Ankbell inflator

I hate to rant or over exert my energy on the negatives but I HAVE to say something.

So as you guys may know I have recovered from anorexia. It was something I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. I was hospitalized multiple times, I spent most of my highschool days home sick from starving myself, I have damaged organs, and of course I feel as if I wasted a good portion of my teenage years constantly worrying about my appearance and not much else. I survived on sugar free jello, celery, carrots, brocolli, cucumbers, and water. Almost nothing else. I worked out even when I was passing out without warning, I thought I had to work off the few calories I did take in each day. I was suffering not only internally with my health, but mentally and emotionally as well. It was a type of torture I wouldn’t wish upon any person.

My eating disorder came from years of my fatphobic family teaching me that fat was something no one should be. That being 150lbs+ might as well be a crime. That you are worthless as a woman if you eat what you want. That you can’t be healthy unless you present a skinny body... I believed it, and I nearly killed myself with this mindset. When I began to recover, I did so with medical intervention. Inpatient treatmeants, therapy, group therapy, medication - all the methods you can think of. I gained weight naturally just from eating 3 well rounded meals a day, finally introducing proteins, healthy carbs, fruits, and other necessary vitamins that any human needs to survive. I stumbled across the feedism/gaining community by complete accident. I was looking into other women gaining weight like I was and wanted to see how they felt and if I wasn’t alone in my journey. Of course, at first it really wasn’t easy to gain weight after YEARS of treating weight gain like a disease, even with all the medical treatment.

But then I came to a realization seeing other women gaining weight... I had always dated heavier set people, always found them beautiful, and always adored them... Why was I so hateful toward myself when my own preferences and love was toward chubby people? I had conditioned myself to desperately want to be something I didn’t even want to be.

I slowly dived deeper into feedism, weight gain, and fat fetishes, learning my own preferred kinks and what I personally wanted from my own body. I wanted to be bigger, not for others but for myself. So that’s what I began to do, and I continued my ED treatments throughout the gain. I still to this day see a therapist and doctor.

So you’re probably wondering, why the hell did Rosie decide to spill all these beans today?? It’s because something has been SERIOUSLY bugging me about the feedism community. I’ve been getting comments and DMs from people saying things along the lines that what I am doing to gain weight is the same as my anorexia. Which, is absolutely ludicrous, and if you can’t tell already there are two very big points being ignored when saying that they are the same.

1. My anorexia was an involuntary disease that nearly killed me.

2. My weight gain is a voluntary preference which has yet to effect me in any way but positively.

Like I said, I still see a therapist and doctor regularly, and my doctor has seen nothing but improvements in my condition since I began recovery. Blood work always comes back clear, and things like my reproductive health has even improved. I also, have been never talked to or scolded for my weight by my doctor or the several specialists I have worked with.

To compare my weight gain, which again is a PREFERENCE, to a life threatening disease is absolutely disgusting and I want to remind you that things like depression and eating disorders are not something you can pretend to know everything about. They are in fact one of the absolute deadliest behavioral health disorders, and are not something you do because you want to. I am telling this story not to gain pity from anyone, but to tell you that comparing these two topics is not only insensitive but uneducated.

I think there's two takeaways here. Firstly, feedists should be more respectful of feedees with a history of EDs, and not constantly harrass them to stuff themselves (not that such behaviour is ever acceptable). Secondly, non feedists should not liken this kink to an eating disorder. Not only is it ignorant, it's offensive too, both to feedists and to people suffering from EDs.

I can try 😭

corset squish