Creatures Great and Small

    “Since every one loves my teeth, does anyone want a closer look?”

“Gladly.”

Loxodonta africana

’ What do you want me to do, dress in drag and do the hula? ’ ’ I despise guessing games. ’ ’ Oh, goody. ’ ’ Yes. Well, forgive me for not leaping for joy. ’ ’ When I’m King, what’ll that make you? ’ ’ You’re so weird. ’ ’ You have no idea. ’ ’ Sing something with a little bounce in it. ’ ’ I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts. ’ ’ Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head… ’ ’ Hakuna Matata. It’s our motto. ’ ’ What’s a motto? ’ ’ Nothing. What’s a motto with you? ’ ’ Did I miss something? ’ ’ Let me out! Let me out! ’ ’ Please don’t eat me. ’ ’ Whoa. Talk about your fixer-upper. ’ ’ I can’t go back. What would it prove, anyway?  ’ ’ You can’t change the past. ’ ’ You said you’d always be there for me! But you’re not. ’ ’ It’s because of me. It’s my fault. ’ ’ Ahh, so you haven’t told them your little secret. ’ ’ It’s not true. Tell me it’s not true. ’ ’ No! It was an accident! ’ ’ It’s your fault he’s/she’s dead. Do you deny it? ’ ’ Then you’re guilty. ’ ’ No, I’m not a murderer! ’ ’ Friends? I thought he/she said we were the enemy. ’ ’ Don’t ever do that again! Carnivores, ugh! ’ ’ We’re pals, right? ’ ’ I don’t wonder; I know. ’ ’ The great kings of the past look down on us from those stars. ’ ’ I always thought they were balls of gas burning billions of miles away. ’ ’ Fireflies that, uh… got stuck up on that big bluish-black thing. ’ ’ Everything the light touches is our kingdom. ’ ’ A king’s time as ruler rises and falls like the sun. ’ ’ What’s happened to you? ’ ’ You’re right, I’m not. Now are you satisfied? ’ ’ You know you’re starting to sound like my father. ’ ’ The sooner we get to the waterhole, the sooner we can leave. ’ ’ So where are we really going? ’ ’ Right. So how are we going to ditch the dodo? ’ ’ It’s a tradition going back generations. ’ ’ Well, when I’m king, that’ll be the first thing to go. ’ ’ Well, in that case, you’re fired. ’ ’ Nice try, but only the king can do that. ’ ’ Your Majesty. I gravel at your feet. ’ ’ Why do I always have to save your… Ahhh! ’ ’ I know what I have to do. ’ ’ Temper, temper. ’ ’ I’ve been running from it for so long. ’ ’ Ow! Jeez, what was that for? ’ ’ It doesn’t matter. It’s in the past. ’ ’ Oh yes, the past can hurt. ’ ’ But from the way I see it, you can either run from it, or… learn from it. ’ ’ You see? So what are you going to do? ’ ’ First, I’m gonna take your stick. ’ ’ Good! Go on! Get out of here! ’ ’ So you’d better have a good excuse for missing the ceremony this morning. ’ ’ Perhaps you shouldn’t turn your back on me. ’ ’ I wouldn’t dream of challenging you. ’ ’ Is that a challenge? ’ ’ I’m afraid I’m at the shallow end of the gene pool. ’ ’ There’s one in every family sire. Two in mine, actually. ’ ’ Pinned you again. ’ ’ What’s going on? ’ ’ Oh, dear, I’ve said too much! ’ ’ Well, I’m brave. What’s out there? ’ ’ All the more reason for me to be protective. ’ ’ Well, I suppose you’d have found out sooner or later. ’ ’ Just promise me you’ll never visit that dreadful place! ’ ’ You run along now and have fun. ’ ’ I wonder if its brains are still in there? ’ ’ Danger? Hah! I walk on the wild side. I laugh in the face of danger. Ha ha ha ha! ’ ’ Do you know what we do to kings who step out of their kingdom? ’ ’ Puh. You can’t do anything to me. ’ ’ Oh, my, my, my. Look at the sun. It’s time to go! ’ ’ Hey! Why don’t you pick on somebody your own size? ’ ’ I’m very disappointed in you. ’ ’ You could have been killed! ’ ’ You deliberately disobeyed me! ’ ’ I was just trying to be brave like you. ’ ’ I’m only brave when I have to be. ’ ’ Being brave doesn’t mean you go looking for trouble. ’ ’ Whoah. I guess even kings get scared, huh? ’ ’ But you’re not scared of anything. ’ ’ We were afraid it was somebody important. ’ ’ Tell me about it. I just hear that name and I shudder. ’ ’ Yeah, be prepared! We’ll be prepared… for what? ’ ’ Long live the king! Long live the king! ’ ’ If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise, now would it? ’ ’ If you tell me, I’ll still act surprised. ’ ’ You are such a naughty boy/girl! ’ ’ You hear that? If you ever come back, we’ll kill ya! ’ ’ So it is with a heavy heart that I assume the throne. ’ ’ That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard. ’ ’ You know, having a lion around might not be such a bad idea. ’ ’ Ah, you’re an outcast! That’s great. So are we. ’ ’ I’m telling you, kid: this is the great life. No rules, no responsibilities… ’ ’ You mean a bunch of royal dead guys are watching us? ’ ’ Come on, I just heard about this great place. ’ ’ I’m surrounded by idiots. ’ ’ I’m kinda in the middle of a bath. ’ ’ So where are we going? It better not be anyplace dumb. ’ ’ I’ll show you when we get there. ’ ’ The waterhole? What’s so great about the waterhole? ’ ’ You’re the king? And you never told us? ’ ’ You don’t even know what I’ve been through! ’ ’ I finally got some sense knocked into me. ’ ’ Please have mercy, I beg you. ’ ’ You don’t deserve to live. ’ ’ Why should I believe you? Everything you ever told me was a lie. ’ ’ This looks like a good spot to rustle up some grub. ’ ’ I’ll make it up to you, I promise. ’ ’ You got to put your past behind you. ’ ’ When the world turns its back on you, you turn your back on the world. ’ ’ Bad things happen, and you can’t do anything about it. ’ ’ There’s more to being a king than getting your way all the time. ’ ’ I’m so hungry I could eat a whole zebra. ’ ’ Listen kid: if you live with us, you’re gonna have to eat like us. ’ ’ Come on, will you cut it out? ’ ’ I thought I knew, but now I’m not so sure. ’ ’ What’s that supposed to mean, anyway? ’ ’ I’m not the one who’s confused. ’ ’ You don’t even know who you are! ’ ’ This is just the way your father looked before he died. ’ ’ So what’s the plan for getting past those guys? ’ ’ No wonder we’re dangling at the bottom of the food chain! ’ ’ Where is your hunting party? They’re not doing their job. ’ ’ Then you have sentenced us to death! ’ ’ Well, it sure is a surprise to see you… ’ ’ Hakuna Matata. It means “no worries”. ’ ’ These are rare delicacies. ’ ’ You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. ’ ’ You are more than what you have become. ’ ’ How can I go back? I’m not who I used to be. ’ ’ Will you stop following me? Who are you? ’ ’ What’s going on here? Who’s the monkey? ’

“Distrusting me was the wisest thing you’ve done.”

Elephants whose tusks are long enough to reach the ground are known as “Super Tusker”. Unfortunately, due to poaching, there are less than 20 (!!) super tuskers left in the wild. 

+ indie | selective | nonprivate mr. ping of the kung fu panda franchise + headcanon-heavy– established in 2014 + post-KFP3; other verses and AUs are available + one-liner to multipara + crossover- and OC-friendly + low activity; trying to get back into the swing of things rip

“Yeah, that’s _______! How’d that square get in there?”

Animation art from Disney’s ROBIN HOOD (1973).

                                         go ahead. shoot me. be a man.