“Ha? Bat ayaw mo sa Pinoy?”
It stung the first time I heard it, as if it was a crime to not be attracted to your kind. Like being put in front of the jury, explaining why I am not guilty. It used to feel that way, but people quickly judge what they don’t comprehend.
They say culture and tradition binds people, but what if that’s the same thing that breaks people apart?
I’ve been broken before, by the same social construct—culture and tradition—because while family is important, it can also break couples apart. See, the problem is not the man himself, it’s when he fails to put that boundary between his own family and his partner.
You realize the toxicity in the culture is that many men feel the obligation to take care of his siblings, parents, relatives and everyone else in the family at the expense of his partner. When that boundary is challenged, you realize it doesn’t matter if he’s the perfect partner or a good man, he will choose them over you.
If I’m coming into a relationship without that baggage, I expect the same from my man.
So yeah, I’ve never dated within my culture because sadly, I’m very un-Filipino.
I’m not okay with the Balikbayan boxes, the money that gets sent back home, the unquestioning devotion to God.
Not because I’m selfish, but because I hate the entitlement.
You don’t get to talk about God while making chismis about Maria getting pregnant. You don’t get the money while spending lavishly on the trip to Europe. You don’t get the B-box while posting on Facebook about your rich brother. People work hard. My partner works hard, and I’m not okay with the entitlement of family members.
That’s why I’ve never dated within my culture because I can’t stand the toxic culture.
