Shana Amsel

.I don’t really lose anything. I sometimes can’t see where something is, cause my vision is so bad, but that’s a whole other story. I think he’s really happy. I don’t know, but when thing’s weren’t great with my family. I still looked forward to seeing my grandparents, cause they seemed like the happiest people I knew when I was little, so I hope he’s still happy. That seems to obvious to be right….which means it probably is. 

I try to do the same too, but sometimes I can’t stop the stuff that comes out of my mouth. No one really had a normal upbringing and if they did, it seems boring. Having a dysfunctional family, did at least help me be stronger. 

No, I haven’t actually. I usually just sass him. I don’t think I’ve ever asked him to stop doing something. If I did. it’s have to be serious. Are you going to get a pet now that you’re staying? That’s true, but you never know how committed someone could be when it comes to a lie. 

Are you supposed to be wearing glasses? I always enjoyed seeing my grandparents as well. It was nice to get off the road sometimes. Well, then, I hope he is happy too! I'm going to say that it's right.

I think that happens to everyone. Although, I'm more often told to speak up rather than be quiet. Except for Sam, he told me I was too loud. I couldn't tell if he was joking or not. I'm sure those with a "normal" life may dream of something more. I think the challengers we face each day are what make us who we are the next day and without them, we'd never grow as people. 

It would be serious to me. Although, your babies are young. I don't know if they can have hurt feelings yet. It's something that I've definitely considered. I'd find it hard to keep up with a lie. Unless, maybe, it was just a tiny one to make someone feel better. I don't want people to be sad.

There never is. That’s really funny. That’s like when people lose their keys and they’re in their hands. My grandpa is sort of not all there. I heard he was lucid when he was younger, but I’m not sure I believe it. With each other? Yeah. My dad for some reason has this need to screw with Sam all the time. He likes to push Sam’s buttons. No they don’t cut hair. Do you even know why they’re called barber shop quartets, cause I have no idea. 

That’s the right way to go about thing’s. Not everyone is as smart as you, unfortunately. They aren’t being pushed at all. It’s always nice to know there’s something more. I never had traditions really. My childhood was a little too dysfunctional. 

No it isn’t. I hate when he calls them that. Yeah they do.I have two cats and them and all four compete for who gets more sleep. I’m not going to force them to wake up or anything. Even if they’re still asleep, you should at least see who I’m talking about so you don’t start to think they aren’t real. That’s good to hear. I used to never worry about people’s driving, but considering everything it’s better to be safe. I think you’re being too nice about it. If Sam had done that to me, there would be another ring shaped mark in his arm. Yeah that’s why it bugs me too. I would have turned around. 

My dad does that sometimes, or they're in the ignition. He will look everywhere else and I never know if I should say anything or let him figure it out on his own. Do you think he's happy? Even though he's not lucid? Because that's all that really matters most of the time. That's not nice either. I have no idea. I was thinking that they may have performed outside of barbershops? . 

I like to treat people the same way that I would like them to treat me. A little dysfunction just adds spice to our life. Not everyone's childhood will be the same, though I don't wish anyone's past or present to be terrible. 

Have you asked him to stop? Animals are precious. I could never have a pet growing up because we couldn't keep one in our van. I'll be quiet. I believed you, putting car seats in the back of a car would be way too elaborate.

That sounds like a very dad thing to say, which is nice to hear. My grandpa doesn’t offer good advice like that. He accused Sam of stealing the Liberty Bell once. He’s been around more now than he used to, which is a big step. Him and I don’t fight as much as we used to, but that could be because he saves a lot of his fighting for Sam. That’s true, but I’ve never heard of a traveling barber before, so it’s probably better that it was music. 

That’s good to hear. I tend to worry about what people say, cause to be entirely honest the people in my family don’t always have the best reputations. It was terrible what happened, but I’ve realized lately that I can’t stop. I have to keep moving forward for my kids. I wasn’t raised religious, but I know there are thing’s we can’t explain so I’m always open for thing’s like that and I agree. I think having kids really helped a lot of thing’s in my life. I’ve stopped being as reckless. 

He calls them blobs. Well Sidney not so much since hes starting to move around more, but he calls Simon “blob.”  They should be waking up soon. We can always check on them if you want to see them? I don’t mind vans as long as they are safe. A half hour? That’s really excessive. I don’t know if he did actually forget or not, but I’m apprehensive about that situation. Yes it’s an invitation. Yes please do.

It doesn't sound like there's ever a dull moment, though! My grandpa only ever accuses people of stealing his glasses. They are usually on his head. Are they both confrontational? I've heard of a Barbershop Quartlet before. I don't think they cut hair though. Or travel...do you know?

Well, I think that I'd rather get to know someone before I listen to their reputation. I was raised with a lot of traditions in mind and I do have beliefs. I didn't want to seem like I was pushing anything on you, but I think I agree with my grandma. It seems fitting for you. 

That isn't very nice at all. Oh? I'd love to. I don't want to wake them up too early, babies probably need a lot of sleep right? Maybe if we're quiet. My dad's van is old but I think it's safe. We take care of it. Sam said he thought I was right behind them. He must have been distracted. I would have turned back right away if someone didn't show up. 

I’ve heard that too and also I know from experience. My grandparents are pretty cool. My dad was just the kind of person who never wanted kids and then he got me. I would hope he’d treat my kids better than he treated me, otherwise I might put holes in all of his tires of his car. Really? I heard that  if you can play drums other instruments are easier to learn after that. Yeah, definitely, cause I was a lot different almost two years ago. I just think it makes the most sense if I ever did go back to school, but who knows what’ll happen in a couple years. 

If I say it’s fine, it makes it sound like it wasn’t a big deal,but I there’s nothing to worry about by bringing anything up. I’m sure it’s been brought up in even the smallest ways. As long as the bits and pieces you heard were truth though. It is amazing, cause I didn’t think I’d ever leave my bedroom after it happened and then thing’s just started to happen over time. Finding out I was pregnant again sort of messed with me, but I realized that I had to get my shit together if I was going to make sure two babies were going to be taken care of. If I didn’t have them, thing’s would have been worse.   

That is a good motivator. Showers are a luxury people take for granted sometimes.  Yell at the babies? No never. He’s really nice to them except for his nicknames for them. He drives like he’s part of some cross country race and I don’t get it,but Sam is the only ride I have most times. He puts the baby lock on you? I think it’s easier to relate to a song as opposed to a painting. Thank you. Well there’s time to make friends since your staying in one place. I know a lot of people in town, so it should be pretty easy. 

Sometimes you just have to grow up and accept the responsibilities. But that's just what my dad says sometimes. He probably learned it from my grandpa. I think your dad should be around because he's their grandpa but I think you've given him more of a reason to be around. That might be true. I'm not sure. I think it helps that I was raised around music. If my dad had been a barber maybe I'd be able to cut my own hair better. Yeah, who knows. We can only plan and dream. Or, get a flat tire and end up 20 miles from our destination. 

Okay, I believe you. I think that I understand, it's not an easy situation but it's not as hard as it used to be. I don't know if everything was truthful, but it wasn't anything bad. Well, outside of it being a accident because that is bad. My grandma would have said your kids are a blessing, I'm not sure if you're religious or not. I don't think it really has much to do with religion though. 

I know what you mean. Okay. That makes me feel better. What does he call them? I can't wait to see them, well, I can because I don't want to wake them up, but it'll be nice when they do wake up. I could drive you. If he's busy and If you don't mind a van. Maybe he doesn't like being late? Yes. I got locked inside of his car for almost half an hour recently. He said it was an accident. He seemed sincere about it... I'd love to meet some of your friends! Was that an invitation? I still promise to keep your secret to myself. It's safe with me.

I think it was something that was bound to come up. How are you to know thing’s if the questions aren’t asked, so honestly it’s not a problem. I’ve had a long time to be sad about a lot of thing’s, but I have a tendency to bounce back. I think losing someone no matter what the circumstances are is upsetting. It isn’t out of line. It’s something horrible that happened, but I’m starting to come out on the other side of it. Had it been eight months ago I would have been in my room not wanting to come out, so you caught me in a better place than I had been 

I guess travelling in a van most of your life has it’s benefits. You have an easy way to learn how to drive. I tend to yell at him when were in a car together so I’m not sure if he’s going to succeed it teaching me to drive. He’s not the best at keeping someone from feeling sick in a car. I don’t know how the babies don’t throw up when he drives like that. Painting is probably fun even if there’s no reason behind it. Like if you try hard to make something have meaning, it comes off pretentious. Painting can just be something fun to do and I like that. I was bad in art class though. He’s helped keep me alive and I owe forever for that, so while Sam can be a little bit much to deal with he has a good heart. Don’t tell him I said that. I probably wont hear the end of it.  

I don't know how true this is but I've read somewhere that sometimes parents do better with their grand kids than with their own children. It's easier to recognize their mistakes by then. It might not even be true, though. I read a lot when I travel and I've read some pretty bizarre stuff because if it. I think that what's important is that he's making an effort at least. Yeah, I don't know either. I've tried not to worry about it. I don't think they're complicated at all! They were the easiest for me to learn and I never got tired of playing them. But it's been years, maybe I would have felt differently if I started later. I hope so. When you become a mom I think that you have to give up a part of yourself in order to take care of them. I don't think that i would mind though. Music journalism does sound pretty cool. Maybe you could keep it in mind, just in case?

Well, I'm glad you're in a happier place now. I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that. I might know who died, at least what happened, but I've only heard bits and pieces since I moved here. I'm just putting them together, in my head. The pieces..You don't have to tell me anything. I'm just.. thinking out loud. I think it's kind of amazing how we can move on from tragedies. I'm sure having your kids has helped. I know I'd want to move forward if I had them.

When your dad's too tired to drive to the nearest hotel and you really want a shower... there's your motivation. Oh, I see. That's terrible! He doesn't yell at the babies right? I'm afraid to get sick in his car. I just sort of stick my head out of the window. Except when he puts the baby lock on... Maybe they're used to it. A painting might have meaning to the artist but I've never looked at a painting of a tree and seen anything more. I'm more likely to identify with a lyric to a song, even if I didn't write it. I'll keep it between you and me. I think I'm a good secret keeper. Then again, I don't have many people to share them with. 

Don’t worry about it. I…How were you to know if you didn’t ask? There isn’t like a look or a sign for people who have been widowed. It’s getting easier to talk about now. I mean it still sucks every day, but every day gets a little easier. So you don’t have to apologize for asking. 

That’s a slight relief. I don’t even have my license. People have tried teaching me to drive, but it never works. I have this thing where I fight the person trying to teach me to drive. I usually start yelling at who gives me orders. That’s really cute. I think all kids get paint everywhere. I think I did when I was little. Well not biologically. Were cousins. Our dads are brothers. It;s a long story, but he’s more like a brother to me than anything. He’s a pain in the ass, but I’m grateful for him. 

I shouldn't have asked about him, it wasn't my place. Thanks for not getting upset about it though, I would have felt even worse. I'm sure, my dad was heart broken when my mom and him broke up. I was little, but I still remember. So I don't know how bad it must be for you. I'm sorry if it's out of line for me to even say anything about it, I've never dealt with anything like this before. 

My dad taught me. He was a little paranoid at first but he calmed down after awhile. Has Sam tried to teach you how to drive? I don't think you should let him. He makes me carsick. Paintings not fun unless you can paint yourself and everything around you. That's neat, it must be nice to have someone.