𝓢𝓞𝓤𝓛 / 𝓑𝓞𝓝𝓔

she wasn’t having fun, per se.  the ravenclaw’s light frame was slumped against a corner near the punch bowl. a spot where she’d hoped to catch her breath but had ended up camping in. she couldn’t quite recall when the evening had turned sour, maybe when she’d lost her shoes beneath some unknown table, or when between the weight and heat she’d dumped the armor-like shoulders of her dress fairly early in the ball in favor of comfort. the truth was, her night looked like it had been over before it had even begun. but it was nice never needing to worry the cup currently swirling in loose fingers would empty. the rim of her cup resting against her lip, she noticed movement in her peripheral and quickly dropped her arm, punch spilling over her hand. she found a tilt to her lips, hoping to appear less sullen, or at the very least like she wanted to be there.   ❝  r’you taking a break as well ?  . . . great minds. this is a perfect people watching spot.  ❞

              remus  leigh  lupin  may  have  acted  older  than  most  of  his  peers    ,    but  he  was  still  just  a  teenage  boy     .    he  would  prepare  himself  for  the  worst     ,     wear  the  title  of  pragmatist  and  realist    ,    and  then  feel  his  heart  drop  the  moment  he  was  proven  right    . 

              the  school  whispered  loud  enough  for  him  to  hear     (   and   apparently  remi  hadn’t  acted  very  pretty     )   ,    yet   he  couldn’t  hide  the  disappointment  that  lingered  when  amelia  chose  not  to  look  his  way     .     he  knew  he  deserved  it    ,    but  the  surprise  was  still  pretty  damn  persistent      .      she  should  be  focusing          and  fuck     ,     he  wanted  nothing  more  than  to  distract  her     .     remi  was  a  selfish  boy  in  that  sense     .     not  at  all  surprising  as  he  spent  a  majority  of  his  time  taking  the  finer  things  in  life    ,     choosing  to  focus  on  himself  than  those  he  stole  from    .    did  he  steal  from  amelia     ?     her  time    ,     maybe     ?     a  series  of  smiles  she  might  now  regret    ?    he  wasn’t  sure     .    and  it  was  sad  how  willing  he  was  to  steal  again     .    

                ❛    i’ve  been  thinking  about  what  i  want  to  say     .    and  for  a  while  there    ,    i  was  just  gonna  do  what  i  do  best      ;    talk  too  much     ,     use  waaaaayyy  too  many  words    .     y’know     ,     properly  confuse  the  issue     .    ❜

               ❛    but  i  figure  the  last  thing  i  want  to  over-complicate  is  an  apology     .    ❜

              there  was  something  different  about  his  expression     .    it  was  genuine    ,    more  serious  than  normal     .     he  could  smile  and  laugh  it  off      ,     something  that  would  seem  natural  to  the  boy     ,     but  he  was  more  nervous  than  anything  else     .    his  palms  were  sweating     ,     an  obvious  fact  as  he  wiped  his  hands  calmly  against  the  fabric  of  his  trousers     .       ❛    i’m  sorry     ,    if  i  hurt  your  feelings     .     i  never  would’ve  done  that  intentionally     ,     amelia     ,   and  i  wanted  you  to  know  that    .     i've  been  an  asshole      ,     i’ve  heard  the  stories     ,     and  i’m  not  proud     .         ❜

* ∘⡊ ☾ ˚⊹ 𝒶𝓂𝑒𝓁𝒾𝒶 ⊹

she listened, smile threatening even at something as simple as his preamble. his current attentive and charming self easy to appreciate given it’s long absence from her life. but it was hard to reconcile now with the boy who’d gravitated to a pretty face with no substance, or the even younger boy who’d had no trouble picking apart her flaws. a jumble of actions that left her even more confused by the complex person she’d been so resolved  ( and simply wanting  )  to understand.  the determination of a squared shoulder and curious expression wavered only at an  apology.  amelia had not realized it was possible to feel worse than she had. her jaw tightening to a painful degree. had her reaction to rejection really been so pathetic as to warrant delayed promises of good intentions ?   her chin turned away, unable to meet his eye. she’d promised herself the entire purpose of setting her nose to her studies rather than the frivolity of  teenage dating nightmares had been a good thing. a reminder to rely on her strengths rather than dwell on the raw casing of her heart and tightness in her chest.  but a split second break in her expression revealed the disappointment and   fear   that had had also driven her into seclusion.  it was almost funny, about to face duels and the end’s of her classmates wands and it was remi, humble apology and gentle approach to her  sore  ‘feelings’,  that scared the absolute shit out of her.  

❝  you did  NOT hurt my feelings.  ❞   the words snapped out quick and sharp,  each one seeming a desperate grasp at footing in the misunderstanding.  quick as she’d been to jump down his throat,  she was a terrible liar.  always had been and likely always would be. she could not look at him for the life of her, a fuzzy needling traveled over the back of her neck and pricked further at the sensitive plane of her gaze. her chest expanded with a rush of a heavy inhale, as though looking bigger than the truth could actually make a person more in control, or could make up for the shaking in her hands as she bent to pick up her bag.

as much as people avoided and reviled the participation of the  ‘dreaded’ rumor mill, there came with the act  information.   so long as the news was true, it provided context.  in this case, some much needed understanding. all things that amelia now had none of, shutting herself away as she had from any mention of an  obnoxious, but also  happy remi she’d had no hand in creating. sure of herself as she wanted to be, and often succeeded in appearing. she was now failing miserably, her expression pinched and brow furrowed as the bag’s strap struck her shoulder.  ❝  it’s not as though we ever--   ❞  she couldn’t even say it, her thoughts were spinning, flustered enough that she could not imagine doing well in her forgotten duel. although truthfully more concerned and aware of the person she’d spent more time thinking about than she cared to admit. he would now be certain that she was impossibly pathetic if she couldn’t pull it together.   ❝  you don’t owe me anything, remus.  ❞  

                                                                                                        ---amelia bones !    

amelia glanced up with a jump as her name ( and benjy’s shortly after ) were called by a figure on the stage, her vision too hazy to make them out. the unlikely event of her success did not stop a short huff of relief that passed her lips.  ❝  excuse me.   ❞   she didn’t turn to see what he thought of her as she made a quick escape towards something a little less terrifying, or harrowing, than remus lupin.

   the gryffindor’s shoulders shrugged in an act of nonchalance at the girl’s words. “ hmm.. well.. what’s not to be proud of, ames? “ he questioned, raising a brow at her casually. although the question was rhetorical, there was a clear-cut arrogance that dripped from the boy’s words as he spoke them. a gesture that was emphasized even more in his posture as he straightened and squared his shoulders. “ well.. DAMN.. i was really hoping to get out of having to trudge through listening to binn’s torturous monotone. “ he said, giving a dramatic snap of his fingers as an added effect to his disappointment. there’s a brief moment’s pause before sirius realizes that the gryffindor table is a place that amelia doesn’t exactly belong. perhaps, it is just the fact that he has grown used to seeing her around a certain friend of his that he had seemed to momentarily forgot. however, now that he is reminded, he has to take the opportunity to point it out. “ what’re you doing over here, huh, ames? “ he questioned. lips quirk into a light, teasing smirk, “ LOST? looking for someone? “

* ∘⡊ ☾ ˚⊹ 𝒶𝓂𝑒𝓁𝒾𝒶 ⊹

her nose crinkled at his shift in stance, wanting nothing more than to deny him the attention he wanted from the stunt,    ❝  or you thrive on being  contrary.  ❞   she noted significantly, her brow rising in a dare for him to disagree with the sentiment.  she wasn’t completely against a little rule bending now and then, so long as it held purpose rather than transparent attempts for attention. it was a fine line sirius black liked to walk, he was nevertheless stubbornly likable. she quickly shifted at the accusation, however, her features shifting into something defensive and a little  ‘deer in the headlights’,    ❝   no.  i’m not.  ❞   she was insistent enough to almost be believable. arms folding over her chest and chin lifting, indignant at the very idea, but it’s noticeable in the slow perusal of the table’s occupants  ( the few moments she gave in to the temptation to torture herself with a sight she would not like  ) before the eventual return to sirius’ attention. he wasn’t wrong.   but childish as it was, she wasn’t stupid and she had no desire to look it. too bad she had no control over the flush that blossomed over her cheeks.    ❝   . . . i hope binn’s gives his lecture on the giant wars.  you deserve it.   ❞

              ❛      believe  me     ,     you  wouldn’t  want  to  know     .      ❜     it’d  only  make  you  hate  me  more     ,     was  what  she  wanted  to  say     ,     but  couldn’t  seem  to  bring  herself  too     .     and  why  was  that     ?     why  did  she  care  what  amelia  bones  thought     ?     she  didn’t  know     .     still     ,     emma’s  head  shook     ,     lips  ghosting  into  a  smile  as  her  gaze  studied  amelia  roll  her  wand     .       ❛     i  like  the  confidence     .     guess  you  don’t  need  me  after  all     .     ❜     pausing     ,     body  inching  closer  to  the  witch  as  her  eye’s  noticed  the  light  reddening  of  amelia’s  cheeks     .     ❛     m’here  to  watch     ,     here  to  sulk  in  my  grumpiness           but  if  you  beat  fenwick     ,     than  maybe  that’d  brighten  my  mood     .     ❜

* ∘⡊ ☾ ˚⊹ 𝒶𝓂𝑒𝓁𝒾𝒶 ⊹

              alice  had  dreamed  of  becoming  an  auror  since  she  was  younger ,  &  spent  all  of  her  hogwarts  years  excelling  in  her  classes  in  order  to  meet  the  requirements.  at  the  mere  mention  of  a  dueling  competition ,  excitement  flooded  alice.  the  gryffindor  made  sure  her  name  was  on  that  list.  it  was  a  chance  to  prove  to  everyone  that  she  was  more  than  just  a  pretty  face.  ❛  easy ?  ❜  she  scoffed ,  ❛  i  certainly  hope  not  !  i  could  really  use  a  good  challenge ,  you  know.  you  better  give  it  your  all.  ❜

* ∘⡊ ☾ ˚⊹ 𝒶𝓂𝑒𝓁𝒾𝒶 ⊹

               ❛      oh     ,     i  wish    ,     but  mcgonagall’s  confiscated  my  wand  for  the  time  being     .      ❜     her  head  tilts     ,     long  ponytail  cascading  down  slender  shoulders  as  her  hands  raise     .     fingers  wiggling  in  a  show  of  defense     .     see     ,     the  only  time  emma  was  allowed  her  wand  was  during  classes             after  that     ,     she  had  strict  orders  to  return  it  to  mcgonagall  personally     .     it  was  all  a  real  drag     .      ❛     i  wanted  to  wish  you  luck     ?     and  tell  you  not  to  fall  on  your  arse     .     oh     ,     and  fenwick  prides  himself  on  using  the  knockback  jinx     .     it’s  rather  rudimentary  so  i’m  sure  you’ll  counter  it  quickly     .     you  are  good  with  a  wand  if  i  remember  correctly     .     ❜

* ∘⡊ ☾ ˚⊹ 𝒶𝓂𝑒𝓁𝒾𝒶 ⊹

amelia’s gaze followed the trail of the other girl’s fingers, brow furrowed by the simple gesture and slow moving waterfall of dark hair gliding over a thin shoulder.    ❝  i can’t begin to imagine what you did to earn that sort of punishment.  ❞  there was a note of suspicion to her tone, even as she took on the burden that was a   compliment   from emma vanity. had that ever happened before ?  she couldn’t remember as she rolled her wand between her fingers in contemplative (  or stunned  ) silence.   ❝  thank you, emma.  i  will  take the luck . . .  but not your help.  i don’t need it.  ❞   she promised, brushing aside a few strands from her cheek in subconscious mimicry. amelia could feel the prickles of growing heat on the delicate skin and there were nerves growing where they hadn’t been anything to worry about before. the slytherin’s presence had always been hopelessly confusing, a mixture of dislike and curious fascination.   ❝  you’re here to watch then ?   ❞  

cameron picked her seat at the three broomsticks on her first visit to hogsmeade in her third year. it’s easy to go unseen in the busy pub, easy to sink into the shadows in the pokey little corner seat she loves so much. that was its appeal: those who would normally have stopped to chat with her wouldn’t find her there. her self-isolation became all too easily. so it’s a shock, when she realises someone’s hovering over her as she sips at her butterbeer, daily prophet in hand. “somethin’ i can do for you, love?” @amesbxncs

* ∘⡊ ☾ ˚⊹ 𝒶𝓂𝑒𝓁𝒾𝒶 ⊹

cameron, who amelia secretly believed to be a difficult roommate, was also someone the brunette held an unspoken respect for.  while they had none of the same fundamental philosophical beliefs, cynicism didn’t mesh well with optimism. but cameron also operated with an abrasive nature that was unapologetic. there was no need to guess, as she’d simply tell you what she thought. it was at once, exhausting and refreshing.  this precise lack of care also made it  easy  to invade the girl’s private moment alone,   ❝  anyone sitting here ?  ❞    the question was rhetorical, amelia hopped onto the stool beside the other girl and heaved a sigh as limbs folded beneath the table.    ❝  i need someone to be honest with me for an afternoon. . . . and i wanted to steal your front page.  ❞  she admitted, neck craning to see the words splashed beneath the other girl’s fingers.

              wasn’t  a  stalker     .    or  so  he  would  claim  until  he  was  blue  in  the  face     .    but  he  had  spent  the  better part  of  his  week     ,     ever  since  he  was  given  an  antidote    ,     looking  for  her     .     now  yes     ,     he  took  some  time  mending  whatever  fences  he’d  crushed  along  the  way     ,     spouting  off  speeches  of  apologies  to  his  friends     ,     all  of  them  who  reassured  him  that  it  wasn’t  necessary      ,     but  amelia  somehow  always  remained  in  the  back  of  his  mind      .      so  when  he  saw  her  preparing  for  the  dueling  contest     ,     he  took  a  deep  breath    ,    clutching  the  strap  of  his  bag  nervously     .

                ❛    promise    ?    ❜     the  boy  smiled     ,      an  implied  meaning  behind  his  response     .     remi  wasn’t  there  to  duel     .     he  feared  her  reaction  far  more  than  he  feared  being  on  the  receiving  end  of  someone’s  wand  during  a  playful  school  contest     .     ❛    if  i’d have  known  you  were  competing    ,    i  would’ve  made  signs     .      ❜     just  like  remus lupin     ,     to  approach  a  problem  with  nothing  but  humor  and  charming  smiles            CERTAINLY  he  could’ve  done  better     .    and  CERTAINLY    ,     he  would  try    .      ❛    look    .     amelia     .     if  you  have  a  minute    ,    i’d  love  to  talk  to  you     .  ❜    

* ∘⡊ ☾ ˚⊹ 𝒶𝓂𝑒𝓁𝒾𝒶 ⊹

just as soon as she’d blinked, the laughter had slid from amelia’s lips. the sweetness replaced by a tightening in her chest.    of course   the moment she’d stepped out from almost a week’s worth of  seclusion  would the intense girl run into the precise thing she’d been trying to avoid in her pages of study.  the crook in his smile was closer to salt dashed over an open wound than anything resembling charming.  ( how did he manage ? it really wasn’t fair, by any standards.  a war crime, in someone’s book, surely.   sun  tzu  ?  where was the chapter on remus lupin ?  )  it had been a steep learning curve, to discover she was an insanely jealous and quietly longing sort of thing. between gut-wrenching glimpses in the hall of the happy couple and stuffing earmuffs over her ears to drown out margot’s increasingly late night returns to their dorm. as her sanity had disintegrated, so had the once happy sight of  remi  become downright unbearable.  which was why she was stubbornly refusing to meet his eye, instead dedicating her attention to the irascible task of zipping up her bag, while her gaze traced furtive glances for a flash of blonde. the sort she’d end up ripping out, if pushed.

 ❝  i should be   focusing,  ❞    her words were reasonable and their usual level of soft, although frustration seeped between the cracks of her syllables, the thinning of her lips betraying her.     after a moment of failure to give any sort of attention or focus to anything but his presence, an impossible task, with him here filling her peripheral and thoughts, did amelia finally met his eye. not because it didn’t   sting.   he really was pretty, and bright  (  and most definitely not her’s.  )  to the point the backs of her eyes were burning, hot and prickling as they’d been all week.  no,   the meeting of bright ocean eyes was not because she’d   missed   him.  (  she had. )  but because as frighteningly easy as it’d been for him to hurt her feelings, she’d let him do it all over again, if only he kept looking at her like   that.  

she studied him, chin raised and her frame seemingly steel, if weak to a singular force.   ❝  . . .  what is it ? ❞