Heart on a trigger

“So I guess I’m going to have to get a new job or something. My only marketable skill is acting… Anyone looking for a fake boyfriend or something?”

“Stripping! With a face like that you’d do okay.”

“I’m not even sure i’ve ever met a dumb cheerleader.Bitchy sure but dumb?No.”

“Somehow, Tinder is both the best and worst thing in the world.”

“i mean it’s good for getting new bad pick up lines,which i personally love.”

“Could really use some help here. I haven’t taken a girl out on an actual date in…a while. Like, a long while so, any tips on how to not look like a total idiot would be awesome.”

“I mean just being a nice guy usually is enough at-least for me anyway.”

“There’s nothing more hilarious ( or satisfying ) to me than the looks on some male client’s faces when I tell them what a giant lesbian I am after they try and ask me out. I’d only film it if I could.” 

“i’ll never understand why men are so shook by lesbians ya’ll are trash anyway.”