thinkin' about cats and aliens and alien cats

I’m in my mid-thirties and I have never had sex. I’ve thought about it and could have had one or two opportunities if I put in more effort, but I always decided against it because I just wasn’t into it at the time.

I can safely say that I do not feel I have missed out on anything. I was perfectly capable, by myself, of learning about my own body and boundaries without anyone else there to muddy the waters. The immense pressure that was there in my teens/twenties to Have Sex Just Do It is basically gone. I’m vibing. I’ve got my routine by myself in bed that I enjoy, and that’s enough for me.

And in the unlikely event that I ever decide to have sex with someone in the future, I don’t feel at all like I’m lacking some essential Knowledge or Skill that would “make it good” for someone else. I fully expect to ask my partner out loud what they like and to receive an answer clearly communicated and to relax and have fun. And if it’s a disappointing experience, I’m fine with that too. It is what it is.

Obviously, this has already been pointed out by Black people in the fandom, but I wanted to bring it up because I’ve had a few asks about that song specifically that I’m not comfortable with answering. I am extremely happy that Jax is canonically transfem because even though I’ve never watched the show, I’ve witnessed people’s excitement about it, and I’m not trying to rain on anyone’s parade, but I’m also not going to pretend like the racism doesn’t exist because that’s not the kind of blog I’m running here. Any other song could’ve been used, and perhaps there wasn’t much thought put into its choice; I’m sure it wasn’t a deliberate act of malice, because from an outsider perspective that song seems to fit perfectly, but that ultimately doesn’t make it any less harmful, especially given the context surrounding the production.

I feel similarly about how United In Grief by Kendrick Lamar became a popular TikTok sound for people to make funny jokes about something going wrong when the original lyrics are specifically about Black grief. Or about the new trend of “the saxaphones are getting louder” taken from Boyz N The Hood, which is a movie about Black-American experiences that a lot of (white) people using this sound likely haven’t even seen.

╒  ‎‏ 𝕄𝔸𝔽𝕀𝔸: 𝔻𝔼 𝔾𝕀𝔽𝕤‏‏‎ ‎‏‎  ╕