as her breasts bounce, squeezing the left one as my right hand starts to draw circles on her clit. She moans and I start to circle her aureola, making her squeeze my biceps in pleasure.

"I need... more, Toru." - She moans, eyes squeezed shut. I flip us over, picking up a relentless pace, groaning at the feeling of her.

"Like this?" - She doesn't answer, but I can feel her clench, getting close. I hold her hand again, knowing she likes closeness when she cums.

"Let go for me, I'm here." - I say, my pace getting sloppy and she opens her eyes. She moans, coming while looking at me. I come too as I look at her, moaning her name and shooting hot spurs of cum inside of her.

Afterwards, both of us are breathless, my forehead to hers.

"You feel like home. You always do..." - She whispers after a while, her dark blue eyes locked into my light ones. I can't help but smile at that, because she's my home too.

After a while, I carry her into the bath, sinking in behind her. I massage her shoulders, giving it a kiss. She smiles and lays her head on my shoulder.

During this week together on our honeymoon, contact has become such an essencial thing it's weird for me to think I didn't know her just two months ago. I started looking for y/n in every room I walk in, her presence like a beacon to me. Her touch inevitable, everytime she's close, my hands finding her waist, her own hand, my lips her cheek, like she's grounding me. I don't know what court will be like im a week, what I do know is that I will continue looking for y/n Gojo everywhere for the rest of my life.

"We should find a hobbie when we go back to court, so we spend more time together..." - She says quietly after a while.

"We spend a lot of time together, not that I'm complaining, though..." - I say, amusing her.

"Oh, I know. But court is demanding, we should do something for ourselves, besides having sex. Not that I don't like that..." - She smiles, rising from my shoulder and looking at me.

"And what's would we do?" - I hug her waist.

"Breed dogs? Or maybe swim?"

"Swim? Wouldn't you light up the whole pool?" - I poke at her.

"No! I'm in the water with you now, silly. I control electricity, I'm not electricity. Be serious!" - She play punchs me.

"Alright, alright! Dogs, them. Like corgis?"

"Nah, the English already laid claim on them. We should have wiener dogs!" - She says, and I can tell she's serious.

"Wait, you mean that?"

"Yes, they are the most incredible breed of dogs!"

"They're so silly! With their long bodies and small paws..." - I say, scrunching my nose.

"That's what makes them great! And there are a bunch of them. There are furry ones, the ones with short fur, I just love them." - She says, eyes glistening. And I realized that maybe this was more than just dogs for her. No one ever really gave y/n a dog or a hobbie that belonged to her, all she knew was battle and books, like myself.

"Alright, honey. We can have a bunch of wiener dogs. And swims. We can fill our days with whatever you want..." - I say to her, smiling again, an act all to common when we're together.

"Really?"

"Promise!"

She raises her pinky, looking at me and I laugh, intertwining my large finger with her small one. In a week, we'd be back at court, but it didn't really matter. I've come to the realization this week that y/n Gojo was mine, more than in name, she was mine in the way her body relaxed into me at night, and in the way she smiled when I walked into the room, meeting her halfway. If it were up to me and her ridiculous hobbies, she would have her dogs and we would have time together for the rest of our lifes, no matter what court threw at us.

A/n: This one is pure fluff, I wanted to give them a silly one for their honeymoon.

Today, a name comes to her mind and flutters on her phone screen: James, her James Bucky Barnes. She could call Natasha, if only she wasn't deployed in Greece. She could call Tony, if only wasn't past Morgan's bedtime and he had a early day at the Company tomorrow. Maybe she had an habit of isolating herself. Or maybe Bucky was one of the few people who went through the same things she did and came out just as fucked. The fact was that y/n Stark hovered towards James Bucky Barnes, so much that she hit the call button.

"Y/n?" - Bucky's voice comes after only two rings, rough with sleep.

"Hey, did I wake you up?" - Y/n toys with her sheets, nervous.

"Only a little, you know my sleep is terrible." - She laughs at that, it's soft.

"I decided to take your offer... to call you when I'm feeling alone" - She says, feeling small.

"Oh, everything okay?"

"I don't know, my sleep schedule has been fucked. And you know nights are hard for my anxiety, I guess I just needed someone to talk to..."

"You know I'm always here, doll..." - Bucky's voice is soft, a tone he only ever uses with y/n. - "What do you want to talk about?"

"Anything? What have you been doing lately?"

"C'mon, you mean to tell me the director of Shield doesn't know about my whereabouts? I'd be offended!"

"Well, I have to keep the mystery alive. Nick Fury's shoes are big ones to fill." - Bucky gets serious at the mention of their old boss.

"How has it been? Being the director?" - He asks, truly worried about y/n's mental health. She was always an overachiever, a perfectionist at heart, in every mission they did together. He could only imagine the pressure she was putting on herself as director.

"You know Fury was always training me to succeed him, everyone expected it. And still there are people who think I only got it because of my name or Fury. I've got 20 years in this agency and somehow is not enough. Sometimes I think the expectations are going to eat me alive..." - She says the last part softly, feeling the weight of it all. Y/n had always ran as fast as she could, and people still underestimated her, because of her gender, because of her name, her age. Sometimes she thought she would never be enough. But she still tried, even if it ate her alive, made her lonely or fucked up her sleep so hard it made her call her ex late at night just so she felt less alone at the top she fought so bad to reach.

"And yet Shield has been thriving under you. I knew Fury, I think he'd be proud of you, y/n."

"I hope so. I really try, he believed in me even when I didn't." - Nick Fury was not a kind person, but he believed in select people when they earned it. Y/n was one of those people, and Fury had done a lot for her, in her teenage years, her training, the death of her fiancé and the years afterwards. Y/n could only hope to continue his legacy, as he was a very important person to her.

"Can I ask you something?" - Bucky asks, nervously.

"Sure, anything..."

"Why did you defend me at my pardon audience? You didn't even look at me..."

"I..." - y/n looked for the right words, her feeling for James were always complicated after the Civil War. - "You didn't deserve to get blamed for the crimes of the Winter Soldier, even if I was angry with James Barnes for lying to me. Those are two separate things. You were never the Winter Soldier, James." - She says the last sentence very softly, hoping he believes her.

"You know, that is... insanely mature... And thank you. I'm sorry for everything I caused you." - Bucky smiles at the other end of the line.

"I can be mature, I've got a grown-up job now." - She smiles too. - "And I'm sorry too."

"Feeling sleepy?"

"Not much. I do want something sweet, however..."

"Y/n, it's three in the morning!" - Bucky laughs, remembering y/n's big sweet tooth.

"You know I love sweet things. Tell me something new about you, something I'd never know...." - She whispers, like a secret.

"I got a cat... Alpine." - Bucky tells, remembering the white cat in his living room.

"Really? You always did look like a cat person. My dogs loved you, though..." - y/n says, surprised.

"Still got them? I remember Almond was quite old..."

"She passed away, but I got her pup, Berry. Added a corgi too..." - y/n smiles through the call, petting her dogs in the bed.

"I always thought you were going to have a zoo, you know? With how much you love animals." - Bucky laughs. - "My condolences on Almond, though, I know she was with you for a long time."

Y/n hums in the line and they stay quiet for a while, until she breaks the silence. - "You know I just remembered the most random thing?"

"What did you remember?" - Bucky asks, amused.

"I was remembering that time we became TOs at Shield, made bets at whose recruit would record better scores and everything." - y/n laughs.

"For the record, mine was a point better in shooting." - Bucky laughs.

"He also made the mistake of underestimating me and took a punch in the mouth. Mine also got more points in hand-to-hand combat." - y/n shoots back.

"Jesus, we had fun, didn't we?" - Bucky laughs.

"I really loved working at Shield with you, James. You were my only partner there." - y/n says softly.

"So did I. And I love you, still do, I don't think it's possible for me to ever stop loving you." - He says and y/n simmers with the revelation, thinking about her own mixed feelings. She loves her James, but the betrayal still hurt her. - "I'm happy we're talking again, if only on probation."

"So am I." - y/n says, voice small in the night. A lot had happened since the Civil War and y/n realized that the rage she holded on to wasnt the same sinxe they fought together against Thanos, since her brother came back and she felt Bucky's hand in her shoulder when he saw her in pain. It was the only thing grounding her.

Y/n remembered when they lost against Thanos, when they lost Bucky and Tony was lost in space. She thought she lost everything, giving herself to her depression and getting incredibly thin. Pepper left her meals she didn't eat and Steve tried to talk to her, but she couldn't talk, couldn't breath. Because her brother was gone, her sister in law pregnant, and the love of her life was gone while they weren't speaking. She felt hollow.

And then Tony came back, skinny and traumatized. It was the first time she got out of bed in weeks. Tony cared for her, cared for Pepper. Always the caretaker, even at his worst, even hollow. He was better than y/n at this.

Then two years went by, y/n learned to exist in a world without James. And when they brought him back she was still too stubborn to talk to him. At the battle memorial held at Tony's cabin, she didn't say anything, quietly mourning their fallen friends. How do you go back to the person that broke you and was the reason you fought again? She was happy he was back, alive, but maybe it was better they went their separate ways...

"James?" - She says after a while, realizing how much she missed the quiet understanding of James Barnes. Reminiscing on the many times she wanted to call him, just to know if he missed her just as much as she did him, just to know if he was alright or simply to tell him a pop culture joke he wouldn't understand, but would try to Google.

"Hm?" - Bucky wills her to continue.

"Can you stay with me until I sleep? Just so I don't feel so alone?"

"Of course, doll. I'd do anything for you." - And Bucky means what he says, because he loves y/n Stark like he loved no one else before, because the look of hurt in her eyes hunt him like nothing else and because he knew that she deserved everything that was good and kind in this world. Bucky decided that she got too much pain already and if it were up to him, y/n Stark was only going to get good things from now on.

So Bucky stayed with her on the line, their breathing evening out. For Bucky it was a comforting sound, for y/n it was a steady feeling. The only steady thing she ever had in her life was her brother, and he had a whole new family now, one she struggled to be a part of, she was scared to bring her chaos to her brother's normal life. But James got her, he offered her confort, he offered her love.

She didn't know if she was ready to accept that yet, to forgive the lie. But as she listens to his comforting breath, sleep finally taking her in, she knows that maybe she's ready to begin anew. Because James Buchanan Barnes may be the guy that lied to her, but he was also the guy that left hot cocoa every day on her desk, the one that made stupid bets to make theirs assignments at shield more fun and ultimately, she thinks, the guy she kept track all of these years because she couldn't bear the thought of being without him. The truth was that, just as James Bucky Barnes, y/n Stark was completely and undeniably in love with him.

A/n: It's yours 💜

She sets my veil in my hair.

"Are you alright, your highness?"

"Yes, thank you, Lady Amanai." - I give her a small smile, hiding how truly nervous I am. She opens her mouth and then closes, looking like she wants to say more, but stays quiet.

"You can speak freely if you want, Lady Amanai." - I try to encourage her.

"Are you happy, your highness? I know arranged marriages are not made out of love. And I'm sorry for indulging in gossiping, but there's talk that you and Lord Gojo are truly together. I guess I just wonder a little, because I've been engaged for two years already and Lord Nanami makes no move to marry me..." - She says everything shyly, voice low, like saying it hurts her. My face softens and I realize how much my actions hurt her, in sending Kento away and asking my father to marry him off, I sealed this girl's fate to a loveless marriage.

"I'm sorry." - I say, she doesn't know it's my fault she is in this situation, but I still want to say it. - "Arranged marriages are complicated, I don't know if I'm in love with Satoru, but I know he's a good man who will take care of me. I hope Lord Nanami does the same to you. Love can bloom from arranged marriages, you know? If both people are willing."

"I don't know if Lord Nanami is... I'm sorry for what I'm about to say, Your Highness, but he never got over your former engagement. That's why he never married me." - She looks down while saying this and I feel bad, like I'm keeping something that's not mine.

"Oh... Riko, look, Kento and I, we'll never be together for so many reasons. Do you want me to talk to him? Ask him to marry you when I get back from my honeymoon?" - I use her first name, because I want her to understand how sincere I am. Maybe I could release her from her marriage contract, but I knew that would look bad for her, for Kento, for my dad and for me. Besides, I was never someone who went back on her word, even when it killed me.

"That's okay, your highness, I managed to understand him over the years. He needs space. Just please, let me have him..." - She says with pain in her eyes. I remember every single good time I had with Kenny, the times we ran from stupid balls, the kisses, the dinners, the time he asked me to marry him and I start to feel an anxiety crisis begin. I try to compose myself, knowing I can not display weakness in front of Riko Amanai.

"Could you leave me alone for a moment, please?" - I say, not caring about politeness.

When she leaves I let it all out, the tears and the silent scream. The truth was that Kento Nanami hurt me and I still loved him. The second truth was that today I was getting married to save my reign, and my future husband was an incredible, amazing, caring man. But staying with him meant letting Kenny go forever, it meant letting my youth die, and I didn't know if I was ready for that. But I remembered how Satoru touched me, careful and cautious, how he understood my burdens. Him and I were cut from the same cloth, something I never felt with Kenny. With Satoru, I felt like I could breathe, like I wasn't alone anymore.

And yet the weight of it all was immense, and ultimately I felt alone in this day. If my father was still alive I could talk to him, say what I was feeling and he would tell me something wise. But he was dead and I missed him so much. I always dreamed he would take me to the altar and today I was walking in alone. The tears were free falling now, the knot in my throat big, I was debating how to run from the palace when I heard a knock on the door.

"Honey, your ladies said you were in here alone for a while. Do you need anything?" - It was Satoru's voice, I could almost laugh at how he always found me when I was panicking, if I was not... you know, panicking.

I stay quiet and he knocks again. - "y/n, talk to me, please. Are you thinking about running?" - He jokes.

"You're not supposed to see me before the wedding..." - I said weakly, getting up and sitting by the door.

"Well, by the sound of your voice, it looks like you need me. Let me in, please?"

"I'm not very pretty right now, I'd like to preserve your fantasy of me." - I put my hand in the door, tears running down my face.

"Sweetie, please, let me in. I can hear you crying and it's killing me. You're not alone, okay?"

I realize then that ever since I met Satoru, I've been less alone. There are burdens that are mine and mine alone, but he's doing a great job at showing up. He's always there, he says he loves me and he acts like it. It's fair to give him a chance, so I open the door.

Satoru takes in my state, my make up must be ruined and I'm pretty sure I look like shit. - "Oh, honey..." - He says and hugs me, as he closes the door.

"I'm going to get your shirt dirty..."

"I don't care. I only care about you!" - He holds me tighter.

"There's too much happening, he was supposed to be here, he was supposed to take me to the altar! I'm so alone, Satoru..."

"Hey hey, breathe. I'm here. Let's go, in and out." - I follow his lead and start to calm down, softening in his arms.

"I know I'm not your father, but I'll be with you every step of the way. You're not alone, y/n, not anymore!" - He cradles my head and I look in his eyes, his sunglasses are in his hair, so I can look in his eyes. I noticed it's something he often does with me.

I inhale his scent, calming myself. Satoru is a grounding presence, one I've come to rely on l realize. There's a calmness in his voice, a precision in his actions, in the way he holds me. I need him today, maybe I'll need him for the rest of my life. And perhaps I couldn't tell him I stated panicking because I started remembering two years ago, the feelings and the betrayal of Kento, but I could always ground myself in him. Satoru would always be mine, he would always be there, and I wanted to enjoy that, enjoy him and maybe, just maybe, be fully his.

"Why do you always take off your blindfold and sunglasses when we're alone?" - I ask after I manage to calm myself.

"I don't know, I usually wear them to focus my six eyes, everything feels too much without it. With you, I feel like I'm safe, so I don't need them. I just feel you."

I kiss him. - "I'm glad I'm marrying you, Satoru, truly. Thank you for being here with me..."

"I'll always be here for you. However, for us to be married, we have to fix your makeup and get out there. So, how are you feeling now?"

"Better. A bit ugly, very nervous. Did you know they watch us have sex?" - I start spiraling again.

"Okay, breath again. One step at a time, I'll be by your side every step of the way."

"You can't possibly be by my side the whole wedding, Satoru!" - I laugh.

"Oh, watch me! I'm the strongest and no one will be able to tear me apart from my wife." - I laugh at him, but feel safe.

He stays true to his word and holds my hand while the servants come in to fix my make up, smiling reassuringly trough the mirror. He doesn't let go while we're led to the hall, kissing me goodbye before entering the aisle.

"I'll see you on the other side. You're the most beautiful bride I've ever seen." - He whispers before entering, I smile and touch my lips.

Shoko and Nobara show up, my bridesmaids, they give me a courtesy and smile, entering shortly after. Satoru's parents are already there, which means I'm next, I take a deep breath and get ready.

When my song starts to play, I enter slowly, this is it. My vision blurs, but I locate Satoru at the front of the altar, he's looking at me and nodding reassuringly. As it so often happens with Satoru, I understand what he's saying: it's going to be okay. I can hear his voice in my head as I breathe deep and get to the altar. He holds my hand and helps me up, staying truthful to his word of not leaving me alone.

"You okay?" - He whispers.

"With you? Always." - He smiles at that.

"You're gorgeous!" - I smile shyly.

The ceremony starts and time stops to me, all I can see is Satoru. His hands on mine and his eyes on me, he smiles softly at me, I notice there's a little crinkle in his eyes when he smiled behind the glasses. The officiant asks for Satorus vows and when he speaks, his eyes never leave mine.

"Y/n Inoue, now Y/n Gojo, when I first saw you, I knew you were special. You are amazing and I promise to never leave your side, to always take care of you, even if you don't need it. I promise to protect you from anyone and anything that tries to hurt you, to stand by you in your reign and your life. To love you and to care for you. I promise to obey you as my queen and to be deserving of the title of your king. I will love you until the day I die, I love the queen that you are, how you care for your people and how you would do anything for them, including marrying an idiot like me. But most of all, I love you, y/n, the woman that eats macaroons in the morning and drinks tea before bed, the only person that I know with a bigger sweet tooth than mine. I have waited to meet you all these years and would wait a thousand more if it meant I could love you. It is an honor for the Strongest to be your husband."

My eyes soften for him, for everything he says and everything I feel he doesn't say. I know that just like me, he's thinking about the mornings and the nights we spend together, the pillow talks about books we like, the hugs and everything that's too intimate to say in a room full of court people. Satoru Gojo loves me, he truly does love me, and my heart feels full in this moment. When it's my turn to say my vows, I look in the crowd for Kento, because I know it's going to hurt him. It's going to hurt him for today I choose to be Satoru's wife wholeheartedly, maybe I was always his, maybe my whole life was a crash course to him, but when I turn to look at him again and see his love, I realize that my destiny was to be with him.

"Satoru, thank you for choosing me. For always being by my side and for facing the whole world for me. You are everything I've ever wanted and I feel like my entire life was leading me to you. I promise to never leave your side too, and to care for you, even if it is just making sure you don't forget your blindfold in the morning or getting you cake. I will be your best friend and will always laugh the loudest at your jokes, I'll be your advocate, your partner and most of all, I'll be here, present, every day. Because you're the most important person to me. In so little time you became so much to me. Thank you, forever and always, my husband."

I realize I'm calm, for the first time today, speaking from heart, i didnt say I loved him, because I couldn't yet, not when I felt conflicted about Kenny the same day. But I knew Satoru and I were leading towards each other, maybe since he saved my dad, maybe longe before, it was clear to me through our easy communication, how much I trusted him and how easily I knew I was falling for him. Satoru is crying, the emotions too much for him. The wedding officiant continues the ceremony.

"And do you, Satoru Goju, take y/n Inoue as your lawful wedded wife? To love and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do you apart?"

"I do." - Satoru says smiling and I put his ring in his hand.

"And do you, y/n Inoue, to be y/n Gojo, take Satoru Gojo as your lawful wedded husband? To love and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do you apart?"

"I do." - I say, feeling light as Satoru puts the ring on my finger. A beautiful rosé engagement ring with a pink diamond, an intricate patern of leaves adorning the ring along with white diamonds.

"You may kiss the bride." - The officiant says and Satoru grabs my waist, turning me and kissing me deeply, my veil flowing behind me.

"I finally get to do this in front of everyone, Lady Gojo." - Satoru says smugly.

"Shut up, you incessant flirt!" - Satoru's hands are in my hips and the moment feels incredibly intimate, I almost feel bad we have to go to the wedding reception.

Satoru leads me to the other room, where the reception will be held and when we're announced, he stays true to his word of staying by my side every step of the way. He holds my hand while we dance, and while we cut the cake, feeding me the first bite and kissing my cheek. He only lets go while we eat, sitting side by side and smiling to each other.

"The wedding is beautiful, darling." - He says when we're done, sitting a little before going to the crowd again.

"Thank you. And thank you for getting the lilies, Lady Utahime told me you got the supplier."

"You told me they were your favorites, I wanted the wedding to be perfect for you. The ceremony wasn't as important to me as the act of marrying, but I know woman care for these things."

"I always dreamt of a wedding, you know? You made it perfect. With the vows, the care. I don't think I'd be able to do it today if it wasn't you. I mean it." - He smiles and kisses me.

"I wouldn't have done for anyone else, Lady Gojo."

"I think I'm warming up to the title..." - I smile, going up for another kiss when we're interrupted.

"Sorry to interrupt you two, but Lord Gojo wants to speak to you, Satoru. Something about the future of the clan now that you're king." - It's Suguru, Satoru's best friend. He's commanding my army now, I called him for Satoru's sake, not wanting him to be alone here.

"Really? At my wedding? It's obvious the heir of the clan will be my second child, my father knows that. And it's not like I'm dying anytime soon..." - Satoru squeezes my hand, annoyed.

"You know how he is, always business..." - Suguru says, rolling his eyes.

Satoru opens his mouth, but I stop him. - "Go, it's alright." - I say, looking at him reassuringly.

"But I promised you..."

"And you're not breaking it. I'm safe, you made sure of it. I'll be here when you're done, 'kay?" - His eyes soften looking at me, he kisses my forehead.

"Don't go anywhere!" - He says and goes with Suguru, looking back at me one last time.

I sight and grab a glass of wine from a waiter, taking a while to gather my thoughts. So much has happened today and in a couple of hours I will have to have sex in front of everyone to prove my marriage was consummated. To say I was nervous was an understatement.

"May I sit here?" - I hear Kento's voice by my side, taking me out of my stupor.

"Sure, it's free." - I give him a small smile.

"Where's your husband, your highness?" - He says, and I feel the tone of amusement. He is testing if me and Satoru are really a thing.

"He is talking to his father. I stayed back. Where's your fiancée, Lord Nanami?"

"Ouch." - He says and I look him from the side of my eyes, the conversation with Riko really made me think things.

"You know, your vows were really beautiful, but I saw you looking at me before you made them, y/n." - He says, knowing me too well.

I turn to look at him. - "Look, I may like you, Kenny, for our history, but that doesn't erase what you did. And it doesn't erase this marriage and your engagement. I'm trying with Satoru and he's a good person, he cares for me, loves me, and I think I'm starting to care for him too. My vows were real. You should try with Lady Amanai too, she's a good person. She begged me today to let you go, to leave you to her. It's been two years and you haven't married her, how do you think this looks for her? And for me that made the match?" - My eyes start to blur, an effect all to common when it comes to Ken. I close them and take a deep breath, steading myself, no one can see me cry for Kento Nanami, not at my wedding.

"I'm sorry, okay? I really mean it. I can't erase what happened two years ago, but I do love you, y/n." - He says softly.

"Our time has passed, Ken. If you love me, marry Lady Amanai. Be my friend and nothing more, because a part of me still loves you, but I don't think I will ever forgive you." - I say in a low voice.

"That's why you chose Satoru Goju?"

"No, I chose Satoru Goju because he threatened to behead his father for me while barely knowing me while you sat in a room with yours committing treason. I would still choose him to be my king every day, Ken." - I raise my head at that, eyes fierce, I would defend Satoru everyday.

Before Kenny can answer I feel Satoru's presence behind me, he puts a hand in my shoulder, reassuringly, but also possessively.

"Everything alright here?" - He asks.

"Yes, I was just leaving. I gotta find my fiancée." - Kento gets up, leaving. His face is hurt, and if I'm honest, so am I. But when Satoru sits by my side again, hands on my waist, everything seems to vanish.

"What did he want?" - He says, one eyebrow rising.

"Same old, same old. Don't worry, nothing happened..." - I look Satoru in his eyes, trying to reassure him.

"You still like him. I know a part of your was nervous today because of him..." - He says in a low voice.

"Maybe, but I still care about you. My vows were real and I told him that. I told him if he wanted to be close to me, he had to be my friend and just that, and he had to marry his fiancée."

"Really?" - He looked surprised.

"Of course, you're important to me, Satoru. I may not know how to deal with feelings and I'm sorry that because of that I don't know how I feel about you yet, but I know that you're important to me. I know that you make me feel safe, that you feel like home, that for the first time in forever I feel that I'm not alone. I feel like I'm so intrinsically intertwined with you that I can't even see where I was before you." - His confused eyes soften and he kisses me, a scandal for the courts, really, but none of us cares.

"Let's get out of here."

"I'm kinda nervous about that part..."

"I'll be with you, don't worry!"

He takes my hand and leads me to our quarters, I start to shake in fear. I just started having sex and now people will watch me, it feels... dirty.

The servants take me off my dress and put me in a robe, while Satoru is being helped on the other side of the room. When it's all done, I meet him in my room, he puts his hands in my cheeks, feeling me shaking. He kisses me, but I can't fully give myself in, feeling the eyes of all the people thought the lattice.

"No, this is wrong..." - Satoru whispers.

"Everyone out!" - He screams.

"But, your highness, it's tradition..." - One of the councilman say, shyly.

"Fuck tradition. I only care about my wife. If you want to know what will happen, stay outside, at the door, but no one will watch us have sex at our wedding night. Everyone out, you pervs!" - And everyone does leave, fearing the fury of their new king. I don't know if they are outside the door, but I don't care, I kiss Satoru with fervor this time.

"Thank you. I don't know if there will be consequences to this, but I don't care." - I say to him, crying as the anxiety leaves my body.

"I don't care about the consequences, whatever they are, I will bear them. I just care about you." - He says, cleaning my tears.

He kisses me, and this time I respond, standing on my tip toes and putting my hands on his white hair. Satoru wastes no time, putting one hand on my waist and using the other to pick me up from the ground, my legs going around his waist. Soon, my robe is discarded and I'm left in nothing but my underwear.

Satoru carefully drops me on the bed, adjusting the pillows. - "Confy?"

"Yeah, thank you." - I smile at him.

He discards his robe and puts his mouth on mine again, and he's everywhere. I can feel his static energy, his cursed energy and him. Everything is just so overwhelmingly good. When he starts kissing through my body it feels like everything stops.

He leaves marks everywhere, knowing no one will see, it turns him on, knowing I'm unequivocally his. And it turns me on how possessive he is.

When he gets to my core, he removes my underwear. - "Are you ready?"

"Yes, please..." - I answer shaking.

He dives in then, sucking my clit. I scream and he alternates, diving his tongue in my hole, flicking as far as it goes. When he joins in with two fingers, it all gets too much. The static, the cursed energy, the sensations, I close my eyes and my legs begin to move against my will, I moan Satoru's name when my orgasm tears through me, blinding and intense.

He rises from my legs and levels with me, his fingers working me through my orgasm. - "That's it, scream my name while you cum. You look so gorgeous, y/n."

I open my eyes, a little hazy, his pupils are darkened and his mouth is glistening with... well, me. He looks so hot. I put my hands in his hair and drag him to me so I can kiss him. It's messy and I can taste myself in his tongue, our tongues clash and he takes his fingers out of me to squeeze my breasts, making me moan.

I turn him over, putting myself on top. - "My turn!" - I say as I kiss his neck, leaving a mark he won't be able to hide with his robes. I go down, kissing his abs, his toned legs and finally arriving at his dick. He takes a deep breath as I take him in.

I can't fit it all in my mouth, so I use my hand as I bob my head in his dick, sucking him in. I close my eyes, enjoying the feeling, until I feel him tense.

"I'm gonna cum!" - Satory says, moaning, eyes closed.

"Cum in my mouth!" - I say to him, eyes glassy as I take him in again. A couple of seconds later he comes, moaning loudly and shooting hot spurs of cum in my throat.

I rise, letting him see me swallow everything. He sits down and kisses me roughly, tasting himself in me.

"That was really hot, you know that?" - I look at him innocently and bite my lip. - "Fuck, you get me so hard, I want to fuck you so bad."

"What are you waiting for, husband?" - I whisper the title and kiss him, he grunts, getting hard again and turn me over, laying me down with my stomach on the bed, pillow bellow my belly.

"Are you ready? I'm not taking it slow today, I need you..." - He says, tip at my entrance already.

"Good! I want your all." - I moan and he bottoms out in one thrust, making me scream. The stretch is too much but so good, I can feel my static aligning with his and everything gives me pleasure.

Satoru starts to move, setting a relentless pace, he puts his front to my back, supporting himself in one arm and using the other to hold my ass. I'm moaning loudly, turning my head to look at him, he kisses me and then bites my shoulder. I clench around him and he slaps my ass, making me scream. Everything is too much, to great. Tears start rolling down my eyes and I feel Satoru cleaning them, slowing the pace a little.

"Keep... going... I like it... It's a lot... it's great!" - I say to him.

"You sure?" - He asks, ever careful.

"Yes!" - I scream when he hits a particularly good spot. Satoru picks up the pace again using his free hand to squeeze my breast and his mouth to kiss my neck. I moan loudly, spurring him on, making him go harder.

I feel my orgasm coming and so does my husband, he takes his hand and starts making circles on my clit. The orgarm tears through me like a tidal wave, making me go blank, all I can feel is Satoru, the way his dick pounds through me, his hand in my clit, his mouth sucking marks my body, his back against mine, warm and comforting through the harshness of it all. I want to disappear in him. I feel his pace become erratic and his cum shooting through me. I feel him fucking me through his orgasm, biting in my shoulder. And when he puts his hands on my side, not ready to pull out, my mind is still blank, my body is still getting spasms and I still need Satoru. Maybe it's the orgasm, but it feels like that need, thar yearn, is never going to stop.

When I finally get my bearings, I turn to Satoru, still on top of me.

"Hi..." - I whisper.

"Are you okay? You were gone for a minute..." - He says, putting my hair behind my ear.

"I'm perfect. Think I just had the most intense orgasm of my life." - I say, with a smirk.

"Oh..." - He smirks too and I laugh.

"Don't get too cocky." - I try to stop him.

"Honey, I'm the strongest. Cocky comes with the job, you know? That and being insanely hot!" - I roll my eyes.

"And here I was, going to ask you for cuddles. I think I'm going to leave the insanely hot strongest sleep alone in his room." - I say, not really meaning it.

"You know what, I'll shut up... But just for you." - He says, smirking still.

"Good!" - He pulls out and he cuddles me from behind, our legs entangled. Satoru starts to kiss my neck and I realize how safe this feels, how scared I am of loosing him. In so little time, Satoru Gojo has became so much to me.

"Satoru?"

"Hm?" - He mumbles as he continues to kiss me.

"Thank you for today. You made all of this bearable and you made sure this wedding was beautiful. I don't know how to thank you." - I turned to him.

"You already did. You make things real, you gave us a chance and that's a whole lot for me." - My eyes soften for him and I put my hand im his cheek.

"I'm scared of how much I need you. Ever since we met I don't feel alone anymore. Everything I say you understand, and even if you don't, you try. You protect me from threats I don't even see, like your father. You see when I'm nervous, like the announcement ball and today. Even when we have sex it's different, like we connect. it's scarily easy to open up to you. You scare me because you see me so much." - He puts a hand in my waist, drawing circles there.

"Are you sure you're not saying that because I just gave you the best orgasm of your life?" - He smiles.

"Satoru!" - I punch his shoulder.

"I'm joking. I'm not going anywhere, Lady Gojo. You're my wife now and I love you, I truly do, I'd burn everything for you. You don't have to be afraid. I don't like to talk about Nanami, but I'm not him, I promise I'm not." - My eyes soften.

"I know you're not. It pains me to say that, but you and I are very different than him and I." - I caress his face.

"How so?" - He traces his thumb on my back.

"He never stood up to his father for me, thinking he could juggle both, you did that, for me. He also didn't really understand the responsibilities I'd have as queen, the political games I had to play. I tried to explain to him, but he was always a better fighter. And we never really had sex, like I told you, but we did some things, and it was different than it was with you. It had care and love, sure, but today I felt our energy synchronize, I don't think I ever felt that with him. Not to mention the fact that you always seem to bizarrely know what I'm feeling and I always had to talk do Ken, explain everything." - It felt weird talking about my ex to my husband, but somehow freeing, like putting all my thoughts outside my head.

"I see. As much as it's weird being compared to your ex, it's comfortable knowing I'm the superior one." - He says, with a smirk.

"That's not what I said, you're insufferable!" - I roll my eyes.

He rolls me in bed, staying on top of me. - "And you're mine, Queen y/n Gojo!"

"That I am, King Satoru Goju, I was yours before I even met you and I will be yours for the rest of my life." - He smiles at me before sealing our lips in a kiss.

A/n: Hope you guys liked the wedding 💜

Y/n Stark on the other hand was really scared. It was her first mission back since the death of her fiancé, she could not fuck this up. She was finally coming to terms with what she had done and accepting the passing of Jonathan, her first love. She still felt guilty for moving on without him and struggled with her thoughts, but her therapist had said she was ready to go back to her life, recommending she went back to work, starting slowly. She could speak normally now and Nick thought this mission was a good start, just a surveillance undercover mission. Her and Bucky had to pretend to be married, monitor their neighbors and gather information until they were pulled back. No action, nothing very dangerous yet.

Y/n took a deep breath and got in the car, Bucky was driving them to Oklahoma. They were dropped off two hours from the house, everything there already stashed.

20 minutes in and y/n couldn't bear the silence, she was listening to music on her shield issued phone, a Stark model, but could feel Bucky's anger simmering.

"According to the briefing we'll be a couple. Isn't it funny? A grandpa and a babe is almost like a cliché. Try not to fall in love, will you, Barnes?" - y/n says to break the silence, smiling and bringing up her Stark charm. Bucky seems to dislike her more, rolling his eyes.

"Don't you ever take anything serious? This target could be smuggling serious weapons, powered with extremis serum!" - Bucky says, running a hand through his face.

"Oh, I do, but I also found that humor helps shakes things up. My therapist says it's a coping mechanism, I say it's a fun thing." - She says smiling, pulling her sunglasses through her hair.

"Right. 'Cause I got stuck with the nut job!" - Bucky says, regretting the words as soon as they leave his mouth.

"Says the Manchurian Candidate" - y/n says, not smiling anymore. She puts her headphones and sunglasses back, turning up the music and sinking in her seat. Bucky opens his mouth as if to say something, but choses not to.

They arrive at the location and Bucky unloads the car quietly, the bags are full of weapons, all the clothes are already in the house. Y/n takes in the house, a two story house, kitchen set in marble, she sees why Nick chose Bucky. They're supposed to be a wealthy couple, y/n is supposed to be a sugar baby. She sighs, those are going to be long weeks.

She goes to the safe, putting in her thumb and taking out a case, inside is the laptop that they're supposed to communicate with shield and people outside. She sends a message to Fury.

"Y/n: Arrived safely. Bucky is a geriatric asshole."

Then she sends another one to Tony.

"Y/n: I'm here. I'm safe. Talk to you when I can. Love you. <3"

She closes the laptop and decides to take it to her room, Bucky can ask her if he wants to use it. She paddles around the house, going up the stairs and finding a neat room with a double bed, there's a bunch of skimpy clothes in the closet. Definitely a sugar baby, y/n thinks, hiding the laptop behind a loose board in the closet. Luckily for her, the sugar baby Fury created for her also used a lot of skin care products and good shampoo. If she could live through Barnes maybe this wouldn't be so bad...

On the other side of the house, Bucky was busying himself with getting to know all the exits of the house, hiding the weapons, and and knowing every trick of it. He only found his room a while later, throwing himself on the bed, regretful of the words he had said to the young Stark girl, but to hard-headed to say anything.

Inside the house, the days go by quickly, the "couple" sets surveillance equipment in the neighborhood and manages to infiltrate the target house when they go out to the church. Bucky goes out every day to follow the target, Victor Vlievo, while y/n stays looking at surveillance footage for the house, wearing her skimpy clothes and baking brownies. The pair barely exchange words and at night, y/n can't sleep, still unable to sleep without someone close. She doesn't have her brother close, doesn't have her fiancé anymore, she feels alone. So at nights she answers his messages and walks around the house, listening to music, watching bad reality TV and watching surveillance footage. At one point she came to the conclusion she would be a terrible suburban wife, the tedium would kill her.

Bucky's sleep depends on the day, his nightmares sometimes wake him up most of the time. Y/n hears him, but she's mad, so she ignores. One day, it's Bucky that hears her, hears her watching Keeping up With the Kardashians and decides to come down. That happens a week into the mission.

"What are you doing?"

"Watching TV. Can I? Or are you going to report I'm mentally unstable?" - She says, and he can feel her anger.

"Look, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"Everyone at Shield doubts me, because I'm young, because I'm a woman, because I was recruited at 13, because I was sent to a mental health facility, everyone finds a reason. I thought you at least wouldn't doubt me, because everyone doubts you too..." - She says honestly, looking at the floor.

"Maybe you're right. I didn't think you took things seriously, but you have been, you have been nothing but professional so far. I'm sorry I underestimated you."

"Thank you." - She says, finaly looking at him.

"So, why aren't you sleeping?" - He asks.

"Oh, I can't say. It's embarrassing. You'll really think I'm a nut job!" - She says, humor mask taking over again.

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

"Okay, fair. I can't sleep alone, I feel to exposed. Especially after the death of my fiancé, I'm still recovering."

"Oh, my condolences, how long ago has he passed?"

"A year. I spent six months hunting the people that killed him, four months in a mental health facility after breaking down and two months training to come back to Shield. I'm ready to come back, but I didn't really sleep alone before him, I always had my brother close, so it's like going back to zero. I feel like a baby again..."

"That's a lot. It's understandable you took your time. I'm sorry I judged you. If it makes you feel better, I can't sleep because I have nightmares about when I was the winter soldier."

"Oh, I'm sorry. That's terrible too. It wasn't really you..." - She looks im his eyes.

"But it was my hands, and it still can be, you know?"

"I do, I really do..."

"You know, if it makes you feel better, you can sleep with me. It will sell the couple thing a lot better too if they enter the house." - Bucky says, sincerely.

"Won't it botter you?"

"Nah, if you don't mind I'm kinda crazy..." - He smiles.

"Well, people say I'm kinda crazy too." - y/n smiles too.

From that day forward y/n Stark and Bucky Barned slept on the same bed. She slept peacefully and so did he, which scares them both. The lack of nightmares for Bucky was unusual and y/n hadn't had a peaceful night of sleep since the death of Jonathan, she was so scared of betraying his memory. Their fear wasn't enough to stop them from continuing though, the pull and the need to be close to each other too big. They had never kissed, but everyday they would sleep in opposite sides of the bed and wake up tangled in each other, y/n's back to Bucky's chest, legs intertwined. On the beginning of the third week, they stopped pretending they cared and, when y/n laid down on the bed, she put her head on Bucky's chest and he put his flesh arm around her, their hearts synchronizing and them both feeling like home.

They started talking more before bed, y/n told Bucky about her childhood, how Tony was important to her, told about her life with Jonathan, how he was important to her and how his loss changed her, how she was still broken still rebuilding. Bucky told y/n about the 40's, how he was different back them, told about Steve when he was a scrawny kid, and how his memories of the Winter Soldier were still fuzzy. Y/n traced circles in his chest while he talked and she called him James, his name sounded different im her mouth. He never liked it, but when she sayed it, it sounded special.

In the middle of the first month, a message arrive through the laptop:

"Fury: Target moving cargo tonight. Intercept, then await further instructions."

They got ready to intercept the cargo, whatever it was. Y/n was so happy to finally dress in something that was not not glued to her body. They were tagging the cargo in motorcycles, Bucky smiled, remembering the day y/n told him how she learned to ride a motorcycle with Natasha. She was so scared, he recalled she told him, but Natasha bribed her with milkshakes. She had the biggest sweet tooth he ever saw, baking brownies and cookies all day if he let her.

"Ready, Sargent?" - y/n asked.

"Ready, agent!" - He answers, putting on his helmet.

They tag the cargo quietly, unseen, until they arrive at the location. Y/n and Bucky stash the motorcycles with the proficiency of years of spy work and while Bucky does recon, y/n works on taking out the look outs. Two down when she enters the truck, seeing the case with the weapons.

"Bingo" - She whispers, being tazed soon afterwards. Luckily for her, electricity doesn't do much to her, but It hurts like hell, so she screams, which alarms Bucky. His recon counts three buyers and two suppliers. When he hears y/n scream, he ran, but saw her punching the guts of a henchmen.

"Hey, sorry I screamed. He teased me and that hurts a lot!" - y/n says.

"I came to rescue you..."

"Aw, that's so cute! If you want I can pretend to pass out so you can rescue me."

"That's not... you're insane!" - Bucky shakes his head. - "There's three buyers and two suppliers. One of the suppliers is our neighbor. What do you want to do? You're the one who knows Fury better."

"Well, he told us to intercept, if we get the cargo now, our cover is not blow. Did you get pictures of everyone with the drone?"

"Surprisingly, yes, I managed to run that thing." - Bucky says proudly.

"Okay, so let's go, hurry!" - Y/n picks up the case with the weapons and they start to run.

When they arrive at the house, y/n checks the weapons for a tracer, finding none, she stashes the in the safe and sends a message to Fury.

"Y/n: Cargo secure. Sending pictures of buyers and suppliers for database. Awaiting orders."

She takes a long shower, feeling the sting of the taser. When she gets to Bucky's room, she's talkative again.

"What good is being able to manipulate eletricity if a taser can burn me?" - She says, very annoyed.

"Can I see?" - Bucky says.

"Yeah." - She says as she sits on the bed, putting her head on her shoulder, the burn is right behind her neck.

"Fuck, that's bad. Let me get something on the first aid kit." - Bucky gets up, leaving y/n to miss him, she realized she had started to like him in these last few weeks. When he comes back, he's got a burn gel, it stings a little when he puts it on the burn. Y/n hisses.

"Sorry, it's for you own good." - He closes the gel and turns off the light, getting ready for sleep.

When y/n lays down in his chest, Bucky draws circles in her arms. They're quiet today, the toll of the day weighting on them. But there are things Bucky has to say.

"You know, when you screamed, I thought you were hurt. Like, seriously hurt. Something in me broke. I don't think I'd be able to finish the mission... I don't think I'd care."

"C'mon, James, you know I'm tough" - y/n smiles.

"I know. But I realized I care more about you than I thought. And I know you're still grieving, so it's okay if you don't want this yet. But I want you to know that I'd do anything for you." - He says, looking straight into her eyes.

"James?" - y/n asks.

"Yeah?" - He says, puzzled.

"Shut up!" - Y/n says, as she closes the distance between them and kisses him.

James Buchanan Barnes is surprised at first, so surprised he pulls away. But then he looks into y/n Stark's eyes. He sees the longing, the care, he sees she wants this as much as him. So he kisses her again, harder this time, with want, desire, conveining everything he doesn't know how to say, because he was never great with words.

And she gasps when he slips his tongue in her mouth, grabbing her waist and setting himself on top of her. That night, James Bucky Barnes was not the winter soldier and Y/n Stark was not an Avenger. They were two people who needed each other. And Bucky held y/n with such care.

"Are you sure?" - He asked, softly, kissing her collarbone and adjusting the pillows bellow her before taking her fully.

"Yes, please." - y/n hadn't said softly, with need in her eyes.

And Bucky had listened, he would listen to everything she said, do anything she asked of him, from the moment she called him Manchurian Candidate he was doomed. He looked at her the entire time, watching her reactions, her whimpers, how she was struggling to let go. He kissed her, whispering in her ear.

"Let go for me, please. I'm all yours, be mine, if only for tonight..." - And she held his hand, clenching around him, moaning his name, his first name, as she always called him, he moaned at that.

Afterwards, James held her tightly, feeling her cry silently.

"It's okay, I'm here, doll."

"I feel guilty. I'm moving on when he can't..."

"It's not your fault... From what you tell me, Jonathan was an amazing guy, he would want you to be happy..." - Bucky said, cleaning her tears.

"The worst part was that I always felt that I was hiding something from him, the shield part, leading a double life. We fought because I had too many missions, until I look a leave of absence. And now you're from my world, you know?" - she cried more.

"Y/n, you're an amazing person. You did everything for your fiancé and stayed with him till the end. If you want me to get up and leave, I will, but I think you deserve to be happy. You've been trough a lot and you've survived!" - She puts her hands in his neck.

"Don't go..." - She says.

"Never unless you tell me to!"

"Sorry I cried after our first time... It's the first time I've been with someone since..." - She doesn't need to continue.

"It's alright, you're allowed to have feelings. If it's up to me, we'll have a lot of other times and you won't cry." - He bumps her nose and she smiles.

Bucky kisses her forehead and she lays down on his chest, tired and happy for the first time in a while. The guilt is still there, but Bucky is there to get it out of her.

The next day, Fury answers the message on the laptop:

"Fury: Prioritize bringing the weapons back to Shield. New targets will be watched via satellite. Mission successfull. Extraction point tomorrow 1200, same place."

She smiles, she still has a full day with Bucky.

"Why are you smiling, talking to your boyfriend on your super secret laptop?" - Bucky wraps his arms around y/n from behind, kissing her cheek.

"No, dum dum. Fury sent a message. Our mission is over, we have to take the weapons to the extraction point. Same place we were dropped off. However, the pickup is tomorrow 1200. We have a whole day to ourselves."

"Oh!" - Bucky smiles, turning y/n's chair to himself. - "Any ideas on what to do with out time, agent?"

"None whatsoever, Sargent..." - She pulls him close to her mouth by his shirt, blue eyes glistening mischievously.

A/n: Hey, guys, I'm trying something with the songs. Each chapter will have one I listened to while writing if you'd like to get in the mood. 💜