Im Drunk Currently

“Im sure if you try hard enough, you could fart in demand”-wes high as hell 3/7/2020

Tonight I was looking for gum so my boyfriend wouldn’t smell the cigarettes on my breath and I couldn’t find any so I drank a packet of Taco Bell hot sauce

I just watched my ex girlfriend give my cousin a hard on🤷‍♀️

Love that awkward silence after everyone takes a shot and they’re taking their chasers

A commercial about engagement rings made me throw up...but watching FearFactor all night where they’re eating live beetles and laying in a pit of 300,000 maggots did nothing.

Oh I made out with my boss for like 30 minutes and almost fucked the shit outta him...fun times. 3/1/2020

I did shrooms for the first time on 1/26/2020 and ladies and gentlemen...I recommend it if you’re with good people and don’t need to do anything for 6+ hours

I want to cry every time I drink this

I got too drunk tonight...I’m home and safe but I’m sure that in the morning I won’t remember very much about what happened. I know I had fun and watched everyone get tattoos and that Alison and I stole shit from Walmart so I could charge my phone in case you texted....I remember riding home listing to great throwback songs and I remember the plans for going to the water tower after we dropped Mathew off....but he decided to jump out of the car close to red for some reason......

You ever try and spit and part of it makes it as far as you expect it to but the last part falls in front of you and you make it out as a small lil guy missing his plane and just falls off the terminal gate?