ཐི♡ཋྀ⋆˚

hiiiiii i miss you guys so much!!! sorry for not being so active here.

it's complicated... to talk about it but i'm here to give to y'all a update. i still fighting against depression... but i know that healing is a long way. there are bad days, good days... but the only thing i know about myself, it's that i don't want to end my life anymore. i want to live. i look at the night, the stars, the trees.. and think: i don't want to end myself anymore. i think the best thing i did for my self was to fight against the the nihilistic view that depression imposed on me. to be a hellenic pagan, literally saved my life. i look at the nature, and i find peace. mostly nights. nights are my favorite thing. looking at the stars on a midnight sky. it heals me even unconsciously.

i need to understand that i should not put me in a burnout again. my brain used to think that i would never be worth if i wasn't productive. but i need to rest. i need to get out of my house to look at every single detail of the nature and the reasons why i'm in this earth. the night, the stars. all of that.