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Parker knew well he didn’t always acquire the most eloquent countenance. Majority of the times, his colleagues and the world that knew him described him to have a permanently fixed inscrutable physiognomy. It was in his nature to not wear his heart on his sleeve. Sometimes it would come back around and bite him in the ass and this so happens to be one of those times. Honestly, he was afraid. He’s not one to take the reins on quests like this. He had come to Hongdae to invest further in a case and decided it was smart to get a cup of coffee which had live music and bands built in it. The rather flirtatious barista thought it would be a grand idea to insert his name to perform on stage next. The only thing he could play was a guitar and that was during his high school years. When hearing the stranger female offer a phrase that sound rather philosophical, the corner of his lip twitched.

“You could say that reaching the stage of fear requires accepting the unknown.” His arms naturally folded across his chest, turning his head so he could get a glimpse of the female. “What are we doing if not taking a chance? We’re being cowards in life. However, miss, I am very much afraid. Don’t allow my bland façade fool you. It’s just… I don’t do well with art. I’m not mold to entertain others. I’m afraid to make a fool of myself.”

“i always found sanity to be a tad bit overrated; where’s the draw and fun in going the logical route all the time? at least, some days, you should take a chance, move forward, and do what everyone’s thinking but never does. it ain’t any fun to keep your mouth and mind shut to what you wanna do… … .. or could do, in this case.” cool touch of the pebble between his fingers, settled sweetly against his palm while the other would be tossed across the water. it’s a game of “which duck don’t give a fuck” for blu– he’s hoping they have one for him.

“you know how they say what happens in vegas, stays in vegas? why can’t it be that what you hear in the club is just.. kept in the club? it isn’t like anyone needs to know what i said and you don’t really need to tell anyone what i said… loyalty is also overrated.” 

The dark thoughts were soon overcoming his mind, seeping their way into the depths of his memories. He didn’t want to remember such an awful year, but he knew that this feeling couldn’t just disappear on its own. The vampire tried going about his usual days. He continued hunting, the blood bag stealing, the rude and cold shoulders he gave. But it still couldn’t shake his mind off, especially at night when no one was around. The thoughts consumed him when he was alone, which would explain why he suddenly grew fond to clubs and bars, and kept himself busy most of the time. Soo didn’t want to be left alone with the burden of having to remember those nights and mornings. How the pain never left his body once he entered that building. He blamed himself for the situation because how could someone as strong as him let his guard down. He should’ve known from all the books he read as a human and all the shows that were broadcasted on television that people were interested in vampires. But so interested that some wanted to experiment on them, sadly he never thought that situation would ever come to him.

  If his friends asked where he had been, he tells a small fib. “I was just gone for awhile. Exploring.” That was his usual response and even though his friends had an odd hunch about it, knowing the vampire they’d just brush it off and kept to their conversation. I suppose the female had recognized him coming down the street. She had stopped to talk to him, saying how she remembered him walking the streets everyday as she would pass him. Although Kyungsoo never paid attention to the people that he passed, unless they caught his eye when it came to his urges, but other than that he wasted no time in looking. He gave his normal response when she asked where he had been, even if he didn’t recognize her the problem was that she did. “Do you want to tell me what really happened?” The women asked bluntly. Kyungsoo was taken aback by her inquiry and was at lost at words. How could she have known the small fib he told to everyone else he knew, or maybe everyone was aware of his lie and just never spoke of it. Nonetheless, the female wasn’t someone he felt comfortable knowing about this and he kept his mouth shut for a little while longer before he finally mustered up something. “Well, you know. I was off hunting in different states, just testing my abilities.” The demon played it off casually, at least to say he thought so himself and kept an eye on the women for her response.

The woman would wander around during the dead hours a little too much. She found it peaceful despite the many dangers that lurks around every corner. Who would do anything to her, she would think to herself, the thought being even worse when she was intoxicated. This night was one of those nights. There was nothing wrong nor nothing good. It was just an impulse that she wanted her blood to be soiled by those sweet tasting drinks that had a little too much of a kick after the fact. However, she felt good afterwards so she wasn’t complaining, though what happens once the high is gone is a different story. For now she was just stumbling about, trying hard not to look as drunk as she was. A woman’s weakness is when she’s not herself after all. Luckily no one was out since it was the middle of the week, except, for one male who she would pass one too many times. He had looked a bit off, could be his disheveled appearance or it could be all in her head. Either way the story he tried to tell wasn’t convincing enough for her at first. 

If there is anything that Seunghyun didn’t understand the most, it’s women. The way they thought, what they wanted, what they meant, what they were implying, anything. And having no particular interest or sympathy towards almost everything as one of his bad habits just made it worse. But this time he tried to be different. He tried to at least make sure that everything was alright with his friend, no matter how bitter or cold she sounded. “Are you sure? Are you really busy or are you avoiding me?” he took a few moment to look at her before heaving out a deep sigh. “Hyeonu-ya, will you ever try to at least open up to me?”

Once a strong enough bond was formed, anyone could pay a visit to the academy to see her. Albeit some who she didn’t even know would try to sneak pass for she was a wanted woman for many reasons unfortunately, lucky enough to have strong enough security in the lobby before anyone can get to the elevators. That was neither here nor there considering he stood before her in her office, which she considered her second home tied with her parent’s house. The woman was simply doing her job and then some, considering she would always go above and beyond with her work. Not to mention it was an off day for her, something he wouldn’t understand probably despite it being nothing to discuss. “I mean as you can see I’m really busy.” She spoke while continuing to plan out her week. He was obviously more of a softer friend since anyone else would have pulled her away from the papers by now. 

“You wanted to use me?” “That wasn’t my intention.” “Then what was it?” “Please don’t be mad at me.” “That was it wasn’t it. WASN’T IT.”

The conversation ran through her mind just as the liquor was flowing through her veins. “Ah, why me? Heaven, why does it have to be me?” A pitiful laugh followed her inquiry, her forehead rested in her palm as her fingers carded through her dark mane. If tears were something she was able to produce, it would have been done right then and there. Unfortunately for her, she had never cried a day in her life. There was no explanation why for it was just something that was never done. The woman truly never got upset enough to cry. If something horrible happened to her she would drink the night away and laugh at it, just how she was doing now. 

“You’re upset.” Heavy timbre pulls her from her thoughts, not bothering to see the owner for she already knew it was her brother. Despite being busy, he was always there for her in those rare times of need and even though she didn’t call for his help, this was one of those times. 

“Cry.” “I don’t cry.” “Hyeonu!”

“What?” She looked at him with furrowed brows, the hand that held her head dropped to her lap prior to her gesturing her confusion. “What is there to cry about honestly? Is this really anything new?” She allowed that question to linger. “It’s not and you know it is.”

“Yeah but he’s your best friend of how many years?” There was another involuntary silence, the sound of crackling fire from the pit being the only thing to break the tension. “Too long, am I right?” Hyeonu could only nod while listening to her elder speak, eyes solely focused on the violent flame that was blown left and right because of the brisk winds. It was the eve of a new year and yet she wasn’t excited in the least bit because of everything that went on over the course of a month. 

“I’m either an object, a male, an old lady or a bitch. None are feminine. None are qualities of a woman. Yet what am I to do? Not like I can change anything about it. So I bury my feelings and put on this femme fatale facade.” The feelings she had been holding back formed in her throat, however, she swallowed it down with more wine and refilled her glass with staggering and leisurely movements. She was heavily intoxicated at this point which was the only reason why she was talking so much. “I’d say it’s been working well for me.”

“It hasn’t.”

“It has. You know why?” No one knew everything about her, yet everyone knew one thing about her. A workaholic she was and a workaholic she will be until she dies. People frown upon her hectic work schedule, however little do they know, her work will never cause her emotional harm. “I’m such a successful woman these days, being invited to all the high end art shows and galleries. I have balcony seats at every dance recital the city has to offer. I am idolized by my students, my interns, by those who are older than I am. It is something you don’t understand I don’t expect you to understand. Hell, I don’t expect anyone to understand, but do know this..” She found herself drowning in her thoughts once again, however this time, they were happy memories. All the rise and falls she experienced over the years played through her mind. It was as if her life was a drama for the world to see, except she was actually living it. A smile was brought to her face for the first time since she last left Hongdae over a week ago.

 “I’d rather be a brokenhearted girl with everything than a brokenhearted girl with nothing.” That realization was enough to lift her spirits, not to mention the countdown to the new year was starting in a few minutes. “All feelings that were experienced this year will be left behind. A new year is approaching and I will walk into it with the mindset I should have left this year: be a better woman than I was before.” Her wine glass was raised for there was nothing more to discuss on the topic. The smile never wavered and she gestured for her brother to join in, even though she knew he disapproved of her logic but that was a story for another time. His sister was smiling again and that’s all that mattered.

Veni Vidi Vici 2016.

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Taggers • @98east (thank you!) Tagging • anyone who wants to do it

the struggling artist

key characteristics: resilient, easily frustrated, daring, keen

you are a creative soul that borders on desperation at the toss of a coin. despite this, you error on the side of optimism at all times, knowing that your next inspiration could be right around the next corner. because of this, you tend to be more adventurous than your peers, willing to drive down a dark road or befriend an aging neighbor, always seeking a story. if you are to avoid the fate of others like you, you must learn to decipher which creative endeavors are worth your time.

❛ It's the closest to what I relate to, but I was also pretty strange by my classmates standards when I was in high school. You ever live out of country or have you been here your whole life? It's a good thing we never moved here, tiny you woulda scared the piss outta me! Like, I was a tall baby, but I was shy as hell. Didn't talk 'til I was two, then I went mute again for a solid year