The Land of Dreams and stuff

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Day 8 - 13/01/1969

MLH just can't hold back his unconscious comedic instincts. "Oh hare krishna, yeah those people" "Harry who?" absolute gold

The entire conversation about Yoko talking for John, with Paul taking their side, is fascinating. Paul has said and done quite a lot of nice things for J&Y (I go into it a bit here and here), like letting them move in with him, doing Ballad of John and Yoko together, doing liner notes for Two Virgins, going with John to see Joseph Lockwood about the naked album cover, trying to get them back together in the 70s, and in this case, defending them behind their backs to a group of people who want Paul to make John keep her out of the way.

It's interesting to me because despite all these fairly concrete examples of Paul being overtly kind to them, and the fact that Paul's official stance was "we should let them do what they want, there's nothing wrong with them being together", John STILL came away with the impression that Paul was unreasonably mean to her and rejected them. He unironically said this: "It’s a kind of jealousy. People can’t stand people being in love. They absolutely can’t stand it. They want to pull you down in the hole they’re in."

There are also times when John pities Paul for apparently being alone (has that man ever been alone in his life? are multiple girlfriends insufficient?): "And throwing in the line “the Walrus was Paul” just to confuse everybody a bit more. And because I felt slightly guilty because I’d got Yoko, and he’d got nothing, and I was gonna quit."

Paul obviously IS jealous and IS upset, but harassing them about the bags isn't enough for me to think that he wants to "pull them down in the hole he's in", and it's strange that John would think that. I think Paul tried so hard to be nice, but ultimately that wasn't the reaction John wanted. He expected pushback to prove that Paul wanted him, for Paul to try to get him back. It's classic triangulation, the biggest shittest he ever pulled - and Paul failed.

I mean, if everyone in the Beatles circle expected Paul to say something and fix the problem, surely John also expected it?

Anyway back to Get Back - Paul explains that they're writing less because they don't live together. His and John's preoccupation with living together as the fundamental glue of their relationship is also fascinating. Like John saying this: "People in love have two choices: either work together or work apart; that’s presuming they’re both creative. Like the film starts we used to read about, like Betty Lou [Bette Davis?] would be in South America making a film with Tarzan and Errol Flynn would be in the Moon making a film with Joan Crawford, or whatever it was. And all— they always fell apart somehow, no matter how devoted they might be, because nobody can survive being apart. So we have that choice: either survive as human beings — and still create — or separate so neither of our creative energies or images impose on the other. And we’ve opted for living together."

Paul jokes about writing about white walls in front of Yoko but imo it's a very serious matter, as I've written about before:

More on that from TMBP: “It’s a bit embarrassing cause I do think of it,” Paul said. “I start examining my emotions with Yoko there. And it’s probably silly because Yoko’s not what we’re also thinking she is".

A lot of people take Paul saying "But it's gonna be such an incredible sort of comical thing, like, in 50 years' time. They broke up 'cause Yoko sat on an amp." as evidence that he thinks it's a ridiculous (untrue) idea, but I feel it's more that he thinks it's a very real possibility- and the idea that it might actually cause their breakup is absurd and comical. He did actually blame her for George quitting during this court case.

Paul's idea for a depressing TV show announcing their breakup is horrible, but apparently he has enough bravado to use the concept of the divorce for something artistic and coldly sort of promotional.

I know it's probably blasphemy but I am not moved by the "and then there were two" moment. I just don't trust the editing. The real conversation ended in a joke and a laugh, not Paul tearing up:

Paul: And then there were two. [said to laughter and no pause]

Ringo: Tom & Jerry.

Michael: Simon & Garfunkel

Ringo: I know, I said it because you told me. … Simon & Garfunkel used to be Tom & Jerry.

Linda: Oh I know, “Hey Schoolgirl.” (she begins to sing)

Paul: That’s what they used to call themselves?

I'm not sure I even trust the visuals of Paul crying. Maybe it's just the light. Maybe I'm just cynical. But hats off to PJ for fabricating a moment that emotionally affected the audience more than almost any other part of the docu, it's good storytelling for sure. And I can concede it's emotionally true if not literally.

OMFG this man cannot help himself: “And then John: his amp, his guitar. Actually sitting there, doing it at that minute. I think if you start going in that direction, then, I think you might think of a great idea. ‘Oh, incidentally, we think it all should be done in a black bag or something.’”

Paul talking about the Who: “Pete Townshend, I never saw him. I’d really like to look at him for a long time cause he fascinates me. … I’d like to really just see what he looks like after he’s done that thing (presumably his windmill guitar move). … The feeling is mutual!

The flowerpot conversation goes crazy. I recommend reading the lunchroom tape pages on TMBP, because it's too much for me to try and understand. It's all of these synonyms that I just looked up to help me describe it:

They are so close and have so much history that they essentially talk in shorthand. The dialogue in Get Back is somewhat understandable, but the full thing is just ???

I think it was a dishonest editing choice to pretend the conversation was just between John and Paul, when really Ringo, Mal, Linda and Yoko were there.

I find myself shocked by how well J&P communicate though, they are civil, mature, and sincere. People often hit them with the 'if only they communicated!' thing, but this conversation makes it hard to believe they didn't.

It's sus af that PJ completely got rid of the part where John admits his jealousy of Paul: Do I want him back, Paul? … [D]o I want it back, whatever it is, enough? Then if it is, you know, I’ve had to smother my ego for you, and I’ve had to smother me jealousy for you to carry on, for whatever reasons there is. Like, is that not an important, interesting facet of their relationship?

One argument I'll always disagree with, is that Paul and George's problems were due to Paul being jealous of or threatened by George. John says: “You try and make George play competently, because you’re afraid that how he’ll play won’t be like you want him to play,” John told Paul. “And that’s what we did. And I feel that's really what it came down to, Paul wanting his songs the way he wants them and being willing to hurt feelings to get it.

John goes on to essentially say he was SCARED of Paul in the studio, which is something you basically never see discussed as an aspect of their relationship. So many Beatle fans and authors are attached to their fantasy of a tough, cool John who is artistically superior to Paul and knows it, and here he is admitting he's afraid of his mild mannered best friend: Well, I’m saying that “Dear Prudence” is arranged. Can’t you hear [John vocalizes part of the song]. That is the arrangement, you know?  But I’m too frightened to say “This is it.” I just sit there and say, “Look, if you don’t come along and play your bit, I won’t do the song,” you know? I can’t do any better than that. Don’t ask me for what movie* you’re gonna play on it. Because apart from not knowing, I can’t tell you better than you have, what grooves you can play on it.  You know, I just can’t work.  I can’t do it like that.  I never could, you know.  But when you think of the other half of it, just think, how much more have I done towards helping you write?  I’ve never told you what to sing or what to play. You know, I’ve always done the numbers like that.  Now, the only regret, just the past numbers, is when because I’ve been so frightened, that I’ve allowed you to take it somewhere where I didn’t want.

It even goes to the extent that John had to... idk if I understand what he's saying exactly, either that he had to be drunk to show songs to Paul, or pretend he was drunk. Either way it's not good: “I’d got to a bit where I thought it’s no good, me telling you how to do it, you know? All I tried to do on [the White A]lbum was just sing it to you like I was drunk, you know? Just did me best to say, ‘Now look, this, this stands up on its own.’ “And I’m not doing this quite well this time, ‘cause I — like, even with ‘Don’t Let Me Down’, the first time I sang it. Because I hadn’t allowed meself to say it was a whole song. I couldn’t — it was only after we’d done it that I’d realized it was done.  You know, and on The Beatles album, I just sort of said, ‘Here it is, ignore here, this is me singing it drunk, but I’m pretending as if I’m not. What would you do with it? George, you play whatever you like.’”

So John tells Paul he doesn't want him to arrange his songs, “So on [the White Album] … it’s probably George, you know, if there’s anything wrong with it.  Because I don’t want your arrangement on it … I only want your …  If you give me your suggestions, let me reject them, or if there’s one I like, it’s when we’re writing songs. The same goes for the arrangement.”, unless he does want the arrangement after all

And then goes on to say that he can't arrange them himself even when he knows it needs arranging? "And that’s all I did on the last album was say, “OK, Paul, you’re out to decide [how] my songs [are] concerned, arrangement-wise.” … I’d sooner just sing them, than have them turn into, into ‘[Being For the Benefit of] Mr. Kite,’ or anything else, where I’ve accepted the problem from you that it needs arrangement. …  I don’t see any further than the guitar, and the drums, and, and George Martin doing the … I don’t hear any of the flutes playing, you know?  I suppose I could hear ‘em if I [spoken as if straining] sat down and worked very hard! You know, I could turn out a mathematical drawing, if you like …" And what's wrong with Mr Kite? Paul didn't get the sound of sawdust right enough for him?

It's very upsetting to hear that John was feeling this way around Paul, there is obviously no place for fear between friends or creative partners or coworkers. Admittedly it's hard to imagine Paul being scary to someone like John, who can seem scary himself sometimes, so I wonder how much of it has to do with John's self esteem issues rather than their actual interactions.

I feel like Paul gets conflicting feedback regarding when and how much he's supposed to be contributing to the other's songs. George's needs seem to be different to John's (ie he welcomes collaboration on his own songs and wants to be involved in the other's too), and John wants him walking a tightrope of giving just the right amount of help. Which Paul has essentially said before: "I remember sitting for hours thinking, ‘Should I say this thing?’ In the end it always came down to, ‘You should have said something,’ so it’s very hard to balance that. In the end I have to say that sometimes I was overbearing and sometimes they liked it."

Paul is pretty damn quiet throughout this whole thing. John is kinda coming at him for a bunch of perceived transgressions, and he's not defending himself or getting mad. It reminds me of descriptions of the 4-4-4-2 meeting, which say Paul was very quiet the whole time. Maybe shutting down at conflict is just his way of dealing with it, maybe he's trying his best to take the criticism under advisement, or maybe he's as confused by the contradictions as I am.

Anyway back in the studio now. Weirdly I like seeing John dressed like this, it's kind of anachronistic in the sense it looks like it could be an outfit from today rather than the 70s. No comment on Paul's shirt.