So Many Secrets

Blake’s eyes lit up as Andy placed his hand within his, their grips entangling with one another, and he waited eagerly for a response. He felt Andy’s lips on his and he smiled into the kiss but as his fiance pulled away he could do nothing more than blush. Andy was already taking him to their bedroom and it was more than enough for him to know where it would lead to. He had wanted it, both to make Andy feel better and because there was something about his fight with Sam that had his blood pumping. Although his ulterior motive had been upfront in his mind, and elsewhere, he hadn’t expected for Andy to bring it up. 

Andy kept his hands in Blake's, as they made their way to the bedroom. He didn't want to let go of the man, didn't want to stop touching him, not when Blake's words were getting him so flushed and warmed up. As Blake spoke, looking rather flustered himself, Andy chuckled, grinning widely. He didn't even care that his cheek stung a bit, from the action. He was just so happy with Blake. He felt so comfortable and safe around him, and Blake made him laugh. It felt good to laugh, to feel calm after the events of the day. "I was rather into your nurse act, I must admit." Andy said, blushing hard, but still smiling. "I thought that was fairly sexy too."

Blake’s stomach spun as anticipation crept over his entire body. Every second that Andy didn’t speak felt like a lifetime. Once the words left his mouth, Blake could only pull away and try to compose himself. Andy may not have outright said that his brother was dead but it was heavily implied. It wasn’t long before Blake pushed himself close to Andy again and wrapped his arms around him. His lips parted but he didn’t say anything, he could only listen to Andy’s request to leave and he nodded approvingly. He would wait until they were out of the house before he gave out any verbal comfort. Blake didn’t want to force his fiance to endure the pain of his childhood home more than he already had to. 

Andy was trying to keep his breathing balanced, trying to keep himself from gasping for air, before he began sobbing again. He could still feel the tears that were fighting to be released, but he tried his best to remain calm, knowing that if he lost it now, he wouldn't be able to get another word out. Blake's touch, as he held his hand, definitely helped. And him agreeing to go outside helped too. Andy just felt like he needed air, needed some space between him and his childhood home, so full of memories and thoughts, and sadness. As soon as they were outside, Andy could feel himself taking deeper breathes, the feeling of being closed in going away. He stared up at the sky, at the few clouds that dotted the blue, the sight helping him to stay calm. Andy let Blake lead them on their walk, closing his eyes for a moment, and drawing in the fresh air, the scent of trees and grass. It was so much easier to concentrate, out here.

"I don’t believe that anyone does." Blake stated lightly, trying to keep up with Andy’s softened tone. Blake’s expression remained still, he wasn’t sure if he should be frowning or smiling at his fiance’s comment. There was no point in competing with Luke, he shared a different bond with Andy, but there was a sense of victory that washed over him upon hearing that Andy wanted to talk to him. It wasn’t against Luke. He just liked knowing that he was important too, that their relationship was moving in a good direction. A sigh left Blake’s shoulders rolling but he tried not to draw attention to himself, "He’s your brother. I’m sure that Jack will understand. I have faith that he’ll assess the situation with an open mind." Blake wanted the fight to be dealt with appropriately and he hoped that Jack would make the right decision on both Andy and Sam’s behalf.

Andy let out a small chuckle, at Blake's response to his joke. He kept the smile on his face, as he looked at Blake. He was just so sweet, helping him like this, getting the ice pack, and talking to him. Even if it was different than what Andy had with Luke, Andy thought it was just as nice, if not better. As Blake mentioned Jack again, Andy's grin disappeared for a moment. He didn't like that they were disagreeing about this one point, but he was glad that it seemed like Blake didn't want to discuss it anymore. If it really was a problem, then they could discuss it later. Right now, Andy just wanted to relax, and get his mind off the fight. It still made him feel rather embarrassed, though Blake was helping him, by distracting. Especially as he spoke again, calling Andy handsome.

Blake’s footsteps were soft against the floor as he continued his trek through the Simmons’ house. He didn’t want to disturb Andy’s family and hoped that his call to his fiancé had been loud enough. It turned out that he didn’t have to go far because Andy was sitting outside of the dining room. Blake stopped and let Andy come to him. Andy had obviously been crying and any attempts to hide the fact were erased once they embraced each other as tears began to fill Andy’s eyes. Blake pulled away, a comforting but brief smile appeared across his face, and he swiped under Andy’s eyes. “You don’t have to thank me, Andy. I’m here because you need me and I love you.” Blake wanted to be there for his fiancé but it would have been a lie had he said he wanted to be in his parent’s house. He wished that he could take Andy away from everything, including whatever had happened to Luke but he didn’t let himself flee.

Andy couldn't bring himself to return Blake's smile, which was so sweet and comforting. He appreciated the way that Blake was happy to support Andy, though, letting him cry in his arms. Andy closed his eyes, as Blake wiped away his tears, letting the man touch him so gently and kindly. Andy realized that no matter how this was, no matter how much pain he was going through, having Blake here to hold him would just make it easier to get through. If anyone knew Andy as well as Luke, it was Blake, and he knew how to make Andy feel better, even if he didn't realize it. "I love you too." Andy said, his voice heavy with emotion. It meant so much to him that Blake had been willing to come to his home, to comfort him.

Blake didn’t like feeling as though he was scolding his boyfriend. He was older than him, though not by much, but that didn’t mean he was in the right place. Everything he had said needed to be heard though and he was glad to have it off of his chest. He was sorry that his fiance had been hit in the face but it could have been a lot worse. “I think you’ve learned your lesson for the day.” Blake smiled softly, he thought if he didn’t react strongly to the situation that it would help Andy calm his nerves. He scanned Andy’s face for a moment, his eyes lingering over the injury, “I think the swelling is starting to go down.” Blake couldn’t say it for certain but he wanted Andy to believe that it was true. 

Andy gave Blake a small smile, when he spoke. "Yeah, a lesson. I don't think I like being punched in the face." He joked, before wincing again as he shifted the ice pack. "I will do better, though. It's just been hard, not having Luke around, to talk to. He always made me feel calmer about these sorts of things. But talking to you is good too." Andy quickly added, looking up at Blake. He didn't want his fiance to think he preferred the company of his twin brother over him. It was just hard to explain the way that Luke and Andy could easily talk, and understand each other. Not that Blake couldn't do the same. As Blake mentioned the swelling, Andy smiled again. "Good. I don't want to walk into the garage tomorrow looking a mess. I don't want to have to explain to Jack what happened. It's not fair to get Sam in trouble for this. It was stupid for both of us."

Blake couldn’t help but blush at the sight of Andy’s wide expression. He was positive that he carried a grin of his own but it couldn’t have competed. Blake didn’t want to let go of his fiance’s hand, although he knew he’d have to once their meals arrived, because he felt as if it would somehow take away their perfect moment. He had never felt happier. Blake was honestly surprised by his parent’s reactions, although he had assumed that they’d be happy for them he had not expected them to be so enthusiastic. He certainly wasn’t complaining though. It did, however, remind him of all the years he had wasted by not telling them the truth. He was amazed by how wonderful life had turned out for him and didn’t want to trade his relationship with Andy for the world but sometimes wished he could have handled things better. Blake gave Andy’s hand a quick squeeze as he pulled himself back into reality. There was no point in worrying about things he couldn’t change, especially when he had been given so much.

Andy was glad to see the food arrive. It seemed as though the relief of telling Blake's parents, and knowing that they approved of their plans for marriage, had caused Andy to suddenly regain his appetite. The anxiety was gone, and so Andy felt like he could relax around Blake's parents. They actually approved of him, wanted them to get married, and that was more than Andy had ever hoped for. He wanted to celebrate, and was glad to eat. He respected the comfortable silence that followed, though, knowing that Blake's family was a bunch for few words. He didn't mind the quiet, feeling that it was only fair to respect the Carlyle's habit of silence. He knew that most families weren't as rowdy as his were, and he knew he was probably going to be spending many more meals with his future in-laws.

Blake kept his hand pressed against the ice pack, an expression of relief spread across his lips as Andy told him that it was helping. He listened carefully as Andy began to tell him what had lead to his injury. His shoulders softened as he sighed quietly to himself. Blake knew that Andy didn’t get along with Sam but he never understood why. The boy wasn’t an outstanding citizen or anything but he didn’t think Andy needed to take it personally. It had never been a big enough issue for Blake to bring up before but now he was wondering if he should ask. It just seemed unlikely that Sam’s criminal behavior was the root of Andy’s issues with him. Unless, of course, he was harming the garage in some way but as far a he knew that wasn’t the case. Jack would have put a stop to it, he assumed or at least hoped. He refrained from saying anything until Andy was finished though because he didn’t want to interrupt his fiance. 

Andy shifted in his chair, pulling the ice pack away for a moment, to wipe gently at his cheek, trying to keep his hands busy. He didn't like thinking about this anymore. He felt sick to his stomach, reliving it all for Blake. He knew he had messed up, that part of it was his fault, and he felt ashamed by how far he had gone. He breathed in and out, knowing that he had to own up to the words he had said, but still feeling guilty. But Blake didn't seem as upset as Andy had expected, to hear the story. He was putting his hand on Andy's shoulder, and then pulling him close. Andy didn't resist the touch, feeling relieved at being embraced, at knowing that Blake was going to stick with him, despite the whole fight.

Half As Much - Andy & Blake

Andy had been sitting with his family, in the dining room, as Jack and his mother discussed funeral arrangements. It was difficult to talk about this, to make it all a reality. Especially when Luke was so young, had never expressed any wishes of his own about his funeral. Especially when the news and shock was still fresh in all of their minds, and Julie and Ruby kept breaking out into tears. Especially when they didn't even have a body to bury in the family's funeral plot, no body to place next to their father. Andy hated that the most. He didn't even have a final chance to see his brother, dead or alive. He hadn't had a chance to say goodbye to his twin brother, to the person who shared his face and DNA. The one person Andy knew completely, and who knew him in return.

Blake’s mother declared that it was wonderful that Luke would be returning soon. Afterwards his parents left the topic alone in order to answer some of Andy’s questions. He was more comfortable with this, perhaps because it gave his fiance a moment of rest, though it felt as if there was something else. It soon dawned on him that he was genuinely interested in what his parents had been up to recently. Blake was a bit ashamed of how often he went without talking to them. His father spoke about his retirement and how he had planned a train trip to Seattle recently. He also offered to build Blake a birdhouse, two which Blake graciously declined because he honestly didn’t know what he’d do with one. It wasn’t as though he had a yard. His mother chimed in and told them about all the birds that had come along since Richard had started building houses for them. Blake had never seen is mom so excited, he found it endearing.

Andy felt a small sense of relief as Blake's parents moved on from the subject of Luke. It was still so hard for him to talk about Luke, when he missed his twin brother so desperately. He knew that Luke was going to be coming home soon, within the next few months, but Andy still couldn't help the ache he felt, when he thought about his brother. He had never imagined that he was going to have to be apart from him for so long. Besides, Andy was much happier to listen to the Carlyle's talk.

Blake rummaged through the freezer for an ice pack. He had bought a few while his headaches were still bad but he never really thought that they’d come in handy again. Upon hearing that his fiancee had gotten into a fight the bookstore owner stopped looking in the freezer for a moment. He turned to Andy, “Are you serious?” It shouldn’t have been surprising to him, and if he thought about it then he would have realized that it wasn’t, but his jaw still dropped ever so slightly. “I’m honestly appalled.” Blake grabbed an ice pack and picked up a chair to position in front of Andy. “May I ask who hit you?” There were very few options and he highly doubted that it was Emily or Julie. Physically, it could have been Jack but that seemed unlikely as well. 

Andy flushed as Blake turned to look at him, as he searched in the freezer to find an ice pack. He felt rather ashamed of it all. That guilt and shame was probably worse than the pain in his jaw, and the flush made heat rush through his face. The blood pounded and he winced again, sitting down abruptly, feeling incredibly defeated. He held onto the counter for support, his mind still in a buzz, the thoughts rushing even faster now that his breathing had started to slow and he was sitting. The adrenaline was leaving his system, finally, and it made the pain more prominent, and his thoughts even dizzier. As Blake spoke, Andy blushed more, unsure if he wanted to give out any more details. It was an embarrassing and uncomfortable situation for Andy, to think about. He knew he had messed up, that it was his fault that he had gotten punched, but he wasn't sure how to explain everything that had happened.

Blake got off the phone with his fiance and closed his store for the day. He wasn’t sure what had happened but Andy had told him to meet him at  home. His heart felt tight inside of his chest as he drove away from the shop. Blake’s mind became overwhelmed with concern as he ran through possible negative occurrences. It was easy to tell that something bad had happened but the specifics were unknown to Blake so he could only speculate. Perhaps Andy had fallen ill, or there was an injury at work, and then he thought about his future brother and law and Blake got really worried. Blake pressed down on his gas pedal, not enough to break the speed limit but enough to get home a little faster. His store was closer to his home than the garage was so he expected that he’d arrive before Andy but he wanted to make sure just in case. 

Andy had called Blake, while he had driven home, and was glad to hear his fiance's voice call out in response, once he got inside. The sound was almost like a pain reliever in itself, soothing and gentle and familiar. He stepped closer to the living room, wanting to close the space between them sooner. He staggered in Blake's embrace, the warmth and support so sudden and surprising. He felt so relieved to be in Blake's arms, that he wanted to sit down right there, on the floor, and just be cradled for a moment. He stayed standing, though, and let Blake lead him to the kitchen, not replying to his exclamations yet. When the two of them reached the tiled room, Andy sat down at one of the chairs, at the breakfast table, not wanting to stand anymore.

Blake wished that he could convince Andy that he had nothing to be worried about but truth be told he was a little nervous himself. It wasn’t a negative feeling, he was very excited to tell his parents about the engagement, but it was a huge commitment and one he hoped his parents would be supportive of. Andy brought up their rings and Blake looked down at them, “I love them.” They were wonderful to look at in his opinion but more importantly he was enamored with the meaning behind them. They were a nothing more than shiny pieces of metal, if you wanted to get technical, but they represented the life they’d soon be sharing.  Blake couldn’t wait to get married, he had struggled to remain calm over the past few weeks and he was starting to wonder if this was how Andy often felt about things. “I believe my parents will feel the same.” He coudn’t speak with certainty but it was the outcome he was longing for. 

Andy felt warm again, as Blake commented on the rings. He appreciated that Blake liked them so much. They weren't the fanciest ones, or the most expensive. Andy had spent as much as he felt comfortable on the rings, even going above his budget, splurging for him and Blake. He wanted Blake to be happy, at least with the rings, even if Andy had a hard time affording much else for them. It was an especially sore spot for Andy, who hated that he couldn't help more with paying bills or food, or whatever else they needed. Andy wasn't exactly the most ideal person to marry, with a job that was going nowhere, and a family that barely supported itself. But Blake had said yes, and even said that he loved the rings. Andy just hoped that Blake's parents felt the same way about him, that they would accept his and Blake's relationship and future together. Blake's words comforted Andy, even if they weren't completely certain. No matter what, Andy would have Blake's hands to hold onto. They were in this together, for better or worse.

Did I miss something?

You didn't hear about the accident?