we keep this love in a photograph

that’s the one appropriate time to essentially talk about someone behind their back, i would have been there agreeing and riling you up, that’s for sure. i’m glad, probably what you would have deserved after the whole ordeal. thank you!! and i really do respect it, chicken is very much up there for me, but have you ever tried pernil on a sandwich? i think that beats everything out of the park, but then we’d just be venturing into a hot sandwiches at that point.should i start dropping different hints about what i want? i’ll be really discreet.

Right?! I probably looked like a weirdo, talking to myself in the street but I couldn’t help it. Next time I will give you a call to complain, though! Well, thank you for respecting chicken the way I do and, pernil, you said? I need to try it! Geez, hot sandwiches are so good. Like, really. I could spend my entire life eating sandwiches, cold and hot, and pasta. So discreet that I wouldn’t get it, or discreet like “oh look, this dress is so pretty, don’t you think”?

Oh yeah, I’ve been a hermit enjoying my break. I get why you hate grocery stores but why not just use that app where you can get your groceries online and have them delivered to you? I mean you can beat all the drama and just keep chilling at home. I don’t use roasted chicken. I do however use honey glazed ham, lettuce, tomatoes, mayo and salt/pepper mix.

Honestly, I don’t know why I didn’t think about it right away, I guess a part of me needed to see the rest of the world, you know? But next time I’m definitely going to use Postmate. I forgive you for not using roasted chicken because your recipe looks really good, too.

i sure did. nothing like scaring the fuck out of yourself and filling up on sugary snacks. the easiest way to get over that is to watch something light after. cartoons usually make for the best route. haunt? what’s that about? i’m dying to know. 

Exactly! I tend to watch a sitcom afterwards, like a good ol’ episode of Friends or The Office. Something that makes me forget about the scary stuff I just saw. Haunt is about a group of friends who decide to go into a haunted house for Halloween, except that the attraction isn’t like the innocent ones we usually go into.

kris: yeah, that's exactly what that means. forever & ever!!

kris: it's all outta love, i promise you that.

kris: thank you for having me. was lovely to hang out with you. which reminds me, we need to hang out in vegas too.

alex: i kinda like that! can't wait for us to be two annoying old people.

alex: is it tho?

Just wait, Alex, that is going to be you one day needing someone to talk to and the only people around are the people at the grocery store, doctor’s office, pharmacy, and places like that.  So watch what you say, buddy.  

My perfect sandwich includes mustard and pickles.  And no it does not include roasted chicken.  I am more of a ham and cheese to be honest.   Are we still friends? 

Well I really hope that by then, I will remember how bothering it can be, for the other people. Although I kinda think that we tend to forget those stuff when we get older? Mh, I don’t know Sarah, mustard and pickles aren’t my favorite things.

What is the perfect sandwich, in your opinion? I hope you’re ready for me to judge you.

You're not allowed to judge me, Zo. You're only allowed to tell me I have amazing taste.

Hey, roomie! Long time no talk. You and your hermit ways, getting in the way of us hanging out, I see. What kind of sandwich did you have? Spare me no details, I want every ingredient on that list! Oh jeez, pipped to the post at the last second, then made to stand around like a fool, while the woman got her stuff and chatted like she was enjoying a bingo session. Not fun. I don’t do much grocery shopping, but whenever the group goes shopping, I hate when they won’t let me put things in the cart that I want. It’s always the good, sweet stuff. As for the perfect sandwich, honestly, at least two types of meat in it, after that, I don’t much mind what’s on it. I like weird combinations too. 

Hey buddy! How have you been? I’m 100% putting the blame on my hermit habits for this and I’m so sorry. But now that I’ve left my cave, it should get better — you're in Vegas this weekend? Roast chicken, bacon, tomatoes, a bit of lettuce, mayo, and chives. Waaait, your mates don’t let you pick what you want? Rude! They should let you eat your treats, really. What kind of weird combinations are we talking about? Gimme some examples!

I am judging you for not inviting me for that perfect sandwich, I should have made that an obligation in our contract. So basically I think the fact that the old woman made shopping harder for you is karma coming down on you

Oh, that would explain a lot — remind me to call you next time, cause I don’t want to deal with another old lady next time. That being said, I’m sure I can find the ingredients I need somewhere in the resort and make that sandwich, just for your pretty eyes.

I’m disappointed there’s no action in that story, I expected you to call her out for taking it tremendously slow but, at the same time, she’s an old lady and we can’t be mean. Uhm, something I hate would probably be when someone just picked the last item I was going to take. You’re making me think with that question. I think pickles, ham, grilled cheese, you can never go wrong with these. It all depends on what I want in that moment. I do like roast chicken but that’s really basic.

I’m so sorry to disappoint you, Elizabeth — it wasn’t my intention! I really wanted to say something, for what it’s worth, but my conscious stopped me from telling anything. I figured that I couldn’t be mean to an old lady and that’s not fair at all. I think you should jump on anyone who’s stealing the last item and take it back from them. That’s a good sandwich, except for the pickles, I think. But the roast chicken is just one ingredient!

Kenny: Are you going to take me to the casino to be your lucky chrarm or some other cheesy thing that people do in Vegas?

Ouch, nothing like being bested by an old lady. She clearly left all her cares at the door. I’ll admit, standing in line anywhere will never be my favorite thing to do, but I’ll give the grocery stores that have self checkout props because I can at least watch folks who often have no idea what they’re doing try to ring up and bag their groceries. It’s a trade off for amusement, if anything. But you always have to love anyone who takes up a whole aisle with their cart, or who stands in front of the item you need for the longest time looking at something else. If I want a really good sandwich, I tend to go for a muffaletta. Plenty of cold cuts, I’m sure roast chicken is in there somewhere. 

I know, right? The worst thing is that it happens a lot. I swear that sometimes, old people are like “we’ve behaved our entire life, let’s be wild now”. I have to admit that I make fun of people in the line, too. We have to keep ourselves busy, no one can blame us! Ugh, yeah, and that’s even worse when that person doesn’t hear you whenever you ask to take a step aside so you can take the item you want. That’s kinda specific! Do you find muffaletta everywhere?

that’s even worse, i’m not sure what my conscience would think of me if i choose to pick a fight with the elderly. at least you got to make your sandwich, right? my thought process would be if i lost ten minutes or more before heading out the door which could have led to me making that sandwich so much quicker. oh well, the end goal had to have been worth it though. here i go, walking into full judgement of my sandwich recipe which is mayo, sliced tomatoes, romaine lettuce, salt and pepper, bacon… also roasted turkey. i’d like to think that it’s close enough, but not really chicken. i would like to lay a defense out there that it is delicious and i could vouch for it that much.

I know what you mean, my conscience is the reason why I didn’t tell anything to that woman and I waited to be outside to complain. So I lost some time but I eventually made that sandwich, yeah! It was worst it. Alright, I’m judging you a little because chicken is better than turkey but the rest of your recipe is close to mine so, well done, girl! I can write your name down on my “people who deserve a Christmas present” list.

The thing I hate the most? Right before it’s my mom or friend’s turn to check out and they’re like ‘oh, i forgot something, i’ll be right back!’ and you have to suddenly go through things by yourself and let whoever’s at the register know and then it’s all awkward for like..10 solid minutes as you try to make some lame small talk. Just not my favorite thing in the world. As for my perfect sandwhich? A sub that’s got roasted chicken, bacon and all the works on it. Makes it taste like pure heaven, I think.

Ha, man, I feel you. When I was still living with my mother, I was always going to the store with her, to help, and she loved doing this. It is such an awkward moment, and you feel like it is lasting forever. Moms love to torture us that way. All you need is bacon and chicken? Dude, you’re not picky at all, it must be easy to please you -- good for you!

duuuude…i would have been livid. i think that’s one of my biggest pet peeves about being in public. when you are waiting in line to check out that is not a social hour. if you wanna talk then step aside and talk while they check someone else out. i think the worst part about the supermarket for me would be when people leave their carts in the center aisle and basically crowd both lanes coming in and out of the aisle. then they get mad at you for asking them to move. i’ve gotten into several arguments at whole foods over that. the perfect sandwich ingredients would be, a little roast chicken of course, i do like turkey, ham, swiss and colby jack cheese, lettuce, tomato, oil and vinager, banana peppers, black olives, and extra mayo.

It’s awful. I get that maybe the poor woman has no one else to talk to but come on, step aside and let the other people pay for their stuff. That being said, you’re right -- the aisle stuff is super annoying, too. Especially when they get mad! Like, dude, you’re crowding the whole place and you’re being rude? Not cool. No wonder why so many people love Postmates. I’m not a big fan of banana peppers, and I don’t like olives in sandwich buuut your perfect sandwich is pretty cool mate, I’ll admit it!

kris: N O. don’t ever say those words. you’re not allowed.

kris: i love youuuuuuuuuuu 💞

kris: sold! i'm there. did you want me to bring anything? food maybe?

alex: so it means i'm stuck with you.. forever??

alex: i love you, too, even when you're being mean to me :(

kris: NEVER.

kris: you think i'm pretty? awwwwwww, so CUTE. i think you're pretty too, even in your old age. i'll happily come and bug you. give me a time and place and i'm there, buddy.

alex: THIS FRIENDSHIP IS CANCELLED.

alex: in my old age?? i-- bye.