ghost of my former self.

This blog is officially archived. I’m really sorry but it gives me anxiety to just log on here. I guess it is due to my wishy washy characterization of Amber. I can’t decide what I want her to be so angry or nice are the only defaults. 

Unless my friends can persuade me otherwise, I won’t be rping as Amber for a while. I may logon for shits and giggle every now and then but don’t take this blog or it’s content seriously. 

If I have the heart to return to the muse bc I love her to bits, I may remake the blog entirely and make a serious rp of her (with the occasional crack thread bc yes) 

“ What you going to do? Start throwing pots and pans and making spoopy noises?  

" You fucking won't "

she shouldn’t be a mom. 

quality content. 

“Well, I’ve got a lot of this internalized toxic masculinity garbage floating around in there, and if I had to wax poetic; I’d say that my heart is choked by a cloud of depression and ennui, like so much smog from so many cars that it blocks out the sun.  My self loathing gnaws at me like a wretched beast, some horrid thing that has never known the love of any man or god.  Every day I struggle to avoid being dragged into that dark abyss from which I only barely escaped by going to Beacon.  That Stygian pool seeks to entrap me, to never let me grow into the man I hope to be.”

“Maybe she was telling me not to listen to that.  I dunno.  I mostly just stave off the ennui with junk food and training.”

Life is suffering.  I’ll never amount to anything.  I’m worthless.  I’m going to die alone, unloved, in obscurity.  I’m hungry.

“Pyrrha told me I should maybe stop listening to my heart so much, actually.”

I should find some chicken nuggets.

“ Understood, Amber. “ 

"Fiiine." With far less gross sounds. She kisses Amber's cheek before being done.

“I get that a lot.”

“Ha ha, hey, what an interesting topic choice.  Have I mentioned that you have very nice hair?  Quick fun fact, here; did you know that hairdressing as an occupation dates back to the early history of Mistral?  Interesting topic!”

More smooching. She is gonna be gross just to brighten Amber’s day……For better or worse.