space and memes

everyone on the block hates me because I have to take my pet loose sheet of aluminum siding on a walk every day at 3am

gen z is trying to cancel the mysterious and horrible obelisk im building at the edge of town

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

Every time I go they put me in a chair and they say look into this machine there's a hot air balloon or a farmhouse in there and I do and I'm like you're right I see it and they're like yeah keep admiring that hot air balloon or farmhouse and I do and I'm like this shit's quaint as fuck and then do you know what happens next they attack me they jumpscare me with air directly into my eyeballs and i fall out the chair and they say sorryyyy but they're NOT they wanted this to happen they KNEW about the jumpscare well now I'm wise to it now I know better when I go in and they say look at this bodacious hot air balloon I'm like NO WAY DUDE that balloon wishes me harm have at thee and I attack them and push them on the ground and spit on them

a moment of silence for my roommate who has to endure me doing linguistics homework. out loud. making sounds with parts of my mouth and throat I didn’t even realise I could use to make sounds. repeatedly and with passion

i think the moment of silence needs to come directly from you on this one

stayed up till nearly 4am binge watching ‘finding her edge’ only to be absolutely ragebaited WHAT WAS THAT LAST EPISODE

yes I DO live under a rock and her name is the Moon and she is always smiling but she teaches me nothing

tarot reader: draws the tower me: thats bad isnt it tarot reader: draws the tower again me: uh oh tarot reader: draws boeing 767

certified chicken post

it's so hardcover –> we're so paperback

i hope this email kills us both instantly