Here I am, still searching for what's calling me..

            Was a much needed reprieve

Close your eyes

As the sun descends

Bringing to us the night

Feel me

I’m next to you

Even if under different skies

I take your hand.

  Close your eyes

And feel my touch

As subtle as the breeze

Gentle

A hint of warmth

Threatening to overtake

I desire you.

  Close your eyes

And feel my lips

Brushing against yours

Tenderly

Sweet embrace

Changing in intensity

I take you in.

  Close your eyes

And hear my voice

Can you still remember

My sound?

Words spoken

Does it continue to resonate?

I whisper to you.

  Close your eyes

Be here with me.

I now see the numerous scars covering your beautiful body with the finest of lines that can be read much like brail unequivocally telling your story why have I never seen them before? but now I cannot ignore.

To exchange one's skin to rip it away from the flesh such a burning desire but one that can never be realized and everything that it has been through shall be a permanent reminder of what has been.

Your expression shows me how you struggle for each breath skin slowly tightening around your protruding bones almost transparent in its consistency ready to tear under duress ready to split at any moment.

You search out your reflection trying to make sense of it all but you can't and instead you are harrowing your mirror covering my eyes to spare me your tears but I have already decided I cannot leave you here.

Darkness invites my spirit Into its solitary realm With its empty promises Taking my life by the helm Light harder to see Dragging me farther away My reflection no longer me Gone is the light of day

The ignorance of memory The dissipation of the soul In search of forgiveness I'm trying to let go Felt with every breath Each step brings it closer Feeling its true depth Much needed closure

And with the rising sun My eyes I must shield Here above the surface Finally the walls have yield I have found my way Back amongst the living The warmth I must say Is so much more giving

I was your marionette movements cannot be anticipated totally dependent on you to choose which strings to operate to make me dance.

And even in death I awaited your manipulations still unable to move without your precise directions of how to be.

What is it that pulls me beneath the surface consuming my thoughts confusing as to what's real just as I take that first step forward in confidence it drags me back self doubt engulfing me finding difficulty in self control as time moves on.

Apprehension has often served as my cloak my words as my daggers usually reacting out of fear instead of conviction how I wish for the return of my lost confidence to once again be able to stand on my own two feet

       In order to save myself