Triune Health

Today I think is going to be a lot harder than most days. Counting calories sucks so much but I think at this point it’s going to be an important part of getting me to get a better picture of what I am actually eating. I have a really big problem with portion size and eating the right kinds of foods. I eat a lot of fats in my diet and a ton of sugar just from what my calorie tracker tells me. Right now I am using the “MyFitness Pal” app (not sponsored btw) it does a pretty good job of helping track what I am eating in a day. As long as I stick to the calories I am allotted I should be fine I think? I’m not too sure how this is supposed to work. I will say I have had problems in the past where I think I am doing well only to find out that I am not eating right or that I am not eating enough. The other thing is just becoming super consistent with the way that I am working out. I felt like I worked out pretty hard last night but even then it wasn’t as hard as I should have. That’s one thing that I am finding more difficult right now, I don’t really WANT to do this. I understand now what people are saying when they say you have to do it for you. My whole life I have been in a place where I only want to lose weight for others. When I was young it was because I wanted my grandma to get off my back. When I was a little older I started losing weight again because I had a new boyfriend. Then about a year and a half later

I started all over again because that same boy dumped me and I wanted him to want me again. And then I did it for my cousin’s wedding always for other people and never for me and what I actually wanted.

My goal this time around is to do it for me. I want to feel good and I want to look at myself and see okay that maybe someone would want to be with me. I want to be able to go out and have a good time and not worry about the things going on around me. I want to live a life that’s full because of the things I am doing not just the way that I feel. I want to go hiking and walking and not feel like I don’t belong because I’m not fit. I want to feel confident enough to get back out into the dating game without needed validation from a man because I am happy enough with myself.

Okay, so here’s a recap… I had every intention of sticking to my diet when I started a month and a half ago. What I didn’t have any intention of doing was…

Getting laid off from my job.

Going to Africa for 2 weeks and having nothing but junk to eat because it's hard to find edible food there

Getting a new job and stress eating as I have never done before

So yeah that’s a lot of change in a very short amount of time. I am currently not the heaviest I have ever been, but I have never been this unmotivated. When I first started losing weight it was never for me. It for my ex. It was because I wanted to get revenge and thought guys would want me. Well, that wasn’t what happened at all. In fact, I got less action when I was working out than I did before all that had started. So now I am here in the same place again.

Okay, I’m just gonna put this out there… NO MORE SNOOZING. No more snoozing on life, no more snoozing in bed. NO. MORE. This morning, because of snoozing, I woke up at 5:45. At that time I should have been at least 15 minutes into my workout already. It was a core day today so I tried to make push myself to go quickly and instead I think I just shorted myself of a quality workout.

Day 1 week 1

The first day back is not always the hardest

I think I was expecting today to be worse than it was. Much much worse. I went to the gym and even though I couldn’t do all that I am used to doing I still worked up a pretty good sweat. I just started on Julie-Anna”s (@julieannafleming) “8 week total body transformation” program and I am not sure how I feel about it yet. Am I sore? YES! And I wasn't able to do all of the workouts on the sheet for today. I will say the workouts are more intense than I would have originally thought they would be. The key is going to be consistency for the first few weeks, I think. It’s not enough just to show up to the gym, I know that. But It has also been hard for me to get over the “fear” of moving again. It took me a long time to get comfortable enough to do what I needed to do in the gym. So I suspect it will take just as long now. I am trying to eat better because I have learned the hard way that you can’t just work out to get a great body, you have to eat well too.  For now all I am doing is sticking to the foods that I know are good for me and that I enjoy, like eating sweet potatoes and brussel sprouts and chicken… for every meal. So yeah not too yet but we’ll see what happens.

Back to the Beginning

He y’all, I'm back and ready to get healthy. It’s been almost 2 years since I have done anything with this blog or on this page in general so let me re-introduce myself. My name is Amanda-Jacqueline Mendez, I am 23 years old, single and I live with my parents. You probably didn’t need to know that last part, but there it is anyways. Over the last two years I have gone through a lot of life change. It all started when I quit my job. You see I was working at an assistant and felt like i wasn’t being used… well I was dead wrong because I was never more bored than after that day. I was working Part time at a coffee shop in my hometown so I was already pretty busy, and well you have to make income so I took another job selling pianos after I left the office job. I guess you can say that I was doing a lot of moving around during that time.

In the process of “finding myself” I became very depressed and angry. I was lashing out at people constantly and almost had no friends by the end of it. I joined a missionary program during this time, i knew i needed to get my head screwed on straight again and this seemed like the perfect way to do it. So I spent 6 months in the mission field learning about God and learning about myself. When I came home from my missions trip I needed a job so I took an admin position at an office in my town and the rest of the year went by pretty quickly from there.

So now here we are, I am the heaviest and fatest I have ever been, and I cannot bear it any longer. I feel sick all the time, nothing fits me and I feel ugly no matter how much I do my hair or my makeup or how many new outfits I buy.

I cannot be the only one who struggles with eating right. I will say, in all honesty, If I could just eat salads for lunch and dinner I would probably br okay. I actually really really like salads. The only problem is I have trouble making my own salads. I just never know what to put in them. I am starting to realize that the same thing is happening when i prep my meals in general. I had a good thing going for a while. I was baking brussel sprouts and sweet potatoes and adding that to some pan cooked chicken and about half a cup of brown rice. Sadly, outside of that... I’m pretty much at a loss for what to eat. 

I don’t really know how to eat healthy, and i think it’s safe to say that I need a lesson on what types of food to eat. I think that’s why i’ve been cheating so much lately. I I think this also contributes to why I eat out so much. Whenever I don’t know what to make i end up going to chipotle or going to a deli and having a salad of some kind. 

So summer has not been good to me blog wise. I know I haven’t posted anything for a long while now. I just have been so busy between training and work and church and trying to have a life. I know my workouts have suffered too. At first I feel like I did really well with finding a balance for it all. I was so determined to stay active since I was in a wedding during the first week of July. 

I am proud to say that I made it to the day of the wedding at the weight that I had set a goal for. My dress was even slightly too big in places which is really good. The lady who fixed my dress actually said that I would have been better off if I had just gotten a smaller size and had it taken out a bit. YAY!!! 

Me: This sucks, can it end so I can love it already!?

Me: WHY TF IS THIS SONG EVEN ON MY PLAYLIST!?

Me: Why am I doing this?

Me: Don't look at the distance. DON'T LOOK AT THE DISTANCE

Me: shit, I looked. TF, that was longer than .36 miles you liar!

Me: Power song? Let's do this

Me: *LEFT. LEFT. LEFT. RIGHT LEFT. TILL I COLLAPSE!*

Me: Oh look, I burned off breakfast, yay!

Me: Oh dear God this is the longest break between songs in the history of the life

Me: I will smash you with a hammer if you fall out one more time earbud. Seriously.

Me: Who glued cinder blocks to my feet?

Me: This still sucks

Me: I'm hungry

*Finishes run*