let her be loud

“fascism.”

“so many? i feel as if i’ve been really separate forever. i’d say ksyenia, vita, and sabina.” @kscniya, @vitasturias, and @rosetainted

“no one has been around me long enough for that feeling to hit, but you never know i could wake up one day and be head over heels, but no.” 

      nolan and anna amalia were a friendship that made sense but also one that possibly made no sense . then again , it was nolan , he was good at acting in a way that he needed to act in whatever given situation . although , his friendship with anna amalia wasn’t at all that . it was genuine . some would find that odd , at least those close to him . wondering how someone , some would say , that had a stick up his ass about certain things . that liked things to fall completely in line would make friends with someone that had been through as much as anna amalia had been . she wasn’t at all simple but possibly that was one of the many things nolan enjoyed about their friendship ??  ‟  you aren’t the antithesis of what a typical princess should be .  „  okay , maybe in a sense she was and nolan trying to be not a blunt as usual , trying to be nice , didn’t want to make her feel insecure .  ‟  everyone is a little lost . some of us just know how to fake knowing what the hell we’re doing a lot better than others .  „  he probably wouldn’t admit that to anyone else , but they were friends after all .  ‟  of course if you tell anyone i said that i’d deny everything .  „  the male smiled . 

giving him a look of disbelief, anna did her best to stop the laugh. she failed though. “oh please, i’m the antithesis, my ancestors are rolling in their graves knowing i’m what they’re dynasty has to rely on. i’m sure walt disney himself is rolling in his grave knowing that a princess the exact opposite of whatever list he had to base his off of.” it was almost a known fact, her mother always told her she made waves in a way no other princess of austria had before. as she got older she saw it come to fruition more and more. with how the media addressed her, to the actions she made herself.  “you’re secret’s safe with me, i’ll make sure no one finds out about the master class on faking it until you make it your offering.” a teasing grin crossed her lips. “besides if i let everyone know then it wouldn’t make your advice oh so exclusive, just as i like it.”

“thank you,” and it was sincere. not exactly anyone could be on the receiving end of anna amalia von habsburg’s compliments, and catherine was quite happily touched by it. “you’ve got a good head on your shoulders, and being able to get your endorsement would mean a lot.” everything will be written up and very carefully reviewed, not only by her bevvy of advisors and the handful of scottish graduate students she handpicked to serve in her private council, but also by herself. “now that we got politics out of the way–” she brandished the topic away with a smile, a sort of well-practiced grace. “– will you be going to the upcoming wedding? i don’t know the couple personally, but i suppose every royal is invited, it’s the crown prince’s wedding after all.” the whole affair will be drenched in politics, with a new alliance forged in stone in front of watchful witnesses. 

“a good head on my shoulders? i know many who would disagree but i’ll trust you.” she was often criticized for her lack judgment simply because it went against this idealized version of a crown princess they had in their head. austria’s stance on this was a big decision, one that would be looked back on in the future, but was it not her decision to make if her father was too busy to be bothered with such a thing. “i look forward to seeing what your terms are.” and she meant it, every word. “of course, i wouldn’t want to make it seem rude, so i’ll go, i’ll but the tiara on all no matter how much it goes against every moral code i have. something tells me you thrive at these sort of things, don’t you?” 

×  @annaamalias​ .

       ‟  i’m just saying , i’d give you five bucks if you got up on this bar right now and started singing .  „  he joked as he brought the shot of whiskey up to his lips . tilting his head back quickly , he downed the shot before lifting his head back up and shaking it slightly . it didn’t matter how much he drank , liquor never tasted all that great to him . but that wasn’t the point of drinking , now was it ? at least it wasn’t for someone like tristan . nevertheless , probably bribing someone with five dollars wasn’t all that much when knowing he had a lot more money to quote unquote , blow . but he was just messing around .  ‟  double points if you sing sweet caroline . it’s a classic . a cheesy classic and i’m pretty sure everyone will think you’re insane which isn’t a bad thing .  „  again , he was just messing around . although , it would be pretty entertaining if she actually did it and everyone that knew the male knew that he loved to be entertained . usually that entertainment being something idiotic .  

“only five?”  anna amalia never did shots, still when tristan ordered a shot whiskey, she followed up by ordering one of vodka. not that it was easy to get down but she did it anyway, ignoring the burning. “first of call sweet caroline is a classic but there are much better karaoke classics, i’m talking dancing queen, girls just wanna have fun, and maybe on a good day, living on a prayer.” although she certainly would never even consider karaoke this sober, and if she got drunk enough to consider it then lord help her it would probably be a rough night for her. “i’m too sober for karaoke, you have to be properly sloshed for it to be a karaoke night.” 

×  @annaamalias​ .

       there was a rare number of people nolan actually genuinely liked . sure , there were people he acted as though he liked but it was pretty easy to get on the males nerves . ( even if he hid it well . ) there was simply a lot of things to judge people on . that was the truth . although , there was probably just as much to judge when it came to nolan este as well but he did his best to hold onto that picture perfect image . all that being said , anna amalia was one of the few people that nolan could handle for long periods of time . which was exactly why he was handing her a fresh and hot cup of coffee .  ‟  so tell me , what’s been going on in the life of one anna amalia ??  „  the male asked as he raised his own cup of coffee up to his lips and took a small sip of the hot beverage . 

she would consider herself a fairly sociable girl, she tended to find her footing fairly easily amongst people. while it was easy for her to make enemies, anyone as outspoken as her could she found the friendship just as easy as well. “well thank you,” she quickly brought the coffee to her lips, humming  “well, you’re looking at a twenty four year old future empress who is fresh off her first and hopefully last divorcé,” sighing she shook her head with a bit of a smile. “feeling a bit lost at it honestly, i feel like i’m the antithesis of what a typical princess here should be. i miss feeling like i was doing good. i’m very glad you’ve decided to join us all in paradise though, i need more people on my side.” 

“we all have to make do with our strengths, no?” catherine had the decency not to smile too terribly broad, but she let her eyes fall to the mechanical way she was stirring her coffee. “i wasn’t lucky enough to be born earlier, or with deep familial ties to the russians or the french… antonia wasn’t blessed with either– and that’s perhaps why i find her admirable, still.” she wasn’t sure what kind of deals she was making behind closed doors, or completely figured out why some world leaders have chosen to put all of their eggs in her basket. “i plan to make myself as well-connected as i possibly could, a worthy consort of england’s new ruler that would bring to her powerful new allies.” it sounded crass, and terribly old-fashioned – but it was the truth. “i’m asking for an endorsement, anna, and maybe a promise of strengthened trade when the time comes… for england– if you’re interested, maybe we could draw up some documents.”

“we do, what kind of human life is one where you set aside what you have a natural passion for.” with a shrug of her shoulder, anna amalia brought her coffee up to her lips. “you may not have the french or the russians, but you’re still a very powerful young woman with very powerful allies. you’ve done a lot to get what you want, that’s why i find you admirable. ” she set the coffee down, carefully listening to what catherine had to say. she already knew her answer, of course, it would be reckless to agree to something without a clear definition. “well, you get it in writing with clear terms. why would i say no if everything looks agreeable?” 

“I did! I made sure that by the time I went here, you would be too.”, Juhi joked as her friend occupied the space next to her. “I get that feeling, but I think we feel that way because we still need to get used to how things work around here. When we do, maybe we will be able to do more than we have to.” She smiled in hopes of reassuring the other. “Like who? I am asking because I would like to know more people.“

“oh so you’re my stalker now, at least i know it’s someone who cares.” she teased. “i’m not cut out for being a pretty princess who lounges in diamonds and eats ridiculous caviar while discussing how terrible my day is when people are hungry and isolated and hurt because of the same actions of people who sit in their designer clothes fawning over how good the caviar is.” it was really that she had enough people that she felt comfortable around. “just people i recognize from oxford and a few friends i’ve had for a long time. just put yourself out there, they’ll love you.” 

“the elected politicians in england do not make sense to me, theoretically –” she looked over at anna amalia, brows furrowed in the way that was reminiscent to the day the election results had made news in scotland for her. “would traditional tory values change so far and so quickly? this is the party that had screamed ‘england first’! now, i understand that the war had scared everyone into supporting self-defence and inherent nationalism, but- goodness.” perhaps she might choose the ebb and flow of political ideals in times of constant and prolonged conflict as an area of research, needless to say, catherine was fascinated. the way how one might be fascinated at an oncoming train crash, or children falling off of bikes. “i’m sorry, that’s not very… neutral of me, my mother might say that it’s unbecoming.” 

outspoken catherine, far too political catherine, her mother would’ve shut her down with one glance. “if citizens are really looking for someone like them, someone who really isn’t an aristocrat, it would only leave antonia and andrew… and yet, it really isn’t up to them, isn’t it?” for the life of her she wasn’t completely sure who it was up to, but if the situation in parliament was any indication, it would be anybody’s game. “would we have your support, though? most of the heirs are backed by world powerhouses, with armies massive enough to take and annex our whole island if they wanted to! poor andrew only has me.” and a few others who would come to the table because of her, but again, it really wouldn’t come down to an international vote.

“oh none of it makes sense, but people don’t ever use common sense do they?” she’s often thought about how long it would take people to release how ridiculous they sounded if they just sat and thought about their actions and opinions for more than 5 seconds. “it’s disgusting, a shame that someplace that has brought so much to the world, now only produces such a closed-minded form of thinking.” rolling her eyes, anna tried to stop the catty remark on neutrality from coming out. she didn’t though. “oh, fuck neutrality. catherine no one being neutral has never done anyone good in the world. if something is wrong morally and bothering you morally how can you ignore it. think of atrocities that could have been stopped for years if people in our position just stopped being neutral for one second.” 

“no it’s never been up to the people, even in a case where it should be.” typical, catherine really, she should have seen it coming. making a simple gossip on politics into a way for getting support. “you’re too smart for your own good, stuart.” picking up her coffee with a sip, she hummed. “i’ve admired how progressive antonia is but i couldn’t trust her with this whole tory business. what exactly are you asking from austria? because i’m sure you don’t want just me with a clipboard and sign on your side.” although, looking at her options, the answer was already clear, she wasn’t her father, she wouldn’t dive into something so recklessly.  

“is it far too early for this kind of conversation?” she said, half-joking as she wrapped her hands around the small cup of coffee. the topic of the conversation did not matter, for it would’ve stayed and plagued her mind regardless of what she was outwardly doing, all times of the day and night. “for a once great country with endless resources you could think that maybe they could dig themselves out of the whole they’re in. if i had my way, and that’s a very large if, i’d change the narrative completely… scrap house windsor and the mess they stood for, and build a new one in its place. social reforms… an overhaul of the tax system… a regulation to the free market that might benefit more people instead of the few–” she listed off the ideas with her fingers, as if casually remarking upon what her plans were for the rest of the week. 

“– they desperately need to curb corruption in parliament, i know for a fact that arthur has most of them in his pocket… funnelling funds into local modes of production, of course, that’s a given. strengthen the monarchy, for god’s sake – and proving to the people at large that families that are bred for public service isn’t inherently bad, but one that’s accompanied with accountability and transparency could be their biggest advocate.” she felt her heart seize now, with want, perhaps – but also with indignance. “natalia is young, and a little too idealistic, arthur is obviously unstable, vaughn …seems as if he doesn’t want it very much – the same could only be said about the new one that just cropped up. and antonia–” she paused, sighing deeply. “she’s the only one i feel like i should worry about… even though she is dating a bloody tory.”

“it is never too early to start changing the world,” anna and catherine were somehow similar and different at the same time. while she’d always admired the other for her distinct ability to handle everything without getting her hair out of place, anna couldn’t. “you want to change the narrative?” humming, she took a sip of her coffee listening careful over her options. “people want stability, but they want their country to thrive, they want tradition, but the few people in power in england are a strong few, imitating the same things both of our families do sitting on the histories of others who hurt to get where they were before them.” it was something that had bothered her most of her life, knowing atrocities were connected to her by name forever. 

“as someone who has stood outside parliament protesting multiple times.” far more often than she probably should have but there were things to be done. “the monarchy is a necessary evil, especially in england. it’s how the whole structure of their government is set the reliance and the lack of reliance on the monarchy. even hugo would say that and he’s as anti-establishment as you can get, even if he looked past it for a bit with me. there isn’t any trust with them though, they had a regular richard ii on the throne with the idiocy of henry viii. actually no it’s worse, it’s the idiocy of john of gaunt!” setting her coffee down, anna raised an eyebrow. “she’s dating a tory?  are you for real, what kinda idiotic political book is she reading? does that not completely throw her credibility away? it makes them both awful, no one wins there. i mean, personally,  i wouldn’t trust anyone whose dating a tory to pick out what a group project is on. let alone anything larger than that! it’s like standing for nothing. how could a citizen trust that?” 

“human rights. there are certain things that we as humans should be granted with zero question, everyone should have the right to their civil liberties, housing, food, water, and education. we live in a society where people don’t have that and there are many who live in fear and are desperately searching to  find that they get cast aside. we let people die and pay the rich more, it’s sickening.” 

“you were there? my god – you really did just slipped out… so you didn’t hear all of the gossip about the party yet?” she shook her head, quite happy to supply her on the information that she was lacking. selfish catherine had almost rejoiced at the whole poisoning scandal that had reduced her own ridiculous conduct into a mere footnote. “someone tried poisoning the russian tsar, there was the whole sordid business of a false arrest of the monegasque princess, my little… confrontation with arthur – the younger, i mean.” waving over a waiter for coffee, catherine sighed, her headache already materialising as it usually does when the godforsaken name was said out loud. “god, the english situation is getting more ridiculous by the second. it’s been two whole years!” 

“of course i did, it’s the last place on earth i want to be at, rubbing elbows with people who don’t understand they’ve created their own problems due to their own selfishness.” she hummed, raising an eyebrow as catherine began explaining it all to her. “nylane made sure i knew about the poisoning, the monegasque princess being falsely arrested for it that’s surprising. maybe we can compare mugshots.” pausing, she put her coffee down raising an eyebrow. “a confrontation with arthur? i may have read about your christmas one with your sister in the gossip magazines. the lady next to me on my flight was studying it like it was the bible.” reaching for her coffee, anna amalia took another sip just nodding in agreement. “well, there’s bound to be an answer to it, you’re engaged to an heir as well as being the crown princess to one of their closest countries, what would you do to solve it?” 

as if the holidays hadn’t happened at all, they were all back under the safe, tropical sunlight of phuket. although everything wasn’t as they had left it, catherine could see one glaring difference in the restaurant with the breakfast buffet. “anna? anna amalia?” her heels clicked on the hardwood floors, eyes wide with surprise as she made her way to take the chair across the younger princess. “did your father actually strangle you and threw you in a plane? you missed the russian new year’s party, everyone wore couture and drank too much champagne – your favourite kind of gathering.”  @annaamalias​

“careful, if you say my name a third time in a row i might have to haunt you, like  beetlejuice.” smirking, at the blonde she brought her coffee up to her lips. she had to laugh at the mention of her father. “not exactly throw me in one, but made it clear that someone had to go represent austria and my newest stepmother has an abhorrent amount of vacations planned.” she rolled her eyes just at the thought of her father and stepmother’s luxurious habits. “that and he thought it might get me to stop moping about the divorce.” with a raise of her eyebrow she hummed. “oh i know, i was there in a couture gown miserable at the prospects in front of me. i left after a few hellos, went to a pub in the city centre.” 

“Oh my, tea and tiara’s are a delicate subject. You musn’t mention it around in the wrong company.” The family drama all panned the same whether it be the English or the South Africans. “This place will keep you on your toes. You’ve heard of the poisoning crisis?” Nimble digits separated pieces of melon and pineapples, choosing only to occasionally nibble on the melons while Anna spoke. “Why? I would prefer to be home but meetings are conducted much faster since the high-brow officials are here.”

“It’s still so tone-deaf, I mean we’re at war and still all wearing couture. No one has even a sense of pity.” She knew that just the amount of people around each other would make it complicated. How could it not when enemies and friends were the same people at times. “I have, poor taste but very Renaissance style of whoever did it. Shakespeare himself couldn’t have written it.”  It’d been barely any time but she still found herself missing home. “People are starving and I’m guessing cavair is at the ring of a bell. Especially in meetings, I’ve always found the audacity of wealth disgusting.”