Hope it gives you hell

Not mine ✨

Thin friend: I never think about food

Me:

me, not even 2 weeks later:

I decided to eat my first meal in weeks without purging this time.

My father looks at me and says: Be careful, you seem to be getting off track with your diet

Me, who was relishing in the euphoria of an aching stomach: yeah i gotcha i know exactly how that feels haha

Friend: And like I lost weight so fast, like I always drop weight so quickly and I dropped even more because I was only eating like a piece of chicken and a sandwich and cereal every day, and I just dropped so much weight so easily I don’t get it

Me, reaching up to touch my collar bone for comfort: ah haha yeah i gotcha (‘: i get it haha (‘:

Friend after going on about how quick she loses weight for five more minutes: I’m not making you sad by talking about my eating disorder from last year am I ):

Scale: +5lbs

5. I made myself throw up (in a field) after running for an hour because I didn’t feel that my run has burned a sufficient amount of calories.

4. I ate things like soap, shampoo, expired milk, raw egg etc. in order to feel nauseous (none worked lol)

3. I shoved my hand down a toilet that I had clogged by flushing food because I couldn’t ask my mum for the toilet plunger as she’d see my un eaten dinner in the loo.

2. i took an od on some pill that’s a pain killer but that makes you throw up if you take too many purely so I could vomit shit tons

1. i purposely swallowed some of my vomit so Id feel nauseous enough to throw up a second time.

An eating disorder is not something you want. I promise.

inner me: you know if you continue your binging and restricting cycle you'll never get to be "skinny" and youll be trapped in this hell until you die

me:

“Tony eats 1200 calories a day of energy drinks and chocolates and weighs in at 6 stone”

Me: *eating 500 calories a day of protein and veggies and gaining weight*