I Like Things

But he doesn't know who Bad Bunny is, and Bad Bunny doesn't know who Shane is... So they're both just making small talk with this hot guy they met at the bar while they wait for their drinks. They're enjoying talking to someone who doesn't know their celebrity status. And Shane is getting a little flustered despite being married, because damn if this guy isn't his type, and Bad Bunny is lowkey flirting with him.

And then Ilya shows up and has a heart attack. Alternating between fanboying over Bad Bunny and wanting to fight him. Just standing there frozen with this bonkers expression on his face.

Shane's like, "I was the one who introduced myself to you!" With Ilya replying "yes, but I made it romantic!" And normally Shane would never admit this under penalty of death but Ilya just engaged his competitiveness over who's responsible for their relationship so he immediately throws back, "romantic? Oh, please, you jerked off in front of me and you only did that because I was already hard." Ilya then, of course, comes back with, "you wouldn't have even been in that shower if I hadn't booked you for that commercial! And you were ready to pretend to forget it until I came to your room and kissed you."

Ottawa has a fuckass nightlife but whenever they're in a city with good clubs Ilya goes out and drinks and dances and at the end of the night (the agreed upon negotiated time) Shane shows up and Ilya "picks him up" then they go back to the hotel for nasty hook up sex.