WELCOME

Age: –

Address: E-4

Wanted position: Psychiatrist

Experience: Superior of an entire realm, a background in the mental and physical effects of darkness when applied to humans, and a vast knowledge of how emotions such as rage or hatred can be applied to effect ones disposition. I can provide your institution with new insights into potential methods of rehabilitation should they prove to be resilient to most methods, and help them come to terms with this program, teaching them that it is far more productive to accept ones negative aspects, and embrace their more sinister urges.

Skills: Combat ability is obvious, if patients intend to get violent and I possess this. If you desire more insight into my ability to aid in the therapeutic rehabilitation sessions, then I will consider your methods a tad illogical, but simple enough to perform. Hardly anything beyond impossible to carry out. As for one on one sessions with patients, I find it rather simple to commit to acting in any role required to fit social interaction. If they require a friend, I can pretend to be such, and if they require an enemy. It should hardly be an issue.

Reason for applying: To utilize my time in a fashion that will be productive to society, as it should satisfy the keybearers. Also, it will provide a new insight into the workings of the heart, and how one can harness its power.

Abilities: Dark Corridors allow for ease of access to any location within the asylum, for immediate aid when required. Combat abilities are suitable enough to defend myself against any unruly patients. Knowledge on how to effect the heart and overwhelm it with despair and darkness.

Extra notes: I possess an inability to feel emotion, so at anytime should a patient attempt to appeal to my ‘soft’ side, this will end in failure. I will also not be fazed by any extremes in the way of rehabilitation due to this.

     "Welcome, welcome.. wel-come!”

Age: unknown for sure; early/mid 20s

Address: y-6

Wanted position: Guard

Experience: He’s been a bodyguard to prominent members of well-to-do mafia families. While he’s never worked in any formal institutions, his loyalty to his bosses ensures that he does his best to not fail, lest he disappoint someone. He’s also a mechanic, but that’s neither here nor there!

Skills: Well, guarding, keeping people safe if need be (on the other hand, harming people if ordered to), breaking/disassembling things (whether it be inanimate objects or people), and remaining fiercely loyal. Also, his skill with the large monkey wrench he always carries is kind of incredible; as his main weapon, he’s handy with it, and can use it to dislocate people’s joints, immobilizing them quickly.

Reason for applying: He’s a little bored and a little broke, seeking out something to both entertain him and help his finances flourish a little. He’s in the moral gray area with little official work experience, so this kind of thing is opportune!

Abilities: Even though he’s a normal human, his strength is nothing to laugh at. He’s on par with even some of the supernatural in his series and his usual mindset allows him to use that strength against pretty much anyone/anything.

Extra notes: he’ll talk the patients ears off probably?? maybe that’ll drive them crazy too

     "Hm. Fancy.”

     “Good to know we’ll have some backbone to this place. Welcome to the asylum, Mr. Specter!”

Age: Technically deceased, technically 455

Address: Own house in Sector oo6

Wanted position: Guard; though I can also put on performances. I am an idol, after all! Do you not have a torture department? I’d do well there.

Experience: I suppose you could say I was brought back into the world for the sake of fighting. 

Skills: Singing, torturing, murdering. You know, wholesome family fun!

Reason for applying: If remained stagnant in this city far too long, I could use an escape and the income.

Abilities: Let’s see…  Superhuman strength, speed, endurance. An inability to be harmed by attacks that lack magical oomph, and even then have a strong resistance to magic. Perhaps you’ve also taken notice of my sharp claws? Oh! And I can use a Dragon Breath attack! I suppose I benefit from having all of my abilities unlocked.

Extra notes: If possible, I would like to avoid having to come into contact with males. Or at the least, provide me with tools in those instances. I’d prefer to not soil my hands.

     “A.. 455-year-old idol.. who enjoys torture and fighting.”

     "Y’know, this is news even to me. You’re in.”

  “Puddin’, it says she doesn’t wanna be around boys. Which means ya can’t go pickin’ on her, okay? I don’t wanna see ya all… dragon breath’d. Sounds like it’d be smelly, don’t it?”

  “The dancin’ thing though, I bet that’d be fun! After we give out a couple ‘a lobotomies, the veggies oughta get the best in entertainment. I’m a second ta that hirin’ ya!”

     “Sounds good! Y’know, I think business will really boom between the both of our, uh.. institutions.”

  “So what, we just get a bunch ‘a fit, strong, reliable people helpin’ us out? For free? Puddin’, you know I’m from Brooklyn, an’ this schnoz can smell a scam a mile away.”

Age: 20

Address: District Beta

Wanted position: Psychologist

Experience: Hmm– okay, so perhaps I don’t have any relevant experience, but I am studying psychology in college right now, which I feel is significant, is it not? I also have quite a bit of experience with subduing troublesome individuals, so I would be able to respond well when treating a difficult patient!

Skills: I’m good at research, I love experimentation, and I possess enough strength to strangle the average grown man.

Reason for applying: Because it sounds so exciting! My studies appear to be at a stand-still while I’m here, no accredited universities to be found, and what’s the next best thing? Hands-on experience!

Abilities: I can play the violin! Oh, unless you meant supernatural abilities like some in this place seem to have, in which case, nothing of note.

Extra notes: I look stunning in a white coat.

     “Good style, skills, and you’re even studying psychology! What a surprise..”

     “Flora Panetti, welcome to Alveare Asylum. Just remember -- don’t let those, uh, nasty societal expectations hold you back when it comes to treating the patients. If you wanna do research, do it. It’s all.. free reign.”

Their address: District Beta

Their abilities: He’s fast, strong, and heals faster than a human; demons can do lots of things that are beyond-human but like just about everyone else, his powers are limited while he’s here. Not that that makes him safe.

Their weapons: I don’t think he needs one, per se, he’s good with– whatcha call it?– improvised weapons? A good butler can, after all, turn even his master’s silver cutlery into deadly weapons! Claude told me that.

Reason for submission: He bothers me, I don’t like knowing he’s out there, and more than once he’s tried to stop me from killing his young lord and look, I was this close!

Bounty sum (optional): I don’t have a lot of money here, but I’ll pay what it takes if someone here goes and takes that black knight off the chessboard.

Extra notes (potential threat level, etc.): Since the Queen’s Dog isn’t here to order him around, there’s nothing to use as bait for him, so you might have to find him the old-fashioned way.

     “Wouldja look at that.. a demon. I’m disappointed we’ve never met before! And here I was, beginning to doubt I’d ever hear of one..”

     “Y’know what, we’ll do our best. I think I want this one locked up good and tight.”

Age: 21

Address: Apt. A4

Wanted position: Gardener… if you please.

Experience: Of course, I have plenty of knowledge about how to grow a garden to its fullest potential- and, if need be, how to take care of the patients while on the premises.

Skills: Gardening, of course, in addition to torture, murder, disguising myself… what more might you want from an employee?

Reason for applying: Simple- I fear that I may have made some enemies, and helping to keep them in the asylum’s capable hands is in my best interests.

Abilities: …Do good looks count?

     “Diane Makepeace, huh..”

     “..Ahem, you are in. Looks like you’re, uh, exceeding our expectations already. Welcome to Alveare Asylum! I’m sure we’ll just thrive with your help.”   

Age: 28

Address: District Delta

Wanted position: Janitor

Experience: Well, he keeps himself clean, which is pretty good for what he’s physically capable of doing.

Skills: Skilled with magic, and actually isn’t half bad at cooking and cleaning. Y'know, fatherly duties.

Reason for applying: Well, he needs work, now doesn’t he?

Abilities: Has parasitic Crest Worms implanted in his body that he can fire out as piranha-esque flying insects. He can only use three at a time for now, but that number will rise as he ranks up.

Extra notes: Joker already knows him.

     “Y’know.. I had a feeling I picked the right guy when I stopped you.”

     “Sold. Taken. You’re in, Mister.. Matou. The pleasure’s all mine.”

     "You’ve got good taste! And creativity.. I like that.”

     “Welcome to Alveare Asylum, HABIT. Whoever said you need an actual degree, or something?”

Age: 20 (physically)

Address: Q2

Wanted position: Nurse

Experience: My late ex-boyfriend was a Pharmacology major in uni, and I’ve picked up chemistry knowledge here and there. I’ve also had practical experience creating and administering poisons to various…subjects.

Skills: Poison mixing (as nice or as badly as you’d like, I’m still learning, after all~), murder, poetry. I can also cook if need be.

Reason for applying: I’ve always held a fondness for myself the weak. And really, what are these poor, misguided, innocent souls but spirits deficient in their daily dose of twisted morals? Please, let me help you save them. 

Abilities: Being a perfectly charming and delightful lady. 

Extra notes: I don’t suppose you have a chemical lab on premises, do you? Even a small workstation would do. I like to…dabble in new recipes from time to time. It helps to keep my mixing skills sharp.

     "Hmm, well-- See, this is everything and more than we could ask for! Welcome to Alveare Asylum. You look like you could do a lot for us here.” 

     “As for a lab.. there’s bound to be something in the medical facility. Pick what ya want, while it’s still free.”

Their address: V-2 (yet another annoying neighbor)

Their abilities: Logic-defying crack-inducing 4th-wall breaking levels of manliness, super strength, ability to take pain for others.

Their weapons: Manliness. Clocks. Suspension of disbelief.

Reason for submission: Please, just lock him up for a while so I can have my tea in peace.

Bounty sum (optional): I’ll consider it based on the success of capture and rehabilitation. I don’t hold high hopes for this demon but…go on. Surprise me.

Extra notes (potential threat level, etc.): It’s more than likely he’ll escape right after you lock him up, so you need a reason to keep him around. If you’d be so kind to focus your lovely attentions on my other submission, a certain spirit medium, he might be forced to stay and keep her happy. Also, I suggest wearing earplugs or having a sensible person around to disarm his “logic.” That mumbo-jumbo is lethal at close distances.

  “Ya know, I ain’t got a clue how ta pronounce this guy’s name. What I do know is that he sounds like a grade L loser.” 

  “Takes pain for others, huh? I think I’m plenty sensible enought ta disarm his logic, don’t you? Though… why do ya think he put arms on his logic? That just sounds weird.” 

     “Theeere are plenty of weird people in this city. Just means we’re adding another to our.. blessed institution.”

     “If we can’t find someone for the job.. we’ll do it ourselves!”

  “That means he’s in right? Oooh, Ooh, can I do it? I wanna do it! Stamp! Ha, ding, ding, ding, we got ourselves one accepted winner!”

Their address: X-2

Their abilities: Spirit channeling (defunct), massive appetite, foiling my plans

Their weapons: She recently obtained a spear from her favorite TV series, the Steel Samurai. Which she watches day in and day out in that apartment of hers. 

Reason for submission: I meant to kill her but I never succeeded. She needs a little lesson in how to be more considerate to her family members. I would also appreciate it if you could find a way to teach her to be quiet. Permanently.

Bounty sum (optional): Oh, I’ll pay when I get the chance. I wouldn’t forget anyone who did me such a special favor~ 

Extra notes (potential threat level, etc.): Burgers are ideal bait for this type of prey. Also, DVDs of her stupid TV series.

     “Spirit channeling, a spear, and.. a weakness for burgers.”

     “Whadaya think, Harl?”

  “I think we should go for it, Puddin’! Burgers are easy, an’ it sounds real fun teachin’ somebody how ta play the quiet game. I always hated that game when I was a kid, but hey, maybe that was just me bein’ crazy.” 

  “Far as first customahs go, this one sounds like a breeze ta me, and it helps ta make a good first impression, right? Ooh, does this mean we get ta go get some burgers? I’m starvin’ here.”  

     “You took the words right out of my mouth! Consider this an acceptance.”

   Tired of spoilsports? Sick of the good guys ruining all your fun? Never fear, for we have found your cure!

Welcome to Alveare Asylum – home for the criminally sane, where all those do-gooders can be locked away for good. And studied, too!

Created by the Joker and Doctor Harley Quinn, we offer you an opportunity to cleanse this city; to better it through the caring treatment of our most problematic citizens. With an experienced, intellectual staff, you’re sure to be satisfied by this excellent psychiatric hospital.

                                                              ☺ ☺ ☺

Alveare Asylum is an institution run by the Joker and Harley Quinn. Don’t be fooled by its public image – it’s meant for locking up do-gooders of all kinds, serving more as a place of imprisonment than treatment. Nevertheless, help can be found in all kinds of questionable ways, whether it be physical or psychological (torture.)