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Times are tough; Have a Bat
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why tf was this thing so tantalizing like am i the only one who wanted to eat it
Rich Chocolate Ice Cream
Junji Eato
boy that sure is some creepy pasta
This is my lunch. It was made for me.

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noone:
that one teammate who got the charger on a griller wave:
toby fox you brave brave man
ExtraćNo.ļ¼
ā”ā”
No.1

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meow meow meow meow
Pancakes!!
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Her name is Noelle, a white tigeršÆš¤It is one of my OC's!
ā¼Art without text is in X!ā¼
ā¼About Spoofed Art Thievesā¼
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pubby tries to learn to meow!

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why do you ship chell and glados if glados is basically her mom
Okay this is actually a pretty common misconception in the fandom that unfortunately a lot of people have taken as canon, but Iām feeling nice so Iāll answer your question.
Basically, anon is referencing a theory from around 2012 that Caroline is Chellās mom. The evidence for the theory is as follows:
- The turret opera calls ChellĀ ābambinaā, which meansĀ ālittle girlā in Italian
- Chellās name can be found on a Bring Your Daughter To Work Day science project
- GLaDOS references the possibility of Chell being adopted multiple times
- GLaDOS is significantly nicer to Chell after discovering sheās CarolineĀ
And, anon, youāre right, it does sound like a pretty good argument at first glance. The problem is that a lot of these points donāt actually hold up to scrutiny.
For example, although ābambinaā literally translates toĀ ālittle girl,ā itās often used in the same wayĀ ābaby girlā is used in English - it can mean child, but contextually itās usually a flirtatious term. (Source: Cambridge Dictionary)
For Chellās science project, it doesnāt work as evidence for the theory because GLaDOS killed the scientists around 1998-ish, when Caroline had presumably been uploaded several years earlier and Cave was already dead. Also, Chellās in her 20ā²s, and since we know from Lab Rat/Portal 2 that people donāt age in stasis, and that Doug put Chell at the top of the test subject list only weeks after the takeover, Chell was 28 at the time of the takeover. The science project is really only an Easter egg and doesnāt actually fit into the canon timeline let alone prove anything about Caroline and Cave.Ā
GLaDOS talking about Chell being adopted is a pretty strong point, Iāll admit, but also itās important to remember that maybe half of what GLaDOS says is true. And even if we take what she says at face value, she also says thereās a man and a woman in stasis with Chellās last name, which could not have been Cave and Caroline because they were already dead at that point. And the official book Final Hours Of Portal 2 confirms Cave and Caroline were not married and could not have shared the same name anyway. It was also the 50ā²s, an an unmarried couple of two likely famous people having a child wouldāve been scandalous, and yet we see no hint of something like this affecting their company.Ā
Also, although GLaDOS is nicer to Chell after the Caroline reveal, thatās not necessarily indicative of a mother-daughter relationship, and neither is any of their interactions. Itās just. GLaDOS being friendlier.Ā
Finally, when this theory was made (and letās be honest - it still is happening) Chell was constantly whitewashed to hell and back.Ā
Chell is Japanese-Brazilian, and Cave and Caroline are white, so it would be a near impossibility for her to be their biological child (and insisting otherwise is kinda. just. whitewashing). And although people will cryĀ āadoption!ā, based on what Iāve previously proven, thatās pretty much impossible. This theory that somehow sheās Cave and Carolineās daughter erases an important part of her identity. [Disclaimer, I am white, but this is what Iāve heard from around the fandom]
With all that said, the idea that sheās the daughter of Cave and Caroline really doesnāt hold weight when you really analyze the canon. Itās surface level analysis that doesnāt hold up. And honestly? The idea kinda cheapens the story. Itās much more powerful that GLaDOS learns to care about Chell and becomes kinder than just. Oh, she remembered sheās related to Chell.Ā
But to actually answer your ask.Ā
Why do I ship them?
Well, they arenāt mother and daughter, I think thatās pretty obvious now. But if you actually look at a lot of subtext in Portal 2, without the lens of the mother theory, itās actually pretty romantic!Ā
I know that sounds ridiculous, but bear with me!
Now - itās totally okay if you donāt ship them. I get it. Their interactions in Portal 1 and the first half of Portal 2 are toxic if not outright well. Yāknow. Murderous. I completely understand why that turns people off from shipping them, and ultimately, shipping is a personal thing. To each his own.Ā
But before you judge me, let me present my case.
Exhibit A: PortalĀ
Portal is kinda gay. No, really. Chell and GLaDOS are enemies in this game, but the entire focus is on their relationship (good or not) and the power struggle between them. They are opposites, two sides of the same coin, different representations of opposite ideologies. People have analyzed Portal as a relationship metaphor, or as a metaphor about womenās role in society - either way, the heart of Portal is the complicated dynamic between Chell and GLaDOS.Ā
Thatās not necessarily enough to code a romance, but a lot of popular (and especially popular queer ones) ships begin with opposite ideologies, symbolic powers colliding. Portal cements their relationship as a toxic one, something on the verge of falling apart and hurting both parties in the end. The ending image, of Chell and GLaDOS side by side after the battle, reinforces the symbolic parallels between the two.Ā
The companion cube is also pretty symbolically important to this interpretation. Itās literally a representation of someoneās heart, and you are told to protect it and preserve it under GLaDOSā orders, and then you have to destroy it regardless of how you actually feel about doing that. You are destroying GLaDOSā heart, so to speak.Ā
Thereās also the ending song, Still Alive. The lyrics speak for themselves.
They hint that GLaDOSā feelings about Chell are more complicated than they may appear (if sheās not being sarcastic...) and she literally talks about Chell breaking her heart (also, think back to the companion cube. Yeah.). The entire song is structurally similar to many a breakup number, with the laments ofĀ āIām glad it happened, but also leave.āĀ
At the end, we also see that the long promised cake GLaDOS was supposedly lying about was real the whole time. Before Portal 2 came out, it was mostly interpreted as a stinger ending (along with the nicer lyrics of Still Alive) to make you question GLaDOSā true motives and intentions.
She actually did have a real cake waiting for you. (Side note - not really evidence, but in Argentina,Ā ātortaā means cake in Spanish. Itās also a slang term for lesbians. So. Do with that what you will). The cake is what GLaDOS offers you to lull you into the sense that she cares about you, so discovering thatĀ āthe cake is a lieā wakes you up to the realization that she doesnāt. Except then the idea is subverted one last time, at the very end, showing that the cake is real and at least some of what she said she meant.Ā
You also see the companion cube. You know, GLaDOSā symbolic heart?
Now, okay, you might be thinking Iām extrapolating a bit too much. And you might be right. But Portal is not the only game in the series, and if youāre asking me about Cave and Caroline you obviously know about Portal 2.
Exhibit B: Portal 2
If you thought Portal was gay, Portal 2 turns that up to 11.
Even before GLaDOS wakes up, youāre treated to some visual subtext. A few of Rattmannās drawings representing the events of Portal 2 focus a lot on the relationship between GLaDOS and Chell, with more of the cake symbolism.
In this, you can see a face layered on top of GLaDOS. This could be foreshadowing about Caroline, and likely is, but also resembles his other drawing of Chell. It insists that Chell is a part of GLaDOS, or reinforces parallels between Chell and Caroline, hinting at something either way.Ā
In this picture, we also see Chell standing on top of GLaDOS, in the same position where the overlay of the feminine face was, again referencing the parallel. It also presents them as opposites, fundamental parts of the same thing and both connected to the same basis, but on opposing sides.Ā
When GLaDOS wakes up, she returns to her antagonistic role, but there are more hints to something deeper just like in Portal.Ā
Here, in her awakening lines, she references Chell not unlike an estranged ex. Also worth noting that GLaDOS is pretty much the personification of testing (in a sense, she is testing since she can control all of Aperture like an extension of her body), and insinuates that Chell loves to test. And that she reciprocates that feeling.
In test chamber 10, she says this:
Itās supposed to be threatening, but it does read as almost... sentimental.Ā
Thereās also another chamber with companion cubes in Portal 2. I already talked about their symbolism in Portal, and the same pretty much applies to them here. However, GLaDOS says something interesting about them during this level:
Once again, meant to be intimidating, ends up coming off asĀ āwell, GLaDOS, why were you going to give Chell a heart shaped representation of yourself that saysĀ āI love you?āā And you might think Iām stretching the GLaDOSā heart metaphor thing a little far here, and I might agree, if the companion cubes didnāt literally sing Cara Mia for you.Ā
Cara Mia is the turret opera from the end of the game, which is all about how much GLaDOS cares about Chell. More on that later. But the companion cubes play a song called Love as A Construct, and when you get close to them, they sing a specific part of the song that has the tune of Cara Mia. These things literally exist to sing about GLaDOSā feelings.Ā
Which makes this line a lot more. For lack of a better term. Tsundere-ish.
Then, right before the escape, she starts talking about the confetti from her fake surprise.Ā
I really donāt have to explain this one. What else does GLaDOS consider an inconvenience but might miss anyway? Or, more aptly, who else?
Then, during the escape, she teases a (fake) final test chamber in front of you, and forms the panels in the shape of a heart. No, really.Ā
Up to this point, a lot of the points Iāve presented are interspersed with a fair amount of antagonization on GLaDOSā behalf, more Foe Yay than anything actually hinting at something deeper than GLaDOS being conflicted about whether she loves or hates Chell. But things really ramp up after Wheatleyās betrayal, when the two of them are forced to team up. (I should also note here thatĀ āenemies to loversā is a pretty classic queer romance trope.)
Here, GLaDOS is put on an equal level with Chell and they have to rely on each other if they want to survive. For the rest of the singleplayer campaign, GLaDOS becomes a lot nicer and even friendly to Chell. There comes a point where she starts referring to Chell as a teammate, calling themĀ āwe.ā She begins to consider them one unit, two opposites unified. Hereās what she says after the lemon rant:
You can not only see her using we, but actively talking about how her and Chell are going to fight Wheatley together. Thereās also that last line -Ā āletās explode with some dignity.ā GLaDOS has fully accepted the very likely possibility that she and Chell might die together. That she might die on the same level, and the same team as Chell. And she seems... surprisingly okay with that, as long as she and Chell go together.Ā
Itās during the Old Aperture levels that Chell and GLaDOS also discover that they have a lot in common. This is the part of the game where GLaDOS figures out sheās Caroline, that sheās human. Or, that sheās like Chell. And Chell discovers (from what we can tell anyway) that Caroline is kind, that sheās funny and smart and so many of these things she never noticed about GLaDOS before. Now also with the knowledge she is fighting alongside another human being.Ā
You can also draw parallels between Chell and Caroline, both intelligent women ultimately betrayed by their seemingly innocuous male friends before being trapped in Aperture and forced to team up with one another in a way that will free both of them. We see that really, GLaDOS isnāt that different from Chell - she too has been imprisoned in this place against her will, but in a completely different way. Once again, the idea of two sides of the same coin applies here.Ā
Iāve written another meta about this before, but I also think the whole idea of repressing a part of your identity and hating it, before bonding with another woman and then realizing that itās okay to be like her and to be on her side. Itās okay to be yourself and meeting her is what helps you discover this new part of yourself. Is kinda inherently gay. GLaDOSā discovery of her own humanity just fits so well into a queer realization narrative, to me at least.
Then, Chell and GLaDOS escape Old Aperture and have to get through Wheatleyās tests.Ā
Here, GLaDOS isnāt just begrudgingly on Chellās team. Sheās actively helpful. She wants to help Chell solve tests, defends her from Wheatleyās insults, and makes jokes to lighten the mood. Things that can really only be explained by her caring about Chell, especially the part about the insults. See below.
After the two escape Wheatleyās testing track, right before the boss fight GLaDOS has a few other things to say.
GLaDOS is not going to betray Chell, because of some kind of conscience. But she could easily ignore that back in her body, and yet? Here sheās deciding not to, and for no good reason. She didnāt have to say that to Chell, but she did, because she cares and she wants Chell to live.
And then, moments before the fight:
The final lines imply that GLaDOS does not think of Chell as an enemy anymore, and that it doesnāt matter what Chell thinks because they are in this together and they are getting revenge together. Itās pretty heartwarming to be honest, to know that even in a fight that will almost certainly kill you, she is there rooting for you and caring about you, even if you donāt feel the same way about her. It no longer matters to GLaDOS whether you even reciprocate - you staying alive, you making it through is enough for her.
So Chell fights Wheatley and sends him into space, all well and good, and at this point, GLaDOS has the option to kill Chell. But not only does she not, she actively saves Chell, and holds her hand in the process. If you donāt believe me:
And not only that, but when Chell goes unconscious from her injuries, GLaDOS sits and waits for her to wake up. Itās also implied that GLaDOS carries her to the elevator, since itās where she wakes up but not where she passed out. In the scene where Chell blacks out, you can also hear the part of Love As A Construct that sounds like Cara Mia. Yeah. Yeah.
If you think that this cannot possibly get any gayer, you are wrong again, because then GLaDOS makes her final speech. Which is really just a love confession, letās be honest.
TheĀ āsurge of emotion?ā Do you mean love, GLaDOS? And the idea of GLaDOS considering Chell her best friend, despite everything these two have done to each other? The idea that GLaDOS, out of all people, forgives someone?
Except this isnāt even Chellās final send-off. GLaDOS writes her an entire opera of turrets, that sing a literal love song. (Note what I said earlier about the use of the wordĀ ābambinaā).
It really canāt get any more obvious than that.Ā āMy (affectionate romantic term here), my dear, I adore you.ā How. Is. That. Heterosexual. In. Any. Way.
So Chell goes to the surface, set free by GLaDOS (think of the sayingĀ āif you love something, set it free), and you think thatās the end. Until GLaDOS gives you a companion cube so you arenāt alone on the journey, and from the burn marks, you know itās your first companion cube. Her original heart, her first gift to you, a piece of her that she wants you to carry with you to remind you that she does care about you after everything. It also gives the lyrics to Still Alive a much more genuine meaning.Ā
Portal 2 ends, and then the ending song, another GLaDOS number plays. Just like Still Alive, Want You Gone is structurally a break up song and very obviously about GLaDOS missing Chell andĀ ācounting onā (read: caring about/loving) Chellās tendencies and quirks.Ā
Sheās accepted Chell completely, and yet also given Chell the one thing she wants most. Only wanting Chell gone can mean GLaDOS not wanting Chell in her life anymore, but can also mean she wants to give Chell the freedom sheās wanted for so, so long. Itās the best thing she can give.
In the co-op campaign, GLaDOS also references still caring about Chell.
And thatās the end of the Portal series. Except. Brace yourself. Despite the games being over, there is STILL more subtext somehow. It gets. Even gayer.
Exhibit C: Supplemental Evidence
Valve has made a lot of extra/cut content for the Portal series, and Iāll be looking at some of it below.
This official valentine from Valve shows GLaDOS offering a romantic partner cake, which as weāve established before, is very symbolic of GLaDOSā feelings about and/or relationship with Chell.Ā
Thereās a lot of other concept art and official art that emphasizes their relationship too. See below.
Thereās also some cut GLaDOS lines that are even gayer than the source material and again, sound like confessions or references to a breakup:
The idea ofĀ ādiscovering things about someoneā... how much more obvious can it get?
The developers have even confirmed a lot of my commentary on Chell and GLaDOSā relationship in The Final Hours Of Portal 2. See these quotes from the book/this post:
The devs literally describe it as a romance. They use terms likeĀ ācheating,ā they wanted to write a romantic duet, JoCo purposefully wrote the endings like love songs. It is literally, blatantly said by the creators of the game that their relationship is interpreted romantically. By the creators of the game.Ā
And if Word of God confirmation isnāt enough for you, have a song written for a cut alternate ending by GLaDOSā voice actress, Ellen McClain. The song is literally nothing but GLaDOS talking about caring about Chell, about not wanting her to die/leave GLaDOS alone, about wanting to bake a cake with Chell, about waiting for Chell to wake her up. Itās so genuinely sweet and sad, and really, really romantic in the most heartwrenching way possible.Ā
JoCo also came back for the Portal levels in Lego Dimensions, writing one final breakup song for GLaDOS to sing about Chell. It comes off as GLaDOS not wanting to admit she misses Chell even though she obviously does, trying to replace their relationship but failing, and even explicitly forgiving Chell/wanting her to come back.
Also, theĀ āfinally I understand,ā as if only now GLaDOS understands just how deep her feelings for Chell are... What else can I say?
In Lego Dimensions, GLaDOS also outright rejects anyone who isnāt Chell.
In Conclusion:
Why do I ship Chell and GLaDOS?Ā
Well, ultimately, it doesnāt matter whether IĀ ship them.Ā
Because I think itās glaringly obvious Portal does.
sleepy jing nyan