Drowning in Depression: Decoding the Stigma
The wave crashes.
Trashing you head first into the depths.
You gasp for air. Â Water fills your lungs. Â Youâre drowning.
You flail. Â You kick. Â You fight. Â Youâre still drowning.
Light begins to fade to dark.
Darker, darker, darknessâŚ
I once read that depression is like drowning â drowning while you watch everyone else swim. Â All the while you think: Why canât I swim like they can? Â Why canât I reach the surface? Â Why me?
I can also attest: depression feels like drowning. Â I know from first-hand experience. Â I know from my own major depression.
Yesterday was a day of much personal reflection â as Bell launched it âLetâs Talkâ campaign to change the dialogue around mental health. Â To fundamentally shift our perceptions, to battle the âstigmaâ. Â
Stigma was a word that I read over, and over, and over again. Â It struck me not because of the âstigmaâ Iâve personally experienced, and now have a deep understanding of, but rather because itâs difficult for me to intellectualize âwhy?â thereâs any stigma at all.
Iâve thought about this âwhy?â a lotâŚ
What Iâve come to is this: somewhere in the evolution of Western medicine, the body was divided into separate parts. Physicians specialized in those parts: kidneys, hearts, lungs, ears, noses, throats, the list goes on.Â
The brain was no exception. Â Part of the brain went to neuroscience and neurology, part went to psychiatry and psychology. Â The latter â put in a literal and figurative corner. Â The corner for the crazy people.
For decades, maybe better described as centuries, the mind and body were split. Â Physical health and mental health were two distinct entities, separated by physical, societal, and financial barriers. Â
But here in lies the confusing bit: arenât physical and mental health one-and-the-same?
The brain is a physical entity. Â It is part of our body. Â It is an organ. Â And like every other organ, like every part of the body, it is not immune to injury. It is not immune to illness. Â It is not immune to disease.Â
So, why then, is there stigma toward those with brain injuries, diseases, and illnesses? Â Do we have stigma towards those with kidney disease? Â Heart disease? Â Lung disease? Â Of course not. Â We intellectualize those as âbody partsâ, but on the other hand struggle to see the brain as a âbody partâ.Â
This is why I reframe mental illness to an illness of the brain. Â Not of the mind. Â Not of the person.
I believe we have this stigma, this lack of understanding, because the brain, unlike any other organ, has a direct correlation with human behaviour. Â With personality. Â With the mind.
Itâs often the inability of those suffering from these ailments â and those supporting these sufferers â to disconnect the illness from behaviour that causes such deep frustration, misunderstanding, and stigma. Â Itâs the crazy part.
When we reframe our thinking, we can fundamentally change how we approach âmental illnessâ. Â We begin to see how the brain can get its version of a cold, that the brain can have permanent deficiencies or impairments, that external stress and internal chemicals can have a profound effect on what our brain does - in a moment and over a lifetime.
At its core, the human body is a complex system. Â It is not Lego made up of distinct building blocks. Â That complex system is controlled by the brain, itâs communication pathway the central nervous system. Â It is our own version of an operating system, the O/S that regulates our entire body, the foundation for our consciousness.
So it should be no surprise that peoplesâ thoughts, behaviours, and feelings can become impaired. Â People can feel low, people can feel like theyâre drowning, people can seem âcrazyâ (based on our perceptions of whatâs ânormalâ).Â
As we look to the next 363 days until Bellâs 2018 âLetâs Talkâ campaign, I challenge you to reframe how you define mental health and mental illness. Â Do not think of it as separate, as distinct from physical health and physical illness. Eliminate the stigma by thinking of the body as a system, with the brain as its central player, and appreciate that the brain is inherently vulnerable. Â Thatâs what makes it â and us â human. Â
Now - Iâd like to close with one last thought: a thank you.
Thank you to my family, friends, colleagues, medical professionals, and countless strangers for throwing me a life line. Â For giving me the space to re-learn how to swim. Â For dragging me out of the depths. Â Bringing me back to the surface. Â
It is because of you that I lightly tread water, patiently waiting to ride the next wave.
#SickNotWeak
2 / 52











