some more hcs about this bc i always take chinese neil content and sprint with it (these are based off my personal experiences - i meant to finish and post this earlier but better late than never)
neilās heritage language is mandarin but mary never saw the need to teach him - they didnāt go to china while on the run and it just wasnāt something she passed onto him. therefore heās not fluent in mandarin
the only thing neil can write in mandarin is his name, wang kaihe
on the run they didnāt get to celebrate occasions like chinese new year (traditionally it lasts 2 weeks with a lot of festivities and family visits, paying respects to your ancestors, sharing red envelopes, decorating, etc) - eventually neil just became very indifferent to the whole thing
in general heās just very removed from his culture. itās not his own fault - it just isĀ not a priority for him. but that doesnāt mean he canāt reconnect or feel for it now
he doesnāt really think much of it until the chinese students at psu start holding celebrations for CNY. he thinks back to all the times on the run when mary would wear red around CNY, when she would frown at him for wearing anything white. when one year she gave him a red string bracelet to keep (to keep away bad luck) yet he lost it in a confrontation with his father
neil begins doing his own research, and itās strange because he doesnāt know why it bothers him now that he doesnāt know much about these customs. that he can only look back in hindsight to see all the tiniest bits of their culture that mary afforded them to keep
neil doesnāt feel ashamed of his heritage - he just hasnāt thought about it enough to have an opinion on it at all
but he misses it. he doesnāt know exactly what heās missing, but he knows heās missing a lot. and it hurts in a way that you feel empty and have no idea where to start to even try filling that void
so he calls his uncle one day. stuart is chinese and while he has his own issues with his identity to deal with (being chinese in england), heās had a longer time to come to terms with it
so stuart tells neil some stories about how mary, his brothers, and he would celebrate chinese new year. how they would cut moon cakes into four even portions when mid-autumn festival came around and look at the moon in the garden. he tells neil what their family name means
stuart also ends up dragging neil out to get bubble tea with him whenever he visits. because #subtleasiantraits. but neil actually really dislikes bubble tea, but he really likes spending time with stuart and learning more about where he came from - so heāll tolerate it
he tries celebrating chinese new year in his own way, a little step at a time. he wears more red instead of orange that day. he learns more mandarin. he joins the chinese students association at psu and theyāre just so hyped to have one of the foxes in their ranksĀ
he ends up double majoring in math and asian american studies!
for mid-autumn festival he shares moon cake with his family (but when he gets one with egg yolk in the middle he definitely carves it out because that egg yolk is nasty ok)
itās an ongoing process but the more time passes, the more neil feels okay with it. heās not feeling that guilt anymore, of having lost his heritage. heās enjoying the process of relearning his language, his culture, his history - without the ever-present need to just survive
neil likes being chinese. heās proud of it
