Thoughts of a human

Most of my life I’ve been certain of what I want to do which is making this world a better place and becoming a figure of change in the world. However, I am starting to think that it might not be the case for me because I’m not sure of what I want anymore. Is that really my goal. Do I really enjoy doing research. Because it sure as hell doesn’t feel like it right now. Maybe I have to push through difficult moments and that’s just something I have to learn. We’ll see what happens. Meanwhile I will focus on being healthier, getting my strength and body back, and creating good habits to replace the bad ones. 

Will it happen? Will I make it? What will I learn if it does happen? Don’t get ahead of yourself Andrea. Only the future Andrea will know wether you did it or not. But this is a current promise to myself. I will do what I can to make it possible.

I imagined myself telling my sister I smoke weed to get creative sometimes and of her scolding me about how drugs can make you happy but only temporarily and that’s why you get addicted to them. You’re craving a temporary happiness or satifaction instead of treating the root problem. I imagined myself telling her that happiness is temporary but creativity is eternal. If I have a cool thought or idea because of this herb this idea or thought will last forever. I don’t smoke it for happiness I smoke it for introspectiveness in my own brain.

Hoy te identificaste con esta canción.

Just had my first guiar lesson. I’m so happy I’m finally starting to learn music from an actuall teacher. Just stopped playing for a moment after playing de C scale on repeat for a few minutes and wondered how someone could’ve discovered these amazing and coherent patterns. Notice the word “discovered”. They exist. somehow. Music is a language, it’s like studying mathematics, physics, chemistry and to some extent biology. You’re like mathematicians extracting information from the cosmos which mannifests itself in the form of sound. And what astonishes me is that it always makes sense, it’s logic and coherent. I had never before seen music in such a cosmic way. As one of the languages of a supergiant entity which tryies to speak to us through it. 

Andrea Quintero

y sentir el amor y libertad que solo encontrarás dentro de ti.

Untamed by Glennon Doyle has left me thinking about how far away I am from the purity of my self. Can't believe I have been living thinking first of what others might want instead of thinking about what I want. Although I realize this, it’s hard to stop, it’s hard to start looking inside of you instead of outside when that has always been your automatic response to any situation. Stay true to yourself. Work on yourself.