But making that generalization that joking about si is bad for you is I think part of a larger suicidist mechanism: not letting us talk.

Iirc in his paper on suicidism Alexandre Baril said something along the lines of suicidal people aren't considered experts of their own experiences. Current suicidal people aren't listened to. You're only allowed a voice if you're not suicidal anymore. Or if you knew someone who died by suicide. (It's been a while since I read it I can't focus on shit anymore but that's how I remember it, I'll have to check)

Non-suicidal people think they have to control us for our own good. They think they know better than us. We're mindless wild animals who don't deserve agency and autonomy and basic rights and respect. We get locked up at worst or controlled about how we talk at best (see websites jumping at your throat if you search suicide, because ofc we don't deserve community we have to go talk to Professionals™️ who harm us.) Control is seen as good and something that will just stop the thoughts. It's not about our circumstances, or listening to us and understanding why we're suicidal. It's just that suicide is unacceptable. We Think Wrong and we have to be, and can be, forced into Thinking Right.

It's this bullshit vision that letting us express our si will make it worse. But talking in alt2su and being able to just throw out there what I feel and how much I wanna kms and what methods I imagine, and how my attempt went, what I remember, what I went through after, is much more helpful than having to shut up and keep it inside like how is it hard to understanddddd. But no if you dare to express si you're a danger to yourself and you're "promoting"/"glorifying".

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I feel like it could be interpreted either way - she genuinely has never heard of it but can tell it can't be anything good, or she knows and really, really doesn't want us to have her unleash that kind of power.

Let's run with the second one for a sec.

I've seen people suggest maybe cast it herself in the past on Dess during the bunker incident (causing her death/disappearance) and maybe blanked it from her memory or held it as her deepest secret, but I wanna propose another idea here.

Monsters supposedly can't use magic in the light world but Noelle is a nerd, and a gamer.

She's not as loud about it as Berdly, but she's a huge fan of the Dragon Blazers series - bringing it up in chapter 1 asking to carry on playing it with Rudy, then following through with that in chapter 2. If you act against the first virovirokun with her and they and Kris explain how fights work, she says this:

Then we have her main attack: Iceshock. In the second hospital visit, Rudy suggests she uses Fireshock in the normal route (only to be dismissed by Noelle because 'the mage already left the party'), while Noelle herself suggests Iceshock in the weird route:

The 'shock' spells seem to be from Dragon Blazers specifically... Her spells are an in-game video game reference, she's just as nerdy in her dark world form as Berdly.

So... Snowgrave. With all this in mind, I don't think it's something she's ever cast, but she recognises the name. And I think it's probably from a Dragon Blazers creepypasta.

(this is one possible thing she can click when acting on popups)

Noelle LOVES scary things, and from this we know she likes unusual and creepy things in video games, so it's not a stretch to assume she's the kinda person who likes to read creepypasta. If Iceshock is already from the series, Snowgrave being from a horror story/video based on the same series wouldn't surprise me at all.