A Neophyte's Serendipity.

A broken heart is when you actually refuse to get out of bed in the morning because you’re afraid of the reality that awaits you. A broken heart is when you think about the guy that broke your heart constantly. You reminisce the “good times” almost as if the “bad times” never existed.

A broken heart is when you’re crying yourself to sleep every night and yet crying more and more each morning. A broken heart is the unforgettable smell of his shirt that sits in that empty box stowed away. A broken heart is the cold shattering feeling you receive when you hear the syllables of his name. A broken heart is glancing at the pictures of you two and then quickly turning your attention to something else to avoid your tears.

A broken heart is re-reading his ancient letters and putting away the old jewelries he bought you. A broken heart is secretly wanting to run back to him and secretly wanting to just be loved by him again. A broken heart is asking desperately for just one last chance with the one person responsible for your loneliness. A broken heart is pretending not to care what his friends are saying about you. A broken heart is hanging up the phone after dialing the first six digits of his phone number. A broken heart is screaming and begging for a second chance inside.

A broken heart is the emptiness and heart-wrenching feeling you encounter when you see him with his new girlfriend. A broken heart is knowing that whatever you do or say to yourself, you can’t fool your heart into believing that you will in fact “be alright”. A broken heart is listening to that one song that makes you break down over and over again. 

... And, a broken heart is sometimes not wanting to go on.

Once, you must fall in love with your best friend, ruining your friendship forever. This will teach you who your true friends are, and the fine line between friendship and more. 

Once, you must fall in love with someone you believe is perfect. You will learn that no one is perfect, and that you should never be treated as anything less than you deserve.

And once, you must fall in love with someone that is exactly like you. This will teach you about who you are, and who you want to be.

I'm tired of yelling.

I'm tired of being sad.

I'm tired of pretending.

I'm tired of being alone.

I'm tired of being angry.

I'm tired of feeling crazy.

I'm tired of feeling stuck.

I'm tired of needing help.

I'm tired of remembering.

I'm tired of missing things.

I'm tired of being different.

I'm tired of missing people.

I'm tired of feeling worthless.

I'm tired of feeling empty inside.

I'm tired of not being able to just let go.

I'm tired of wishing I could start all over.

I'm tired of dreaming of a life I will never have.

But most of all,

Ganun ba

Oo nga.

Ah

Ngek

K

Hehe

Haha

Sige

Yup

Mahal NA kita. Mahal PA kita.

Masaya NA ako sa'yo. Masaya PA ako sa'yo.

Hindi NA kita mahal. Hindi PA kita mahal.

Ayoko NA. Ayoko PA.

Tayo NA ba? Tayo PA ba?

Simpleng salita.

10 Signs You've Found The Right One

The One. It can be such a daunting word. Being with the right person can not only determine authentic, unconditional happiness; but your health as well. Being in a toxic relationship may keep you from true happiness, experiencing unconditional love, and can hold you back from living the life you're meant to be living. 

Here are 10 (out of so many) simple things to look out for in a relationship: 

1. Your partner is your best friend. You're 110% yourself, you feel free, and enjoy the little things in life together. 

2. Your partner is the one you want next to you in your deepest, darkest moments.

3. You're capable of being away from each other, but neither of you like it one bit.

4. Your partner is your #1 choice for the person you want with you when you splurge on your favorite treat, watch an embarrassing television show, or forget your manners at the dinner table because you're too exhausted that day.

5. The two of you compromise with each other. You don't always get your way.

6. You care about his or her needs more than your own.

7. You both know that throughout life you might change and grow, but you'll always change and grow together. Life is about enjoying the stages with each other. 

8. When something happens - terrible, exciting or completely insignificant - he or she is always the first person you want to tell.

9. He or she balances you out, and you do the same. Where one is weaker, the other is stronger.

10. You know that no matter what, he or she will always stand by you and be on your side.

Ewan ko nga ba. 'Yan na lang din minsan ang palaging nasasabi ko. Ewan. Ewan ko. Kung kailan, kung saan, kung paano, kung sino. Hindi ko naman kasi talaga alam. Wala naman talaga akong alam. Ayoko nang pumili. Ayoko nang maghintay. Ayoko nang maghanap. Nakakapagod na 'yong paulit-ulit na mali. Paulit-ulit na, hay. Andyan 'yong makakakilala ka ng someone, mafo-fall ka, mai-in love ka, pero sa bandang huli, sasabihin mo lang sa sarili mo na, no. Hindi naman sa pagiging duwag at sa hindi pagte-take ng risks, pero why bother to do it kung alam mo naman na ang magiging outcome, 'di ba? Sayang lang 'yong effort. Sayang lang 'yong pagod. Manhid naman siya. Hindi naman ikaw 'yong gusto niya. At ang malala pa dyan, wala ka lang talaga sa kanya. It sucks to be in a circle or in a crowd na alam mong they're happy 'cause they found their better halves or special someones. Habang ikaw, nagpapakahirap na maghanap. Na mahanap. Pero minsan, okay rin naman 'yon. Kasi I look to it as an inspiration. Na parang gusto kong sabihin sa kanila, "Wait lang kayo. In time, ako rin. Makakahap din ako. Mahahanap niya rin ako." Pero at the back of my mind, andun pa rin 'yong apat na tanong, "Kailan? Saan? Paano? Sino?" Ang hirap talaga. Kung alam ko lang na ganito pala kahirap ma-in love sa isang tao, naging robot na lang sana ako. Walang pakiramdam. Walang puso. Pero hindi nga ako naging ganun. So that means, kailangan ko talagang maramdaman 'yon. Kailangan kong maranasan 'yon. Kailangan kong ma-in love, masaktan, ma-in love ulit, masaktan ulit, and so on, and so forth. Kahit minsan sumusuko ka na. Kahit minsan, ayaw mo na. Parang dalawa lang naman ata ang status sa love, "Be happy or be miserable." Syempre gusto ko rin namang maging masaya, 'no. Sino ba namang may ayaw? Pero gusto nga ba ng love na maging masaya ako? Ang sagot ko? Ayan na naman tayo sa, "Ewan ko." Sana ganun lang talaga kadali ang magkagusto sa isang tao, 'no? 'Di wala nang problema. Wala nang mag-iisa or makakaramdam na mag-isa siya. Ang daya. Ang unfair. Buti pa 'yong ibang tao, nanloko na't lahat, sila pa 'tong swerte pagdating dito. Pero 'yong mga nagmamahal ng totoo, 'eto nakanganga, katulad ko. Hay, bahala na nga. Ganun talaga, eh.

Bahala na nga. Minsan, ipinapasa-Diyos ko na lang. Idinadasal ko sa kanya na sana dumating na siya. Na sana, ipagkaloob na sa'kin siya. Pero sabi nga nila, "Hindi ibibigay sa'yo ng Diyos ang isang bagay kung alam niyang hindi pa 'yon ang oras para mapasa'iyo 'yon." Siguro nga tama ang Diyos. Madalas, nagkakagusto ako sa mga hindi ko naman talaga dapat magustuhan. Kung hindi taken, hindi siya pwede, o simpleng hindi lang talaga ako ang gusto. Pero kailan nga ba talaga 'yong sinasabing, "In God's time."? Ang tagal naman 'nun. Sana the next time na I will fall in love again, 'yong tama na. 'Yon na. Ayoko nang magkamali sa susunod. Gusto ko, tuloy-tuloy na. Gusto ko, totoo na. Nahuhuli na ako. Baka kapag tumagal-tagal pa, hindi na ako makahabol. Hindi na ako makasunod. Ayoko namang dumating 'yong panahon na kapag titingnan ko ang mga tao sa paligid ko, ay makikita kong may kasama sila, samantalang ako, nag-iisa. Palagi kong hinihiling na sana this time, maging fair naman ang love sa'kin. Na mahanap ko na siya, at mahanap na rin niya ako. I know, somewhere out there, may isang tao rin na katulad ko. Na nararamdaman din kung ano'ng nararamdaman ko. Na nararanasan din kung ano'ng nararanasan ko. Na gusto lang magmahal at mahalin din pabalik. Gusto ko lang naman maging masaya. Mahirap ba 'yon? Gusto ko lang naman maramdamang mahalaga ako. Mahirap ba 'yon? Pero siguro sa ngayon, ganito na muna. Maghihintay at maghahanap, hanggang sa oras na dumating siya. 'Yong oras na pareho na naming hinintay hanggang sa mahanap na namin ang isa't isa. Pero sana, 'wag nang patagalin pa. Pwede bang bukas na? o kahit mamaya na? Nakakainis talaga minsan ang love. Ang daya. Magmamahal ka, dun pa sa akala mong siya na. Kaya tuloy sa bandang huli, masasaktan ka. Pero sabi nga nila, everything happens for a reason. Hay, pero bakit nga ba?

Mayabang: Mahal mo, ayaw pang aminin.

Torpe: Mahal mo, ayaw pang sabihin.

Pakipot: Mahal mo, ayaw ka pang sagutin.

PH brought the house down (and the crown) at Pyronale 2013 in Berlin, Germany

Dragon Fireworks Philippines brought home the crown last Sep 6 - 7 & 9, 2013 at the Pyronale 2013 in Berlin, Germany, which was participated by European countries except the Philippines. Of the 6 participating teams, the Philippines (Dragon Fireworks) won gold, Spain (Pirotecnia Zaragozana) with silver, & Finland (JoHo Pyro) with bronze. Other participating teams are from Greece, Croatia, & Poland.